CPFC BBS

CPFC BBS (https://www.cpfc.org/forums/index.php)
-   General Chit Chat (https://www.cpfc.org/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=18)
-   -   Things that annoy you (https://www.cpfc.org/forums/showthread.php?t=255975)

davech 05-08-2020 11:11 AM

Back to moaning :D.

That arsehole having an orgasm playing golf with his CD.

Maidstoned Eagle 05-08-2020 11:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by davech (Post 15336153)
Back to moaning :D.

That arsehole having an orgasm playing golf with his CD.

Any chance you could be more specific?

davech 05-08-2020 12:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maidstoned Eagle (Post 15336297)
Any chance you could be more specific?

Forget what it is advertising.

He is chipping a CD/DVD on its edge across the room towards a player on the other side. It lands in the exact right spot and disappears slowly into the player.

He goes into one. "YES! YES!! YES!!! YES!!!!"

No idea how many takes it took or even if it is all camera trickery. Whatever, it is still extremely annoying.

Stavros 69 05-08-2020 12:49 PM

Motorbike/scooter alarms, that high pitched bird whistle at 2am, I just don’t need it in my life.

PeterH 05-08-2020 06:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stavros 69 (Post 15336350)
Motorbike/scooter alarms, that high pitched bird whistle at 2am, I just donít need it in my life.

Yep, related. In the Santiago residence, which I will be handing over to the adult sons very soon, we have a lot of alarm twerps. Not just the over-sensitive parked cars, or a particular car, that sets off every day. But seemingly, people that love to test their alarms for 15 minute periods at a time.

Ihave been known to pop out and ask what they are doing - but that is usually a waste of time and I get anti-gringo comments about not understanding the culture and how I am best served by fecking off home.

The other is the people who come to pick people up, or sell drugs, or whatever. And toot their horns several times instead of getting out the car and ringing a doorbell, or using their mobiles.

Yet another is the pizza place across the road. They stay open until 2am. We often get regaetton fans arriving in their fast and furious hatchbacks, who think the whole street wants to listen to their pounding speakers with all car doors open. Tricky one that. Not sure the wife would be pleased if I went over and had a 'friendly' chat with youths that are likely to be from undesirable sections of society. No point leaving a widow behind over a row about pizza and regaetton.

The hugely missed benefit of lockdown will be the perfect peace that my Santiago street has been living under for five months. I am glad I won't be going back to that.

weltklasse 05-08-2020 06:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by big bad John (Post 15335531)
According to latest research from Brighton University, 18.99% of the male species in the Sussex area have participated in this latest trend.

shit attempts at being funny (see above)

CT_Palace 05-08-2020 06:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PeterH (Post 15336819)
Yep, related. In the Santiago residence, which I will be handing over to the adult sons very soon, we have a lot of alarm twerps. Not just the over-sensitive parked cars, or a particular car, that sets off every day. But seemingly, people that love to test their alarms for 15 minute periods at a time.

Ihave been known to pop out and ask what they are doing - but that is usually a waste of time and I get anti-gringo comments about not understanding the culture and how I am best served by fecking off home.

The other is the people who come to pick people up, or sell drugs, or whatever. And toot their horns several times instead of getting out the car and ringing a doorbell, or using their mobiles.

Yet another is the pizza place across the road. They stay open until 2am. We often get regaetton fans arriving in their fast and furious hatchbacks, who think the whole street wants to listen to their pounding speakers with all car doors open. Tricky one that. Not sure the wife would be pleased if I went over and had a 'friendly' chat with youths that are likely to be from undesirable sections of society. No point leaving a widow behind over a row about pizza and regaetton.

The hugely missed benefit of lockdown will be the perfect peace that my Santiago street has been living under for five months. I am glad I won't be going back to that.

the propensity for alarms (car, home) to go off in Santiago is so frequent that I actually think the only ones sold here have a special sensitivity setting of "feather attack". Either that or it's under-qualified ****wit installers, or additionally in the case of home alarms, under-educated ****wit owners.

Isle of Wight 05-08-2020 07:17 PM

That TH has become F, V or D, le has become w, we has become a

Da fing about a coupw of playas like macarfy is dey didn’t fink dat overs are much betta.

Stellavista 05-08-2020 07:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CT_Palace (Post 15336904)
the propensity for alarms (car, home) to go off in Santiago is so frequent that I actually think the only ones sold here have a special sensitivity setting of "feather attack". Either that or it's under-qualified ****wit installers, or additionally in the case of home alarms, under-educated ****wit owners.

Neither of you are really selling me the Santiago retirement plan.

Maz 05-08-2020 07:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stellavista (Post 15336956)
Neither of you are really selling me the Santiago retirement plan.

You not tempted by the idea of going whoring with Peter?

