You mean being old?

Yes thats it, I am annoyed with the passage of time, so not with myself after all.

I feel better already, but I am not so sure why, or why I started writing this.

In light of the above can I suggest you change your blurt to a more accurate "you stupid old ****"? I think you'll feel even better for it :p

:D

Now I just have to hope to remember this when I do it next time. I dont fancy my chances of doing so :(

Still better than forgetting to put it in gear and looking out the window half an hour later to the sound of a car alarm and seeing the thing embedded into a wall. Bloody election winning distracting bastard tories :veryangry

They have handbrakes in England.

And big feck off hills in scotland which render iffy handbrakes useless, as i found to my considerable cost :( Normally leave it in gear with the wheel turned to the kerb as well. Just not after a sleepless night watching the election results.

Look I'm not sure you know. So I'll have to check and get back to you.

St Pancreas station. Aaaaggh !!

Jim White and the c*nt hasn't even clocked on yet!

People coughing without covering their mouths. Filthy bastards.

:D

Two things today:

1) Glenn's gone, and Mile and/or Joe could be leaving
2) I can't log on to Ultimate Team on FIFA like f**king hell it's not hard to fix EA you useless pricks

The fact that whilst hating every single tedious fecking second of this deadline countdown I can't bring myself to turn the fecking thing over. Actually I did watch tipping point for twenty minutes. (see above but replace deadline countdown with tipping point)

"Look" is the Aussie "So" :D

Missing out on Deadline Day as worked till 6.45

Keith Lemon - why is he on everything! He's not funny, and I don't know many people that think he is. Eff off u twat

You really didn't miss much to be honest. :)

I'm not sure why and I've probably already mentioned it but the sneering use of the term 'soc.lib' on these boards REALLY gets on my ******* tits.

Wanky shaky camera shots in fillums and on the telly. I know it's supposed to look edgy and "street" but it does my head in.

I hate this when it's football highlights. They'll show a player from such an angle it looks like the manager is filming with what appears to be a camera smeared with vaseline, and then suddenly cut to a shot from behind the goal that only shows one of the posts and then the ball will appear in shot.

All set to some awful music. I simply don't understand how this is ever a good idea.

Having to wait a whole year and spend £357.48 to build my brass solar system model by buying magazines. I had the same problem a couple of years ago trying to build a f*cking galleon.

This ad:

My using the word 'aye' yesterday when asked a question.

Bloody Scots. Time to move back down South before things get worse and I start walking around in a dress.

Having a chicken something or other in Mr Singh's in Stirling last night. Right through me this morning.

The Beckham kids thinking it's OK to grow up mimicking their parents. Smile Brooklyn, it wont kill you you stupid bastard.

The fact that anyone knows who the Beckham kids are, let alone gives a toss what they're doing

Sky Sports announced his son signed for QPR. As if I give a c**t. But I did think that would pave the way for Austin coming to Palace.

POUNDS has got an s on the end if there is more than one.

Are more than one? Not sure......

Croatia drew to Azerbaijan and f**ked up my f**king multi the usless pricks

One of the little shits was on trial at Arsenal, but failed to make the grade (I don't know his name, Bonio?). I'm absolutely delighted though as it means his father's name counted for nothing, I said nothing.

Hope no one nicks your post

Dumb tarts asking me in the queue at the bank if they can help at all. You can if you get behind the f*cking jump and do something useful otherwise f*ck off and leave me alone.

Dogs that run after trains. Either way you're going to lose.

'coin' being used as a term for an amount of money

British Airways' use of the phrase "hidden gem" to recommend a film on their inflight entertainment.
It's not a hidden gem at all, it's a cheap, low budget, not good enough to go on general release, film that BA has added to their catalogue to make it look like they have loads of great inflight movies to watch .

^^^

Amazing how many things annoy when you stop and think :)

People who don't know the difference between "advise" and advice"

Scum.

cool people loudly proclaiming to all how little they know or care about various celebrities

People that think they are cool.

New generation of mothers who listen to their iPods whilst pushing their child along in a buggy. Give me strength. I also find fathers who think they're too cool to push the buggy with both hands annoying. You look like a complete prick. Just push it properly.

people who write off all pop music and hip hop etc as 'manufactured', 'generic' or whatever else they read on the internet by other people trying to sound like they know what they're talking about

also, people who say they hate rap except for Eminem. I wonder why...

edit: one more that's been annoying me today: neutrals and pundits over hyping us. Merson apparently thinks we'll finish 5th?! Can we all just calm down...

Car salesman who lie to you about the likely price they'll retail your part-ex for to justify a low buying figure. Then pointing out every blemish, wheel scuff on your car as punishment for even asking such a thing. Though strangely, when you point out similar on the nearly new car you want to buy, they say these issues are par for the course on a used car and should be expected. Bastards.

6 year old Mini Cooper: valued by the Mini dealership - $7,500
Same Mini, 6 months later totaled by CT jnr: Insurance pay out $10,500
Moral? Lend your car to an 18 year old doof :p

The Irish.

