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-   -   Things that annoy you (https://www.cpfc.org/forums/showthread.php?t=255975)

weltklasse 22-04-2016 02:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Supa Pard (Post 12944467)
Horrible monkeyfied bastard, isn't it?
Carol Kirkwood too. I've been vilified by family and friends with regards my personal views towards her.
I will not budge one inch on that one though.
I'm sorry but I won't!

we really didn't need to know that you have a one incher.

Jim Cannon 22-04-2016 06:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Supa Pard (Post 12944411)
Please tell me he was picked on daily at school!
I surely hope he was.

Not that I recall

Jim Cannon 22-04-2016 06:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mroakley9 (Post 12945124)
Players who celebrate excessively after scoring a penalty that they didn't earn

Far worse are players who celebrate excessively after an own goal is scored. Unless of course it's anyone scoring an OG against us and we can celebrate as much as we like

Yoda 22-04-2016 06:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cappuccinoeagle (Post 12945035)
Has anyone posted Michael McIntyre? Just in case, I will.

Also, Nicholas Witchell, something snidey and cynical about him, Prince Charles got it right when he called him an awful man

Whenever I watch Witchell I get the sense that he hates his job and considers reporting on the royals to be beneath him.

I wonder if the BBC and Witchell would like to move him to a different job in news, but are now stubbornly carrying on because they wouldn't want to give the impression that they changed their Royal correspondent in response to Prince Charles's hatred!

Chocky 23-04-2016 06:16 PM

Witchell just loathes himself for being a ginger and takes it out on everyone else as all gingers do.

elgin eagle 24-04-2016 09:16 AM

ryanair plane landings

cappuccinoeagle 24-04-2016 12:14 PM

Fellaini
Van Gaal
Sturridge's goal celebration

Breaking rocks 24-04-2016 01:22 PM

MOTD2 Extra now! Starting with Man U despite they had MOTD last night to wank off over them.

20 minutes on Everton Man U, 5 minutes on Watford and us and then onto Liverpool.

It is our day you bastards!

Oldtown Eagle 25-04-2016 05:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chocky (Post 12947229)
Witchell just loathes himself for being a ginger and takes it out on everyone else as all gingers do.

;) steady on, some of my best friends are ginger.

jobiinthelastmi 25-04-2016 05:39 PM

Fans watching football through their smart phones.

Just use your eyes?:confused:

alf 25-04-2016 05:45 PM

The Union Flag (Jack) being flown/hung upside down :grrr:

Shipp Ahoy! 25-04-2016 06:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by alf (Post 12951896)
The Union Flag (Jack) being flown/hung upside down :grrr:

:D

Impressive if you notice it :p

Bones14 26-04-2016 07:04 AM

Internet hackers. Bastards had a go last night, duly told them to **** off. They're bloody smooth and quick. Took me more than a moment to cotton on. *****.

Oli28 26-04-2016 12:51 PM

Having 4 weeks to wait til the cup final

Supa Pard 26-04-2016 01:38 PM

People that walk around in t shirts and shorts when it's sunny but 12 degrees.
I'm looking mainly at postmen.

cappuccinoeagle 26-04-2016 01:42 PM

The One Show last night basically a free ad for a new superhero film, cringworthy

mroakley9 26-04-2016 02:56 PM

EA

art malice 26-04-2016 02:58 PM

That dramatic divorce ad on the radio for Cordell and Cordell, with advice for men 'going forward in their children's lives'. Fvck off

CT_Palace 26-04-2016 03:40 PM

Totally deceiving claims/stats in adverts.
Lifelock, an online identity theft protection company stating in their ads that 1in 4 people have experienced identity theft.
1 in 4 ??? Really?? How do they work that out anyway?

Right at the bottom of their webpage they also, conveniently, state " no on can prevent all identity theft" presumably that includes them.

smileysmith 26-04-2016 03:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chocky (Post 12947229)
Witchell just loathes himself for being a ginger and takes it out on everyone else as all gingers do.

