Elton John and Bobby Crush can't be a challenge

The new breed of gym hero who have to have a brown leather holdall to carry their kit and must carry it arm out and tensed and bag by their side. What's wrong with a sports bag on the the shoulder

Wankers

Kirchhoff. Massive, massive, mega ****.

Prick.

Can't show off the pecs and tattoos if carried across the shoulder.

Theres a woman in my gym who insists on lugging her large handbag all.round the machines with her, instead of using the lockers. Tripped.over the bastard thing several times.

People who don't look where they're going in the gym.

Lol but will add a serious point- those on phones at the gym particularly sitting at s machine you want to use

People who pretend theyre black. :afro:

Thought we're all out of Africa back in the day bro?

Jealous much?

I think blacking up to look cool to Tariq is morally wrong.

When you go to use an app and then hang around waiting for it to update.

"Group Discussions"

I'm currently sitting on a Webex competency based interview for ILM and it's a group discussion around recruitment.

What. A. Load. Of. Bollocks.

This is just a waffling contest.

:supergrin:

You know it's going bad when after you have finished talking there is a prolonged silence :D

One thing that comes across quite strongly from your posts is that you should probably try and find another job :)

:supergrin:

I'd ideally like to do something totally different, like be a train driver or postman or delivery driver or something.

Unfortunately my mortgage is too high and my salary helps me pay it.

Generally though, i just don't like this corporate group chat shite. In fact i ******* detest it.

Everything.

I seem to be in a foul mood.

Have you got your period due?

Realising that after tonight's game there are f--king bus replacement services on part of my journey. F--king buses!

The Boy Does Nothing by Alesha Dixon. Imagine going into the studio to work in a creative industry and just fvcking nagging. She probably did a thousand takes too. Those poor musicians and engineers

ILM is the governing body for the sport of bullshit bingo, isn't it?

I thought it was the company responsible for the special effects in the Star Wars movies.

Griezmann. The guy is just a child.
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D0aVNN4W...pg&name=medium

Yeah he looks stressed, the ****

People that sit in coffee shops taking up space even though they don't even have anything! When you are standing there with a full tray and nowhere to sit...

In particular the ones who sit there with laptops plugged in and connected to the WiFi!

WTF is that about? There are regulars almost everywhere that are in the same place by the plugs etc and it drives them mad if someone is sitting there.

Corbyn and his cronies

That'd make me more determined to sit there.

Related to this is the utterly sh*t standard of (pop) music on Radio 2, which I am obliged to have on at work.
Just had Little Mix followed by Dua Lipa and they are absolutely interchangeable - pouty, babyish singing style as though they're singing into their selfie. This goes for loads of "artists" these days, both male and female. I know I'm not in the demographic that this is aimed at, but GRRRR!

losing to the Wankers AGAIN.

We are going to finally beat them in the Cup Final I tell you... I'm not sure what year, but it's coming!

I glued up the plugs in my place.:)

Man Utd fc.

Sourdough bread, I suppose that it is useful fo those few withan allergy to yeast but why is half the bread on sale now this abomination? Yeast has been good enough for over 5,000 years FFS.

Arabic commentary on streams. It's not that I can't understand it, it's that there is always one man speaking constantly for 90 mins (obviously no Arabian equivalent of Tony Gale) with zero change in volume, tone or inflection. It's like listening to Michael Owen read the phone book at 3x speed.

I saw a montage of clips of Arianna Grande on various red carpet appearances the other day. In every single clip she was stood there posing for photos with her fake cat ears on, head tipped back and her mouth open, like it was alluring and sophisticated.

The world's education system has failed young people...

Fer fer fer fer fer fer fer...Chrissy Waddle!

And Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat etc. etc. etc.

Ive said it before but news outlets loving pictures of players sticking their tongues out when they score. Van Djik has been on top of the bbc football website for two days with his tongue out.

Funnily enough I quite like it, kind of therapeutic. They are obsessed with saying the name of every player who touches the ball.

Don't know if it's still the case but 20 odd years ago German commentary was at the other end of the spectrum. You'd have long periods of silence, including during goalmouth incidents, and then at random intervals the 'commentator' would wake up, mutter a couple of players names and then nod off again.

Snowflake generation, innit

Chewing gum. You chew and chew without actually eating it. Then, if you are a decent human being, you have to put it in a tissue and find a bin. Or, if you are an inconsiderate sod, you spit it out onto the pavement before ruining the shoe of an unsuspecting individual. We should follow Singapore and ban the stuff.

The obsession with comparing footballers to each other, particularly on twitter.

My colleagues. Today.

I watch quite a lot of Mexican coverage of football and it is kind of the opposite. They are all over the place in their excitement. If you are old enough, think of Mike Yarwood doing an impression of Eddie Waring.

Just lately they have added a "Screechy" woman to the mix, which certainly adds to the enthusiastic commentaries.

I quite like it, and they can certainly brighten up a very dull/bad game even if I don't have a clue what they are talking about 90% of the time.

We made a deposit in the bank at a teller window recently... the teller misread the nine at the end of the deposit as a five.

It's a long story, but we had to get this corrected. It has taken 3 days, two banks, 3x live chat sessions, 3x VERY long phone calls and a drive back to the bank branch to get this 4 cent error sorted.

As a rough guess I would say in my time, bank employee time and petrol this 4 cent error has cost of about $1,000 associated with it.

