Choosing floor tiles.

Along those lines... shopping for lamp shades.

Look OK in the store, don't look right on the lamp at home... we are currently on our 3rd attempt, and another one on order.

I'm pretty impressed you could tell he was from between the Black and Caspian seas.

Anyway, what has annoyed me today is Jerry Sadowitz's Edinburgh show getting cancelled.

That thing some people do when suddenly a chair or a space on a sofa becomes 'their place' and they get all grumpy and order people out if someone else sits there. How does that work?

If someone else chose them for you would that be better?

Maybe a Mexican?

If someone sits on your chair you just ask them to move. It can't be simpler than that

Recently had to choose bathroom tiles and was being shown the £30 plus each tiles by the salesman first, then he uttered the magic words 'we have these over here on sale'. Also the showroom was lit by low wattage halogen so I now have a 'Cold War' bathroom. Should have taken a sample!

Given how stringent OFCOM are about false advertisement, I can’t understand how banks like Lloyds and Halifax get away with those ******* "by your side" adverts.

People who refer to their families as 'Team Smith/Jones/C*nt'.
Arseholes

The various ways subs enter the pitch these days, especially the growing habit of hopping over the line. FFS

North London.

You mix in some fecking circles. First the nasty bitch neighbour...then this.

A batman/robin...Will Smith slap..from Team Vista should sort it.

Or please...just point out verbally or online NO..when it happens..please don't let them get away with it out of repressed middle-class politeness (as in..the withering bed-time comment from the wife...'why did you..?'.

Reading the BBC match report of the Forest v West Ham match. The journo must have been fresh out of Uni where he majored in being a drama critic. Obviously no room at the Beeb for that at the moment, so they've stuck him in the toys department and allowed him to write football reports until an opening becomes available.
He starts his report by claiming it was a "Famous victory for Forest" Why? It was a match between two teams, one of whom is hoping to finish 7th and the other hoping to stay up. After creaming himself over the noise the crowd made, outside, pre-match kick around, and during the game, he goes onto say that the Forest scorer (some bloke called Awoniyi) will go into Forest folklore along with all the other great stars of the twice European cup winners. Looking at the famous goal, which in his eyes has made the player a folk hero, it looks suspiciously like a glorified tap-in.

Simon Stone. Unsurprisingly, he supports the Wankers. Absolute tool. He’s not alone in living in BBC hyperbole-land, though. Conor McNamara makes every goal/tackle/throw-in sound like an excuse to have the biggest orgasm ever.

May be my eyes but it looked as if he was in the right place but it ricocheted off the defender and as he tried to react, it hit his knee and went in. So even tap-in might be an exaggeration. They all count but not likely to make him a folk hero.

Yep, more Fluke than tap in

Right place, but he knew almost nothing about it

Sensationalism.

Our approach to sport reporting has been affected by this American trend. I cant bare any of our commentators for the last few decades, they feel the need to hype everything and put too much stress on their cadence, all hoping for a soundbite that gets played on some sensational football montage. (There is a new trend of ‘growling’ a word to ‘show passion’ by the colour commentator. Dean Ashton is one of the worst for this but there are imitators raising all the time) for me it’s false, I would rather be given stats, whimsical pondering and benign anecdotes, rather than just stating with force every players name who receives the ball, we can all see it’s not radio.

It’s the same with the writing, they try too hard to make connections and allure to some kind of mythology being created, everything is either the biggest crisis or most monumental moment known to man. It’s getting worse with the rise of clickbait articles.

What it result in, is football all being taken too seriously, where is the fun and humour these days with football? Even the chants arnt as funny.

That's fine. It was still a famous victory for Forest; why begrudge them that?


And whilst on the thread subject, sweet Jesus, match day threads. We've got a lot of entitled arses on here/

Its worse then that a lot of "commentators" don't even commentate on what is happening in the match any more preferring to spend their time swapping stats and banter with their co commentator with the occasional reference to what is actually happening on the pitch especially annoying on radio commentary..

:lux:

Cash points.

The notes always come out upside down/back-to-front and need sorting!

OCD?

Leaf whackers. Noisiest beasts in the neighbourhood

Had to Google that and expected to see some kind of weird insect.

What are you wanging on about, you pissed c*nt?

Some actor who insists on being called They/them. How can someone be plural? Worlds gone mad.

They’re singular terms too. Bit clunky when you’re not really used to that though.

Not what I was taught at school all those years ago. Glad I’m not a teacher trying to explain that to a bunch of children. Tough enough as it is.

Supermarket nectarines. They go from stony hard to wrinkled and rotten quicker than you can eat them.

Not in the slightest; there's the right way and the wrong way. :afro:

Is that why he was surprised by noise at a football match?

And the bank notes aren’t even sorted by individual serial number, have to do this myself before placing them in my wallet.

I will await your apology.

I was agreeing with you. You seem to know some rather odd people in your environs. Not saying they are friends of yours for one minute.

First, you had the nasty neighbour wanting to get some petition started over kids enjoying a paddling pool.