Poor Streety.

Chocky 26-04-2016 08:41 PM

The overplayed Jacamo advert with a drummer and Freddy Wankoff being a sp*stic. They should've saved their money and got a chimp to jump around.

pallet 28-04-2016 01:01 PM

People who decide to try and and cross the road when there is a zebra crossing a foot away.

viking's no1 28-04-2016 01:51 PM

Do you mean like this?

https://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgu...act=mrc&uact=8

Wenda Simms 28-04-2016 06:47 PM

Noisy people while I'm asleep!

chrisophiex 28-04-2016 06:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pallet (Post 12956705)
People who decide to try and and cross the road when there is a zebra crossing a foot away.

I'd cross the road pretty sharpish if there was a zebra crossing a foot away.

Pat of the Palace 29-04-2016 12:07 AM

Divvy chavs who insist on walking around with Bluetooth speakers playing their minging choons.

elgin eagle 29-04-2016 12:13 AM

Snow blizzards on the 28th of April when you're back on summer tyres. Global warming my arse.

WLYWLYAWYPWF 29-04-2016 12:28 AM

Getting bitch slapped around the face by the collar of your own jacket during what should have been a calming walk along the seafront. F*cking wind today was a joke.

Worksop Palace 29-04-2016 03:39 PM

50 year old + fat blokes wearing football shirts in the crowd at the snooker

Grow the feck up you dimwits

Maidstoned Eagle 29-04-2016 04:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Worksop Palace (Post 12958542)
50 year old + fat blokes wearing football shirts in the crowd at the snooker

Grow the feck up you dimwits

Is it ok for me to wear one when watching the finals?

art malice 29-04-2016 04:32 PM

Me shouting 'up yours' to no one in particular walking into Tesco and everyone turning round.

'It's not about you,
It's not about yoooooo
Tesco shoppers,
It's not about you.'

Worksop Palace 29-04-2016 04:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maidstoned Eagle (Post 12958589)
Is it ok for me to wear one when watching the finals?

No don't do it.

Football shirts at football matches

Chocky 29-04-2016 05:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by art malice (Post 12958639)
Me shouting 'up yours' to no one in particular walking into Tesco and everyone turning round.

Sounds like you're suffering from 'Polite Tourette's'.

RUDDY SAUSAGES! NOT VERY GOOD NESCAFÉ! MUM YOU DAFTY!

art malice 29-04-2016 05:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chocky (Post 12958691)
Sounds like you're suffering from 'Polite Tourette's'.

RUDDY SAUSAGES! NOT VERY GOOD NESCAFÉ! MUM YOU DAFTY!

Fvck off

RobertCPFC 29-04-2016 06:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Worksop Palace (Post 12958542)
50 year old + fat blokes wearing football shirts in the crowd at the snooker

Grow the feck up you dimwits

Anyone wearing the I love snooker t shirts is even worse.

Chocky 29-04-2016 06:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RobertCPFC (Post 12958774)
Anyone wearing the I love snooker t shirts is even worse.

No T shirt is worse than this.

http://img.niadd.com/funnypictures/r...evelsbutfu.jpg

DocSavage 29-04-2016 06:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chocky (Post 12958779)

i beg to differ what about those sold by brighton or charlton?

Chocky 29-04-2016 06:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DocSavage (Post 12958794)
i beg to differ what about those sold by brighton or charlton?

Fair point.

http://www.whoateallthepies.tv/brighton%20nobo.jpg

cappuccinoeagle 29-04-2016 11:34 PM

Ken Livingstone,a complete and utter tool

chrisophiex 30-04-2016 12:04 AM

English chat shows when the audience cheer at the titles of the guest's latest or previous shows/films.

