If it was indoors I would have shot them.
Anyone wearing sunglasses inside doesn’t deserve to live.

It's not often that Timmy is correct (qv Carle, N) but he is today.

Yeah, that Stevie Wonder...what a ****.

What about prescription photochromatic spectacles, you monster?

Yeh. I've got these. Just come in from a walk and everything looked dark indoors. Nobody shot me though.

They may have, with a silencer, and missed, but you couldn't see them!

I just purchased a grammar checker as I was called a Luddite(about time) but found it was in American funds Grrr I told my wife this, and she said oh I just purchased a wine bottle leather cover for when we go out that is hand made, and costs 180 bucks so we are equal ???????WTF ??

Is that to drink wine in the park?

You live in a country where you measure outside temperature in Celsius but cooking temperature in Fahrenheit, you measure length in metres but height in feet, you weigh foodstuffs kilos but people in pounds, and where they speak English like an American, write like an Englishman and include French words just because.

There are so so so many things to find annoying in Canada I am a little surprised you find your wife exploiting a situation is all that annoying.

:)

Apparently you either haven't installed the grammar checker yet, or it doesn't work on the BBS... :rolleyes:

Grammar check: The length...Or lengths.

Oh :D

We do have poutine with bacon?

Oh piss off lol

Anyway, I may have posted this one before.

Why do they have to show people getting the actual vaccine jab in glorious technicolor HD close up on the news all the time? A) I know what getting a jab looks like, and B) if I wanted to see what it looked like to get one I would watch when they did mine... which I just can't bring myself to do. Same as giving blood, I always have to look away. Do what you like to me, but don't let me see you doing it.

Seeing them give the jab on TV makes me cringe!

Could be right as the lockdown could last a lot longer as we have to tap into third would countries supplies of the vaccine because of the EU and the drug companies.

What possible reason do blindos have to wear glasses of any type?

Cosmetic.

You are a very restrained kinda guy. :supergrin:

If it was Alan Mullery, I would think that would be acceptable.

Is Stavros a bit of a swarthy type, though? The north european gene pool has more sensitive eyes to sunlight.

As I have light gray/green/blue eyes I can attest to that.

Also as you get older your pupils are slower to constrict in light and dilate in the dark. Plus I think having cataract surgery can cause an increase sensitivity to light.

I know I never go far without my sunglasses, and they are either on, or on top of my head, which I'm sure would equally annoy Stavros!

Blimey - how many eyes do you have?

Two at the front, one in the back of my head! Well I know my wife does!

Just the two, but my eyes appear to be a different colour depending on surroundings or clothes I'm wearing. I think it says Grey on my drivers License.

My American VP of sales thinking that Ramadan was “just a day off” He’s a good guy but just shows how insular the USA can be.

Pfffft. Everyone knows it's a "just a month off".

Local Chinese takeaway taking all pork dishes off the menu.

Pesky Jews.

That is the most annoying thing on this thread if true.

Curry showed up, one free papadum.
WTF is the point in that!!

Washing up. It never seems to end

Absolutely true. All replaced with lamb.

My wife ordered 3x very small and cheap tea lights (candles that run on LED light with batteries). Things are crap, and probably cost about $1 to make tops, but sell for $4.99.

Anyway one does work so I contacted the company to get a replacement. The ****ers want me to send them a video of it not working!

Isn't there an old saying about not being able to prove a negative?

I don't know why, but this really annoys me. What happened to the customers always right?

If it's one more to go with the others you ordered, then its a nice little bonus? If its one on its own because you didn't order any then there's bigger issues to deal with. :p

About 20% of curry houses seem to do that... odd.

At that point in time there was nothing bigger in my life.

Joe Wilkinson. We get 8 out of 10 cats does countdown. The shows are quite old but pretty amusing. But this bloke just ain't funny. Am I missing something. Also Johhny Vegas, words fail me.

I like Joe Wilkinson - maybe it is also the reactions of those around him, but I think this poem from about 1.10 onwards is one of the funniest things I've seen on television for a long while - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YstBl9xzz34

'VP of sales'?

