Bloody privatised 'Virgin East Coast' which is now even more shit than it used to be.

Cameron's Britain.

Branson's Britain...

Vote Labour.

TTL with SALT.

Amen

I went to pick my 87 year old Dad from the doctors surgery, he'd had a lengthy appointment. There was nowhere to park, so l left my car blocking the doctors car park and popped in to ask the receptionist would he be much longer, or were they running late? I have come to pick him up, but there is nowhere to park.

I can't tell you that, she said. Patient confidentiality.

WTF? I didn't want to know the details of his treatment, I only wanted to come to take him home.

I didn't want to upset my Dad so I didn't say anything, but I felt like saying well give him a message that he has lost his lift home. She told me I could take a seat in the waiting room. What good is that when I can't leave my car? Besides, I didn't fancy sitting there listening to people coughing and snotting all over the place and coming home with a cold, or worse.

That really gave me the hump, and I have realised that I'm well on the way to being a miserable old git.

Receptionists at the docs are something else.

Air Asia app for android. Select nationality. Pop up list of ASEAN countries only. Close app.

Air Asia mobile site. Drop downs not for mobile at all, enter name, doesn't work. Close app.

Book on full site.

Wankers.

Newsagents talking on the phone whilst taking your money.

Fit ?

People who can't spell 'Asian' correctly, having correctly spelled 'Asia' twice in the same post.

He may have been referring to this

http://www.nti.org/treaties-and-regi...nations-asean/

Well that's made me look like an absolute **** hasn't it?

I completely take it back.

This seems to happening more, it is unbelievably rude. Especially when they don't even look at you, just hold out a hand for money whilst continuing their conversation.

Also, people having conversations on their mobile whilst holding it 2 foot from their face and having it on speaker phone:grrr:

Australian football presenters

Richard Head.

:clown:

Precious actors who go on about their 'craft' examples Martin Shaw,Richard Gere and Laurence Fishbourne,who coincidently are all mediocre

Martin Shaw...where did he get his pompous fake accent from?

Too many acting lessons honing his 'craft' maybe.

People who invade your personal space, most notably on public transport.

Of any code.:clown:s

People that are l always late, rude bastards.

Apart from the Professionals, he has been a pompous twat for decades

Actors using opportunities to promote films as a phoney and pretentious demonstration of their intelligence. For instance:

"What I'm really trying to do right now is contextualise the ongoing struggle of human consciousness in an overbearing and opaque world."

Having a piss in a long row of empty urinals and some weirdo comes in and selects the urinal next to you. What's that all about ?

You must be a big dick

Oh....

Guard Dogs �� on a mission
There must be a training manual

Homosexuality?

'England till I die I'm England till I die, I know I am I'm sure I am I'm England till I die'

Replace England for any team on the planet. Most embarrassing football song ever. Especially when accompanied with a trumpet

People who put clothes hangers on the rail the wrong way round.

Moving boxes of shit from house to house forever.

BBS still not having its Homepage back! FFS what's going on??????

:p

At a guess, one of the easiest tunes to play?

Isn't it a tv shows theme tune?

I have unboxed wedding presents that have now moved between three countries over nine times and I've been divorced over 15 years!

My late uncle once advised me that if you hadn't used something for 2 years then throw it away.

Rep doesn't move either!

This seems to be what happens once anyone gets over about the big 20 mark. Bit strange though?

Probably good advice. The wife is a hoarder of clothes, shoes and bags. The kids of toys and games, and me of diy tools and electrical stuff. We now have 3 places full of junk although i have managed to cram most of it into the garage in this one and the rental in wales. We are like some spreading virus of stuff which may come in handy but rarely does :)

Elgin Eagle: 'Moving boxes of shit from house to house forever.'

Either 1)you're a removal man , 2) get a plumber in to sort out your sewage collection, 3) use more of it on your vegetable patch, 4) get rid of the pet buffalo. Or all of above.

When homepage come?

The number of times I park my car in acres of space in an almost empty car park and some utter turd thinks it's a good idea to park beside me and also park so close that it becomes a fecking nightmare to get into the driver's seat.

FFS!

:)

Probably shit was the wrong word, but its not far off :)

Quite envious of people who are able to throw stuff out.

Do the three pile sorting technique - stuff you must have, stuff you're not sure about, stuff you should give away.

Once you've given away some stuff and repeated the process a couple of times, you're there! :lux:

People posting on social media about their woe / angst / anger and when you ask them 'what's wrong' they say 'nothing'.

I think the middle pile would be massive with my palace tops and scarf in the first pile, and a pile of handbags and shoes in the other one ;)

People who park their cars next to traffic calming humps; so you have to drive slowly over both (the one in your lane and the one in the middle) instead of only negotiating just the one on your lane.

When nut and bolt head sizes aren't the same, particularly when you can't see one. :veryangry


Oh and some pratt on a moped doing 40mph in the sixth lane of the Chonburi by-pass and being too ******* thick to understand why he is being beeped until the woman on the back tells him to move over before moving back into it infront of the next car.

Welsh accents, especially that twat on the postcode lottery advert.

Betting/bingo adverts Ray Winstone and Babs grate my teeth.

The international break.

People describing themselves as a 'geek' in a positive way, like it makes them alternative. Real geeks are not self-aware. It is not a badge of honour.