PeterH 05-08-2020 08:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CT_Palace (Post 15336904)
the propensity for alarms (car, home) to go off in Santiago is so frequent that I actually think the only ones sold here have a special sensitivity setting of "feather attack". Either that or it's under-qualified ****wit installers, or additionally in the case of home alarms, under-educated ****wit owners.

You wer planning to move from that condominium. I would suggest you look at getting out of Santiago a bit.

A nice bit of land etc..

Work out your finances, and take advantage of managers probably a lot happier to take video classes.

Plenty of great land opportunities for a good price near me. Still.

Plus, I am close to Valpo if you fancied getting back into container consulting.

Stellavista 05-08-2020 09:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PeterH (Post 15337044)
You wer planning to move from that condominium. I would suggest you look at getting out of Santiago a bit.

A nice bit of land etc..

Work out your finances, and take advantage of managers probably a lot happier to take video classes.

Plenty of great land opportunities for a good price near me. Still.

Plus, I am close to Valpo if you fancied getting back into container consulting.

There must some old Nazi fugitives derelict properties going cheap.

PeterH 05-08-2020 09:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maz (Post 15336991)
You not tempted by the idea of going whoring with Peter?

I don't go whoring. I go noncing according to our diminutive friend.

I know a good number of ex pats that like a whoring, though.

There is/was (it moved premises) a pub called Flannery's. There were a few middle aged and older ex pat regulars there and that was their life.

Found at the same outside tables from Happy Hour to almost closing (2am) every night. And then occasionally off with one of the night ladies, if they hadn't drunk too much.

I guess they enjoyed it, but you can't help feeling that they were failures in life overall.

Another place good for that is the outside bars at Cococabana. Basically, a square of cordoned off tables with the foreign business people (men, mostly) and tourists enjoying their night out, and surrounded by prostitutes of both kinds - women and, cough cough, chicks with dicks. The modus operandi was for them to wait to get invited in for a drink at one of the tables.

Let's just say that Virginia was not impressed, and one drink later we were on our way to Ipanema.

For future reference, Ipanema is much nicer and less of a tourist trap. Unless you want to go whoring, of course.

On cricket tours, we had 'visitors' to the swimming pool area of hotels. Shall we say, erotic dancers. Even in the South American Championship. A team made of up mostly of English, Australians, a couple of Indians and a few youngish Chileans we were trying to put through the ranks. An experience for them, lol. The 'dancers' who were a little scared of the situation, I think. And most of us weren't really interested - the usual stag do bravado instigated by the usual dirty suspects. It ended up with one dirty bastard negotiating himself and spending the night with both of them.

He was opening bat the next day.

On one tour, not a championship, I was opening bat due to half the team being hungover tothe degree of vomiting. That involved me putting my body in front of the new ball for about 20 minutes.

chateauferret 05-08-2020 09:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Isle of Wight (Post 15336942)
That TH has become F, V or D, le has become w, we has become a

Da fing about a coupw of playas like macarfy is dey didnít fink dat overs are much betta.

Ah well Ah hink aw a they diddies ur pure shayte, orraight?

Timbo 05-08-2020 09:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Isle of Wight (Post 15336942)
That TH has become F, V or D, le has become w, we has become a

Da fing about a coupw of playas like macarfy is dey didnít fink dat overs are much betta.

Agree with you

El Aguila 05-08-2020 10:07 PM

Th has been pronounced as “f” in south London as long as I’ve been alive.

Hedgehog 05-08-2020 10:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by El Aguila (Post 15337110)
Th has been pronounced as ďfĒ in south London as long as Iíve been alive.

I still can't say 33 properly...

Blind_Eagle 05-08-2020 10:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PeterH (Post 15337055)
There is/was (it moved premises) a pub called Flannery's. There were a few middle aged and older ex pat regulars there and that was their life.

Found at the same outside tables from Happy Hour to almost closing (2am) every night. And then occasionally off with one of the night ladies, if they hadn't drunk too much.

I guess they enjoyed it, but you can't help feeling that they were failures in life overall.

You think that someone, who can afford to piss it up from happy hour until 2am, seven days a week with enough money left over to seek comfort from the girls on 7th Avenue every now and again, in the sun, for the rest of their lives is a failure in life?

:supergrin:

west country boy 05-08-2020 10:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by El Aguila (Post 15337110)
Th has been pronounced as “f” in south London as long as I’ve been alive.

Yeah, I thought it was an odd thing for a 59 year old to suddenly pick up on.

big bad John 05-08-2020 10:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by west country boy (Post 15337212)
Yeah, I thought it was an od thing for a 59 year old to suddenly pick up on.

