You had ne at Joggers/runners.... must get oxygen starvation to the brain.

Unfortunately I've been the one with the suitcase... Never again. I'll play the taxi/hire car rather than do that again.

Busses on motorways In the middle lane with a max speed of 52mph

Motorways

Dog shit

Ed Sheeran, yes yes your ginger and were homeless. Now you're still ginger and ******* irritating. I actually can't stand the smug twat.

Knobheads on the road outside my house hooting at the driver in front for having the temerity to stop in a traffic jam

Not even going near that grime album he did as I know it'll irritate the shit out of me

Unless you have 2 keys.

Summerhouses are a scandanavian tradition, its great to have the option to piss off to the summerhouse for a weekend or during holiday times.

Or just put any other card in. It doesn't have to be a key card. Your Tesco clubcard will do. :p

why wouldn't you take your phone with you, when you go out?

Some people arne't glued to their phone, espcially on holiday.

They're not much use unless they're charged ;)

I didn't know Ed Sheeran was once homeless. That's really awful.

It's kind of worse when you consider he's middle class.

God they were out in force this morning.

90% of them totally oblivious of their surroundings.

The fact that Emma Willis is anyway famous
Kate Moss - enough said
Eleanor Hawkins - enough said
Most boob jobs
A majority of Tattoos
Botox
Sunbed tans

I meant the glorified sheds people have at the bottom of the garden.

My family has a summerhouse, but every man needs a shed.

I totally agree about the train door bit, especially the newer trains on Thameslink and Southern which have AUTOMATIC doors. If people can bear to tear themselves away from their mobiles for a second they will see a sign in front of them plastered on the doors saying AUTOMATIC DOORS !

That's my rant for the day!:grrr:

People who pronounce the Copa in Copa America as coh-per. It's pronounced copp-a FFS.

Adobe Flash Player that every 2 weeks wants me to upgrade... and when I do it, I see nothing different. (I'm not sure I even use it to be honest)

I have the same issue at work with Java. Asks me to update, but I can't because I don't have administrator access, so I say "no" but it asks me every day... I talked to IT, but they were not very sympathetic.

The BBS when it does double post at this time of night!

And no Dave I don't hit submit more than one time! :p

Rugby fans

People who put their shopping on the conveyor belt in supermarkets and wander off to get more stuff

Canadians. Are they the most boring nation of bar bores on earth ?

The bloke that sits behind me who has been going for years who continually gets our own players names wrong. Not so long ago he was berating "ameobi's"'performance when Sanogo was actually on the pitch:D

Even though Sanogo gets significantly more game time, they've both contributed the exact same amount to the team's cause, so it's very easy to get confused about it all

I agree but this bloke recently complained how Puncheon had been anonymous in the first half and played ok in 2nd. Thing was he was a 2nd half sub

People who don't pack and scan when using self service check outs!

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

Soap dodgers on public transport.

People who leave it until the last second to leave their seat on a busy train when they reach their stop.

People who insist on reading a book whilst walking through London during rush hour.

Both wankers.

Thronecast esp Sue Perkins (normally don't mind her too much but my God she grates in this)

Game of Thrones fans.

So almost everyone?

Hipsters

Inadequate trolls, yes Matt Himself I'm looking at you

Old drivers who hit the accelerator on impact with a stationary object!

They should be driving manuals IMO.... probably solve half the issues.

Few years back I was sitting in a line of traffic waiting for the lights to change. Looked to my right to see a car leaving a parking space across the road coming straight for me. Tried to pull forward to try and avoid it , but no dice stationary traffic. Any way the old dear had managed to get her foot stuck on the accelerator . As for driving manuals Ozz perish the thought , Don't think they could coordinate and look where they are going, And this aint an age rant as I am older than you mate.

So two lanes on the road are going into one.
I get annoyed at other car drivers who get the hump if I drive down empty lane and then cut in the busy lane as I get to the hazard.
Merge in turn you b*st@rd$. Merge in turn.

Spitting in public. Disgusting.

