Lycra clad cyclists cycling two abreast at speed on a shared path which is about 3 metres wide. Absolute *****.

Wrong thread. Should be on the Are you still going out one. Extensive coverage there, and if you are pro or anti golf so much the better.

I’m curious as to why the lycra is relevant here.....

Yes, because thats the most important part of penistones post.

Sleet and snow in ******* May in ******* Scotland.

Sunny here.

I now live in Thurso Al so **** off you southerner.

Snow in shetland, heading your way.

It's a glorious morning down here. Just going to hang the washing out.

Another Southerner speaks :rolleyes:

More effing snow?!!

Mr Michael Fish where did the snowstorm I have just experienced emanate from ?

Another fine scotish spring day.

Ne'er cast a clout 'till May be out.

Just had a couple of heavy sleet blizzards, I have sent it south to Chateau.

You have sunshine amid dry but blustery conditions to look forward to soon

Aye its been sunny but windy all morning.

Cast a what?

Clout. Clothing. ie Keep your jacket with you.

How do you cast clothing?

Old farmers were mental.
https://www.almanac.com/fact/an-old-...oes-never-cast

Cast,throw away, or put in the drawer for the warmer seasons.

People who when you walk past them in the park looked scared ti death like you are the walking virus just waiting to jump on them. If your that scared dont go out.

“Ripe and ready” avocados. I have had two of these two bastards for four days now and they’re still rock hard. :veryangry

Isn't a neighbouring banana supposed to be your friend here?

I bought "ripened" bananas yesterday. As hard as an avocado.

I think you & Smoz might be on to something here. Even at 2m, your respective fruits might be able to provide some mutual satisfaction........

I forgot about that, will give it a try.

Leave them a bit longer then. We pick our avo's direct from the trees just as the skin is darkening....but then, we do have our own trees. :smug and boasting smiley:

Wankers that have their own avocado trees

There is something about the texture of an avocado that is quite sick making. Just can't get passed it.

Same experience with Waitrose ones. By the time they felt soft enough they were black inside.

Waiting for the work phone to ring of late. Picked a good time to scale back the SEO on our website because our advertising lot were pulling our pants down, but even so. It's like the arse has dropped out of the business in the space of a few weeks.

Au contraire, many excel at avocado throwing and kicking, with accuracy stats up there with the best.

I believe there is a tournament in Mexico every year.

I can feedback that the large avocado I bought last week was way better than the small ones. I won’t bother with the tiddlers in future.

It was labelled ‘ripe and ready’, but felt like a grenade initially. I left it to ripen and then forgot about it for 5 days. Cut it open yesterday and it was perfect.

Ignore the labels and use your own judgement.

Maybe it's because their are so many wankers out there?

I thought that and then the wife asked me if I'd looked in the mirror lately......

Avacados are rank.

Adlers kicked an avo once, he said it was very easy.

Bless your jealous little heart. :love:

Any film or TV scene where they act out watching a sport such as football or horse racing on the telly. Always terribly done. "Go on, YES!"

Questions from the public at the daily press conference.

Q; Have you considered UBI?
A: It’s shit.

Wankers that refer to avocados as "avos" (or even worse, "avo's").

Wankers that refer to avocados as food.

Sourdough wankers.

Modern day bin liners. Weak as piss. Cannot remove a full one from the pedal bin without it ripping.

And dont get me started on the black bin liners which you can now see through and disintegrate by just looking at them

I love avos'

What is sourdough ? I am afraid that I have become a fan in the last 12 months, but can't put my finger on what it is about it that I like.

Lactic acid

The taste of irish opression.

"Do you want anything from the supermarket?"
"Oh yes, could you pick up a couple of cados please?

They look quite nice

https://www.oxfordcheese.co.uk/our-c...mini-cados~93/

I've never heard of these shortened versions of avocado, but are we allowed to call guacamole, 'gwok'?

The trend of BBS posters calling people ‘Captain’ then a phrase to make point. Very schoolboy, might aswell say ‘I know you am but what am I”...

Eg
Captain Obvious
Captain Patronising
Captain Captainising etc

Someone's upset Captain NeverBeenCalledCaptain

I call it "gwak". Hth.

What's wrong with Farrow's marrowfat peas? Do you hate this country so much? :veryangry

Thanks, Lieutenant Irrelevant.

I thought it was a very sensible post. Any ideas what we should call him?

Hahahah.

Ok Captain Psychotherapist.

At last, some variance.

Gunnery Sergeant Relevant?

I love 'em with mash and fish fingers.

Mash. With Fish Fingers ?

Never heard such silly talk

You are funny people oop north.

It's the southerners bangers n mash innit.

:supergrin:

Mash with sausage, yes

Chips with FF, yes

Sausage with chips, yes

Chips with chips, yes

Mash with FF, no

No. No. And no again

You are an idiot.

I resemble that remark

I love sausage and mash as well. Not so keen on chips with anything. And I am taking no culinary lessons from a part of the country that regards a Bakewell Tart as a f*cking delicacy.

I can take or leave a Bakewell tart.

Matlock birds are dirtier

I was thinking is there anyone in the world who doesn't like chips last week, I thought impossible! Fair enough.

Is she still on the telly over there?

or even Captain sensible

Chuck in some baked beans and you have a culinary delight!


What a weird childhood some of us had! :D

Lashings of parsley sauce and you have a council estate fisherman's pie.

How common.:D

Only when served with cabbage

With Brain's Faggots and some oven chips.

We used to have a Corporal Jones....

Major idiot

Yep. :D

Yep. :D

Yep. :D

Thats taking groundhog day a bit too far. :)

You cant say faggot on the bbs.

You can add dog poo bags to your list. There is little worse than sticking a finger through one when you're collecting... :veryangry

That scans like a line from a John Cooper Clarke poem.

People going on about the white stuff that comes out if bacon. Just f***ing eat it and shaddup.

Cheers Slim. I am browsing the BBS while tucking into a reheated vegetable lasagne and you post that!. :hmph:

wilkos red/brown poo bags are the ones you need

Probably did you a favour.

It's a poor substitute for FF & mash

Yes, it is.

FF, mash, fried egg and heinz spaghetti. Lush.

Needs a splash of Worcester Sauce, though

Why not just eat out of a trough

I bet you eat avacado

I’m all for a council tea but that sounds fvcking disgusting

And some salad cream, vinegar and custard to compliment the already disgusting combination on the plate.

Yikes - what does that do to me ?

(Can predict many of the responses this may generate ...)

I think Al is on a wind up

It’s not feasible for a human to think that combination, actually just about any combination of those foods, are edible

He could make a fortune developing The Little Al diet plan with equally disgusting recipes and publish a cook book.

Cook the meal, find it impossible to eat,chuck it in the bin, 10lbs shed in the first week.