People who misuse the word “slightly”.

Female levels of toilet roll consumption.

*looks around the room from toilet seat for toilet roll* "there was a full roll right here yesterday"

Instead of a Croatian drug lord?

Been there done that.

Thank God for Costco!

That’s cause fat birds use em as tampons, I’ve got my misogynistic head on today.

[QUOTE=Sharkba1t;15949683] Imagine how the ladies feel.

Probably pisspoor for the environment. But I am enjoying the quicker clean combo of using wetwipes in my morning routine.

Ew.


Any detail is too much detail.

Mother in law came to stay this weekend. Spare room loo roll checked and full, new sheets etc ready for the arrival on Fri night. Sunday morning “your out of loo roll and I used the tissues” wtf ?? They must eat it, no wonder the Covid crisis led to all the loo rolls going 1st.

Got up this morning to find this:

https://s5.gifyu.com/images/owlmarcu...1613076432.png

(Photo is not mine... stolen off the Internet, but basically the same thing)

Don't have a clue what to do about it... Google is my friend.

Invite him in for tea

It's dropped enough shit in there already... maybe it could use some of that toilet paper that is in high demand!

Seems to have disappeared again. I assume it has found a spot up the chimney to rest during the day.

See if he's got a letter from Hogwarts for you.

Quick! Get a fire going.

And will play havoc with your waste pipes. Good luck.

Ummm. Barbecue owl!

As an aside, why do more than a few companies use an owl as its spokesperson? And always wearing glasses and talks with a British accent.

I can think of 3 at least.

Owls are wise right? Or sage.

https://wordsandherbs.files.wordpres...12/08/sage.jpg

i), I thought it was Serbian, and ii), presumably you can be a Serbian woke England-hating drug lord metrosexual?

I certainly hope so.

RSPCA or equivalent over there should help you to get rid of Hedwig

Hedgy is a wizard :)

Could start a Hedgehogwarts

He seems to be giving me the evil eye...

https://s5.gifyu.com/images/IMG_1145.jpg

I can't believe I can't find any animal services/fish and wildlife who are interesting in helping. Best I've got is a place that said I should catch it, put it in a shoe box and they will take it off my hands (40 miles away).

God forbid it was a rattle snake!

Having watched Twin Peaks, it's obvious that Hooty here is a portent of a nearby gateway to the Black Lodge, into which you will soon be sucked. You'll be trapped there for all eternity, talking backwards and hanging out with Laura Palmer, Evil Bob and all that gang in the Red Room

The fire sounding a better idea by the minute ;)

Don't worry about it; it'll make sure you don't have any rodent issues.


In Florida, you can get a massive fine if you mess about with Burrowing Owls and their habitat.

I'm sure none of you can sleep worrying about the owl... :rolleyes:

Update: All's well that ends well... About 8:30 my wife lets out a cry, and there is the owl sitting on top of a photo on a shelf above the TV. My wife had headphones on and I was in the other room so neither of us saw or heard the owl come out the fireplace. We had the patio door wide open and the patio light on and turned out all the lights in the house and within a minute the owl took off straight out the patio door.

Now I guess I need to get a chimney cap installed to prevent this happening again. :)

Good news, Hedgers. If it was a burrowing owl as suggested then it is a “California species of special concern” so I’m surprised your local animal rescue chaps weren’t bothered.

Good news it escaped. A chimney cap sounds like a good idea.

[QUOTE=big bad John;15950497]:lux:

But you can’t flush wet wipes, especially in 3rd world dumps like Santiago. So I suppose you have a filthy bin next to the toilet ?

He was complaining about the state of your chimney I would guess.

Great news off to find a pussy cat and a boat I imagine

Had to cancel out one second just now. One second.

Well it is Wednesday

Guy coming Friday to install one... shutting the barn door after the horse has bolted so to speak... not that I think a horse would fit down the chimney. :rolleyes:

It's not the ball anymore, it's the football
It's not the club anymore, it's the football club

:)


We can only learn from our mistakes and this is a fluke I would imagine.

Okay, Tony Pulis

It's spelled "flue"

Very good :)

Wallowing self pity

"If that makes sense?" Invariably uttered after a self indulgent splatter of bullshit.

C*nts who don't indicate at roundabouts.


I'm not a f*cking mind reader so indicate your direction.

C*nts who don't indicate at...any place where they should.

C*nts that do indicate....but only after the lights have changed and they're in the right hand lane at traffic lights waiting to turn right when you chose to go behind them because you can use that lane to go straight ahead. :veryangry

And have you noticed that when people say they're 'not being funny...' they never, ever are?

Not being funny ....... but wallowing self pity....... if that makes sense.

‘Great for snacking’ written on bags of nuts bought from Asda. The term ‘snacking’ makes me want to poke my eyes out. Is anyone more likely to snack on nuts if there is a cringeworthy phrase on a piece of packaging.

I'd like to add another annoyance similar to this - when you're behind someone who's approaching a junction or roundabout (or to put it correctly, intersection or traffic circle) and even though you're behind them, you can see that the way is clear, but despite their superior view of the road, they inexplicably cannot, and stop there for ******* ages, looking at god knows what before finally moving on.

What the **** are they looking for?

Serving suggestion. (It's on a plate)

Middle lane drivers on motorways. I once started a thread about it.

