They're pointless but harmless. The Norwich City F.C. of the entomology world.

Effing Friday night Premier games. When did that start?
Totally screwed my Fantasy team picking

This season. Everton v Palace next 30/9

To be fair, I was in a guy's cubical today and he had one blasting!

FFS - this is Southern California!

They feed everything from birds, to insects, hedgehogs, foxes and even fish. Hardly pointless and they don't exactly affect human life.

Unlike the bastard wasp.

http://www.wasp-removal.com/wasps.php

"Very often people ask us what purpose do wasps serve?
In early summer wasps, like bees, pollinate plants and flowers as they feed on nectar. If we were to eradicate all wasps it would cause more problems than it would solve. So, wasps do serve a purpose and despite being a problem at certain times of the year, they are a beneficial insect. So in the natural world, wasps although irritating to humans, have their role to play."

I have a hiatus hernia and couldn't live without Omeprazole. Heaven forbid that I should somehow miss a dose, but it would end up with me curled up in a ball with a furnace inside my chest. Utterly excruciating.

Ummmmm yummy!

They can cook? :eek:

Insomnia.

Don't be silly....they are the Bono and Bob Geldof of the insect world. They arrange concerts with groups such as the Bee52's, Adam and the Ants, The Beetles etc and arrange charity singles like Feed the Worm.

Also people who stand at bus stops but who refuse to make a space for people walking by and using the pavement.

I think one visits the Emirates now and then. It's more tedious than something I have a problem with. Football to them is about as important as discussing Bake Off or last night's Eastenders is to other people I work with.

I do laugh when they try and ask me to get them tickets though.

That is referring to the common wasp, whereas I was clearly discussing the bastard wasp. A completely different kettle of fish.

:supergrin:

Slightly off topic.....

I have a suspected hernia and due to go for a scan etc and then look at an op.

Can I ask why, if you are in such agony at times, why you haven't had an op? Mine is more annoying than painful and I can still walk decent distances - went for a 7 mile stroll yesterday and am going again today - and play golf etc.

At last someone else with a hiatus hernia. Can be fecking agony

Hiatus hernia they won't nessarily operate. I have had mine for about 15 years. In my case I can go months in no pain and then suddenly agony.

Ah ok ta. Difference between a hernia and a hiatus is ?

Thanks

Millwall twat would be more accurate 😄

Bald Millwall twat would be 100% accurate.

I didn't know he was millwall

Figures I guess

Me too. Although it depends.....I can miss a dose if I'm not on the beers and curry.

Losing a bit of tummy would be the ideal scenario but, well, you know, the beers and curry.:angel:

Knew he was a twat though.

I had the keyhole op about 4 years ago. I am starting to believe it isnt working anymore or has become unwrapped. Back on Lansoprazole atm.

https://twitter.com/OFFICIALSOSOLID/...77441164697600

https://twitter.com/OFFICIALSOSOLID/...86462013673472

This guy is pretty cool.

Hernia is a bit of your insides poking through to another bit, it's a catch all term.

Hiatus Hernia is between food and wind pipe, causes reflux and bleeding but not a serious threat (the op would be close to an airway so is more risky than controlling the reflux with drugs)

You likely (as it's common) have an inguinal hernia, in and around the stomach, low risk to repair and can be very painful and restrictive.

I thought you were talking about WASPs... bastard white Anglo-Saxon protestants...

my Vax vacuum cleaner broke down 2 weeks ago. up until then, I've been very happy with it, since we bought it 2 years ago.
Still under warranty, Vax send a replacement.

The new cleaner is absolute dogshite. And the reason ?

recent EU legislation reduced the power of vacuum cleaners to a maximum wattage.
What utter scrotes. Vacuuming takes twice as long with the smaller motor, plus it doesn't pick up as much dust/dog hair/pollen as their previous cleaner did.

Good for the environment ? Not if you have to spend additional time cleaning.

Good for asthmatics, or people with allergies, COPD, or people with toddlers who don't want them crawling in sh1t in their house ?

I want a vacuum that rips the threads from my carpet.
Brexit can't come too soon

Ah, the Vespa Fackingbastardae.

its not meant for the garden

Recommending a restaurant to friends and family because you had an awesome meal there. Then they go and it's not so good for them.

a) restaurant annoying for being inconsistent

b) friends and family listing in great detail all the problems with the meal.