Another one I may have done before... Cling Wrap/Plastic Wrap.

Doesn't stick to anything but itself - useless!

Next to 'Colour of remaining hair:'

Do you just have rompa stompa in that line?

I bet yours says 'dreamy.'

It would if it was current... but they keep renewing it without change.

Currently says "BLN" which I can only assume is short for blonde. Where that comes from I don't know.... maybe from my 1980's Duran Duran phase!

And just to let you know, I have lost many faculties, but hair miraculously is not one of them!

Oh, and it's "color" BTW! :rolleyes:


Eyes says: GRY...

Or Turkish.

Why? What have I missed?

Was the delivery driver wearing sunglasses?

Coward didn’t hang around.

I'm with you mate, what's happening? Or is it just a Camden thing?
I thought Liz Truss was sorting all of this out?

So what's in th sweet and sour pork now then, alsatian?

Michael Portillo, Lucy Worsley, Lineker, Andi Peters (bonus point for spelling his first name with an 'i') TFL staff who wear PP masks under their chin and Mary Portas being described as a retail guru — all deeply irritating IMHO.

The term "quarterback" used in English football!

People who complain about the quantity/quality of free stuff

Are you talking about Pornhub?

Sweet and sour chicken.

The only conclusion I can come to is that all the staff, and possibly a new owner, are Malaysian or Indonesian Muslims, rather than Hong Kong Chinese.

Turning the tap on to run a bath and not realising the valve is still on shower mode, therefore getting a wet head instead.

I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve done this, yet I still don’t check beforehand.

Without meaning to sound as racialist as Sir.S.C Remembered I find it odd that Johnny Muzzy is generally absolutely fine serving booze but swine is a big no-no.

Well, that not true, is it?

When I shop, I've not come across a Muslim cashier that has refused to scan through my pork chops or Jack Daniels.

I meant curry houses/"Indian" restaurants, but that wasn't clear as I am a div.

edit - I have also known many mahometans who drank and drugged and fornicated as much as any infidel (although generally not in Ramadan) but foreswore pig products

Where the hell have you heard that?! :eek:

Scanning bottles through a till or serving them in a restaurant a little different to cooking them, touching and cutting the flesh of a meat that is not considered clean. Having said that I would be looking for a different Chinese takeaway.

what an idiotic thing to get annoyed about:D

To be fair most of the things on this thread are.

It is exactly why it is a great thread.

True and i was wearing my sunglasses today too:cool:

:D

CPFC today!

I am.

Er, why not ask?

Richard Madeley- his personality and his hair.

Sun not making an appearance today. The wife decided no barbecue.

On the plus side she said we should have it tomorrow, that stops us having to do daft St Valentine's things..

For a second I hoped you meant that vile publication had finally gone after coarsening and brutalising britain for 50 years

You are obviously an utter mental, but that is an excellent use of the word "coarsening".

Did you have a seeing eye dog?

I did. Guy shrugged and said 'new menu', so I'm none the wiser.

'Grammarly' for goons that jerked around at school too much :clown:

Amanda Holden

Poor Les.

I was onto him long before Alan Partridge became big and people started making the comparisons. I remember an early Richard and Judy show when they had a phone-in discussion on domestic abuse. They had a preamble chat on the subject with an expert, then it was time to go to those who’d called in with their experiences.

Richard: Right! Let’s kick in the first caller...

This is also my tactic except i drag the kid into it for extra insurance: "So lad, do you think Roy Hodgson will start the new lad up top in TOMORROW'S GAME WHICH STARTS AT 3PM?"

He's 21 months so looks at me blankly and she rolls her eyes but it doesn't matter. I know my work is done.

Have I or anyone else mentioned the ASDA advertisement?

It’s getting harder to avoid the loathsome failed restaurateur, “Gurning” Gregg Wallace. Naturally only the dangerously simple would watch any of his programmes, but because he has so many going on at the moment, it’s tough to avoid the trailers.

