Aggressive swimmers (in the pool I mean)

Well speed up or get **** out of the way!!! :D tide waits for no man!! :p

Things that annoy you
 

Commercial daytime radio DJs.

They honestly believe they're the funniest people on the planet. They bore us to tears about a shitty little 'on the tube in the morning' anecdote and ask the listener questions as if we have the power to respond right there and then, over the airwaves from where we are, back to their little smug-filled wank booth of a radio station.

The Bible. Top band

My wife's a lane Nazi

I don't have digital radio in the car, so pretty much depend on FM. Most of it is very poor now. More and more CD's piling up in the motor.

People who insist on calling London neighbourhoods 'villages'. F*ck off to the Cotswolds.

Trying to buy the correct light bulb.

USB connectors (3rd state)...

Thankfully tech evolution will soon rid us of these lifewasters forever

People who wear gym gear to the shops when they aint been near a gym in zonks.

The BBS.

it's gone from being fun to spiteful and boring. Full of keyboard hard men and know-alls.

They even drove away Steve Browett.

Still living in Crystal Palace?

The expression 'me-time'

Those short-trip wheely suitcases that people lug around behind them. Especially when they then stop in the middle of the footpath and you have to somehow dodge them before stacking it.

Security lights that come on when you walk past someone's house

I say this every year but the Next sale, some marketing knobber deserves a medal for convincing people its such a big event.

Don't dodge them. Plough right over them.*

(*Exempt from this course of action are women and the elderly. I'm not a monster.)

Security lights and alarms that come on when your just prising the window open

I was listening to the radio the other day and a woman was bemoaning car alarms. She was explaining that it really annoys her when they go off at night and she can see the other curtains go as she is looking to see who's car it is.

Her next sentance is that she doesn't see the point of them as everyone just ignores them. Yes that is why you are looking out your window like the others!

Stupid bint.

People who start sentences but don't

They should all be

The person I sit opposite at work emailing me a single, simple query. You have a mouth, use it FFS.

Gareth Keenan?

If your second sentence was the query you're referring to, then maybe he was just too shy to ask for a BJ out loud?

Know-all?
I thought I was wrong once but I was just mistaken.

Having to fill in your email address in twice on EVERY internet registration/ purchase page. Why - can I not be trusted to get it right? And worse than that, sites which prevent me copying and pating the email address when confronted by such patronising restrictions. I've actually goten to the point where I won't register with/ buy from such companies. The thorough, absolute wankers.

The continuing popularity and fame of Ant and Dec

People who say "I'm loving this new ......" Or "I'm loving your ......."

I've always hated the way people go up at the end of their sentences , but just cannot believe how many people do it now. It seems like anyone on the tv or radio does it on phone ins, or guests in the studio.... I switch off as soon as I hear them doing it, can't be bothered to listen to them !

Japanese or Chinese women with big knockers.

Stop f*cking confusing me.

Chavs who get their 6 month old kid's ears pierced.

Stand-up tv shows and DVDs that cut to the audience every 10 seconds to show some mush giggling away.

Christmas adverts

OK a few years back John Lewis did a decent one but rather than just enjoy that and move it on we are now in a point where it's an annual ******* event like the release of a new Star Wars film.

Oh look Halfords did an advert where 2 reindeer kissed in front of some windscreen wash to the tune of Lady In Red, give it an oscar.

People at work who ignore the fact you are having a discussion and just start up another discussion with the other person

People at work who hover around your desk when you are having a discussion

Most other people

When someone asks how your doing and you reply and ask back, they then ask you again...

A lad at our place is nicknamed Flymo for doing this hovering around your desk thing, with his eyes locked onto your screen reading the latest musings from the BBS on my monitor.

I have to do that on my site though for those that don't email me directly, there ARE too many idiots who don't type their email address correctly which causes loss of orders when you can't contact them back, and/or they might not come back to you because they think you're a bad business who can't be arsed to get back to them.

They are the wankers. Blame them. Thick wankers.

Or having to go through the whole "how are you" "fine" "yourself?" "oh plodding along" SHIT before every bloody business phone call to a customer. I don't give a SHIT how you are, you don't give a shit how I am, just get on with it ffs.

