I got a new laptop yesterday. It has the touchbar thing, which is beyond awesome......

Except for when it lists your favourite interweb sites and the BBS shows up as the club's (old) crest and I am reminded of yesterday and I want to crush the new laptop with a hammer.

Wilbur the penguin, especially the radio version.

Hoping Leicester lose and therefore ManU win. I feel very sullied.

Superbowl being thrusted down our necks.

After telling my ARSENAL supporting mate that I left on 70 mins as I couldn't bare it anymore on a Saturday I was greeted with 'you're not a true fan, I would of stayed till the end.' He's been to a handful of games in his life and I've probably already been to more than he will in his entire life. Even without a season ticket in the championship for a few years (which is how some define a true fan) I still went to as many games as possible. Many of my mates ser the premier league as the top 6 only

You need new mates.

I don't recognise the words Arsenal and mates in the same sentance

People that use the word "eclectic".

'Let's be positive and get behind the team' threads on here.

People who post large photos on the BBS resulting in the text on that page being too tiny to read.

http://gifrific.com/wp-content/uploa...ks-and-rec.gif

People who take great delight in telling you 'Palace are shit'.

Players that don't care enough to prove them wrong.

So true

Makes a change from the 24/7 Premier League wankfest on Sky, which continues even when other sports dare to be scheduled.

"And England have just beaten India by 3 wickets, but don't miss SUPER SUNDAY tomorrow when the mighty Hull City take on Stoke. A game not to be missed."

******* do one.

HRP and Penstone Eagle?

London traffic

:)

Leeds traffic

Doing my 'kin box in

Train tomorrow. Can't face another 3 1/2 in the motor listening to radio 90's

People sending you jokes that you sent them days earlier.

bear
bɛː
verb
1.
(of a person) carry.
"he was bearing a tray of brimming glasses"
synonyms: carry, bring, transport, move, convey, take, fetch, haul, lug, shift;
2.
support; carry the weight of.
"walls which cannot bear a stone vault"
synonyms: support, carry, hold up, prop up, keep up, bolster up;


bare
bɛː
adjective
1.
(of a person or part of the body) not clothed or covered.
"he was bare from the waist up"
synonyms: naked, unclothed, undressed, uncovered, stripped, with nothing on, in a state of nature, disrobed, unclad, undraped, exposed
2.
without addition; basic and simple.
"he outlined the bare essentials of the story"
synonyms: straightforward, plain, simple, basic, pure, essential, bare-bones, fundamental, stripped down, cut down, stark, bald, cold, hard

verb
1.
uncover (a part of the body or other thing) and expose it to view.
"he bared his chest to show his scar"
synonyms: uncover, strip, lay bare, undress, unclothe, denude, unveil, unmask;

Also "would have" not "would of"

Jim White of Sky News and Talksport. Sycophantic slimeball.

hdeagle

Dog doing a poo, me with doggy bag ready to pick up poo like the good citizen i am, dog then putting imaginary sand over it with her hind claws but flicking bits of the poo every which way instead.

'I'm here, I'm there, I'm always on the air.'

Yeah we noticed. Click.

Vile, ******* vile.

As if to remind me of our current predicament my Palace car sticker has started peeling off and my car is covered in seagull shit. Not ******* happy.

The liquid evil that's been coming out of my arse for the last 2 days thanks to food poisioning. Think I'm going to have to burn my varthroom down to get rid of the smell

The girl stood next to me on the train from Leeds to London, on the phone constantly and telling the exact same story every time with the most annoying posh accent.

'Oh yar mummy, Leeds vibe is sooo sick. Yar. The writing and acting course was, like, so fabulous yar. Yar. Really hope I get offered a, like, place yar'

You'll last 3 days talking like that up there love

That I wont hear the roar of those magnificent Olympus engines on Concorde again.

Full beam wankers.

Dating websites! I don't get it. People at work talking about tinder and flicking through pics. **** off, go out and find someone you sad wankers.

Oh and full beam wankers is a good shout Stella.

Fog light wankers > full beam wankers. A full beam wanker is prob just forgetful or changing gear and will oblige if you flash them. A fog light wanker when there is no fog/mist is just a full on wanker who you know will drive like a c~nt.

