Losing my NCD after being knocked off the motorbike last year by an uninsured driver F%ckinshitc#nt:mad::jerkit::jerkit::wallbash:

Palace fans saying the Seaweed game means nothing to them

They can't be Palace fans.

One woman on Twatter got quite irate when she said it meant nothing.

Unlike Brighton fans who can say that because they still have their Chelsea game against Wolves to look forward to on Sunday.

Penstone must be in all sorts of confusion.

^ This.

It's the 'pride' as well. 'We're above all that'. They might not be as gutted if we lose I guess, but they won't be so fvcking DELIRIOUS if we win either.

Quite!

(Easy for you to say)

Both are fine pieces in their own way. Are you saying that phone bills and gas bills are pretty much the same thing?

People who have an answer for almost everything, and are usually right.
Damn you Maz. ;>)

Idris Elba, the undisputed king of Smug.

Amusing discussion - if that's the right word - on TalkShite earlier about how great clackers and rattles were because they allowed clubs to "generate" an atmosphere when their fans and performances are so flat that the natural atmosphere is about as exciting as on Mars. Leicester were getting it right apparently. United should try it.

Then someone pointed out that if you wanted a proper atmosphere without trying to force it the place to go was Palace.

Jet lag and the thought of how tired I will be at work tomorrow

Flight being delayed 'due to catering problems'. FFS.

I once had a delay for “scheduled maintenance”. I mean wtf.

Irony is it's poxy Virgin Australia who only give you minimal food ("snack") anyway. Then some late f*cker gets on with half a ton of hand luggage which there isn't room for where she's sitting, so my one bag gets shunted along and squashed to make room for her f*cking portable igloo or whatever it was. Just **** off!!!

First world problems eh...?

Could have been worse. I mean you could have been flying Jetstar.

I've actually never had a problem with Jetstar that I can remember, albeit not used them that often.

From FYP

" I've just found the tweet in question. It was posted by one of our social guys in the heat of the moment and while I agree with the sentiment (that the plane gesture thing is a stupid thing to do) the posting of that tweet, and the tagging in of SP, was something we wouldn't typically do and it's something I've since had a word about.

That said, the offending video went viral and was RT'd thousands of times. I doubt one tweet from our account would have been the straw that broke the camels back. But still, we'll be more careful in the future."

Twats who pout their phone on speaker then stick it in their ear pointing out horizontally. Not only do they look a prick but I dont want to listen to your shitty conversation. YOU ******* PRAT. STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE, IT WILL MAKE BETTER CONVERSATION .

100%.

I blame The Apprentice tv show for this fad.

Toadies, bowers, scrapers and those people in general who believe that other people are superior to them.

Please forgive me.

Ah, I actually believe that other people are inferior to myself, in fact I am convinced I'm right.

Still humility is more attractive than pride.

A while ago some div on my train was doing just that sat opposite me. It stopped when I joined in with their conversation.

That kid in the car advert miming Proud Mary by Tina Turner
And that Haribo ad with adults talking in children’s voices

And so they are my lord,so they are.

Good lad

New fangled tin openers. Useless utensil wankers

VAR

Bog roll where the perforations are too good so it tears off before you want it to

You don't have that problem with newspaper.

Going to a petrol station. Waiting for someone to move off the pump. He then strolls out with 4 cans of energy drink. ****s about in the car, then proceeds to take a selfie with his ******* girl friend. By this time I don't need petrol as the steam I gave generated will power the car. Oblivious to tooting the horn.. ****.

The expressions “dob them in” or “grass them up” or “shop them” No it’s do the right thing and report them. FFS a 17 year old girl is stabbed and these kind of expressions are used. If you know some shite has done something wrong then ******* report it.

Usually used by people who have only learnt these expressions from watching Ray Winstone.movies

How about the receipt, note and change all on top of each other? What am I supposed to do with that? Make lots of little magic pixie parcels and carry them around in a leather purse?

Followed by the inevitable juggling act as the change slides off the shiny plastic notes.

While I'm here Service providers 5G mobile fanfare, just when you did so well with 4G :hmph:

£35 for a pair of flip flops just because they are called sliders and have a tick on them. “No son you want a pair that bad go clean 7 cars”

you mean the M23 derby?

going to cry from frustration if I see that again this weekend

**** off Sky, it's a rivalry not a derby and it has no poxy contrived name

Roy Hodgson yesterday. “It's a derby game, that's how we regard it and how our fans regard it“

bogan driving a ute?

Hearing him say things like that and then watching them put out a display like today's.

Subaru wagon (estate)

Tim Lovejoy.

Sky Sports tv commentators.

Why do they use nicknames as though they are at f@;#$@$ school! Even their golf commentators do it.That Wayne " Radar " Riley really gets on my goat.

Soccer am- I watched if for 5 minutes the other day.The three presenters, one a tv runner who has never got another job on tv, one a mouthy little ex footballer who throws a strop when he doesnt get his own way and the other, the worlds unfunniest comedian who thinks he can play in goal.Kick it a foot either side of him and he cant move.

Public holidays ruining my quiet Monday off.

10% surcharge on beer at the pub, because of said public holiday.

Especially when there's not enough staff to cope with the customers.

I had the utter misfortune to watch 10mins on Saturday, what's a collection of utter bellends called?

The BBS?, (that includes me btw).

Im.not a bellend, im a.****

Only on the internet tbf, unsure what you are on TV.