Real geeks were the ones at school who had no friends whatsoever, spots all over their face, lived on a computer and smelt of BO. They begged the teacher for homework and got their head stuffed down the bog at break time.

White Africans and black Mexicans. F•••ing confounding.

The new Ch4 idents

Other peoples showers. Whats wrong with you all? Why do I have to **** around for 10 minutes before its right.

And if its one that connects to the bath taps switch it back when you've finished you utter ***** because you know when I turn it on I will get unexpectedly soaked by either cold or hot water. *****

Giving someone a lift, pulling over to let them out, they said their goodbyes, they then spend 15 minutes ******* around trying to find the door handle. They then get flustered and look back at you back pathetically and laughing "I can't find the handle, hahahaha!"

People who treat every new Star Wars film,new Bond film and new Springsteen release like its the 2nd Coming

People sitting behind you on planes who give you whiplash by suddenly leaning on your seat every single time they get up. And sit down. Lean on your own seat you obese morons!

To be fair, they do all tend to have a familiar ring about them...

Ah I see you were the skinhead with the single earring then

I'll add to that, every new series of Dr Who

the FA's new policy of not having leagues for under 11's or even publishing the match results in case someone is upset. It's a competitive sport ffs !!!!

People who don't understand kids should be able to learn to play sports and develop their skills without the pressure of worrying about results.

I witnessed a coach at U8s effectively drive away loads of kids because he was chasing league success and not trying to give all the kids a love of the game

'Curated by'. It's even getting applied to shops now.

The loss of ability by drivers to indicate once in a supermarket car park. Lazy c*nts.

Why do you own a pile of handbags?

For BBS arguments.

Exactly. Might keep them too thinking about it.

Seriously though mate, unless you are really downsizing, pack it all up and then sort it out when you're unpacking. No point giving yourselves extra sress.

Had two British lads stay with me for a couple of weeks. Neither managed once to return the water valve from shower to faucet. Dumbasses.

Yeah thats what we done. Got a full garage but got the other place empty finally.

I'm not surprised. What's a faucet ?

The type of coach who probably favoured strength, therefore selecting the physically bigger kids and did little to encourage the skilful ones?

Seen that loads of times and it tends to lead to old style Wimbledonesque football, especially as there's no offside at that age group.

I've often wondered whether shorter players such as Iniesta or Messi would have made it in English footie.

We've found other coaches with different approaches, so do shop around. But it's v frustrating when a school coach is like that, as you're stuck with them for a while at least.

In English :D, a tap.

People who call taps 'faucets'.

Non dedicated showers.

Reincarnated BBS trolls.

Loads of flashing lights on the new(ish) washing machine.

This is quite simply a device along with the sodding beeps to ensure that I can no longer claim not to have noticed that the washing machine is full and that the clothes needs emptying and hanging up to dry.

It is ruining my life.

Having had a washing machine for years that beeps when the programme is finished, it's now annoying that our newer one doesn't.

Washing has been left in for hours, silently steaming away and forgotten.

Not being able to buy more than 2 packs of Paracetamol in a major Supermarket. I can walk straight back in and buy another two or go elsewhere. In all honesty I doubt I would be deterred from killing myself if that was all I had to do to.

The term "all the trimmings" when peasants talk excitedly about a roast dinner as though they've never eaten before in their life.

Lee Evans who also fits comfortably into the 'cringe' and 'overrated' threads

It actually upsets me that people can find him funny.

Blonde big titted tart in Charley's Angels.

If you go through the self check out at Waitrose in Beckenham, the nice lady comes and resets the till for you with her magic override thingy.

Yours afterlifedly...

The o2 charging £1.50 to pay for items using a debit card!!!:veryangry

Websites with 'top 20 of..' where you have to click 20 times to see all the picks. Its time for a clickbait amnesty and get back to basics with some oldskool scrolling.

Yes, and especially when they deliberately put either an ad right next to the next page arrow that clumsy, sausage fingers hits or a deliberately misleading link with an arrow :veryangry

When you don't get all the trimmings:veryangry

This growing trend of omitting the word 'the' when referring to certain things like carnival and government etc.

THE carnival
THE government

Talk properly.

Restaurants, specifically waiting ages for the bill, that should be the quickest part of the service as that's when they get their money but so often it takes far to long

Just go to walk out.

Washing machines

the putting jacket on and standing up routine works for me

Service in most restaurants shit these days. Most do not want to be there then expect a tip.

Finally...I thought I was the only one..couldn't not laugh at nothing he says even if it was funny. Just don't understand him.

The new strobe light avert boards round football pitches. Puts you off watching the game.

Surprised there are no warnings about them before you watch a game.

http://patient.info/doctor/paracetamol-poisoning

In the UK it is the most common agent of intentional self harm. Between 2000-2008 there were 90-155 deaths from paracetamol poisoning every year.[1] In addition, there are deaths resulting from paracetamol compounds. It is the most common cause of acute liver failure (ALF).

Fair enough I suppose!
:eek:

Speak properly, surely? :confused:

What would be interesting to know, is whether the purchasing restrictions have made any reduction to the number deaths? They've been in place for a few years.

As the other poster said, if you're determined you can just go in different shops.