This :lux:

Middle lane hogging a) women drivers looking like startled rabbits,staring straight ahead and will never leave that middle lane until their junction b) Addison Lee drivers c) old boys with the old women in the passenger seat smoking a fag, both without a care in the world d) ***** on their phone, who slow down to about 60-65 mph, then finish their call and then put their foot down..... ******* pull over!!!

Am I right in thinking that a fundamental design fault in 4 X 4's is that, because of their height, dimmed lights still have full beam wanker effect on lower vehicles? Or is that just my prejudice coming into play?

Radio playlists seemingly being chosen from one box of 50 odd 45's.
We've had 60 plus years of rock and pop, much of great quality, yet I have to listen to that c*nt Sheeran several times a day.

Footballers who unashamedly suck off the premier league gravy train without any professional pride in their 'work', then feck off to leech off another promoted host when the current one gets relegated.

I think a rule that players have to stay for one year on reduced earnings, at the discretion of the club, would do wonders for some lower table Premier League performance stats.

Very, very, very minor celebs who die (sadly obviously) and are all over the BBC news.

WTAF.

Will there be a state funeral when Kate Moss goes?

Unless lorries have the same effect on you, it's definitely your prejudice.

I'll check. :supergrin:

Not at all new, but Piers bloody Morgan, comparing David Beckham to Jimmy Saville in their motives to do charity work. Are we surprised from a man who turned the Daily Mirror from a decent paper to an absolute comic.

People who walk through a doorway and stop. This is especially irksome in shops. I accept that people want to read signs, grudgingly, but why not step to one side? And why indulge in conversation on your way out, but right in the doorway? Why? Why?

I have reflected upon this degree of annoyance and it is a consequence of the increased use of cards to pay at the till, causing a decrease in one of my hyper-peeves; people astonished to learn they have to pay after loading their items in to bags and spending about a million years scrabbling around for the money and counting it out in every imaginable denomination of coin, note and token. It's a form of ire equilibrium.

There's got to be a better way hasn't there. I'd scrap the lot, 25 man squads, transfer windows, ban agents playing club off against club. Have ebay style timed auctions within ffp with full visibility of what clubs are playing in terms of transfer/loan fees/inducements and wages. End this undisclosed nonsense. Have small enough squads and a minimum number of yoof players per match. Make it easier for clubs to loan an amount of players each season to cover injuries, but not at the expense of academies. Keep players playing, not getting splinters and going backwards. Improve the standards across the divisions. Not this ridiculous hyped up divide between the premier league and evereywhere else. We have nearly gone through the whole cycle of hyped player wage increase for no gain in league position and are about to be spat back out to the championship if we arent careful. Get the wage demands back to realistic(ish) levels.

But i guess the taxman loves the current system too much as its far too easy for the crooked who run football to declare everything as 'undisclosed'. Anyway, rant over. There's 19 other clubs in this division with differing degrees of the same problem.

It's Jimmy Hill's fault. He started it. He led the campaign to end salary caps for footballers.

I think it's their owners don't know how to adjust them, nor the inclination to learn how to do so.

Don't move to the sticks Stella. They also don't use indicators. They will deliberately drive down the middle of the road making you give way where passing is perfectly possible but they're not confident. They will insist on taking up the road on a narrow lane making you have to edge on to the grassy verge despite them being in a 4x4 vehicle. They will wheelspin in snowy/icy conditions because they don't know how to drive the thing they bought. They will do that edging out in to the road thing obstructing traffic when seeking to turn right. They will open their doors when parked without looking behind them. They will think that turning on hazard lights is a licence to do WTF they want.

Fortitude. Bloody stupid convoluted story lines

People walking and texting/reading at the same time. You can't get past them and they're oblivious to the tailback behind them. London Bridge some mornings when you get three in a row like this tempts me to murder.

And now they brag about their advertising revenue. Any company with any ethics should boycott that rag.

Phone zombies on train platforms. They stare at their phone for the entire train journey, then shuffle off the carriage still staring at it and then wander slowly down the platform still gawping at their phone. You feel like slapping the phone out of their hands.