Very American.

palaceporky 30-04-2016 01:15 AM

Roundabouts...especially the mini type, where people stare at each other looking who is going to go first. I have a favourite one near to where I live, that has a good few hundred metre straight view, where I can see the other twats glaring at each other, which I then approach at speed, just as every side is edging out to then shit themself as I bomb straight across.

Breaking rocks 30-04-2016 01:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by palaceporky (Post 12959309)
Roundabouts...especially the mini type, where people stare at each other looking who is going to go first. I have a favourite one near to where I live, that has a good few hundred metre straight view, where I can see the other twats glaring at each other, which I then approach at speed, just as every side is edging out to then shit themself as I bomb straight across.

Wow.

palaceporky 30-04-2016 01:45 AM

Ooooooh look the little stalker 'Aching Cock' is about.

danpalace07 30-04-2016 02:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chrisophiex (Post 12959266)
English chat shows when the audience cheer at the titles of the guest's latest or previous shows/films.

Very American.

chat shows in general. If I wanted to watch some twat lick arse I'd go on redtube

the drexciyan 30-04-2016 07:46 AM

Myself, for expecting academics to work at the same pace as the rest of the universe and return a phone call in the same week. Should of known better with those ivory tower wankers.

chrisophiex 30-04-2016 09:41 AM

British singers who sing in an american accent.

Arron 30-04-2016 10:57 AM

Close-minded people who can't accept that the establishment lies to us and covers up their mistakes. People like GorBlimey, and others of his ilk.

evvo111 30-04-2016 02:55 PM

People with degrees who say I should accept their views because they have got a degree..arsewipes the lot of them :veryangry:veryangry .

jobiinthelastmi 30-04-2016 02:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by palaceporky (Post 12959309)
Roundabouts...especially the mini type, where people stare at each other looking who is going to go first. I have a favourite one near to where I live, that has a good few hundred metre straight view, where I can see the other twats glaring at each other, which I then approach at speed, just as every side is edging out to then shit themself as I bomb straight across.

Big hard man in his Audi/BMW

Arron 30-04-2016 03:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jobiinthelastmi (Post 12960057)
Big hard man in his Audi/BMW

More likely a knackered old Vauxhall. :p

cappuccinoeagle 30-04-2016 08:10 PM

Helen Lederer - annoying, unfunny
Anthony Costa

GorBlimey 30-04-2016 09:00 PM

People who think life is some kind of giant conspiracy theory and there is always someone to blame for whatever happens.

Stellavista 01-05-2016 12:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by evvo111 (Post 12960041)
People with degrees who say I should accept their views because they have got a degree..arsewipes the lot of them :veryangry:veryangry .

I had a meeting on Friday with two lawyers, on a matter entirely unrelated to the law. Could they stop banging on about being lawyers?
I'm not even sure being a lawyer is a badge of honour they should be drawing attention to. Aren't they in the same category as politicians, estate agents and bankers?
They were a right pair of thunderc*nts.

WLYWLYAWYPWF 01-05-2016 01:16 AM

Andros Townsend

Breaking rocks 01-05-2016 01:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stellavista (Post 12962529)
I had a meeting on Friday with two lawyers, on a matter entirely unrelated to the law. Could they stop banging on about being lawyers?
I'm not even sure being a lawyer is a badge of honour they should be drawing attention to. Aren't they in the same category as politicians, estate agents and bankers?
They were a right pair of thunderc*nts.

If you want to really upset them call them solicitors as opposed to the now 'cool' term lawyer.

And, if you really want to see them apoplectic then ask why they have never became a barrister.

Salad_Burnet 01-05-2016 01:24 AM

Solicitors have always been the poor relations of Lawyers. It's only solicitors who ever speak of 'fusion', for example.

CT_Palace 01-05-2016 01:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GorBlimey (Post 12961948)
People who think life is some kind of giant conspiracy theory and there is always someone to blame for whatever happens.

