Buying winter tyres then the temperature going up to 14 degrees. In Scotland.

Purely BBS Specific:

'Top Top Player' ... what the **** is wrong with Top player
'Your West Ham's, Chelsea's, Villa's' ... There is only one, why not say 'teams like'
'My Bad' ... You are not a 5 year old, its as if people think it deflects a mistake
'Several Caveats' ... You dont sound smarter by replacing the word condition
'Jog On' 'End of' ... You are not Danny Dyer
'Kick on' ... Just lame
'In the clubs DNA' ... what DNA, clubs dont have DNA
'Number 10' ... Been reading inverting the Pyramid? Attacking Midfielder isnt it?
'Spirit of the team' ... as if we invented team spirit

I could go on...

Re point one... A top, top player is obviously better than a top player. I live in hope that we ever sign a top, top, top player

Don't you mean a tip-top top player?

People who are proud of themselves cos they've watched a box set of a series in no time at all. "Oh I watched the whole of The Wire in two days!" Get a grip you haven't climbed Everest!

The woman in my office who sits opposite me and seems to never stop talking,mostly loudly,she can't seem to bear a silence.

Another woman in my office who seemed sensible but now she's a Facebook friend I get stuff about Big Brother & Willoughby/Schofield on my news feed

Weather forecasters that can't decide how much snow we're going to get tomorrow

6 foot - 10 foot - does it matter? You are ****ed either way!

TV weathermen/women.....the most pointless job on God's earth. Just invented for people to inflate their egos by being on TV.

well that's just it, we had forecasted anything from <1inch to 18inches over the last 24 hrs, so we could have a relatively normal day v hell.

You should see them in LA! It is a contest to see who can wear the shortest skirts and have the biggest tits! And that's just the men!

Let's face it, it never snows but once every 10 years, it rains but once every 300 days... how hard can it be?

And whilst I'm on the subject... The weather channel... Do advertisers think that only ill people watch it? Every other advert is for some drug that my doctor won't have heard of because I'm advised to "talk to my doctor about"
Drug ads... Surely most pointless exercise ever?

To be honest the 7:00pm World News on the 3 network channels is the same.

Usually when I'm eating my dinner!

Handballing 10 tonnes of pissing pea gravel from the front garden to the back garden. Done about 1/16 of a tonne and my backs hurting already.

:veryangryKodi

Get me a train and a beer or two, I'll do it for you, you have to take charge of my laptop in return and sort Kodi out for me.

pm sent :)

Or a tip top up top top player

That's a bit of a stretch of your imagination there, you weren't told off nor were you informed that the thread was for upmarket eateries. ;)

:D

Plus, all those places are shit.

People who try and defend the best restaurant thread against justifiable accusations of snobbery. :D

The internet reception at Selhurst
The dreary Spurs song " When the Spurs go marching in" which they nicked off Southampton anyway

BBC news leading story being about Snow in the US......who gives a shit....does Snow here get news cover there?????

The betfair advert where these 2 Arsenal lookalike plebs do the little fist touch and give a faux tough yet smug look to each other after finding out Southport have beaten Grimsby 3-1.

Unfortunately it does get coverage and viewers are encouraged to send in their photos. It's crap news.

BBC has slowly turned into Buzzfeed. It's what the people want I suppose.

Reading the match feed post match comments and the ratings thread. Notable contributions from Doggleboy, Penstone Eagle and Mr Palace raising the pulse a tad.

The BBS after a defeat and the hideous over reactions.

Ain't that the truth.

You can't live without the internet for a couple of hours? Watch the match.

At halftime to check the other scores

Fahrenheit?

:D

Its supposed to be 14 but when you factor in the windchill and the damp it goes back to zero again. Not when you are shovelling pea gravel though.

