Which one?

If GB aren’t involved I support anyone but USA, ROC or China.
Today annoying me is the amount of people on trams without masks

:lux:

Nihal on the Olympic highlight show.

He is an appalling presenter.

Don't be ridiculous. If there's enough space for two cars, sometimes more, the other side of a junction and the car in front moves on, you're telling me it is unreasonable to expect that car not to leave a space the size of the Titanic ahead of it?
It's called being considerate.
Do you still drive with a bloke carrying a red flag in front of you?

Mom…
Unless you’re from US it’s mum.

A traffic warden gave someone parked like that a ticket in Beckenham car park above Sainsbury's

If you're parked over the parking bay lines at all in our street you're likely to get a ticket.

Medical dramas that have the patient suddenly having some kind of crisis, either lights and sirens going off or blood spurting out from random body parts if the budget is big enough. Required at least once per episode.

Someone has already mentioned it, but LinkedIn is bloody awful.

Today's annoying posts:

1. Baroness Michelle Mone: "When I was 19 I got a job at a beer company. I was an admin girl and set myself the goal of being the number 1 in the company within 3 years. I managed it in 18 months and became the Director of the Scottish branch. My secret wasn't luck, I just set a goal and worked hard"

2. Some person with absolutely no connection to Marcus Rashford posting up pictures of him and giving details of how he's given up 125% of his net worth to charity as though she was the one who achieved it.

These are by far not the worst things you will read on LinkedIn. I look forward to telling you about the next person who gives a homeless person (with zero qualifications or experience) a job as an executive director because of the way they go about procuring heroin.

I saw an embedded YouTube link and watched it, before realising it was GB News - first time I've seen it, without it being Nigel F*rage. :grrr:

Great example of 'whataboutery' talking about vaccine passports. :veryangry I want two minutes of my life back, please!

He is brilliant on the radio

Linkedin is a great shout. There’s more bollocks posted there than the BBS!

I suppose, that if you watch medical dramas there is a possibility that you will witness medical dramas.

Medical dramas I sort of get. It's the hospital reality shows that do my head in. Who the F**k wants to watch that?

He does a daily Olympic piece which seems to be some dumb downed narrative to what bbc sees as appealing to the masses. Yesterday., during that piece he used the word cringe, which rather accurately summarised his piece.

Clothes shops here not allowing customers to use the changing rooms for some daft covid reason.

It was in the Mall, so I told the bloke I would buy the item and go down to the public lavs and try it on there. If it didn't fit I could come back and he could give me the next size and I wouldn't have to drive home to try the ******* things on and then potentially drive back if they didn't fit.
The look on his face! Like I was suggesting I was going to wipe my arse with them whilst I was in the lav. "no no" I couldn't do that. Watch me you total twat, you have to take a return if I bring it back regardless of where I try the ******* things on.

Are you a bit porky pie then?
Otherwise medium in anything is normally ok.

12 months of working from home and not being able to go out for most of that has resulted in a larger waist line than I'm used to seeing, yes.

which in itself is a somewhat annoying too

I’ve said it before but people who reply to a question with “yeah, no”, Gareth, I’m looking at you.
Another one is not knowing the difference between “bought” and “brought”.

Perhaps worse than both is the expression “ I’ve got your back”. Said by thick people to other thick people. It makes no sense at all.

Not in Latin countries where sizing can be all over the place depending on where you shop.

Try the Very Fast 800. It’s like 5:2 without the five, so more 0:7, but the results are astonishing.

SKY SPORTS NEWS . . . do we really need the PL transfer window coundown to 100th of a second?

"There's a LITTLE OVER 4 WEEKS left of the transfer window"

Shut up!!

The cost of car spares....327 euro for a ******* alternator!

I wish Pete. Waited it out till 5:10, at which point he turns to me and says "come on Joe, let’s go home"

I know it's been said many times but shop workers who don't acknowledge you at checkouts and just carry on their inane chatter with their colleagues. Not so much the customer is king, more like you are an insignificant piece of dirt on their shoe.

So you live with him? :rolleyes:

Just unload your purchases and when they finally acknowledge you, piss off and leave them to it.

My local Co-op has issued headsets to all their staff and they seem to spend most of the time gabbing away to each other. I do apologise for interrupting their giggling and laughing to ask where something is.

When players model the new kits and have to wear their wanky boots that don't match anything or the other players in the shoot... plus wear the socks at all different places (above knee etc.).

I understand game time, but for the photo shoot can they not be a bit coordinated?