You mean like the "it was those Liverpool supporters who were to blame" type of blame?
Idiot.

evvo111 01-05-2016 06:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stellavista (Post 12962529)
I had a meeting on Friday with two lawyers, on a matter entirely unrelated to the law. Could they stop banging on about being lawyers?
I'm not even sure being a lawyer is a badge of honour they should be drawing attention to. Aren't they in the same category as politicians, estate agents and bankers?
They were a right pair of thunderc*nts.

I did try pointing out to oh so mighty degree holder that George Osbourne has a degree in history and I wouldn't take anything he said seriously either, she got a bit upset at that, but she's still an arsewipe (as are most lawyers, politicians, estate agents and bankers).

GorBlimey 01-05-2016 08:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by palaceporky (Post 12959320)
Ooooooh look the little stalker 'Aching Cock' is about.

Aching Cock is an IRA apologist who is not even Irish.

Very strange individual.

Marki 01-05-2016 08:28 AM

Being wide awake at 6am on a Sunday morning.

Stellavista 01-05-2016 10:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marki (Post 12962755)
Being wide awake at 6am on a Sunday morning.

It must be the excitement of yet another great league victory yesterday.

WLYWLYAWYPWF 02-05-2016 01:50 AM

Going out expressly to buy milk, only to come home with £38 quids worth of shopping I didn't really need and no f*cking milk.

palaceporky 02-05-2016 02:05 AM

Dog slobber.
The wet feeling through your socks when you've just stood in it, after the bastard has just covered the floor, after drinking two litres of water for the 3rd time in an hour.

Nostrils 02-05-2016 08:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by palaceporky (Post 12964368)
Dog slobber.
The wet feeling through your socks when you've just stood in it, after the bastard has just covered the floor, after drinking two litres of water for the 3rd time in an hour.

Our dog barely drinks water at all. We've tried bottled and rainwater all sorts, but he only drinks about half a pint even after a long walk on a hot day. The only good thing is when he takes a dump they have the density of a lump of lead, which is very easy to pick up, although sometimes I have to break them in two to fit them in the little black bag.

Maidstoned Eagle 02-05-2016 09:55 AM

People who mark movies out of 5 when everyone else marks them out of 10

chrisophiex 02-05-2016 10:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Breaking rocks (Post 12962563)

And, if you really want to see them apoplectic then ask why they have never became a barrister.


To be honest we would all like to work at Costa.

elgin eagle 02-05-2016 10:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WLYWLYAWYPWF (Post 12964364)
Going out expressly to buy milk, only to come home with £38 quids worth of shopping I didn't really need and no f*cking milk.

:D

I've needed tea bags for 4 days and must have been in 5 shops in that period. Stupid brain.

pallet 02-05-2016 11:20 AM

Being at work on a bank holiday Monday and knowing if I go home early the bloody mother in law is there. Is like being in Saw movie.

Breaking rocks 02-05-2016 02:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chrisophiex (Post 12964580)
To be honest we would all like to work at Costa.

:D

That would be a bit of a grind.

Wolfnipplechips 02-05-2016 03:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pallet (Post 12964746)
Being at work on a bank holiday Monday and knowing if I go home early the bloody mother in law is there. Is like being in Saw movie.

I feel your pain. In fact I am living your pain.

Breaking rocks 02-05-2016 03:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GorBlimey (Post 12962747)
Aching Cock is an IRA apologist who is not even Irish.

Very strange individual.

Wtf do you know about anything?

Posting a photo that some people took offence to and others, you included, used as an opportunity to attack someone who had previously disagreed with you and your type on migrant and political threads. That makes me an IRA apologist?

How are you getting along defending the Sun and the South Yorkshire Police on the Hillsborough thread?

Or should I say still blaming the Liverpool fans for the 96 deaths you arsehole?

chrisophiex 02-05-2016 08:59 PM

People who say "Knocked it out of the park" or "Nailed it".

Or "Killed it".