First time I visited Hong Kong, which was a one day stopover on the way to Australia, I was determined to try and eat "local" rather than the much easier temptation to go the fast food route. So I walked around for a bit, and finally found a restaurant that was full of locals. I ordered sweet and sour chicken from the menu which they duly delivered - it looked good, and it was no problem for me that there were only chopsticks on the table, not a fork - I wouldn't say I'm totally proficient with them, but can certainly cope ok. Or so I thought... The buggers had put carrots in the dish which they'd kindly cut into small pyramid shapes, I'm sure just t test me. Try grabbing triangular, slippery carrots with chopsticks. I felt like I should have sensed the waiters watching from the side with a grin while the foreigner in their midst attempted the almost impossible. I believe it's considered the height of rudeness to stab food with chopsticks. They're not exactly sharp, and nor were the carrot pieces big enough to have survived that approach anyway, so I ended up having to scoot them over to the side, and leaning one against another until one was at an angle for me to get underneath it, before balancing one bit at a time on the two sticks now held together raft-like, and hope it didn't fall off between plate and mouth.

When I went to China I had read beforehand that bringing the bowl up to your mouth and shovelling the food in is not considered bad manners. Hence when I went off piste and had some noodles and tsing Tao in a little road side place the locals were very impressed with my chopstick skills.

People who say 'I think I can speak on behalf of everyone when I say.....'

Unless it's a foreperson in a jury...

First time I visited Hong Kong Mrs KM remarked on how many chinese restaurants there were.:rolleyes:

The big difference that struck me in HK/chinese was that every chicken dish has the bones left in. When a colleague asked our host why this was (an odd question to ask I thought) his answer was ‘we like bones’ :) and he proceeded to suck on the chicken bones.

Had 1000 year old egg (not literally 1000 but it is one that’s buried and left as part of the process) and snake soup while there. All good actually. The worst stuff is one of the early courses often served that is akin to eating a lump of firm lard. Only realised that even the locals were giving that a miss after I had taken a mouthful. Gross. Everything else pretty yummy but watch the bones,

:supergrin:

The reason is to prove it is what they say it is. Same as why the head and feet are also left on. They use the expression "Have you had your lunch yet?" the same way we use "How are you?". I lived in Singapore for 2 years, on my first few weeks I did have a few cultural clashes by saying no :-) I also was on my first business lunch, picked up a piece of chicken and to my horror had a bone in my mouth. I tried to act nonchalant and as soon as my guest looked the other way popped it out and hid it under the corner of my plate. It was with fascination that I saw him pick up a piece. The anticipation of what he would do was high. PHTHHHT the bone shot out his mouth and across the table with not a care in the world. By the end of the meal they were scattered everywhere. That's also why they have paper table covers for easy disposal. By the time i left I could spit them as accurately as a local.

No, Dachshunds aren't good for that type of thing. but the sun was bright and low in the sky hence the need for sunnies.

:D

I would be fine in a normal season when we are on telly once every two months, but twice a week raises her eyebrows.

Not so much as annoys me, more bemuses me - footballers who, having scored, give it the biggun to imaginary fans...

I have to say that I didn't find the hairy crab to be as exceptional as my local hosts insisted it was.

Why don't you use apple sauce, like anyone else ?

I think Martin H was referring to food.

Boom tish........ :)

Went on one of the ferries to a well known fish’s restaurant on one of the islands and tbh had very little idea what we were eating but some of the scariest looking crabs and various crustaceans that looked like something out of alien were being carried into the kitchen. One of them was held up matching head to foot of the guy with spikes and legs everywhere. Guy had a big grin on his face as if he was so proud, while we wondering where we could hide if he let the thing go..... western wimps extraordinaire.

That might depend upon the verdict and if it's you in the dock....

People who don't always say hello. Ignorant rude c*nts and then I end up feeling guilty when I eventually stoop to their level and blank them just as they say hello to me.

Hello :hi:

Who is this guy?