And now, tools that refer to their families as Team...

You seem to be a magnet for these types.

Get it sorted Stella.

Is that the new name for Millwall Youth?

I mean, how does it work that a specific place comes to 'belong' to one person to the exclusion of others? What is the mechanism? Do others get a say?!

BA trying to persuade me to fly when firstly they cancelled a load of flights because they can’t cope, along with the final piece of irritating inducing marketing bollox, proving they don’t know their customer profiles, “if it ain’t on ‘gram it never happened” **** off you hipster twats.

Haha.
Generally, the 'team' tossers tend to be online, not local Shitbags.
I was just teasing you, Peter. :)

Please explain why a 1-0 victory over West Ham should be described as a famous victory.
Funny feeling Forest might be this season's media dahlings when it comes to their support. We were fawned over for a few seasons when we first came up for the atmosphere created at Selhurst. Bored with us they moved onto Leeds and last season every cry of Everton - Everton was greeted by commentators like it broke the sound barrier.

The National train announcements / poster campaign...

See it
Say it
Sorted

I'm just not happy with the Sorted at the end.. Shouldn't it be 'Sort it'... or 'We'll sort it'...

grr

I dont like it either but,

‘Sort it’ is present tense rather than the past tense of ‘sorted’, it may seem that you should do all 3 actions one after the other, be a have a go hero and ‘sort it’ which is the last thing they want the public doing, ‘sorted’ suggests it is sorted by ‘say it’ and nothing more.

‘We’ll sort it’ doenst have the rhythm, as I said I dont like it but I can see the logic behind it.

Being a bit deaf I always though the train announcement was 'See it, say it, sort it' I was really surprised that you had to defuse suspicious packages yourself!

A jingle which annoys me is the 'Autoglass repair, Autoglass replace.' This always seem to me that the words stop early and the should be an 'It' or 'them' after the replace. Just seems to grate on me.

Yeah, this annoys me as well :D

Interviews with footballers:

"We showed great character"

What, to come back from 1-0 down and draw the game 1-1?

I suspect they come from the same breed that send 'family achievement' Christmas cards.

There is a lot to be said for scaling down online activity to the BBS and wassup.

I need a cull on groups and interests of Faceache again.

Is that 'sort it' on a Saturday when people are trying to get to football?

We were the quality. We have just left the scum, brexiters, racists, workshy and scroungers behind.

Plus, the whiney-arse liberals who have rage on their fingertips and shout 'Tut' very loudly at the wall, needing a wet cloth on forehead from the missus and a brown paper bag to blow into. They would march on parliament, but they are expecting a delivery from Amazon and they don't trist the post office not to leave it on the step to be stolen by knife wielding youths again.

Honestly, turn our backs for 20 years and you lot feck up the country. If you hand us a suitcase of Russian or Arabian money we will return and sort it all out for you mediocre incompetents.

Look over there...there is an unmissable offer to the Med - last one available at this price - get back to me laterz.

Blimey. Are those still a thing?
Sad f*ckers

The great and good of the BBS can tell us. I heard of the tossers from unfortunate bbs recipients of said 'aren't we great' cards from distant family. I doubt these people have developed self-awareness over the pandemic.

Drivers in a car park that you stop for as they reverse out of their space, for them only to be straightening their car in the space and not leaving. They never say thanks as they’re embarrassed as they know it’s their total lack of spacial awareness that has caused you to stop.

If you can’t execute the simple manoeuvre of sticking your car into a big space first go, then you forfeit the right of holding up others to recover your ineptness.

What’s more annoying is if you want that space and the hope of a space appearing disintegrates as the selfish, spacial awareness challenged numpty, nips back into it.

Those who complain about other drivers in car parks and people straightening their cars.
seriously get a life. are you one of those weirdos who reverse into car parking spaces too?

But then you would be annoyed by people abandoning their cars diagonally in spaces causing you even more problems :)

I think we should probably breathe deep and celebrate that life is good if this is all that is troubling us. I will now, no doubt, be cursing this same thing later today when I take a rare trip out in the car to see the dentist. Now the dentist - that really is annoying :)

That is the correct way to do it. I always reverse into parking spaces.

Reversing into parking spaces is mandatory in the car park for the building where I work. I get the train instead, though I am considering joining the cycling scum to help me lose a few kilos.

Indeed . Drivers and drivers innit.

I certain situations reversing to park is fine however its not very logical if you are doing say a big super market shop. Unless you have no engine in the front of ones car.

I always adapt to the circumstances myself.

What even if it is a completely empty car park and you are the only car?

Yep, unless you have a 911, parking forwards is the most obvious thing to do in supermarkets

Ah, I confess I am not familiar with supermarkets.

You are Rishi Sunak and I claim my £5

Those posters who don't get the tone of this thread and get annoyed at posts about being annoyed. :)

I always reverse as well.

What really fvcking annoys me is people reversing out of their drives onto a busy road. Edging slowly out and causing hassle.

Reverse in and you wouldn’t have this problem.