Met some lovely people along the way though, including a young man in India so not all bad.

Still ******* annoying though!

Also have to say I have a lot more respect for one of the banks involved than I do my own bank... I think the whole experience tells me where I would rather be banking going forward.

Pet hate.

Sample pots of paint ........the kitchen is finished just the painting to do so choose a colour I said to the wife.....week latter I have fifty shades of grey to cover as she eventually chose Almond White.

Logging off at work to get to the pub then your PC starts to add system updates and you have to sit and wait

Mucky boy :p :p

Sraracha sauce.

It's Sree Ra-cha. Two words and Ra Cha sound like car.

Bad enough already, but now there is an ad with that jug eared Palace hating muppet and that bird with the annoying voice saying it. :veryangry

Pour them all into one pot and paint the kitchen with the resulting color!

And owners who let their dogs foul the pavements, and leave it there, should be forced to cook and eat their pets.

Harold Bishop ?

Jabba the Pickles.

“Without more ado”

Morrisons. Everything about it is just s***.

People who stick their hands in closing lift doors.

Agree .... Lifts should have a crush hands/close the ******* door button! ;)
Also what s it with some ****ers who leave their arse overhanging the closing door once in ..... It's now got to reopen ...refunk itself and do I all again ... And why is it also always a surprise to them that this has happened?

So it was these guys that put Parish onto the Sainsbury's end wingman?
That would not be a surprise if true ....

Except their crinkle cut gherkins.

Been working with a paralegal on some estate stuff, and sent her the occasional email with a question, or a response to a question from her.

We got the February bill today, and apparently got charged for 20 to 30 minutes of her time for every one of these emails at $295.00 an hour.

It would have been nice to have been warned, I wouldn't have been so talkative!

Please explain - what makes a crinkle-cut gherkin better than a normal gherkin?

****.... it's happened again! My sister in law who also got a check written by me that ended in 9 cents just called to say the teller asked her if it was a 9 or a 5. She said it looked like a 5 to her!

I should add that I was a Draughtsman for many years and pride myself on my penmanship... I'm hurt to the core!

I'm going to write myself a 100 lines of 9's as punishment!

Are you sure the bill wasn’t $259???

As the girl at my bank said, all that had to do was look at how I wrote the 9 in the year (2019) and it became very clear it should be a 9.

Also at least one of these checks had a 5 in the body and there is a clear difference.

Kicking myself though.

I wouldn't know but Crinkle cut chips are without question superior. .... I'm guessing that like gravity or magnetism it's just one of the rules of the universe.

Physics, its all about surface area.

Except their Firecracker Onion Bhajis

They’re splendid

They’re crinkly

How are things in 1978?

It's not just about the crinkle though. The pickling vinegar has a tang/zing chip shop gherkins just don't. They used to be my favourite of the pickle world but they don't cut it anymore.

And my new faves are only £1 a jar too.

And their liver sausage :p

Rubbbernecking. South bound A3 in gridlock because of accident, bloke couple of cars in front of me slows to 10mphto watch when passing scene, nearly evens thing up. Think about those behind you wanker

The American love affair with the cheque book never failed to astonish me.

At least I have the appropriate clothes for the period.

But yes, it is a little frustrating, but following lawyers instructions. I guess the legal profession likes their paper trails (well at least here at CT says).

Check your spelling.

If you want to go on Judge Judy, you need your checks :D

https://twitter.com/joesgallagher/st...657868288?s=21 Mario Balotelli recording his goal celebration as it happened for Instagram. Live in the moment ffs, it’s bad when fans get their phones out as soon as a goal happens.

People who raise all their car headrest to the max, I assume to show everyone they have headrests. Plain fecking strange.

No, its to make sure the head rests work how they're supposed to in an accident.

Palace streaming todays U23 game for "Gold Members" only.

By breaking their neck's?

Nope, if its set too low it will break your neck, it is supposed to be behind your head to prevent the whiplash motion of your neck snapping back.

Totally agree.
Smack in the face for ST holders.
I'm in hospital and could do with something good to watch.

People who work in shops, bars etc who, when giving you back your change, drop it from about 2 Inches above your hand.

Here in Spain its rare for them to hand you the change, they just slap the counter....even if you're holding your hand out for it.

I don't know what it's like there, but phone bills here are bordering on impossible to follow.

Way too complicated, but maybe that's the point. It's all discounts, various taxes, one time charges, base rates, prime rates... the list goes on.

You should try a gas bill. Phone bills are to gas bills as the Pathétique is to the Hammerklavier.

There are elections coming up here. I get annoyed that it's all being Americanised .People standing behind candidates and MPs with their signs. All politicians must now have a flag lapel pin to show they are more patriotic than the others.

On the news tonight Trudeau the Canadian Pm was on ,same thing there.

"Pathétique is to the Hammerklavier."

When I dont understand something

Have they started pointing at random people in the audience yet?

But I do get annoyed with them when they dont put them down again after they get out.

My big on of today is having a minor cold with a lot of sneezing.... with a broken rib.

One of my personal favourites. In extreme cases you can the play 'magical hovering hand' game where you move your hand toward someone who drops the change and they will start moving their hand away. This then appears like some magic trick where you seem to be levitating their hand around the counter until you stop and they eventually drop the change.
I get the on the counter change occasionally but is more annoying when you've already held your hand out to receive it.