Worksop Palace 02-05-2016 09:52 PM

Ray Winston

Talk properly you utter twathouse

chrisophiex 02-05-2016 09:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Worksop Palace (Post 12966421)
Ray Winston

Talk properly you utter twathouse


You smashed it.

Worksop Palace 02-05-2016 10:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chrisophiex (Post 12966432)
You smashed it.

Out the park

chrisophiex 02-05-2016 10:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Worksop Palace (Post 12966449)
Out the park


:p

Oldtown Eagle 02-05-2016 10:12 PM

Shop assistants who try to direct you to a purchase from behind the counter. "Third shelf, no left, right, no left a bit". Answer walk out I don't need it that much.

tuzza_cpfc 02-05-2016 10:14 PM

that disgusting moneysupermarket ad.

Oldtown Eagle 02-05-2016 10:18 PM

Young Chelsea, Arsenal, Spurs etc fans who only ever watch football on Sky and wouldn't know what tube station to aim for if they had a ticket lecturing me about the game and sneering at Palace.

SeanPalace84 02-05-2016 10:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chrisophiex (Post 12966273)
People who say "Knocked it out of the park" or "Nailed it".

Or "Killed it".

Yep, or when adults say words like "Awesome"

Skiddo 02-05-2016 11:37 PM

People who think others should talk properly yet use words like 'twathouse'

Little Fozzie 02-05-2016 11:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skiddo (Post 12966834)
People who think others should talk properly yet use words like 'twathouse'

:D

Isle of Wight 02-05-2016 11:42 PM

Amoy and Sarsons bottles.

Amoy because they have changed and instead of it having a narrow hole to sprinkle the sauce on, it has a huge one so it pours out everywhere and floods your rice. It is obviously so you use more and they can sell more.

Sarsons, because you now can't unscrew the lid and top up with Sainsburys own label Vinegar at half the price. Again they are obviously doing this to foil tight arses like me.


Profiteering w4nkers

Breaking rocks 02-05-2016 11:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Worksop Palace (Post 12966421)
Ray Winston

Talk properly you utter twathouse

Where's your tool?

Breaking rocks 02-05-2016 11:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Isle of Wight (Post 12966843)
Amoy and Sarsons bottles.

Amoy because they have changed and instead of it having a narrow hole to sprinkle the sauce on, it has a huge one so it pours out everywhere and floods your rice. It is obviously so you use more and they can sell more.

Sarsons, because you now can't unscrew the lid and top up with Sainsburys own label Vinegar at half the price. Again they are obviously doing this to foil tight arses like me.


Profiteering w4nkers

Bob Hoskins loved them :)

Stellavista 03-05-2016 12:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Isle of Wight (Post 12966843)
Amoy and Sarsons bottles.

Amoy because they have changed and instead of it having a narrow hole to sprinkle the sauce on, it has a huge one so it pours out everywhere and floods your rice. It is obviously so you use more and they can sell more.

Sarsons, because you now can't unscrew the lid and top up with Sainsburys own label Vinegar at half the price. Again they are obviously doing this to foil tight arses like me.


Profiteering w4nkers

Done the same thing with Blue Dragon Soy bottles. It's a f*cking disgrace.

Chocky 03-05-2016 12:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WLYWLYAWYPWF (Post 12964364)
Going out expressly to buy milk, only to come home with £38 quids worth of shopping I didn't really need and no f*cking milk.

I know what you mean except I come home with 2 black whores I don't even fancy and no milk.

Santos-er 03-05-2016 12:23 AM

People who use self service checkouts when buying Alcohol. What's the ******* point? The whole idea of them is to avoid having to have any contact with people. If you've got to stand there waiting for 5 minutes for one of them to come over, look confused for 30 seconds then press a single button to authorise it, you may as well have gone to the till in the first place.

Idiots.