Tenants.

Yes Bloody Awful Lager!:D

There's no denying that :)

Got to get a new one again :(

Don't include me in that, I know I'm not cool!

#hashtags

I'm exceptionally cool.

It's just that nobody else recognises this fact.

Particularly my 13 year old daughter.:(

Mothers who drive their little cherubs to school which is
only 500 yards away cos they are too bone idle to walk, and then stop
on the yellow hazards so the precious ones dont have to walk too far.
And they have the fkn nerve to moan when anything is said to them.
Not in full flow yet cos they dont go back until next week!!

With said cherubs usually encased in a ridiculousy over sized Chelsea tractor, in order to protect them from the dangers of fresh air/breaking into a sweat while walking/having to share the pavement with lesser mortals/etc. Mother usually dressed in gym gear, in order to give the impression of being fit/active while being sat on her arse, in 45 minutes of traffic, over a distance that could have been walked in a third of the time.

Also, the fat bloke in a shitty Mazda that wheel spun out of a junction and theatrically swung into the A23 in Streatham this afternoon. His wheels were smokin', he made a loud noise and he looked a total c@nt. WTAF does that sh!t proove? LOL

Math.


It's Maths.

Idiots.

Crystal Maths.

I'm gonna say it... Maz.

People wanting your opinion, then getting upset over what you have to say...

You mean women?

Yep...

Well done.

And how original it was.

This really despairs me. What sort of parenting is this?

These are the same ****ers that let there toddler walk 10 yards behind them when they cross the road.

Typical Maz response :D:p

Yw

Inlaws

Almost as bad as British people calling trousers "Pants".

Annoys me!

People who f*cking sniff all the time. They can't all be coke heads. Sniff. Sniff. No cold no nothing just a habit. Even those that do have a cold, sniff, sniff, BLOW YOUR F*CKING NOSE C*NT.

There is a point though. We wear underpants. So what's over them?

Unless we change it to undertrousers.

The Spanish bloke sitting next to me in a bar who stinks of piss.

Gatwick Airport..... Crapwick Airport!

Waiting to get a Gate number at Crapwick Airport!!

Drivers who leave it until the last second possible before signalling and changing lane. How ******* difficult can it be to get in the right lane in good time?

"Golden hour" as the Airports call it, which is the Shopping time and the real reason they delay telling you your gate number at UK Airports Gat/Crapwick you are the worse for this!

Yeah I'd throw Berlin Schoenefeld airport out there, absolute dump.

The EU.....what was wrong with the old system we had?
You know the one, we invade shoot the place up a bit and make them join our trading group called the British Empire!!! :p

All Beards of any kind! other that Joe's...

Greek yoghurt ads.

Wanky ads aimed at the ladies...

No even his, it's the worst ever. He looks like a twat.

Having to stand behind a woman at a cashpoint

yeah but its Joe! Looks ******* soooo last year style but we love him! ;)

Or the petrol station ffs get your cash out before the till... Was it a surprise they want some????

Depends what woman it is. Highly unlikely but if it was Rachel Riley it would probably be worth doing the porridge after slamming one up her shitter while she took out her 50 notes.

You old romantic you.

How much Newcastle fans seem to hate us ever since Pardew left them. I don't think any cares how bad you think he is as a manager even though we've been flying high since he took over and you've been playing like complete shit ever since he left, and he hasn't said a single bad thing about Newcastle since he left. Some guy on the Newcastle forum even said he was more upset from us beating Chelsea than Newcastle losing? Weird bunch. Wouldn't even be talking about us if Pardew was a flop here.

Boeing...

International breaks

Especially when we are playing well!

And supermarket checkout..

Getting charged 50p to pay with a debit card despite being a regular customer. Charging people to pay doesn't create a particularly good customer service perception.

This. Absolutely absurd.

The ridiculous hype surrounding Wayne Rooney potentially breaking Bobby Charlton's scoring record by grabbing a brace against a bunch of fecking cab drivers.

'EDM'. Dance music has been around for decades in dozens of different genres, then suddenly the American mainstream cotton onto it and it's EDM this, EDM that, EDM ******* everywhere.

And getting on the bus.

Is it SO difficult to have your pass ready? And why is it ALWAYS at the bottom of your bag??

ITV Player - no, I don't want to set up an account to watch the odd programme

Mrs A has chosen the sofa she wants.

It £7,500.

Seven grand for a ******* sofa.

Seven grand.

I'm still in shock.

Guys coked out of their heads at 5.30 in the evening in a quite local pub, standing there chewing their cheeks and sniffing continuously. Why not wait until you're in club latter on?

And I bet the wankers are talking loudly at each other not listening to what anyone else is saying. Or if they are they are talking the most utter shit.

Yep and staring at everyone else, I'm tempted just to whisper to them that the guy in the corner can hear all their thoughts and watch the paranoia kick in

People who constantly post pictures of their kids or new born babies on facebook.

ENOUGH!!!!!!

It's easy. Leave Facebook. There is no need for it apart from f*cking c*nts.