Too much time spent gazing at screens and not enough on the street.

big bad John 05-08-2020 11:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by weltklasse (Post 15336852)
shit attempts at being funny (see above)

Oh dear. My apologies, I forgot all about you living in the rough and tumble environment of Horsham, Sussex. Now that you have been included in the survey the revised figures are no longer 18.99% but have jumped to 19%. Congratulation you little cling film bugger-er you.:love:

KYLIE MINEAGLE 06-08-2020 12:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hedgehog (Post 15337112)
I still can't say 33 properly...

I still have trouble with firty fousand feathers in a frushes froat.

PeterH 06-08-2020 12:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blind_Eagle (Post 15337173)
You think that someone, who can afford to piss it up from happy hour until 2am, seven days a week with enough money left over to seek comfort from the girls on 7th Avenue every now and again, in the sun, for the rest of their lives is a failure in life?

:supergrin:

It is not the same as having a loving family and someone to grow old with.

PeterH 06-08-2020 12:28 AM

Th doesn't appear in Spanish. Although Spaniards say Thapato instead of Zapato.

I torture my students with 333,333 and combinations of 343,345 etc..

Mother F uc ker is another good one. Maybe that is why I got sacked LOL

They have trouble with W as well - specifically Would...

Good you like....

Repeat What, Where, When, Where, Why, Good.

CT_Palace 06-08-2020 05:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PeterH (Post 15337316)
Th doesn't appear in Spanish. Although Spaniards say Thapato instead of Zapato.

I torture my students with 333,333 and combinations of 343,345 etc..

Mother F uc ker is another good one. Maybe that is why I got sacked LOL

They have trouble with W as well - specifically Would...

Good you like....

Repeat What, Where, When, Where, Why, Good.

"There's some good wood. Would you like some?" Always get's 'em. :D

CT_Palace 06-08-2020 05:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PeterH (Post 15337044)
You wer planning to move from that condominium. I would suggest you look at getting out of Santiago a bit.

A nice bit of land etc..

Work out your finances, and take advantage of managers probably a lot happier to take video classes.

Plenty of great land opportunities for a good price near me. Still.

Plus, I am close to Valpo if you fancied getting back into container consulting.

It's a possibility, although I'm more tempted by finding somewhere quiet that's mountain rather than beach.

JJ 06-08-2020 06:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PeterH (Post 15337316)
Th doesn't appear in Spanish. Although Spaniards say Thapato instead of Zapato.

I torture my students with 333,333 and combinations of 343,345 etc..

Mother F uc ker is another good one. Maybe that is why I got sacked LOL

They have trouble with W as well - specifically Would...

Good you like....

Repeat What, Where, When, Where, Why, Good.

I just had significant flashbacks to watching (the now probably deemed highly inappropriate / racist stereotyping) Mind Your Language from the late 70s.

RazorsEdge 06-08-2020 06:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hedgehog (Post 15337112)
I still can't say 33 properly...

Firty free?

KYLIE MINEAGLE 06-08-2020 06:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JJ (Post 15337356)
I just had significant flashbacks to watching (the now probably deemed highly inappropriate / racist stereotyping) Mind Your Language from the late 70s.

Second time someone had reffered to that show in 3 hours.

chateauferret 06-08-2020 07:25 AM

/
Quote:

Originally Posted by PeterH (Post 15337316)
Th doesn't appear in Spanish. Although Spaniards say Thapato instead of Zapato.

I torture my students with 333,333 and combinations of 343,345 etc..

Mother F uc ker is another good one. Maybe that is why I got sacked LOL

They have trouble with W as well - specifically Would...

Good you like....

Repeat What, Where, When, Where, Why, Good.

I well remember Citizen Smifff of the Tooting Popular Front. "One F or two?" "Free". And how well it went down with his girlfriend's father who was played by the bloke who was Groutie in Porridge.

Now this "th" sound isn't very common in at least the European branches of Indo-European any more. It used to be. The sound in Spanish is an innovation within the Romance group, it developed from the hard 'c' in Latin which branched many different ways: "Latin caelum (sky, heaven), pronounced [ˈkai̯lu(m)] with an initial [k], became Italian cielo [ˈtʃɛlo], Romanian cer [tʃer], Spanish cielo [ˈθjelo]/[ˈsjelo], French ciel [sjɛl], Catalan cel [ˈsɛɫ], and Portuguese cťu [ˈsɛw]" (Wikipedia, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Romanc...ges#Consonants). Then of course not all branches of Spanish took that change, the South American varieties generally kept s and so mostly did Catalan. There is no truth in the myth attributing it to a king who had a lisp; the s was retained in some contexts, cf. siento 'I feel' and ciento 'hundred'.

A similar sound used to be ubiquitous in Germanic languages ranging from Gothic to Old English where it was generally written as a thorn, Ģ. Some like Old English had a voiced version written as an eth, ū. Mostly this was replaced with dentals t and d respectively but they were conserved in English and Icelandic only (English that, Icelandic Ģaū but German das). Even in more modern loan words German for example removes the fricative even though preserving spelling, as in Mathematik, pronounced 'mattemahtik'.