Surely it's worse when someone actually starts to tell you how they are as opposed to the correct response of 'grand' even if you're at death's door.

"How are things?"

"Not great to be honest. The wife has some undercarriage problems and I've got this nasty rash and..."

>Walk away<

People who think their hazard lights are:

a) to be used when parking on a busy road - just indicate you twat

b) to permit them to stop wherever the **** they want

They are wankers.

lol

What's worse is when they cheerily ask you how you are, knowing full well you'll ask back... Then tell you that their dear old nan was blown to pieces by a gas explosion and their toddler savaged by a pit bull.

Next time just roll straight into it. Hi is that ...... great, this is ....... lets discuss.......

Its a bit of a worry because I agree with close to 100% of posts on this thread.

I also agree with Oddjob except for the bit about John Lewis doing a decent one a few years back. It was monumental pap. I wrote to JL's marketing department and told them that I wasn't going back in JL until that ad was off the screens.

I hate these attempts at touchy-feely tug-at-the-heartstrings ads that patronise everyone by assuming that showing such puke, we will change our opinion as to the retailer in question and rush in and buy stuff there instead of elsewhere. Which is their objective of course.

Shitty food on adverts like icelands peter andre one for example. Yes it's cheap and I bet it tastes like shit too. And no Peter doesn't buy frozen pizzas for £1.79 in Iceland you fcuking liars.

he eats frozen minge………...

…the new Polyfilla topping ones

People who queue for a long time at the bar/fast food counter and only think about what they want once their order is ready to be taken.

He likes a bit of minge meat no doubt. But I reckon he's more of a Mr Kipling man

http://www2.b3ta.com/host/creative/5.../MingePies.jpg

Deal or no deal, Noel, and it's contestants.

Noel makes it sound like it's a skilled game, talking tactics with how to play the game. Just open the ****** boxes noel you ****.

The samey shit advice from fellow contestants. "just think what you could do with the money", Yawn you're boring and so is your generic advice.

Making recommendations on how data should be recorded, people thinking they know better then 6 months later when it goes tits up you being the one that looks the fool in front of the client and then having to clear the shit up. That's one for today's list

telephone calls---press 1 for this press 2 for that or press 3 for don't even go there!

Employ a human being for fs-- and stop wasting my time.

Oh yes. Completely!
"I don't think we've ever had a situation like this before on deal..... Just amazing, etc"
open the c***ing box. Twat.

And the people who listen to the other idiots advice, and people who cry when they lose, and the people who have comedy beards, and the fat bloated ******* who .......etc.

deal or no deal. No f****** deal.

Or when the contestant deals and they then they carry on to see if it was the correct choice. Unless the contestant pre selected the boxes in advance, this section is completely irrelevant. I don't know how this s*** is still on.

People who watch a shit tv programme through choice and then complain about it.

:D

You need to watch it to figure out if you can whine about it

"Bolaise", "McCarthur", "Hangerland", etc

Middle class liberals in Brighton

Terry Wogan

and Brucie for a double-whammy

People that go drinking, socialising etc in the centre of London and call it 'Central'.

"Had a few drinks last night in Central. Got a bit carried away, didn't I Rupert?"

Similarly, people that insist on saying Thornton Heath is in Surrey and Beckenham is in Kent. If it's in a London Borough, it's in London.

What about the people that watch it?

Or indeed that. Beat me to it :)

If you haven't seen this, before - you may like it! https://www.youtube.com/watch?list=R...&v=f2eha1ff-aE

The lack of baby and pet photos on my Facebook feed. I need to see more of your ugly baby and your poxy dog lying on the carpet. Please, these photos never get boring so post them up whenever you want. Also, more statuses telling me how you hate Mondays and love Fridays. That would be great. It's annoying how there are so few of these.

What about pictures of the food you are eating in a restaurant? Always makes be lick my lips!

As for half drunk glasses of tropical drink? I just drift off to a desert island somewhere and dream of doing the same...