New LP 03-05-2016 12:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Santos-er (Post 12966940)
People who use self service checkouts when buying Alcohol. What's the ******* point? The whole idea of them is to avoid having to have any contact with people. If you've got to stand there waiting for 5 minutes for one of them to come over, look confused for 30 seconds then press a single button to authorise it, you may as well have gone to the till in the first place.

Idiots.

The whole point is surely to avoid queuing for ages at the checkouts?

WLYWLYAWYPWF 03-05-2016 01:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Santos-er (Post 12966940)
People who use self service checkouts when buying Alcohol. What's the ******* point? The whole idea of them is to avoid having to have any contact with people. If you've got to stand there waiting for 5 minutes for one of them to come over, look confused for 30 seconds then press a single button to authorise it, you may as well have gone to the till in the first place.

Idiots.

If you go in to the small stores in impoverished areas you will find the id request is either deactivated or they quickly sort it from behind the jump.

Breaking rocks 03-05-2016 01:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Santos-er (Post 12966)
description is people who use self service checkouts when buying Alcohol. What's the ******* point? The whole idea of them is to avoid having to have any contact with people. If you've got to stand there waiting for 5 minutes for one of them to ome over, look confused for 30 seconds then press a single button to authorise it, you may as well have gone to the till in the first place.

Idiots.

Agree.

On a more personal note -

People whose location description is so bleedin long that I have to scroll right in order to read their posts.

That and the whole page isn't aesthetically*pleasing for someone who has recently discovered that they must have some type of illness called- formally-known as-a-fussy-******-when-he-was-young-but now-may-very-well-be-diagnosed-as-ocd

i

WLYWLYAWYPWF 03-05-2016 01:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chocky (Post 12966918)
I know what you mean except I come home with 2 black whores I don't even fancy and no milk.

If I'd gone out for the whores I'd have forgotten to pick up the Anchor cream to squirt up their arseholes. Equally frustrating.

Reps AJ 03-05-2016 07:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Santos-er (Post 12966940)
People who use self service checkouts when buying Alcohol. What's the ******* point? The whole idea of them is to avoid having to have any contact with people. If you've got to stand there waiting for 5 minutes for one of them to come over, look confused for 30 seconds then press a single button to authorise it, you may as well have gone to the till in the first place.

Idiots.

Self service checkouts. I don't want to work in a supermarket

art malice 03-05-2016 01:18 PM

http://www.standard.co.uk/goingout/b...-a3238666.html

Drinking cocktails at the Krays' old cells. Fvck off

Maz 03-05-2016 01:22 PM

Why is it that the option you want on those long telephone menus (if you are interested in XX press button XX) is always the last one??? :grrr:

BERT'S HEAD 03-05-2016 01:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by art malice (Post 12967511)
http://www.standard.co.uk/goingout/b...-a3238666.html

Drinking cocktails at the Krays' old cells. Fvck off

"Two Blind Beggar Bellinis love."

robcmitchell 03-05-2016 01:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maidstoned Eagle (Post 12964560)
People who mark movies out of 5 when everyone else marks them out of 10

If you double their score then that gives you the mark out of 10.

A little tip for you.

strawberry mivi 03-05-2016 01:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SeanPalace84 (Post 12966511)
Yep, or when adults say words like "Awesome"

I enjoy annoying my kids by saying 'LOL'. ;)

Jukesy 03-05-2016 02:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nostrils (Post 12964457)
Our dog barely drinks water at all. We've tried bottled and rainwater all sorts, but he only drinks about half a pint even after a long walk on a hot day. The only good thing is when he takes a dump they have the density of a lump of lead, which is very easy to pick up, although sometimes I have to break them in two to fit them in the little black bag.

Therein lies the reason I will never own a dog

mroakley9 03-05-2016 02:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by strawberry mivi (Post 12967596)
I enjoy annoying my kids by saying 'LOL'. ;)

I used to use 'LOL' as a joke, and then it accidentally became a regular part of my vocabulary, so be careful out there, and be sure to only use it sparingly.


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