The sound also occurs in Greek (θάλασσα 'sea'), the Celtic languages (Welsh iaith 'language') and in many non-Indo-European languages and was also available in Latin and medieval Slavonic languages which since lost it. There is seemingly a general tendency for it to disappear over time. However, it does appear to decay more commonly to t rather than to f as currently seems to be the case in some varieties of English, in particular in the south and east of England.

Isle of Wight 06-08-2020 10:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hedgehog (Post 15337112)
I still can't say 33 properly...

Can you say their ?

evvo111 06-08-2020 10:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PeterH (Post 15337316)
Th doesn't appear in Spanish. Although Spaniards say Thapato instead of Zapato.

I torture my students with 333,333 and combinations of 343,345 etc..

Mother F uc ker is another good one. Maybe that is why I got sacked LOL

They have trouble with W as well - specifically Would...

Good you like....

Repeat What, Where, When, Where, Why, Good.

'How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?'

The answer on Wiki is 'A woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood'.

Trolley 06-08-2020 11:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by evvo111 (Post 15337519)
'How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?'

The answer on Wiki is 'A woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood'.

Almost lost my dentures trying to say that.Which leads me on to some lovely chap who was known as "Dentures Don" for obvious reasons.He used to get really annoyed when some people used to "Take the Michael" about him wearing them.:wallbash:

Latvian 06-08-2020 11:16 AM

I noticed when working in Victoria ticket office than any customers with Spanish as their mother tongue would pronounce 'Gatwick' as 'Ga-witch'. I don't know a lot of Spanish but is the letter 'K' never used?

I put it down to the fact it has been misread and they treated it like a 'Greenwich', or 'Norwich'?

El Aguila 06-08-2020 11:21 AM

The “c” is hard in Spanish except before “e” or “I”. It’s more likely they’ve misread it or are trying to pre-empt some preposterous English pronunciation, as you say.

Trolley 06-08-2020 11:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by El Aguila (Post 15337553)
The ďcĒ is hard in Spanish except before ďeĒ or ďIĒ. Itís more likely theyíve misread it or are trying to pre-empt some preposterous English pronunciation, as you say.

We pronounce the Real Madrid stadium as the "Ber ner bow" whereas when my good self was in Madrid, the lady at the Metro ticket office pronounced it "Ber ner bay you" and I have pronounced it as such ever since.:hi:

Purepalace 06-08-2020 11:31 AM

Talking of pronunciations don't get me started on Bodicea.

Reps AJ 06-08-2020 11:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Purepalace (Post 15337564)
Talking of pronunciations don't get me started on Bodicea.

Boudicca

Purepalace 06-08-2020 11:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Reps AJ (Post 15337568)
Boudicca

Yeah when did that become a thing?

Maz 06-08-2020 11:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Purepalace (Post 15337572)
Yeah when did that become a thing?

Itís Boadicea that is incorrect, probably a Victorian thing. Tacitus actually called her Boudicca, although itís worth noting that hers was not a name but rather a title, meaning ďsomeone who is victoriousĒ, or something like that.

Isle of Wight 06-08-2020 11:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Purepalace (Post 15337564)
Talking of pronunciations don't get me started on Bodicea.

I'm with you on that one ;)



even if we are wrong.

Purepalace 06-08-2020 11:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maz (Post 15337577)
Itís Boadicea that is incorrect, probably a Victorian thing. Tacitus actually called her Boudicca, although itís worth noting that hers was not a name but rather a title, meaning ďsomeone who is victoriousĒ, or something like that.

I like the hare up the skirt story.

Purepalace 06-08-2020 11:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Isle of Wight (Post 15337580)
I'm with you on that one ;)



even if we are wrong.

If I ever see Miss Morgan who taught me that 50 years ago she'll get a piece of mind :)

Isle of Wight 06-08-2020 11:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Purepalace (Post 15337581)
I like the hare up the skirt story.

Shouldn't this post be in "Things that make you happy"?

Reps AJ 06-08-2020 12:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Purepalace (Post 15337572)
Yeah when did that become a thing?

I recently listened to it being discussed on Greg Jenner's excellent "Youíre Dead To Me" history podcast. As Maz mentioned its a mistranslation that has now been un-mistranslated

evvo111 06-08-2020 01:04 PM

You are all wrong 'her' correct name was Bob. 6ft 5, built like Hannibal's elephants, a beard that would make Jedinak jealous and hung like a Blue Whale. First trans chieftain ever.

chateauferret 06-08-2020 03:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Purepalace (Post 15337572)
Yeah when did that become a thing?

About 55 AD.