People who buy vast quantities of pea gravel then moan about having to shift it by wheelbarrow. :bash:

Alan Green it's bad enough having to suffer him on the radio but now on the TV

My back garden resembles a crime scene from fred wests gloucester home. The pea gravel proper takes the piss by mocking my ineffective shovel loads by sliding down more replacements like some insane game of candy crush saga. The bastard pile now looks bigger than when I started.

ma
tch of the day

:D

That made me laugh.

I'd volunteer to give you a hand but I haven't had enough to drink. :p

Defenders who stick their arm up to indicate an offside when an attack is underway

Thats ok I'm just doing a bit a day. It doesn't help that the missus is away sunning herself and the car is missing. I can see the neighbours looking at me more shiftily than usual :)

As stupid diy projects go this one is right up there. I could have took 5 tonne for 150, but thought 10 tonne for 250 was better value. Dick. I've cursed my stupidity more than once today I can tell you.

Like people like speaking and like writing like like for no like reason like.

Just ******* like stop it like.

Almost as bad as 'SO I was walking along the road the other day' or 'SO who saw that film the other day' etc. Why start a sentence with that word! Whyyyyy!

Supposed to be doing my tax return. Instead off to A&E.

Which is a small relief from the tedium

I know I shouldn't smile at your adversity Elgin, but I can't help it.

Mostly because you tend to bring these things on yourself, and you're so honest about that.

No wonder your missus has gone away for a break and the neighbours are watching you from behind their net curtains. I suspect you provide them with quite a lot of entertainment.

Does the pea gravel mound look like that pile they constructed in Close Encounters of the Third Kind?

I agree with that, it should be a yellow card offence. Time they have done it the are a yard off the pace of the attackers. their job is to play the game not officiate it.

You OK?

It really does, only much bigger and much more demoralising. I couldn't face shifting much today and had to go to Inverness anyway which took most of the daylight hours. Still can't fit either of the cars on the drive as the pile refuses to get smaller. I think the neighbours must think we live in some sort of Tardis as I'm always carrying stuff in but never out. They were probably all cursing me last night as it rained on my tarpaulin and damp proof membrane which seemed to amplify what was probably the noise of light drizzle into something which sounded more like some sort of particularly heavy monsoon.

Wanky BBC news website STILL having live updates on Yank snow....schools are closed tomorrow....wow. Who gives a shit......do they report our snow????

Racists.

Xenophobes.

Racist xenophobes.

Tautology.

Travellers, they really are shit. Traveller bloke in barbers yesterday, causing an argument over how his eyebrows were cut so he didn't have to pay. Scummy barstards.

potketology

You may as well just broaden it to humans to save generalising.

Homeless people who have cell/mobile phones... how does that work?

Shouldn't you be out shoveling pea gravel? :hi:

The bloody huge pink BBCIII logo they display permanently on films. I know what channel I'm on I don't need to be told and if its for some kind of copyright protection its self defeating, because it makes you want to go and find a dodgy film site to get rid of the ******* logo!!!

They had them before they were homeless?

Its dark :)

We can't all live in California you know ;)

You think they should have a fixed line?

Where do the bills go to? 3rd park bench on the left from the swings?

Why would they get bills?

I don't. Never have.

"Shit my phone's run out of credit. Now I've got to go out to steal another one."

OK, so my annoyance doesn't take into account pay as you go phones and/or online billing... But it still seems wrong to me. You can add homeless people smoking as well - it's not the smoking, but the fact they can afford them.

The transfer window

Yes.

Homeless people should have no pleasures in life and no technology that is older than 14th century.

Now that would be unfair.

I would give them a month to sort their shit out and then exterminate them if they are still littering our streets.

when the wire on your headphones starts to go and you can only get music out of both ears by having the wire in specific positions.

Carrying letters around for days, forgetting to post them

You must have been a late adopter of mobile communications if you've never had a mobile phone bill.

That is happening to me at the moment, I had to sit on a train for 2 hours on Saturday with the wire in my mouth just to get noise out both earphones. What the hell makes that happen!?

