Feck off:p

Here's a tip, don't ever buy a pasty from 'the pasty shop' at Kings Cross station if you need a quick snack after having had a glass or three of wine at an old colleague's retirement do before catching the train back to Grantham.

The contents of said pasta are ******* volcanic and I am slowly spreading a puddle of sweat on the station concourse as I type.

Ha ha, done many a time.

Just think yourself lucky you weren't trying to get the train on Tuesday evening !

Did you make it home, or do you now have a grim story for one of the most infamous threads on the BBS?

Bands that sell their music for adverts. I can't listen to Blitzkrieg Bop by the Ramones without thinking of that AO advert. Likewise the Stone Roses' Waterfall without thinking of Vodafone. Don't really care if it is Simon Cowell made rubbish but proper music loses some of its power by doing it.

Ruid Gullit on Talksport being treated like he's dispensing pearls from the Sermon of the Mount

And he's got a jumper tied round his neck

People who park 'over the line' in a car park, meaning the empty space next to their car is so narrow it is unusable

Name and shame them here http://youparklike*****.com/

The fact that The One Show has somehow lasted ten years

Pasties generally are shit.

Not as good as a pie, sausage roll or samosa and generally just a load of tasteless sludge in a greasy pastry case.

Was on radio 4 promoting his book this morning like he is a master tactician of the game.

Not a bloke who left Shearer out of the Newcastle team.

Agreed on pies but I am not a great fan of shop bought sausage rolls, which never taste anywhere near as good as home made. I make an exception for Sainsburys taste the difference sausage rolls which are good, and one of our Christmas rituals is to have a plate of them straight out of the oven to hand while decorating the tree.

The part was a poor effort, I gave up halfway through it having suffered third degree burns trying to swallow mouthfuls of the bloody thing.

Anyway back on topic and I am constantly irritated by car doors because the manufacturers have never mastered the spring loading. Try to open your door very carefully in a confined parking space and you can guarantee it will spring out and crunch the car in the next bay. Park in a wide open space and throw open the door with abandon - it will bounce back on itself and whack you on the knee as you try to jump out.

The words "i didn't do anything wrong" being screeched at the top his voice, like a five year old when you're trying to ban a twelve year old from social media for just one evening.

Films where you can barely hear people when they're talking and then an action scene starts and it's like you're at a metallica concert.

He should be shot immediately in that case

agree

Gooners.

https://twitter.com/mikesanz19/statu...69809142919168

Ginger :jerkit:

What a tool:jerkit:

:-) How many spin-offs has that website spawned?

I find old people do the same with their tartan trollies.
When I'm old and doddery I will:-
1/Cross roads where the **** I want, particularly by wandering blindly into moving traffic.
2/Shout down the phone, whilst having my hearing aid(s) turned off.
3/State my age in every conversation like a badge of honour.
4/Ask for help, then refuse any subsequent offer of help saying I can't be bothered, whilst slamming down the phone.
5/Always shop on a Saturday, despite the rest of my week being completely free, wandering the aisles as slowly as I can in no particular direction.
6/Ensure my trousers are at least 6" too short and my flies are permanently open.
7/ Moan it wasn't like this in the 90's to anyone who will listen.
8/Book a weekly doctors appointment, because I can.

You missed out pushing into the front of bus queues:D

Have we met?

1, 3, 5 and 7 ticked already, except with 7 it's the 70's, not the 90's.

And I will raise you :

Bagging the priority seats on buses.
Moaning loudly about buggies on trams and buses.
Muttering about people using a card to pay for a 2.50 sandwich and lazy feckers who hold everyone up with cashback :D.

"Hi, may I please have a slice of toasted banana bread", I ask kindly.

"Sure", the dumb bitch says as she proceeds to put my banana bread in the ******* microwave.

All I ******* wanted was some nice ******* banana bread but all I ******* got was some warm shit on a ******* plate. ******* **** **** she is.