Apparently the Welsh form of the name (it will have come from the Britonnic of those days) is Baddug which means "victorious" (not "how dare you poo in the drawing room you vile animal").

PeterH 06-08-2020 07:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JJ (Post 15337356)
I just had significant flashbacks to watching (the now probably deemed highly inappropriate / racist stereotyping) Mind Your Language from the late 70s.

I base my classes around that programme. The madcap antics of the students are more or less the same.

PeterH 06-08-2020 07:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Latvian (Post 15337549)
I noticed when working in Victoria ticket office than any customers with Spanish as their mother tongue would pronounce 'Gatwick' as 'Ga-witch'. I don't know a lot of Spanish but is the letter 'K' never used?

I put it down to the fact it has been misread and they treated it like a 'Greenwich', or 'Norwich'?

In the Chilean version of a game aired by BBC and ITV networks - The Alphabet Show? called Pasapalabra. The final game, featuring a circle of the letters of the alphabet, doesn't have the letter K.

El Aguila 06-08-2020 07:43 PM

They use the “k” a lot in Basque. To form the plural, for a start.

Maidstoned Eagle 06-08-2020 08:04 PM

Just been explaining the difference between jam, ham and marmalade and why mermalada is not jam.

weltklasse 06-08-2020 08:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by big bad John (Post 15337252)
Oh dear. My apologies, I forgot all about you living in the rough and tumble environment of Horsham, Sussex. Now that you have been included in the survey the revised figures are no longer 18.99% but have jumped to 19%. Congratulation you little cling film bugger-er you.:love:

People who double down on their shit attempts at trying and failing to be amusing.

Olympian2 06-08-2020 08:29 PM

BBC journalists who reassure me that they’ll ‘keep me across’ a story. Just speak normally & keep me updated, eh?

CT_Palace 06-08-2020 08:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maidstoned Eagle (Post 15338237)
Just been explaining the difference between jam, ham and marmalade and why mermalada is not jam.

Mind you I did once hear a gringo ask for soap in his sandwich

the digger 06-08-2020 09:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maidstoned Eagle (Post 15338237)
Just been explaining the difference between jam, ham and marmalade and why mermalada is not jam.

You can't marmalade (or ham) your cock in your missus?

Maz 06-08-2020 09:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joe85
Ok Iím gonna compromise and get an emerg ASRís appointment tomorrow.

Thanks all.




All good, Joe?

beef 06-08-2020 09:55 PM

Pronouncing chocolate as 'choclit'

Trolley 06-08-2020 11:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by beef (Post 15338336)
Pronouncing chocolate as 'choclit'

Those people who don't want to sound rude and as such do not use a word meaning 'Testacles' but decide that 'Billhooks' sounds better.:frown:

Hedgehog 07-08-2020 03:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joe85 (Post 15335836)
Ok Iím gonna compromise and get an emerg ASRís appointment tomorrow.

Thanks all.


Any news yet Joe?

Hope no news is good news.

PeterH 07-08-2020 03:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maidstoned Eagle (Post 15338237)
Just been explaining the difference between jam, ham and marmalade and why mermalada is not jam.

Do you want to add the American jelly onto your list?

Memalada here is all sweet preservatives of this type.

I tell my students that marmalade in The UK tends to be citic and jam tends to be fruits of the forest or berries.

And I tell them about Paddington, who has a statue in Lima.

Joe85 07-08-2020 05:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hedgehog (Post 15338478)
Any news yet Joe?

Hope no news is good news.


I canít get one at the moment. I had a chat with them on the phone (and I was honest). They donít seem too fussed. Will try again tomorrow. However, bit of a confession:

Iíve mentioned before on the running thread (this will sound really bad) but historically Iíve had issues after intense workouts where the muscles across my whole body essentially go into severe muscle contraction mode (like a seizure, but Iím fully conscious). Itís very hard to describe but I can say it is the worst pain I have ever experienced. The first feeling is this low voltage (think 9v battery on tongue) passing through my hands, it works itís way up my arms whilst the voltage increases to the point it hurts. It then spreads across the chest and into my face and legs. Agony at this point. I lose all dexterity in my fingers, my arms stop working, my legs stop working. My finger and thumbs ball in to my fists so hard they feel like theyíre going to break, my arms curl up into my biceps, my legs and feet go straight as an arrow, I lose the ability to speak, my jaw locks to one side my face feels like Iím having a stroke, I end up lying on the floor, moaning for someone to unfold my arms and fingers because the pain is so excruciating. My breathing becomes incredibly shallow because my chest feels like thereís someone sitting on it and I just lie there taking short, sharp breaths just waiting for the pain to pass. Eventually, after a period of about 5-10 minutes, I can feel the voltage subsiding and Iím then able to feel the blood surging round the veins in my arms, chest, face and legs. Feeling returns to the face, arms, legs, fingers chest etc and relief just washes over you.