Get a Dyson. My old Dyson died after 7 years stout service. The new one has such a powerful suction I can't do the mats in upright mode as it literally sticks itself to them, the suction is too strong. Fully compliant with the EEC stuff.

Dyson's after sales service is very good as well. Ensure that you complete the registration.

Trance music

Getting the trots whilst away, legging it to the office loo and finding out it is a squat down jobbie.

An experience best described as unpleasant

Omeprazole is effing amazing. I managed to run out of them over the Bank Holiday which is not a mistake I'll make again.

Oof. Are you amongst the heathen chinee?

I am. they were the highest bidder

:)

Say hello to CPFC2010ANDON for me please.

seriously i have looked for him, I asked around and everything but there was something a language barrier in the office when I tried to describe him. Somehow I couldn't get across the real meaning of someone trying to sell baby food on the Chinese equivalent of eBay using a made up child as a promotional tool.

Ha!

The new Go Compare advert,it was bad enough with that big fat git,now they feature a cab driver who looks positively demented.Where do they find these weird looking buggers from.

Is it me or is there loads more advert breaks on Sky Sports especially during half time in games. Missed most of the game today and all the goals except the feckin stoke one - as parents round for lunch etc so was hoping to see the goals post game but just loads of adverts and a Spurs wankfest.

Tossers

Work colleagues chatting to me and expecting me to respond when hungover.

Drop me the **** out

:p

Is that the dance off one - I hate that advert

Yeah well my strolls go up to 11.

Feet or metres ??

Buying a house, and the sellers taking 7 weeks to instruct their solicitors, then changing the completion date 3 times, then when you threaten to pull out, they send you a text saying "your (sic) being unreasonable"

Selling a house when the buyers spend hours over 3 visits looking round the house and make an offer, negotiate and agree on a price then pull out 3 weeks later.

All these fancy dan crisps mucking about with the classic salt n vinegar.

I want my salt n vinegar crisps to burn my lips and bring a cool layer of sweat to my brow. I don’t want this ruined by some toff thinking he’s being all bistro by using balsamic or cider vinegar and therefore losing the impact I desire.

I'm with you brother.

And as for cheese and chive..........wrong. Cheese and onion please.

Feel your pain. Tried to buy a house and after six months the sellers hadn't instructed solicitors. So I bought something else on the quiet and got a message through from the first lot saying we were 'time-wasting scum'.

You literally cannot buy brains it seems for some people.

Getting out at Victoria tube on the Victoria line.

Tourists , people standing in wrong places , wankers meandering along looking at their phones.

It's been soooo stressful. We're not selling our house, we are renting it out. They sent a text promising without any doubt to complete on 26th. We told our tenant she could move in on the 29th... they then say they wanna now complete on the 3rd October.
Then they say we're being unreasonable.

P.S. The previous two completion dates were 9th then 16th September.

The reason they want all these extensions.... they wanna find a place that is suitable for their cat.

I feel like sending Little Al round to see their cat.

the last bit...so much.

WTF is wrong with people! I saw a bloke out jogging on the Embankment and looking at his fkin phone...

And last Monday i saw a pedestrian walk straight on to the cycle path (Upper Thams st, opposite Southwark bridge) whilst looking at his phone. A cyclist ran i to him and the cyclist fell off. Neither were hurt thankfully.
Bet the mobile phone 'zombie' will do it again though.
Utter bellends these people.

Try Walkers baked stars salt & vinegar- I had couple of bags earlier, was very nice!

To cheer yourself up- top of the stairs, chuck a left, there's the iron duke and burger king

Always cheers me up!

getting an email from the Palace, with a new interview with Joe Ledley (underated maestro)

Logged in via google, CPFC wanted to know my age, location, and what nationality I am.

**** off Palace, you obtrusive *****!

Being very careful with my money, and espicially what I spend, finding my back account short of £1 compared to what it should be.

Reckon it's those *****uckets amazon..

I noticed this a while ago so I googled it. Something to do with your account being checked.

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/....php?t=2060137

Golden Wonder are the kiddies for you.

See PM.

They ain't gonna catch Pokemon if they don't look.

It's Terry Byfield's Tinder database.

When I was in the process of selling my house, I had a family that were keen to buy and made an offer, I came back with a counter offer saying I would sell if they paid it. About a week later, a letter arrived at my house addressed to them. I was so incensed by this I told the agent to tell them to do one

Being asked whether I have any bandwidth to do something. I don't have any bandwidth to do something because I am a person, not an internet router.