True the difference between a proper freshly baked sausage roll and one of those cold things you get in a plastic wrapper is like chalk and cheese.

Wife moan number 121430430:
She phones me for no real reason when is in the car with the children, asks me something irrelevant and before I can answer her and my 2 daughters then decide to have a debate amongst themselves which I have to listen to. Just wait until you get home.

The demise of customer service; nothing is EVER anyone's ******* fault :grrr:

Agreed,plus taking St John`s Wort for depression.

No, it wasn`t carrying a kebab.:p

Hotpoint.

Total and utter disgrace.

Too long a story to go into in detail but basically we 'took advantage' of their offer to buy a new tumble drier for £90 as ours was one of the ones that had the potential to combust and kill us all.

2 months ago they come to deliver the new one and take away the old one. Tick

When they've gone, wife realizes it's the wrong one they've delivered so we contact them and tell them. This is when it goes tits.

They can't just deliver the right one and take away the wrong one. They have to collect the wrong one and we then have to reorder the right one. ok, no problem. They collect the wrong one. We have no drier.

We ring to order the correct one again. Ok.

They inform us they cannot place an order for a new one because there's no old one to collect. But you've collected the old one months ago you ******* quarterwits.

2 months without a drier.

And still not sorted.

Incompetence of the highest order

Not even checked yet whether or not mine is the one I ordered. I only had a choice of two Hotpoint models with collection of old for £59.

Arrived when they said, took the old, the new one works, wife happy, so am I.

Watch out for the 'warranty' too. I nearly bought a hotpoint washing machine. Seemed a good spec machine for a good price and an included extended warranty. Look closely it's parts only, they charge you £130 or so for a call out and a shocking hourly rate for labour. Costs more than a lot of new machines for a simple repair under 'warranty' . Sounds like they make more money from that than selling machines, no wonder they are so badly made

Which would have been the same for us SE25, had they brought us the right one in the first place !

Edit - The largest picture ever seen removed. See below...

That's really f***ed up this page.

Looks more like 2 years hard labour

Yep, I'm embarrassed. About to edit.

Goldcar. Never again.

What is zis ?

Sounds like a car place? Maybe rental?

The Manchesta Derby and the sky sports wank fest that accompanies it.

Wankers.

I red lined me when the tossers asked Pards about it in yesterdfays press conference, he should've asked if they were going to ask Pep and Jose what their thoughts on Middlesboro vs Palace were. Twats

The Guardiola chant which means Glad all Over will now start being associated with Man City instead of us.

Need to adapt ours to Pardsallover.:afro:

People who leave all their shit in a shopping trolley when they put it back in the trolley park. Inconsiderate c*nts.

Streams that freeze seemingly at every key moment.

Fords sat nav and in car phone system that's impossible to use with a wank manual that is wrong.

Guardiola will be gone in a couple of years.

Glad All Over will ALWAYS be ours :lux:

.....Always be ours :lux:

Getting e-mail birthday wishes from my bank, credit card company and my dentist.

How fricking insincere are they???

Happy birthday

Delaying MOTD for the ******* Proms.

Land of ope n glory guv:p

:D

Get your prostate checked out mate :p

Use of the words 'fricking' or 'freaking'. If you're going to swear ******* swear properly you ****.

Things that annoy you
 

See you next Tuesday.[emoji106]

Add to that 'feck'.

Very good. :)

People who start a sentence with "so". It's the middle class equivalent of innit.

Cafes that call themselves 'continental' when all they are is a middle class version of a normal greasy spoons cafe adding on an extra £2 to prices.

In a similar vein, "Gastropub" etc. versions of supermarket meals. Just a reason to charge 75% more because of a bit of flashy packaging.

Lyric videoas on You Tube "ooh, I love this song and wanted to share with everyone!"

Yes, becuase there aren't 40.000 other videos of the same shite, you fecking *******!