And like it never hapeened, itís gone. Iím left completely and utterly exhausted, though and end up needing about an hour to recover the energy to move.

This has happened to me on three occasions, the last occurrence over 5 months ago now. The first time, i was in the middle of a post-work out poop, where I crashed through a changing room toilet cubicle door and onto the floor with shit in my arse and my pants round my ankles. Some absolute superstars came to my rescue, pulled my shorts up, straightened me and pinned me down till it passed.

The second time I was in the same changing room but bollock naked and showering. After the first one I knew exactly what it was when the onset started. I tried my best to dry myself with the towel and ride it out alone in the shower, hoping no one would need to come to my aid again. I lost use of my arms before I got the chance. Once again the same people came to my rescue. Mortifying, I can tell you. I also lost the ability to lift the toes in my right foot for about 3/4 months after this one.

The third time I was fully clothed and some friends helped me ride it out but that time I actually thought I was dying.

Anyway, after the 3rd one, I visited the doctor. (I booked it after the 2nd one but COVID had hit and appointments were hard to come by.) Explained all in detail and showed him how I couldnít lift my foot. They took bloods/urine. All came back perfectly fine, however he booked my in for an MRI saying he wasnít sure what it was and wanted to rule out brain issues.

Again due to COVID, the closest appointment was Jan 2021. That then got moved forward to August but only last week was cancelled pending a new date.

Now, since the gyms closed it hasnít happened, and at that time it was happening I was putting serious stress on my body by lifting and running in the same session. I honestly think my body just couldnít cope. Since the gyms have closed Iíve done absolutely zero weightlifting and as if by magic, the ďseizuresĒ stopped. Doctor had absolutely no idea what these ďepisodesĒ where and actually asked me to ask someone to film it if it happened again.

Also my foot has completely returned to normal.

So, yeh. Very long post. Apologies. Itís difficult to only give a small amount of detail and not sound like Iím ignoring your excellent advice.

TL:DR - Iíve got a bit of a history with this (although this is slightly unrelated) and am currently waiting for an MRI.

Iíll admit I am less concerned about the recent black outs (the first one was a while back) as it really does just feel like a mild hypertension (low blood pressure - 91/55 and standing up too quick) but I am trying to get an appointment.


Absolutely terrified of ever having one of these seizures again, though. Without someone there to straighten me out, the pain would be unbearable. Iíve been very fortunate on all occasions to have 3-4 people come to my aid. Probably never going to lift weights again.


Cheers.

Hedgehog 07-08-2020 05:34 AM

Wow Joe! I appreciate your honesty in your post, and I'm sure we all wish you nothing but a healthy outcome.

I'm a heck of a supporter of the NHS, and obviously they are stretched at this time, but they seem to be dropping the ball with you.

All the best...

Joe85 07-08-2020 05:54 AM

Cheers. Weird situation but it’s been so long I’d kinda put it to the back of my mind.

By the way, not looking or fishing for sympathy, just feel I’ve opened a bit of a can of worms and don’t want people to think I’m just ignoring their advice.

Hedgehog 07-08-2020 06:19 AM

Personally don't take it as fishing for sympathy... and sounds like you are, and have been, trying to get it figured out.

I know it's no laughing matter, but I did smile at the doctors request to have someone film you if you have another episode... I'm struggling to see how that sequence of events happens!

CT_Palace 07-08-2020 06:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hedgehog (Post 15338492)
Personally don't take it as fishing for sympathy... and sounds like you are, and have been, trying to get it figured out.

I know it's no laughing matter, but I did smile at the doctors request to have someone film you if you have another episode... I'm struggling to see how that sequence of events happens!

At the very least the video might prove essential in catching SC rifling through Joe's pockets after his tenner whilst Joe is out for the count.

Cynthia Zeigler 07-08-2020 07:06 AM

However, it seems like this thread did a great job and was a place to release stress for everyone. Ha ha ;D Actually there is no end If I also reply about my annoying things. But we must ignore negative thoughts. Have a good day all. ;)

Maidstoned Eagle 07-08-2020 07:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joe85 (Post 15338490)
Cheers. Weird situation but itís been so long Iíd kinda put it to the back of my mind.

By the way, not looking or fishing for sympathy, just feel Iíve opened a bit of a can of worms and donít want people to think Iím just ignoring their advice.

That could be Lupus, got a guy I know over here and he has similar seizures.

Maidstoned Eagle 07-08-2020 07:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PeterH (Post 15338479)
Do you want to add the American jelly onto your list?

Memalada here is all sweet preservatives of this type.

I am quick to stamp out any Americanisms and pronunciation.

Yes, memalada is used for all jams etc here, they just get confused over the jam, jamon false friends.

