This made me Google Chubby Chris. Seems he died in 2013.

Liverpool and Chelsea.

When people get on a bus
Sit in the aisle seat and stick a bag on the window seat

What's wrong with that? The person doing it gets no one sitting next to him which is a bonus, especially on a bus. It's not their fault if people are too shy, scared, meek to ask him to move over. **** em.

Best not come out here then. The "invisible lights" as I like to call them give you the right amongst other things to go and have breakfast for half the morning (with obligatory brandy in the coffee) while double parked on a busy street or even better a zebra crossing.

Opening credits on tv shows that go on for about 10 minutes.

People who don't indicate while driving

People who say "iPhone" instead of phone.

Its just a ******* phone mate.

In a similar vein, TV shows made for an American audience that are designed to have ad breaks every 3 minutes. They spend most of the show recapping what's literally just happened for those that had forgotten. See Man vs Food or Kitchen Nightmares USA.

Bloody annoying and it happens now with UK shows, with the first 2 or 3 minutes telling you 'what's coming up'. Just get on with it we don't need spoilers or to reminded of what we've just seen 4 minutes before the f*cking break. Ironically I'm sure I've moaned about this already on this thread!

Cheap and easy way to make a 30 min program a 60 min program.
It's very annoying.

iPhone is a tad shorter to be fair.

The 'CPFC...CPFC...CPFC,CPFC,CPFC....' song/chant. This is NOT a dig at the HF as other clubs use their own versions and it's ok in small doses but ******* hell it gets tedious after the first 20 minutes.

as is 20 minutes of "ooooooow" and hand shaking before We Love You

It's got better recently, the tempo's picked up a bit

Hugh Laurie in recent years,his obnoxious House character,his dismal blues career and now his frequent voiceovers for ads.I used to like him in Fry and Laurie and Jeeves and Wooster

He was great as House.

Indeed, ignorant wankers.

Oo controversy corner. A slight annoyance at games for me has to be the occasional feckless member of catering staff. Its like some of them haven't added up since they left school.

Can work in our favour though - I got a bottle of carling for the price of a bottle of coke last season :lux:

Have to agree, v dull and even at the faster tempo it just feels like a filler.

:lux:

Probably my second most irritating thing at a match.

First of course being the five minutes it takes to produce a cup of tea at half time that is then so hot I have to wait till the injury time board goes up before making a move.

people who walk really slowly and erratically in busy areas while staring at their phones. Almost walked into 3 of them this morning alone.

If you are going to look at your phone, stand still and get out of the way of everyone else you twats.

People who don't check that they have successfully logged out of the toilet area. Every time it's a gamble as to whether you'll get a floater.

I like it, as I don't forget the words :p

:D

Alright, forget ******* phone.

Just call it a phone. :grrr:

Had this the other night at London Bridge. Train is called, through the barriers, straight into someone walking ridiculousy slowly as they're typing a message into their phone...... in less than a minute she could have been doing this sitting on the train out of harms way.

I have never driven a can in my life unless you count my Ford Focus :confused:

A small price to pay for scoring a goal though.

Football analysts/summarisers who haven't done any research(Gullit and Fowler already mentioned)also Tore Andre Flo,who talks in cliches and generalisations,offers very little.

Top Gear

Don't mind that at all after we've scored!

This This and This.

I just saw a 'businessman' with his suit jacket over his shoulders. I've not seen that since the posing 80s! Either take it off or wear it properly you stupid nobend. Obviously divorced long ago. Probably in the 80s.

Do you mean slung over one shoulder and one hand or Del boyish?

Just draped over his shoulders yes like Del Boy.

Very sad.

Having to pick up my daughter from guides at 9pm on a Friday night.*







* need a beer.

I like the song - but GET ON WITH IT! And why do you never hear 'ole ole ole ole Eagles' anymore? I tried to get it going several times at Villa and no one was having any of it.

I have to second you on that. And what makes it worse, is that most people sing the last letter so flat that I can't help wincing.....it is actually painful to listen to.

Cars that sit in the outside lane at traffic lights and then decide to indicate they are going to turn right as/after the latest lights go green.��

Tools who don't put gym equipment back in its rightful place.

People who try to start palace songs without running them past the HF conductor.......RUDE SO RUDE

Remember the other 80s style for jackets.....sleeves pushed up to the elbows was the norm on Miami Vice.

The shed?

Jim, who doesn't put his tools back in their rightful place.

Boris "bleeding obvious" Becker is a shambles on the tennis commentary.

Effing locking wheel nuts, great idea until the key shatters, and that only happens when you get a poxy flat and you try changing it on the hard shoulder on the m26 whilst its bloody freezing a pitch black. Thank god for the AA.

DJs.

Untalented twats who smugly steal real musicians limelight as if they are on an equal.

Mitchell feckin Johnson. Hate the **** with a passion.

Electric ******* toasters :veryangry:veryangry:veryangry:veryangry


I know everyone will already know that it's impossible to get the right timer setting, I understand that bit - first round the toaster's on a cold start, second round the toaster's already warmed up. Obvious they're going to come out different. But why do they NEVER toast both sides of the bread the same amount???

Australians who answer a question by starting the sentence with "Look"

The expression 'getting some game time'.

Playing, you mean?

Anyone who leaves the taps running in bathrooms in public places.............what is the point?

Adverts where saying two hundred and ninety nine pounds is too much, instead its 'get this sofa for two nine nine'

danni minogue or kate middleton arriving on my doorstep on their own.
What don't you get about "threesome?"

Drivers who leave their indicators on for miles.