They are oblivious to the trouble they create behind them. All because they pulled out once and stay put.

People that put a meeting in your diary for 5:30, and then cancel it at 5:25.

People who don't know the meaning of 'unanimous'.

You have truly nailed it :p

They're all c*nts - no question

People who say 'generally' instead of 'genuinely'

"I was generally generally ill" etc

People at the recycling tip that have to stare at everything they have dumped sitting at the bottom of the hopper for 5 seconds after they've chucked in in. Get out of my way you helmets!

Correct...but as a teenager it was a good way of getting an awkward point raised in class without copping a bollocking off teachers. ;)

Exactly - unless you're throwing stuff in the skips from 5 yards away like Hulk Hogan throwing someone out of the ring in a Wrestlemania Battle Royal, you have no business being at the tip! :p

The temporary traffic lights specifically at the end of my street that sprung up on Monday.

Went out of my way yesterday to avoid them and copped a load of rush hour traffic and a level crossing I forgot was there, which added 15 minutes to my journey just to avoid the 3 minutes stuck at the traffic lights!!

FFS

Are they the ones at the bottom of Kings Road, just past the brewery?

Scott Morrison .

Lady walked in to Pret this morning… and just said “latte….now”.

Could she have been joking with a cashier she knows well? If not, she deserves a 'Get phucked'

Ugly cant **** off

Hospitals that take 4 attempts to insert a cannula (tbf, my veins ARE crap :D)

Having to not spell swear words correctly on sites like these.

They were the only words spoken by her… she got her drink paid with card and left. Could have been bantz with cashier she knows… but… it just looked like a rude stuck up squeeze with a attitude problem?

Don't use swear words and you won't be annoyed

Surely it's important to remember when being shocked by this behaviour that you were not only in a place called 'Pret a Manger', but one that is also sometimes abbreviated to 'Pret'.

(Funny accents and hat things deliberately left off some of the letters so someone can correct me pedantically)

There should of bin a full stop (or "period" lol) before the close bracket/parenthesis, unless you're M*z.

Then I’d have to find something else that annoys me :supergrin:

No - where I live near Hull. And they've expanded as the week's gone on :eek::veryangry

Yeah, it’s bollocks, I agree. It really fuck’s me off as well. :)

This is outrageous behaviour from a former swot. There is no apostrophe in "fucks".

Surely the barista would have have got their own back by asking the 100 mandatory questions that come with ordering any such drink?

'Would you like it stirring clockwise or anti-clockwise madam'?

I prefer them after the bracket, I just think they look better their

M*z puts a full stop outside the brackets when the full sentence is contained within them. That's worse.

A sentence needs to be finished with a full stop. (And not with a bracket).

Rats eating the wiring in my engine bay. *****.

A sentence needs to start with a capital letter - do you put that outside the bracket, too?

Here's one source showing you are wrong on this https://proofreadmyessay.co.uk/writi...f%20a%20clause.

Could you please provide one supporting your argument?

It’s not an argument I have any interest in winning! A(lthough I like the point you made).

Appropriate that you should quote an erroneous Latin bastardisation.

Susie Dent is an erroneous Latin bastardisation?

To be honest, I just happened to see that just now on twitter (on a completely different debate) and couldn't resist.

Yep, that's what I was trying and obviously failing to imply.

VHA - Americans do all sorts of weird shit with punctuation; even weirder than British SPaG pedants. Also, apostrophe's' should be banned in my o.

Have they been filled with water?

Bollocks.

Beaten by about a week. For shame.

I’m sure it was an intended joke, but your use of the word ‘their’ hurts me. Please edit your post immediately ;)

We can all agree with that.

That sounds like a euphemism to me. :eek:

BTW, putting "an" in from of "euphemism" as one should before a word beginning with a vowel just sounds all wrong. Is it an exception or you just go with the sounding wrong?

But the spoken word begins with a virtual consonant ('Y').

Pavement cyclists. Naff off, the lot of you.

Do you write “an herb”? (My dad says “an (h)otel” but he’s from Yorkshire and therefore an c~nt.)

I agree, I've had to come to terms with writing my surname without the apostrophe. Ever since the teacher beat the bejesus out of me when I was five for being unable to spell my name I sort of mastered the art. That was until the computer age arrived and all of a sudden when I write my name I'm being told by some smug gadget that I've made an error in spelling my name.
Computers don't always recognize the apostrophe. Sometimes though they do, so it's really a game of chance. Booking a flight can be a nightmare. Then when you go into, for instance, a bank and they ask you to spell your surname. When you say 'apostrophe' they ( epecially if they're under 40) look at you with that blank look that can only be acquired by bad recreational drugs or staring into your phone for too long.
So it looks like I can finally say I'm a victim. I can now join other Apostrophites and march together in solidarity; smash up a few shops and scrawl "full stops suck" over the library wall.

A 400 euro euphemism.

None of this had occurred to me as problematic until now !

I remember reading an article, probably ten years ago, which highlighted the problem. It was called something like, "An apostrophe in your name can cause a world O'Trouble."

No, but I do say “an hour”.

As Americans pronounce herb as “erb” I might say “an erb”.

What about the written word? Is it “a” or “an”?

For me it's "a".