Bastards! :veryangry

Are you therefore saying Biggin Hill is London?!

Yes and it has been for the last 50 years

People who don't keep up with changes that happened 50 years ago

left wing twats spouting shite

Quite. I'm definitely annoyed with myself......although it definitely helps to experience something before taking a view.

Bitches in front of you in the express lane in the supermarket who put through their 22 items and chat incessantly to the spotty scanning and bagging and then look completely astonished that the transaction should be wrapped up by payment being made.
Followed by useless fumbling through handbag for purse.
Oh, is this the first time you've done this, you silly bint?

You're in the wrong place here then!

That bloke who goes around filming the crowd and then appearing every five minutes on the jumbotron

I said it in a previous thread but a big hate of mine is when football fans look all depressed when losing then a TV camera points on them and they act like they've just won the ******* lottery. Mostly noticeable during the world cup when it really pissed me off. Maybe I take football too seriously but when Palace or England are losing I'm in a ******* bad mood and if a camera pointed in my face I would want the break the ******* thing. *****.

Right wing twats spouting shite

People spouting shite about people spouting shite

Northerners :p

People at work the CONSTANTLY talk behind people's back.

Naggers.

People that laugh at non funny things... like at Wimbledon when a pigeon lands on court.... not funny at all.

No I will say "Not too great really I shit the bed again". Discuss my arse.

People who take an age to put their bags on or off the overhead luggage rack on trains. Get out of the way!

Tossers who insist on using their phones on planes despite having been told to turn them off.

Situation seems to have got worse now that on some aircraft/airlines you can keep the phone on but in flight mode. Means that the staff have given up.

Sat next to a complete prong on a Sydney - Melbourne flight this week and the pony tailed yank only cut short his phone call as we started accelerating down the runway to take off.

When we were airborne and the crew announced that phones had to remain in flight mode he the took it out of his pocket and put it into flight mode.

Arrogant prick. He obviously knows better than the CAA.

And if I pull him up on it I'll be the one in the wrong.

And breathe.....

Right wing wannabe nazis. The legacy of that buggering in public school and they take it out on the rest of the country.

Stupid drivers that don't understand merge in turn and give evil stares or prevent cars merging because they think they are queue jumping. Both lanes are there for a reason.

Nah that stuff is funny

Well I'm an idiot for watching it (and nipplechips), everyone else is fine

Radio stations playing Christmas songs in mid-November. Too early people. I like Christmas songs but only when appropriate like 2 weeks beforehand, not bl00dy six! I like Christmas and the build up. Change channel time.

Stupid ignorant queue-jumping drivers who ignore get in lane signs and cut in at the last minute despite everyone else already being in the correct lane by merging smoothly and safely as the traffic slows down. Almost worth carrying a stinger strip for.

What a load of old shit :D

Aye but be patient and wait for someone to let you in if you are merging into their lane instead of forcing your ignorant way in

Adverts. TV is almost unwatchable 'live' nowadays :(

People boarding planes/carry on luggage - I even annoy myself with this one!

Rail replacement "service"

:sob:

Was sitting in A&E earlier, and a Dad proceeded to play a cartoon via a table, full blast in a busy waiting room.
I'm guessing most folk, would provide headphones to provide some discretion, and respect for other patients.

I very rarely watch live TV. I get up quite early so watch the previous nights TV then. Ad free.

Having just watched tonight's 'Celebrity Pointless', the way Vanessa Feltz always seems to have a sneer on her rancid face whenever she speaks.

And Judy Murray, she reminds me of the character Sarah Parish played in 'Pillars Of The Earth', the one who was obsessed with her son to the point that she'd wash him while he sat in the bath and then shag him. One creepy woman.

1) The c@#ts who had their own private firework party at 2.15am in the early hours of Thursday morning. Probably woke up most of Park Hill & East Croydon, including me who wanted to shove a Roman Candle up their arses.

2) The relentless automated telephone messages trying to flog me a new gas boiler and solar panels. However, I've reported the ****ers so hopefully it will stop.

3) Cesc Fabregas' teeth. Hard to explain but they irk me.

Countryfile and The One Show