So you don't like it when people get annoyed that you queue jump?

Speaking of queue jumping......I do it every morning on the Brighton Road. The bus lane is in operation from 4pm - 7pm yet every morning everybody is sitting in a great big long queue.

I love it as I sail down the bus lane getting accusing looks.

Pillocks.

Again this morning, women sitting in the aisle seat with their legs out into the aisle.
Bag on the inside. Sits down for one stop and then gets up half way inbetween stops to get to the front door.

arrhhhh

I'm with you on that one. Especially the swaggering attitude problem spitters.

Yeah I've done that. I'm surprised that bus lane isn't full time as it only gets parked on at the weekend and f*cks everything up. Meanwhile the buses take half hour to get in to Croydon.

:rolleyes: late night tv scheduling. Time and time again a decent film starting at 11.40 or later is preceded by repeats in one or two cases repeat quiz shows. Bloody hell if you have seen it you know the bloody answers. Tonight after working you may want to watch Ascot highlights. Oh but before that we have repeat Gogglebox. A repeat of people watching what we have already seen then an hour of chaps who like to don rubber suits and look like women. If you can manage that you get to see Ascot at 12 bloody 40. Who he's these scheduling jobs. They should be made to watch Gogglebox for a fortnight.

Pikey ******* seagulls who steal your half eaten mayo chicken out of your hand :grrr:

Touch ID on my phone has broken. Cannot be fixed. It's only been two days but it is massively annoying having to put a password in each time you want to use the sodding thing.

Will have to see how much apple want for a replacement, not sure I can hold out until the new one comes out.

Seagulls of all races - have had scaffolding up for a month because they kept attacking the bricklayers re-pointing the chimney stack, so a one day job turned into a month

Probably a nest nearby. You have to question the mentality of a club that would make them a club nickname. Bastard made me jump though, I was just about to take another bite.

Urban seagulls. Currently blighted by them in zone 3.

This was a Dundee seagull. These buggers don't mess about.

Virgin Pissing Media sending me the same piece of junk mail five times in about a three month spell, disguised to look like something actually potentially important. The first three times it was an A4 size envelope with a fair amount of weight to it, that must have cost a bit to post as well.

For any company to send that much old-fashioned unsolicited junk mail in 2015 comes across as pretty desperate, but for a company promising superfast digital communications it is downright embarrassing. Sort it out Branson you hairy tosspot.

Bump

Set the pass code to numerical to make it quick, then set it to not ask for a passcode within 5 minutes (or more if you want) of last use. Saves a lot of hassle.

We had free blood test/health check at work today.

Woman I work with is the same age (well 2 months older actually), smoked all her life, eats whatever she wants, is slightly over weight, and whose idea of exercise is walking to the car.

Me... watch what I eat, not smoked for 13 years, ride my bike a lot, walk a lot, drink only wine these days.

Comparing results:

Her blood pressure was better, her Glucose lower, her cholesterol better, her triglycerides lower.

Now that's ******* annoying!

And the ******* BBS double posting!

"To prove you are a real person please type the characters from the image above"

You are then presented with something unreadable.

I could be wrong here, but I'm sure I read somewhere that they can't put the new Palace badge on because of copyright or something like that

If it's only a few days old, you'll still be under warranty, so just take it to an Apple store and they should replace it for you free of charge.

Feck me, you've hit the nail on the head!

I've used a magnifying glass to do a Sherlock Holmes and still the answer is wrong.

THE most annoying thing I can think of.

The handlebar Victoriana 'hipster' beards with smartphones

You mean like Joe Ledley's?

Call them and they will stop

My wife waking me up at 4.30 am to tell me she can't sleep. She's fast a sleep now and I'm posting on here,

Ditto. Now is the best time to burn the toast i've found.

He doesn't have the extra handlebars

On that note, beards in general. Mostly because I can't grow one :(

People on Facebook wishing their dad's a happy father's day.

Their dad's not even on Facebook, just give the old boy a call.

And putting Rip at the end of it. Wtf is that all about ?