(Old farts annoyance - I know)

Medium UK is either large or extra large in Chile.

I am not a big bloke (and CT and I are the same size) and my coats, jackets and sweaters are at least L, often XL.

We can often get near perfect clothes second hand in something called ROPA AMERICANA. Basically, Chileans conning people in the USA that they
should send good quality unwanted clothes to help the poor out in the 'third world'. Then shop owners run a nice little business out of it when the clothes arrive.

A lot of the stuff is too big for many Chileans, especially trouser leg length. Suits the likes of us out, though. Decent jeans, chinos and the like for a fiver or tenner
a pop.

Come and live in the country. Walking the dogs to and fro from the village, and garden work means I am slimmer than I have been since my early 20s.

TBF Beer consumption is down, but barbecue consumption is high.

Sounds like that, doesn’t it? We’re besties at the mo. Let’s see if that changes again on Fri.

People claiming to be ‘blessed’. The dictionary definition is ‘endowed with divine favour and protection’ or ‘made holy; consecrated’.

Do all these people really believe they are touched by God? Or are they simply touched?

Do you bump into many of these people?

The Co op
We live in a smallish town and our main supermarket is a Co.op. its expensive, badly stockrd, the staff treat it like so little club and make you feel you should be grateful tjhey let you in. Again if one of them does bother going on the till they are chatting on.the stupid headset to the one whose job it seems is to just stand about. I hate it and now we drive a couple of miles to shop elsewhere which also annoys me.

chinos...:supergrin::supergrin::supergrin:

This explains how Pete maintains his Man from Del Monte chic.

I used to run that campaign. It ran in every European country except the Netherlands, where the commercials bombed because Dutch viewers were completely convinced (God knows why only the Dutch) that the Man was an escaped Nazi war criminal.

No, I select my acquaintances carefully but I can’t stop such people popping up in news reports, sports events, media interviews etc.

Perhaps they'd been watching too much Indiana Jones.

https://www.gannett-cdn.com/presto/2....jpg?width=750

yep
https://www.looper.com/img/gallery/i...618599726.webp

Been trying to get the boxing up on the red button only to realise I’ve been clicking on the Japanese flag for five minutes

The man from Del Monte he say ‘no I’m not a Nazi’

.

I fell asleep eating a pizza in bed watching a film around 3 or so months back, and thought no more of it, woke up, cleared the box away and went about my day. Months later when i woke up this morning i accidentally knocked both pillows off the bed whilst stretching and noticed a slice of that pizza stuck to the pillow. So a busy day of taking off the bed-sheets and washing them in the hope the tomato and cheese stains aren't permanent. Fortunately, most of the tuna and other toppings I was able to pick off before I put them in the machine. That will teach me to eat messy foods in bed again.

You haven't washed your bedsheets or tidied up your room for 3 months? are you a student?

You filthy beast.

Thank you Matthew. I had Julian Glover in my head but his clothes weren't quite right.

How did that slice of pizza taste after 3 months stuck to your pillow?

I didn't eat it, though it still looked exactly the same - no mould or signs of age. The only issue was the smell of tuna and the other seafood toppings, which I had originally just put down to excess perspiring around the genitals due to the heatwave, or perhaps an infection.

MSR :D

You filthy disgusting animal


Who puts tuna on a pizza

I take it you're a bachelor?

To be fair when I first lived on my own, I didn't have a clue about washing sheets and things, and probably didn't for at least the first 6 months or so.

A three month interval between washing your linen. And only then done by accident. Which lucky soul gets to sit next to you at Selhurst Park?

Oh my God

Cupid i love your art but your last few posts have really left me speechless

How very Hedgehog of you.

"Show me on the teddy where God touched you"

They do have a point though...

The Boys from Brazil
https://www.denofgeek.com/wp-content...size=768%2C432

Man from Del Monte
https://retromash.com/wp-content/upl...44-960x977.png

All he's done is have a hat.

Along the same lines, any ****wit that can only resort to "I just know" when asked for reasonable proof of their religion.

There is none, and it's all bullshit. Just accept you die and that's the end of it, or show me your facts to convince me otherwise. Got none? Oh dear...

Well at least you didn't sleep wank and end up with a pizza sheath....

Very common saying in the U.S and not just by the intellectually challenged. Basically it's used to tell someone that they've got your support. Example: If two lads are having a fair go tear up, a friend might tell his mate that "he has his back' In other words he won't allow a third party to jump in and attack his friend from behind.