How can you not notice a green flashing light right in front of you even without the noise it makes!

People looking their wallet or purse at a supermarket checkout when all of their shopping's packed away. You've probably been a queue for 10 minutes - get it ready then and don't waste my time.

Also getting to the checkout and finding the person in front of you being served knows the cashier , then enduring countless minutes hearing about various ailments, errant children, and are you watching Mr selfridge .

WeightWatchers desserts.

If you're watching your weight, don't have a dessert.

Mile is a big user of "look", especially in post match interviews...

Americans nicking the 's' off Maths and adding it to the end of Sport.


The word 'guy'. If you're British, any one of the following is acceptable:

Bloke
Fella
Chap
Geezer
Lad

It's never 'this guy' or 'a guy'. Everytime I hear it I feel like I'm in an episode of Friends. "This guy was like, totally rude."

Even worse is somebody addressing a group of people with "Hey guys, can I just grab your attention for a quick 5?"

Aussies can't help it. They all say it.

'Uni'. F*ck right off.
I'm glad they're charging you outrageous fees, you c*nt.....

When a student leaves 'uni' for the misery of unemployment, will they call it 'unem'?

Apparently about 98% of people under 25 or so annoy you then by saying 'uni'...

Sounds about right.

I think this one must be generational. Is that a word?

I find guy or guys completely acceptable.

Fella on the other hand is totally mockney and gets right up my nose particularly when used to address someone......alright fella? Piss off you Danny Dyer mockney wannabe!

Nothing personal dude....

Mark Saggers on Talksport. Just because you shout your point in a loud manner, does not mean that the point you are making is going to be taken any more seriously. Mainly because your point is non-sensical anyway.

Or dropping the H from herb so it becomes 'erb. Sorry but you're recommending what I should add to this chicken dish not skinning up some chronic with your homies on the project whilst listening to Run DMC

When the whole of Selhurst Park used to sing Eagles Eagles to Amazing Grace on a floodlit midweek game gave me goosebumps it was incredible.

And the New Yorker's habit of dropping the H from human so it becomes youman.

Yep completely agree. If anyone uses 'fella' or 'gezzer' it just sounds so unnatural and like you're trying to be someone you're not. (I should say not everyone sounds stupid saying these words, just the majority - i.e. mockneys).

Dropping toast on the floor buttered side up, making liars of us all.

Most of those Weight Watchers meals and soups are a con. They're basically half portions with the same calories as normal ready meals.

Getting to the checkout after 10 minutes and then another staff member comes over with some bags or something and stops for a chat with the cashier slagging off either their boss or another customer while you stand there waiting. I know your names Sandra and Jackie, next time I see the man in the cheap suit I'm grassing you see how you like that:D

Hmm i kinda hear you on this. It all started when Neighbours came to british tv in 1987 and Scott and Charlene (kylie) starting banging on about 'going to uni'. After that it's been well and truly at loose in the vocabulary.

The irony being everyone actually at 'uni' at the time would have been watching neighbours religiously every day - nobody else would have had the time for daytime TV.

Robert Webb is really annoying,a series of irritating ads,the latest for Post Office Money.Also his smug show,Great Movie Mistakes.

I think you're crediting Channel 10 script writers with an abbreviation that's been around a lot longer than you suggest.

I was way to stoned to turn the TV on, and everyone else in the house was face down in their own porridge.

No way were english kids saying uni before neighbours. Or maybe it was Home and Away, but Lance wasn't that type of kid.

Those were the days, Blockbusters, Going for Gold, Neighbours and trying to be arsed to write up some boring Phys. Chem experimental data in between.

Uni, footie and dobbing all came from those shows.

Going for Gold :) Funniest thing was the foreigners (who had to translate each question first before answering) often beat the British contestants.

Blockbusters -loved the Baker Street rumour.

That ******* theme tune will annoy someone :D

In those days you knew you were really lazing around it you watched Neighbours twice in the day !

:D

What about that glorious "dance" routine that the student audience did to the theme tune ?

:D

1.35 and 5.35 iirc

:lux::lux::lux:

Passwords
I have about 60 of the ****ers how are you supposed to remember them all especially when different companies have different rules. Uppercase, lowercase, numbers, symbols no bloody consistency. Oh and my bastard company changes ours every 60 days and they have to be over 12 digits long

Christopher Biggins and his constant over the top fake joviality, when (according to a family member who knows him) he can be a surly, obnoxious prat as soon as the cameras are off.

I was referring more in the sense of "there was a fella/bloke/lad in the pub last night..." way of talking rather than greeting someone with it.

Lastpass

I had just finished watching Neighbours when footage appeared on the TV of a plane smashing into one of the Twin Towers. Then spent the next few hours sat there glued to it. Completely took my mind off Mrs Mangle's chlamydia scare after her one night stand with Bouncer.

Whacky stickers on cars.

"The closer you get, the slower I go"

YOU SHOULD NOT BE DRIVING

I've always thought he'd be the next one up on a nonce charge. I saw that fat bastard walking past me outside the record shop near Joe Bananas once (Our Price Records?), good job I didn't have Tourette's in those days.

Biggins was in a 70's porn film called the Sex Thief, I have seen the hardcore copy, it featured Diane Keen sticking her little finger up Gareth Hunt's arse. It seems you can only download the softcore version now :(

Clubs that employ sad ***** to sit behind the goal and wave big **** off flags when their team scores. Arsenal, Chelsea and... Bolton. Why???

The record shop was H and R Cloake and Biggins is a horrible little man

Neil Danns. Was looking forward not to seeing the scousers back in SE25