Sharkba1t 07-08-2020 08:46 AM

Joe, did these seizures occur after or soon after exercising? And what kind of exercising do you do? Is it all gym work, weights?

DANGERMOUSE 07-08-2020 08:55 AM

And, do you have private medical insurance? You might be able to get a consultation sooner than the NHS.

Maz 07-08-2020 09:38 AM

All the best, Joe.

davech 07-08-2020 11:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joe85 (Post 15338490)
Cheers. Weird situation but itís been so long Iíd kinda put it to the back of my mind.

By the way, not looking or fishing for sympathy, just feel Iíve opened a bit of a can of worms and donít want people to think Iím just ignoring their advice.

Joe.

Thanks for the update. Let's hope they can get you sorted asap.

All my 3 heart clinics are postponed atm - I had a phone appointment of he ilk "How are you...What is your blood pressure... OK, good - keep taking the tablets, we'll see you sometime". Great. Hopefully they get to see you sooner rather than later.

And, just to be a pedant, 91/55 is hypotension - low blood pressure, as opposed to hypertension - high pressure. 91/55 is low; after one clinic/procedure the hospital would not discharge me until mine went up.

Another silly question - are you drinking enough? Dehydration can lower blood pressure, and if yours is naturally low, you might get more problems. Stand up/get out of bed slowly; wait a few seconds before setting off. I don't mean to preach, only saying from my own experiences.

Good Luck :p

Joe85 07-08-2020 11:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by davech (Post 15338652)
Joe.

Thanks for the update. Let's hope they can get you sorted asap.

All my 3 heart clinics are postponed atm - I had a phone appointment of he ilk "How are you...What is your blood pressure... OK, good - keep taking the tablets, we'll see you sometime". Great. Hopefully they get to see you sooner rather than later.

And, just to be a pedant, 91/55 is hypotension - low blood pressure, as opposed to hypertension - high pressure. 91/55 is low; after one clinic/procedure the hospital would not discharge me until mine went up.

Another silly question - are you drinking enough? Dehydration can lower blood pressure, and if yours is naturally low, you might get more problems. Stand up/get out of bed slowly; wait a few seconds before setting off. I don't mean to preach, only saying from my own experiences.

Good Luck :p

Thanks (and for the correction). :) I’ve always just assumed it may be a hydration issue. Doctor did indicate it may be a body salts/electrolyte imbalance. I started taking these water-soluble hydration tablets from boots as well as drinking more water.


To be fair, light headedness/light blurry vision is fairly regular. I have a habit of jumping up from sitting down and rushing off to do whatever it is I was planning to do.

chateauferret 07-08-2020 11:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trolley (Post 15338425)
Those people who don't want to sound rude and as such do not use a word meaning 'Testacles' but decide that 'Billhooks' sounds better.:frown:

Well great big bolshy yarblokos to you, sir.

BERT'S HEAD 07-08-2020 11:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joe85 (Post 15338665)
Thanks (and for the correction). :) Iíve always just assumed it may be a hydration issue. Doctor did indicate it may be a body salts/electrolyte imbalance. I started taking these water-soluble hydration tablets from boots as well as drinking more water.


To be fair, light headedness/light blurry vision is fairly regular. I have a habit of jumping up from sitting down and rushing off to do whatever it is I was planning to do.

All the best. Bollockybill has a lot to answer for.

Martin H 07-08-2020 12:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joe85 (Post 15338665)
Thanks (and for the correction). :) Iíve always just assumed it may be a hydration issue. Doctor did indicate it may be a body salts/electrolyte imbalance. I started taking these water-soluble hydration tablets from boots as well as drinking more water.


To be fair, light headedness/light blurry vision is fairly regular. I have a habit of jumping up from sitting down and rushing off to do whatever it is I was planning to do.

Just keep the pressure on them Joe and look after yourself. We have had news of a few (different) friends/ex-colleagues in recent weeks who have each made the mistake of letting things ride because the nhs are already busy and you can surely wait but you really shouldnít until they are sure what it is. It has put all 3 of them in far worse situations and one in particular has missed out on treatment options by doing so and unlikely to come home again now :(

So keep pushing however unnatural that may be for you.

I have massive respect for the concept of the NHS and the many of the individuals in it but itís collective reluctance over much of the past 50 years to embrace change has left it staggeringly inefficient (generalisation) and it relies on the patient steering a way through it, rather than it steering you. It is a dumb thing that responds when you approach it, it doesnít case manage well at all.

Trolley 07-08-2020 12:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chateauferret (Post 15338669)
Well great big bolshy yarblokos to you, sir.

I am afraid you missed out the word "Hairy".:lux:
Some of course would pen "Hirsute billhooks".

Stavros 69 07-08-2020 01:19 PM

Get well soon Joe.

Hedgehog 07-08-2020 05:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joe85 (Post 15338665)
... To be fair, light headedness/light blurry vision is fairly regular. I have a habit of jumping up from sitting down...