Pills in blister packs. When l push the chalky tablets out they often shatter. Not funny when l am on Warfarin and the measure of the dose is critical. Also oily capsules, the other day l tried to open one it burst and showered the kitchen window with smelly oil which was a job to clean off. What's wrong with an old fashioned bottle of pills FFS?

People who don't realise you can stick 1 letter in in italics to swear fucking properly.

You don't even need to ******* do that.

Edit. Apparently you do :D

cyclists

I cycle regularly and I hate the f*ckers.

Everton nicking our Bolasie song. Helmets

That the Great British Bake Off changing channels is news.

Brexit is news. Syria is news. What channel a baking competition is on is not news.

Boris Johnson's cycle super highway in Hyde Park.
How to increase congestion and pollution overnight.
Twat.

It's a good job we didn't sing the 'super Kev' song about Kevin Phillips or haven't immediately started singing the Villa song about Benteke isn't it?

Is that more annoying than a fictional character in a fictional radio soap getting headlines for getting away with a fictional murder?

I know as a Brit we are not really ones to talk, but you call that coffee?

The quality of sausages served in cafés or chip shops.

These days you can buy a sausage containing something resembling pork and seasoning for very little. Yet they still serve those dark brown things that look like a split condom containing some grey sludge.

Or the Pizza Express pizzas on sale in supermarkets.

They are expensive, rubbish and nothing like the one in the actual restaurant.

Trent Dilfer

I've got to the point where I walk away from people who do it.

"So, basically....."

Also annoying. It is not even a particularly slow news week!

Not as annoying as hearing the outcome before I've had w chance to listen to it.

We should stop immediately

Didn't hear a single song about Benteke on Saturday.

It's not real.

The 2 women sitting opposite me on the train.

Going through the pretence of being nice whilst they slag off pretty much every person they work with.

I think you'll find it is....

http://www.archersanarchists.com/

People who start sentences with "yes, no". Sorry?

Well, actually, not all of us do

Noooooooooooo

And now I have a breaking news banner across my iPad telling me that Sue Perkins and Mel Giedroyc are to leave the Great British Bake Off.

Who gives a ****?

I mean Christ almighty.

Good. Piss off then you smug pair of no marks.

The heat

Never mind.

El Nina is going to take over now, and with the sunspots on the wane we are in for the coldest winter in ages - again. So say the forecasters, apparently :S:

The Daily Express (no I don't buy it) has had that headline every year since I can remember. They are bound to get it right eventually.

The Bake Off stuff is news, actually, because it's a massive show, and cultural developments that affect millions of people are newsworthy. Fair play to Mel and Sue for a rare display of loyalty.

It's also a big story as its about much more than one show. It's about the BBC, what they face under this government, and also about Channel 4 (this move is not going to end well for them, and flies in the face of some of their recent protestations). It's also about Murdoch's ever-growing influence on our cultural identity (Sky owns 70% of Love Productions).

It also rather shows up the government and the right-wing press and their anti-BBC agenda:

Right-wing press slam BBC

Government threatens cuts

BBC warns that cuts will result in big-name shows being lost

Cuts forced through

BBC loses big-name show, despite offering to pay double what they currently do

Right-wing press slam BBC for losing much-loved show

Apart from "There's only two Bentekes" :)

And if it can happen with Bake Off, then this could be repeated with any successful show, made by an independent company, that the BBC nurtures.

ITV, C4 etc could sit back, let the BBC take the risk in developing programmes and then cherry pick the one(s) that will give them the most commercial success.

It will become a bigger issue and it's not clear how the BBC can prevent this once the initial contract for that programme expires. Apparently C4 outbid them by £10m, money they can recoup by selling the advertising and sponsorship to foodie companies.

Oh yes, correct

****wits that send out posts on facebook requiring Amens and then the ****wits that type Amen - my sister being one of the said ****wits

Amen to that

Didn't hear
Benteke, oh oh
Benteke, oh oh oh oh
Let's fly way up to the top
Away from that pillock called Klopp.....?

Mark Hughes annoys me...want to hit, hit, kill...(OK thats enough.Ed.)