However I do realise that I can momentarily hold up traffic when i reverse in. Though i am seriously efficient at it (except when our cat is sitting in the drive and refusing to move, making me get out of the car mid-manoeuvre).

Things that annoy you
 

Had a vivid dream that Palace were minutes away from winning the Premier League.

1-0 up away to Arsenal, 93rd minute, we just had to hold on to win the title. In my dream I wasn’t in the ground but outside where I could hear the crowd, I had the score and the live league table on my phone.

Arsenal we’re all over us. We were defending for our lives and suddenly I heard the roar of the crowd. I celebrated thinking it was full time, went ******* metal!! …but it turned out to be an Arsenal equaliser, right at the death. I even got a glimpse of the table - Palace in 2nd, two points behind Man City on 85 points.

I woke up extremely ******* annoyed, however, for a few brief seconds I knew what it felt like to celebrate your team winning the league :(

Typical Palace.

Mobeen Azhar's hair. seems to be a good journalist but whats thith the wanky hairstyle? All I want to do is get the clippers out and it detratcs from what he is saying.

You're doing your absolute best not to make any spelling mistakes for travellers' names when booking a flight, because you know the airline will charge you £369.558.225.00 to amend a letter..........and a 'we would appreciate your feedback' box pops up....:wallbash:

Just the 4 (four) road closures on my round trip to Stansted last night, none of which appeared on the Highways Agency website.

Just close the ******* thing down and spend the money on something that's actually of some use, chaps. :wallbash:

At least it's Howard any more, wouldn't want that **** by my side

Excellent one I hate airlines websites as I’m in such a state of stress because of this

Even more annoying for me is having to constantly sort all of my copper collection into the right years

Indeed. We will always be indebted that Bugs76 chose to post this OP as one of his paltry 125 posts....

'Going to a petrol station which is disguised as a supermarket and having to wait to fill up while some inconsiderate sod is deciding to do their weekly shopping.'

Like Lombardo, he wasn't around for long, but established legendary status in the short time he was here.

I threw my cellphone across the room trying to sort an airline thing out.

WTF?

Are you new here?

Straight out of the "I've never changed a nappy in my life" playbook.

The tuneless whistling of the builder next door.

"Cellphone" - you need to get back to Blighty toot sweet Peter.

Smartphone, is it? That's an oxymoron if there ever was one. Unless the 'smart' relates to - The phone is smart, so you don't need to be.

Maybe things have changed in Blighty, but on my last visit 7/8 years back the wifi availability there was crap. Which surprised me considering all the Oooh Haa over the Olympics. Had to drink crap, overpriced coffee in places just to get any access.

I did enjoy the bemusing spectacle of hundreds of commuters on bicycles on London Bridge, though.

I am returning for an extended period very soon, but please list below all the reasons I should be toot sweeting.

just 'phone' or 'mobile'. everyone has one these days so dont generally need to specify what type of phone it is.

I favour 'Communicator'.

I prefer reacher-outer, it's more moderner.

One of the great things about life is that we are all different.

People leaving voicemails in 2022.

It’s 1990 communication. Either email, text or even worst case voice note (but also dont make it long nor an extrovert ramble, which unfortunately they all are)

EE wont let me turn voicemails off.

It's certainly great that we're not the same as you ;) :love:

Are they years? I thought they were serial numbers. I'm off to the "Things you learned today thread" pronto.

I have one of those big number ones in case I have a fall.

In fairness to Pete he has given a clearer warning than the IRA used to give. I think the best thing some posters can do in the mean time is to go on a massive "be nice to Peter" offensive. He has been threatening to come over and settle some differences for some time now. I'm just glad I'm on a different continent and will be nowhere near the Cherry's lavatory, when payback for post 17,003 is dished out to some proficient poster whose cry of "it's only my on-line persona," is ignored by the rampaging Chilean.;)

Thank god for that Britannica…..

Yes, you should read books. Definitely.

Finishing 2nd. Think we'd all be happy with that scenario.

Anyway even if we had held out for the win this is Palace so we'd have lost out on goal difference anyway :)

But that year due to Liverpool fans behavior in Europe the year before, only the Champions qualified for Europe as a punishment to English teams...

Hate it when they talk a mile a minute in the voicemail and you have to replay it 10 times to understand the message and/or the number they want you to call back.

It's not a bloody race!

Logic would say for this dead communication method:

State number first, and then message… or better yet dont leave voicemails.

What are you actually say is “this is the number, and I will repeat it at the end of this message”.

Watching TV dramas lately (Shetland is the latest example I've seen) and characters repeatedly take phone calls, then hang up without even saying goodbye or indicating the call is finished.
Possibly done for dramatic effect, but it looks silly when it happens repeatedly.

This has been a trend for decades.

You should write some. Its very easy and can give another income. Sure there has to be a subject you excel in…..

A Dummy's Guide to Social Media?

Stanley's Straightner?

Is gammon the new pink?

This sounds like a booker prize winning tittle :)