Receiving a card from your son which says DAD -amazing,brilliant,funny,clever,unique............. .......no wonder you're so proud of me!! Dave

It's well over two days old, and out of warranty. It was the Touch ID that had been broken for two days.

I've never heard of a 'slapface' before. Or maybe you're 11. :)

Well its not that I can't grow any facial hair, it's just that it doesn't "connect" via my chin and so all I can grow are terrible looking mutton chops :sob:

Or maybe I'm just 11 :p

The only fully grown man I've ever met who can't grow a single facial hair is one of the line managers at the selhurst sainsburys (and, coincidentally, a complete c*nt. Everyone wants to slap his face, that's for sure.)

Being miles away from a shop with oyster facilities, not having any in your card so have to walk, in forest Hill ffs, shit city Boris can suckle on bitty.

Stuart Pearce's accent, it's becoming a parody of itself. He's sounding more and more like Dick Van Dyck every time I hear him. I lived in London most of my life and I never heard anyone strangle vowels the way Pearce does.

Been mentioned on here before but .... bluebottles.

They can find their way in through the smallest of openings but cannot seem to navigate themselves out again without headbutting every unopened window this despite having a 24ft sq ft open patio door to escape through.

MOTHER ****ERS!

Hi, I'm not easily annoyed by people around me except the ones that chew gums , snap and pop it for no reasons at all. I don't know why but it just distract me:))

American golf fans who shout "in the hole". C****.

Particularly, although not restricted to, those who shout it after a tee shot on a par five.

Wankers. Absolute f****** wankers.

Still Timbo.

Slugs and Snails in the garden .

Bet Victor adverts
Foreign 'celebs' who say 'for sure' instead of a simple 'yes'.

It's funny to say it in an Arnold Swarzenegger accent though - I'll be back, for sure :)

'I'm a perfectionist'

Gutted.

When people use my stuff without asking and don't bother cleaning up after. It's not hard to just ask ffs

Try and get him to say Merry Puppins . The true test of Dick Van Dyckness:D

Having a wallet full of receipts, apart from the only one you actually need.

That life insurance ad with the two old geezers in a pub playing darts. One throws a shit shot and the other says it would have been better if Charlie was still around. Turns out it's not a coke euphemism but a tenuous reference to their dead mate, whose photo is suspiciously close to the board. A bit later, after their pints of vodka and orange juice, one grabs the other and shouts 'I'LL GIVE THEM A CALL!'

'Who? Get off me!'

Those begging adverts pleading for contributions for animal welfare.
"Only £2 a month to sponsor a bluebottle"
How much money goes to paying for the adverts compared to giving the creatures a home?

Websites / apps etc going landscape when you want them portrait (or whichever way round it is).

And upside down plugs, where the single pin is at the cable end.

http://image.made-in-china.com/2f0j0...ass-Bottle.jpg

C*nts.

Well I had a call from WWF asking to increase our monthly direct debit to help save some other animal (we sponsored a snow leopard & tiger as Christmas presents for the girls last year) - it took 5 minutes of spiel before I finally managed to convince him I couldn't commit to any increase, but as part of his 'closing statement' he said that he was obliged to tell me that he worked for a professional fundraising company who had been paid £204,000 :eek: by WWF for this campaign, but that they estimated it would raise an extra £1.6m over the next 4 years - I'm not convinced that it was a good use of funds!

transfer rumours, especially ones involving our players

People who eat with there mouth open:veryangry
Tossers in the outside lane with 3 free one's to the left:veryangry

People that don't know the correct use of their , there. they're. People who don't use plurals and apostrophes properly ;)

Adverts within 10 minutes of the beginning and end of a programme.

People who are grammar Nazi's yet have the username cantspell.

This really does get to me, I'd rather have longer adverts at the end or something! you just get into something the suddenly you have 5 minutes of crap. If anything the adverts are so bad that they actually make me avoid the bloody product.

When the Red Cross did this to me twice in a week I stopped the original direct debit, I no longer give to any of the big charities