Yep. I'm afraid they do all of that in the city as well. :grrr:

being interrupted whilst having a wank

and then accidentally knocking over the cumbucket...

Liked series one. Given up after four episodes of series 2:(

:D

Opening the bathroom cabinet & having to immediately try & catch seventeen boxes, packets & tubes of Bonjela, Calpol, paracetamol & the like because the last person to take something from said cabinet just shoved everything back in & shut the door fast, knowing that the contents were un-*******-stable.

In Colombia and Bolivia I would expect there to be.

OMG hope she was OK?

Breaking in new shoes.

Dont worry the wife will be very grateful

Danish people who rent your house for a month and then complain its cold,so you spend 50€ on a months worth of firewood for the log burner, then complain that it makes their daughter cough and then piss off to another place on the coast and try to get a refund and then moan because you charge them because theyve lost the ******* door keys and the fob to open the garage door!

Did they leave bacon and pastries everywhere?

No......*****

Silly ***** walking in and around train stations playing pokemon. They deserve more than a slap.

Kill them.

Places that claim they have free WiFi but in fact have BT WiFi which is not free unless you're already a BT customer.

The new bbc player app arrgggh all big pictures and scroll scroll scroll to navigate an no idea how to find the extra features. Wankers why do these companies always insist on messing with things that work perfectly . BASTARDS !

Absolute :jerkit:s at work, who are from different floors, who, rather than drop their steaming, stinking, puke inducing piles of cack down their own khazis on their own floor...venture to another floor to potentially save their embarrassment and do it there. :veryangry


Oh well...have fun trying wipe clean now I've switched the lights out on my way out... :hi:

:eek:Two filthy mud-covered poodles shagging outside a local bakery. They're the baker's dogs & run free inside the shop too all round the bread. Won't be buying anything there - ugh.

Ah, the old saying; 'as horny as a baker's poodle...'

Yeh, people do that here, too - this floor is just us and one other small company, but there are always people coming up and down the stairs going into the toilets. It's weird, for one, but mostly just ******* rude.

I wasnt allowed, Mrs Maidstoned went to deal with them as she felt that my offer to "sort those c unting f uckwitted viking twats out" was not in the general spirit of things.

Bacon eating, Nazi supporting bastards.

There was a gaggle of them outside the canteen / cafeteria thing here at work today as I rumbled down the corridor with my 2nd best trolley. Felt like mowing them down at ankle height with my trolley. I was only thwarted by the thought that only 86% of them would get seen with 4 hours up in A&E and there'd be some poor soul waiting in a clinic somewhere with their ingrowing toenail for one of them to look at for even longer.

I'm too nice for my own good sometimes. :moo2:

Films that start with the ending then go back in time.Ruins the whole film.

Stand behind them and rattle the loose change in your pocket. That well known expression of patience being lost.
Whereas, losing patients might actually be of benefit to you, all things considered.

The fact that the Tara Whatshername thread has reached 94,while the Alan Simpson one is only on 1 :grrr:

Except Quadrophenia, obviously.

And Pulp Fiction

And Memento?

And Arrival. That one's a head****.

OK OK Haha

Its been hijacked by Beatles and Don't Do Drugs propaganda

Top top film.

You already posted that yesterday ....

Bollox...forgot the tattoo for that one :(

https://www.theguardian.com/public-l...rnment-inquiry

The decline in the upkeep of our parks. I used to really enjoy going to the parks around Sydenham when I was little.

Irreversible, a brilliant but hard to watch French film, that starts at the end.

Matt Le Blanc,liked him in Friends,but started to annoy in the overrated Episodes,and now the overrated Top Gear

That c*nt with the organ in The Style Council.

That there seems to be no way to filter out other people's interactions with Piers Morgan on twitter.

There is. Don't use twitter. :)

Mick Talbot....what a prick

Selfies

The Daily Express. A disgusting paper

Public school actors and musicians denying that their background had in any way contributed to their success, some having the neck to claim it had been a hindrance.

Oh yes. And ones who have famous parents too.