I've got a mate who kept a Big Mac as a pet for a year. It hardly changed at all in that time. Take A Break magazine wanted to do a bit on it but that was vetoed by his wife, despite the offer of £250.

In short: you missed a trick!

Courtesy of Viz's Profanisaurus:

bedroom popadoms: n. Large, dried wankerchiefs. Porn crackers, wankers' crisps.

Who was it that first started to call the NHS "our NHS"? Surely it's "the" NHS. It's now embedded and I am convinced it's all part of some sinister plot, although can't quite get my head around it. Makes my toes curl every time I hear it.

FFS Don't encourage him.

Eh, eh, eh... (What is this "red button" they speak of?)

P.S. Am I becoming a verb now?

As they used to say, "if you can't fight - buy a hat.' For some strange reason people seem to think that if a fella walks into a saloon with a hat he can have a row.

Quite possibly, but Maidstoned was using your name more as an adjectival noun.

Probably… couldn't quite decide what it was, but adjective noun was not on the list!

Tea spat. :D:D:D:

As long as he doesn't use it as a colon.

Big chunks of tomato in a ruby.

Taxi drivers who haven't switched their 'available' light off, and drive past with a passenger inside.

Taxi drivers who spend a year complaining about loss of income during the pandemic, and a few years about Uber, not being anywhere to be seen at 10.30pm on a Friday night in a capital city.

Daily mail readers (family). I really don’t want to talk about how ‘woke’ everything is and how Christmas is being cancelled because of dem immigants. That paper seriously rots your brain. Why go through life being so hate filled?

Says the person slagging off a newspapers readership. You must be do full of hate that you waste your time slating anyone.

It's a slippery slope if you only want people to think the way you do.


I think the Nazis tried that once.

I can’t work out if they are already hate filled bigots and therefore attracted to the paper or if the paper makes them hate filled bigots. Either way I don’t want DM talking points foisted upon me at dinner.

Oh I know, the DM supported them didn’t they? Always on the right side of history it seems! :wallbash:

Anyway it appears this thread has been thoroughly godwinned

People who use the term "godwinned" :D

When a day after receiving something from Amazon they send you an email asking you to rate it.

Not sure how you rate anything after one day, let alone an inanimate object like a replacement cap for the refrigerator water filter.

Spot the DM reader......

There seems to have been a massive hike in prices for pay and display street parking in Croydon since I last went. At least for nearly a 5er the might extend the time allowed beyond 2 hours. For "out of towners" driving in for the football this is a real pain

Bankrupt council, innit.

JFK baggage handling.
Even with reduced flights and reduced passengers JFK baggage handling still maintaining their world beating incompetence.
Been waiting 1.5hrs for the bags from our flight... so far

Businesses prioritising delivery apps again.

Just went to get a coffee a maybbe a basket of fast food. Standing at the cashier desk like a lemon as the only order taking person was sifting through orders coming in on a tablet.

I asked him when it was going to be my turn as I was standing in front of him. He continue to wilfully ignore me.

I gave him a quick lecture abbout customer service and getting their prorities right, and walked off.

That sucks... sounds pretty stressful. Hope it's all sorted by now.

I assume you have/had been stood there watching the carousel go round and round with nothing on it but a solitary unclaimed bag from a previous flight!

Just went to a stationary store to get a Pocket Folder (don't ask). I just need one, and one cost $2.99.

I could also get a packet of 5 with cost $5.99... I have absolutely now need for 5 and would never use them all in my lifetime.

I was tempted though... but was annoyed that one cost half as much as getting five.

What would the mighty BBS have done with such a conundrum?

I had the same with ebay. They asked me for a rating on my purchase of washing machine hose washers.

I told them I had faced some challenges in my life, but nothing compared to finding the words to rate washing machine hose washers.

People who sit around talking about their mortgage renewal and interest rate. It’s a sad humble brag and so boring. Almost as bad as the ‘accidental’ landlords complaining about their ‘scummy’ tenants.

I need to find new acquaintances

Yep, that's a good one.

I can understand a binary response, i.e. Did the item work for you? Yes/No

How can you rate it from 1 to 5 stars?

A propos of:

There seems to have been a massive hike in prices for pay and display street parking in Croydon since I last went.

Electric car on Ringo is 32p an hour! Tis a bargain.

A couple of years ago I bought some radio batteries at Radio Shack.Before I got home I got an email asking me to rate them !! Don’t ask me to rate them before I’ve put the bloody things in the radio ! In fact don’t ask me to rate them until they have run down…

The word "bestie"! Arggh

so true bestie!

Thank you bestie! Still arggh!