Fortunately something you don't have to do very often when watching Palace... :rolleyes:

bubbs11 07-08-2020 05:39 PM

The media endlessly wishing Mancheater City well in Europe tonight.

Joe85 07-08-2020 05:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hedgehog (Post 15339253)
Fortunately something you don't have to do very often when watching Palace... :rolleyes:


Ha, excellent. :D

Timbo 07-08-2020 05:54 PM

The Welsh version of the Go Compare Man

kayjay 08-08-2020 03:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joe85 (Post 15338665)
Thanks (and for the correction). :) Iíve always just assumed it may be a hydration issue. Doctor did indicate it may be a body salts/electrolyte imbalance. I started taking these water-soluble hydration tablets from boots as well as drinking more water.


To be fair, light headedness/light blurry vision is fairly regular. I have a habit of jumping up from sitting down and rushing off to do whatever it is I was planning to do.

Old mate of mine recently got up too quickly to get off the train, blacked out and hit his head on the platform. In a coma for 3 weeks, brain surgery to relieve the swelling, unable to communicate for a couple of months.
Back on facebook now with no long term memory loss. Has had random fainting spells over the last 30 years but we all thought they were alcohol related.

PeterH 08-08-2020 03:26 AM

On a lighter note, I had a few similar experiences with trains, but no fainting and lots of alcohol involved. 20 plus years back following heavier/later than expected nights in the smoke..I used to try and save on a black cab fee by getting to Victoria.

A train around 1 am to East Croydon usually made an unscheduled stop for railway workers at Selhurst. Don't know if it still runs. It was an old style, self opening door,
type and maybe they don't exist anymore.

As others will know, there is quite a height difference for those unscheduled trains and Selhurst platforms. I have caused some guffaws, hurt myself a little, and damaged a coupe of suits tumbling on that platform.

Still taxi money saved paid for an Emek's.

Maidstoned Eagle 08-08-2020 09:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bubbs11 (Post 15339279)
The media endlessly wishing Mancheater City well in Europe tonight.

They beat the ultimate cheats in Real VARdrid last night, thatll do for me.

Latvian 08-08-2020 10:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bubbs11 (Post 15339279)
The media endlessly wishing Mancheater City well in Europe tonight.

Part of me wants them to win the Champs League and Wolves the Europa. I am sure VAR will prevent it but they have have barely recieved any punishment despite taking the piss out of FFP.

Prince Phillip 08-08-2020 11:36 AM

The BBC using the World Snooker Championship as some sort of presenters' training ground for CBeebies.

ExiledStirling 08-08-2020 11:45 AM

Buying a sewing kit containing needles where the eye is far too small to take the thread supplied 😩

west country boy 08-08-2020 05:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Timbo (Post 15339302)
The Welsh version of the Go Compare Man

He is the Go Compare man (doesnít stop him being annoying though).

Brett 08-08-2020 05:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ExiledStirling (Post 15339934)
Buying a sewing kit containing needles where the eye is far too small to take the thread supplied 😩

Always a kick in the crochet

evvo111 08-08-2020 05:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by west country boy (Post 15340447)
He is the Go Compare man (doesnít stop him being annoying though).

He really is annoying. Not only that he is a chunky vandal as well https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/123451...ed-henry-viii/

Hedgehog 08-08-2020 05:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ExiledStirling (Post 15339934)
Buying a sewing kit containing needles where the eye is far too small to take the thread supplied 😩

My Mum used to be able to thread them like that somehow...

Pat of the Palace 08-08-2020 05:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ExiledStirling (Post 15339934)
Buying a sewing kit containing needles where the eye is far too small to take the thread supplied 😩

Maybe you need a set of needle files?

cappuccinoeagle 08-08-2020 10:38 PM

Denise Van Outenís trout pout.

chateauferret 08-08-2020 11:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brett (Post 15340459)
Always a kick in the crochet

It makes your fingers quaver.

Happy Arthur 08-08-2020 11:42 PM

People moaning about the handful of hot days in a UK summer.

Maidstoned Eagle 09-08-2020 12:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chateauferret (Post 15340887)
It makes your fingers quaver.

Don't be a prick.

CT_Palace 09-08-2020 12:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ExiledStirling (Post 15339934)
Buying a sewing kit containing needles where the eye is far too small to take the thread supplied 😩

there's never a camel around when you need one

Son of Selhurst 09-08-2020 01:45 AM

Not being able to report what someone actually said in a news report

Brett 09-08-2020 02:05 AM

Grown men using the phrase "still rocking". As in "I'm still rocking the same pair of 501's I bought in 1982".

If any of you do this, put yer f~cking face in a meatgrinder.


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 05:17 PM.

Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright ©2000 - 2022, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.