Poundlands Fence Solar Lights. Its like close encounters of the third kind out there. Not. Judging by the picture on the box you should at least be able to see the fence.

I think the fact you purchased them from poundland (or Ebayed them off someone who bought them from poundland!) might give you your answer :rolleyes:

:D

I paid with the queens coin I'll have you know. I'm hoping they'll be brighter tomorrow night as I only stuck them up in the afternoon. 7 fairy lights would be brighter.

The gravel shovelling didn't take long if you're accessorising :)

If you plant about 3,000 of them they might offer some illumination.

On the basis that these lights are only going to work after a proper recharging, I think this maybe a fatal flaw in your plan elgin.

I fear the standard 330 days of the year overcast grey that you're accustomed to aint going to do it

These are special lights that light up pea shingle.



One light per pea!

Ah good point. There's still hope for tomorrow then. The yellow thing did appear briefly today, but only for maybe 20 minutes then clouds returned.

Your fillings were conducting?

Trust me - they don't work in California either!

Where was he hiding the orchestra then? :confused:

Ha, i wish. Got fecked off at several points and then diverted onto easier projects. Mrs Elgin will definitely kill me when she gets back, but frankly the Urals are preferable to shovelling 500 more barrowloads over the equivalent of pure clay. Warning: shield your eyes before staring directly into the solar 'lights'.

http://i.imgur.com/Dyrirtl.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/JvTLG1d.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/i747svK.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/HHIgDwi.jpg?1

http://i.imgur.com/RXM7uIZ.jpg?1

http://i.imgur.com/CxNbhds.jpg?1

http://i.imgur.com/tqIjqQ7.jpg?1

Doing a nice job there Elgin. Is that 20 ton?

Edit Sorry I think you previously said 10?

In Glasgow that colour is on the Dulux Rainbow Colour Charts.

Indeed it's so popular they paint houses throughout the nation in what is catchingly called 'suicide grey', albeit with detailing in 'depression dull', a uniquely complementing shade exclusive to the nation of Scotland.

My inheritance.

Cheers mate, yeah 10. Instead of grading the clay away from the house and let the not inconsiderable rainwater run into the burn at the back, they angled it so it all runs towards it. So i have to put more pea gravel at the house end so when i lay the bearers for the decking hopefully the grooves in it will take it away down that way. Seems to have used quite a bit to cover a very little area though :eek: Hopefully i've done the measurements right cos i'm fecked if i'm going to be ordering any more of the pissing stuff.

Did they rob it out the shipyards?

Probably :) This is Scotland, don't expect beauty.

Hard work. I was considering doing my drive and I think it was 1 ton covers 15 sq m/yds. But (on another 'project') a garden bed I got a ton bag og small stones/gravel and I only got about 10-12m cover at about an inch depth.

Scott Lithgow IIRC.

Yeah if it helps my garden is @32ft x 22ft and the woman said i'd need 6 tonne to give it a reasonable covering. I just got more cos of the slopes and cos we live in a cloud.

You should have plenty mate. That works out an average 4 and 1/2 inch depth.
Approximately how many barrow loads do you think it will be?

Is she really coming back or is she under the gravel?

I'm not sure elgin wants to know the answer to that.

:D

No but I do cos I need 40 ton!

Not sure. Its more like 12 inch depth at the house end and then i'm going to angle it back to the fence and just sprinkle whats left and hope its flat enough for the bearers. Was going to do raised decking and just leave the clay but it looked too tricky and the dogs would probably get trapped under there or crushed by something collapsing so went for the 'easy' option.

How much cat shit can it cover?

Is there a ratio where depth of gravel covers up your own cat and the neighbours cat?

Edit:- their shit not the whole cat.:D

Bloody hell! My barrowloads get progressively lighter as the days wear on for some reason, then i reach 'feck this' point and come inside.

Don't blame you and rats also love the space under raised decks apparently. It would have looked alright with just gravel.