And WTF has happened to Wotsits??? Bought a packet for the first time in years and what I found was a packet of anorexic cheese puffs. They've shrunk! Ridiculously!

Twiglets > Wotsits

Twiglets for rock hard northern boys

Wotsits for girly southern softies

;)

That during the Paralympics closing ceremony last night they decided to read out people's tweets.

I have decided to stay up to watch the ceremony not to hear what people wrote on twitter. If I want to know what people have posted I will go on and read them, I don't need someone on TV doing it for me.

The fact that no Spanish person can pronounce a word that begins with S followed by a consonant without having to put or say an E in front of it.

They can't say Steve, they say Esteve, Espagueti, Escuba diving, and many of us will have heard a Spaniard say "he is estupid". Even the commentator on the football says John Estones (which just sounds like Johnny Stones). FFS is it that hard to drop the E?

Made John Sachs job playing a Spaniard in Fawlty Towers easy though.

:o When I say i bought a packet I meant the Mrs bought it and I just happened to have a look.

Anyway, once I noticed the travesty of the new Wotsit, I beat the feck out of her for buying some in the first place....just like a true Northern man would. ;)

Andrew not John.

My mother's lived in the UK for 37 years and still has this feature in her speech.

It and other pronunciation quirks actually affected my childhood pronunciation of certain words and phrases, up until my teen years I had fantastic pronunciations such as "bank Estatement", "half English half Espanish" (though I would say Spanish by itself just fine), aRAbic, crisps as "crips", and temPERature (I still say this on occasion when referring to having a temperature).

:supergrin:

Unfortunately, my wife is loads harder than me

I was a girl in the village doing alright
Then I became a princess overnight
Now I gotta figure out how to do it right
So much to learn and see
Up in the castle with my new family
In a school that's just for royalty
A whole enchanted world is waiting for me
I'm so excited to be Sofia the first

Ner ner ner ner...

I'm finding out what being royal's all about Sofia the first
Making my way it's an adventure everyday Sofia
It's gonna be my time Sofia
To show them all that I am Sofia the first!

Are sure its not your hands that have got bigger? My recollection of Wagon Wheels is that they used to be the size of dinner plates - not now!

Oh yeah... Ops.

Smug, righteous people who try to argue about something they either don't understand, have no interest in or aren't even affected by for the sake of their own self importance.

E-spaña is even more bastardised in Andalucia as they often drop S's and say Epaña or just Panya. I heard this during the Euros, 'Vamo Panya'.

Tu estas bien? is sometimes 'Tuta bien?'.

In Chile that's Ta bien?
I was there for a few months before I realized listo had an S in it.

I was lamenting my childhood favourites, beef wotsits and prawn wotsits only yesterday...

My favourite is más o menos becoming "ma o meo". :supergrin:

Electrical and white goods manufacturers who purposely make replacing a failed component worth a couple of quid next to impossible or so bloody expensive you've got to buy a new freezer/telly/washing machine etc. Usually happens just after the guarantee runs out.

More a wtf moment but my supermarket chain has been selling Halloween pumpkins for the past week.

As above,i heard my first Christmas advert broadcast on the Radio today,only three months plus before christmas actually arrives.For Christs sake give it a rest.

When I was a kid, Yorkie had 7 chunks- a real proper chocolate bar, now it has 5

World is a much darker place now- cruel..

Gimme my 2 extra chunks back you ****ers

Not being all jingoistic, but wasn't chocolate better when we had, Rowntree Mackintosh and Terry's of York?

then everything went all Nestle and Suchards

I've been getting emails from hostelries I frequent, about booking up for xmas parties..

Get ****ed, the clocks ain't even gone back yet

People who don't agree with me.

No, light pollution is spoiling our view of the stars.

When you go out for dinner as a couple and they give you an odd number of items on sharing plates.

Always seems odd that one. 3 rolls in a basket, 5 strawberries on the desert.

Been there done that.

Players who have assisted a goal running off in their own direction and celebrating like they've scored a worldy.

Look at me! Look at me!

The wife

Little wanky trolls.

Don't let them wind you up, remember if it's a small troll it will be frightened of even the smallest goat

:p

Both baskets in my dishwasher started to rust and the replacement cost was £160 just £20 short of a new machine! This despite it being a generic part across a range of machines.