All the doom and gloom merchants and the quick on the draw blame culture

(and i'm not talking about Brexit)

Wow. I'd heard that the petrol went up at the weekend but the beer? Disgraceful. Broken Oz.

Still a bit of a ****, I would guess.:angel:

The self-importance of BBC journalists. All TV journalists, in fact. Self-regarding tosspots.

Gordon Taylor, shameless trough-snuffling shit shuffler

So many things
People who dont reply to emails even just to say **** off.
Parents who let their children wreck your house while sitting on their fat arse saying stop it darling.
My two daughters who have turned in to Kevin and Perry and the fix for this annoys me even more.
The ultra low emmisions charge on top of the congestion charge that hasnt stop the traffic being grudlocked.

Obviously the Digger drinks in more up market places than me.;)

That my chest hair is now turning white. However, the patches retaining some brown pigment now make me look as if I'm wearing a hairy strapless bra. I daren't check to see if I'm wearing a hairy g-string.

Event pricing in pubs. When there is a big game (either rugby or football) on TV in certain pubs, they put their beer prices up during the game.
O Neills / the George in Beckenham do this.

Wouldn't go in them anymore.

This.

‘Kin ell

If they did that up here there would be no pubs open

Michael Dawson on Sky

Shocking

Yup.

People who indicate they are turning off a round about and then dont so you pull out and nearly hit them.

I'm classy.

Yup. Researching a new local has excluded this option.

Incidentally where do drink. I presume you live in Sydney

Conversely people who don't indicate and you wait for them, but they turn off anyway thus making you miss an opportunity to merge into the flow.

I've learnt to never trust peoples indicators (or lack of them).

News organisations - especially the BBC - using Tweets as news.

Especially those f*ckwit politicians/journalists trying to draw attention to themselves through melodramatic language.

On the continent, they actually drop prices (i.e. extended happy hour) when matches are on.

Peston and Kuennsberg, take a bow.

The digger is a famous chef. He cooked dinner for The Eagles (the band, not the football team) last week.

This. I NEVER trust anyone who is indicating until they actuall start the manouvre.

Palace club shop offering me endless bargains only in small. Yes I'm slimmer and fitter these days but small?:wallbash

It's always handy if you can make eye contact with the other driver, but with many people having full on tinted windscreens and side windows theses days this is impossible... but that's another whole "annoying" thing to post about.

That's bloody annoying as you might not even be watching it. The George put prices up on Christmas Day as well. Surprising as the previous year the landlord went around giving the ladies free Prosecco. But then they had a makeover in October to turn it into a poncey boozer.

That formula 1 is now all on sky. Thank god for sports donkey

I Melbourne.

Can literally walk 500m and pay half as much for the same pint, it's bonkers.

Trying to have a quiet bite to eat before work and the couple at the next table having a loud, stressful conversation

It was the same when I lived in St Tropez. A large beer on the harbour was, pre euro, about a tenner...walk round the corner to the PMU bar ( French betting shop) and rhe same beer was a quid

Yes - two of the worst offenders from the journalist side. But the politicians are even worse.

And that surprised you about St. Tropez ?!!

Nope.

TBF, the cheaper pub is subsidised by the tab and pokies. Which also means it is open from 10am until 4 in the morning.

The what and the whos?

Some times its worth paying a bit more to be away from all that shit. I don't understand why most pubs have wall to wall tvs that no one is watching. Don't get me started on the pokies.

TAB = Betting agency. Pokies = Onearm bandits/ fruit machines. Explanation can be found in Speak Strine ,vol 1.

Just went to the shops and encountered a driver that hit all my annoyance buttons that I have posted on here over the years.

Bare in mind I'm driving on the right here...

1. At a filtered light left turn, arrow turns green and car in front of me sits going nowhere for about 3 seconds, so I honk my horn. They finally move and by the time I get to the light the turn arrow is red.

2. About a mile down the road, I'm going straight on, this same car is doing another left turn that does not have a filter arrow, but as I'm passing they start drifting out to the right into my lane so they can do a U-turn in one sweep... honk my horn take II!

3. As I pass this car, I'm ready to give them the evil eye, but low and behold they have fully very dark tinted windows on all window and there is no way to see who is driving. The fact that this is illegal really pisses me off more than anything as it rarely gets you a ticket, and if you do it's called a fixer ticket, where you get it fixed and then take your car to the police station to show them you fixed it. I hear a lot of people just go back to the window tint place (who should not be putting it on in the first place) and have it put back on until next time.

Some people really should not be allowed on the roads!

PMU is a good shout.

Yah flamin gallahs.

Ferry cancellations AGAIN that mean stirring around for two hours for the next one

This. I dread a Saturday morning one when Palace are at home. The list of excuses for the cancellations gets longer by the week.

Today is the clutch has gone on one of the Yarmouth Lymington boats. Victoria has made things worse on the other route as instead of 3 ferries they only run 2. This means it takes longer to get on and off PLUS the traffic of all those cars dumped at once causes more chaos. Finally today I’ve been told that unless I get the 8pm back I have to wait until 2!!! Due to one of them being taken off and the other doesn’t have the right crew trained. Complete farce.

For sure. But there's a middle ground too.

My current local does pints of 4 Pines for $8 on Friday nights - the only night I get there after work in time for a beer. But, I'm moving house in a couple of weeks so researching a new local....

Sort of off subject, but as a resident of the IOW do you get some kind of discount for the ferries?

As a non-resident this little trip is mindbogglingly expensive! I read somewhere it is considered the most expensive per mile ferry in the world.