Is that White Anglo Saxon Protestants that have had to much Sangria?

No, that's the bog.

Seriously? :D

It’s true - same as basking sharks or black-browed albatrosses.

No. They can.

I’ve got an indoor Basking Shark!

Or the signs that say A631 shut when you’re driving on the A1. How the hell is anyone meant to know where the A631 is or whether your journey is likely to be affected by its closure? At least give us a clue where it is.

My dickhead cat starring in a 'Has anyone lost a cat? He's in my house' thread on Nextdoor with about a 60 replies.

Turns out he's going into people's houses and sleeping there and is being being fed by at least two people locally who uploaded pictures of him.

What a little turd. Honestly...

There are 6 road zones based on a radial pattern centered on London.
The first digit in the number of any road should be the number of the furthest-anticlockwise zone entered by that road. For example, the A38 road, a trunk road running from Bodmin to Mansfield starts in Zone 3, and is therefore numbered with an A3x number, even though it passes through Zones 4 and 5 to end in Zone 6.
All you need to do is remember the radial numbering pattern and the starting point of the road in question.

HTH

Sounds a bit like the freeway systems in California (and maybe the rest of the country, I don't know).

Odd number freeways go predominately north/south, even numbers east/west.

The numbers themselves have some significance, that I've never quite figured out... something to do with other freeways they link with, i.e. the 405 joints the five (but there is no 40 as far as I know). the 105 links both the 10 and the 5, the 101 links the 10 with the 1... etc., etc.

It's terrible in Thornton Heath. Everyone owns two cars and a disabled bay.Everyone wants to be gangsta and not ruin their street cred by giving way to some dear old granny. Instead they make her back up the road and then wave all their little gang signs at her. You don't have to be a brain surgeon to figure out the solution is to arm granny or to make the roads one way. Every time I'm back I listen to all the road rage and try and figure out the reason the roads haven't been made one way. I'm sure some upstanding member of the local council would have some logical answer, but I can't see one.

Yes.

Only if you use the lemon one.

Hopefully.

And catholics.

Surely someone of your intellect and breeding would call it the water closet?

Not if they land in my swimming pool they can't.

I’VE GOT A SWIMMING POOL etc,etc

Yes, I have...bane of my bloody life.

So the A 631 could have one end anywhere between Potters' Bar and Gretna Green and the other end Goodness knows where.

Builders estimates before starting a job vs builders estimates halfway through a job.

Thank you, PeterH.

Not sure it does help. I think I'm more confused :confused::confused::sob:

So am I !!!

I have never been so insulted.


(hic)

The lazy word Handsan

I find that hard to believe.

:love:

yeah, something like that.

Over the last 3 days and nights I have been rather annoyed.

Stayed up in Northumberland for 3 nights, just me and the Mrs. Beautiful scenery, great walks and some good food and beer. Stayed in a lovely hotel with a view of the village church. Lovely.

Went to bed on Weds night about half 10 and fell asleep soon after. Was woken up by the church bells at 11pm, obvs dinging 11 times. Fvck me I thought, that’s going to be annoying every hour if that’s the case. Oh well, never mind I thought, after 12pm the dinging will be shorter and they won’t bother me. I fall back to sleep pronto.

I am woken by 2 dings sometime later and assume therefore it’s 2 o’clock, but I don’t feel like I’ve been asleep that long. I lie awake feeling odd and try to get back to sleep. Minutes later there are 4 dongs of the church bell. WTAF is happening here. I look at my phone, 11.30pm. Eh ? I must be dreaming this. 11.45pm comes, 6 dongs. Fvck my old grannies boots, the fvcking bastard twatting bells dong every 15 minutes. Yes, every 15 minutes of every fvcking hour and they’re about 100 yards from our hotel.

I enquired the following morning as to what the fvck was going on with the bells 4 times a bastard hour. ‘Yeah’, says the hotel owner (nice chap) ‘they’ve been doing it for years and despite us complaining regularly and residents petitioning the church, they just stick two fingers up’.

Very fvcking Christian of them that, the wankers, I reply (Sort of)

The next two nights were exactly the same although cooler so we could shut the windows and it wasn’t too bad. And last night I had 7 pints of Moretti and a whiskey so would have slept through a 747 landing on the roof.

But I’ve never known such c untery I really haven’t. Total disregard for the community which it’s supposed to serve. Utter shithouses.

Apart from that, we had a marvellous 4 days

That is all

There's many people who would say you are wrong ; that church bells are part of country living, and tourists should either put up with it or go away.


I can see both sides of the argument but tend toward the former.

Regardless of the rights or wrongs, it made me laugh. A lot.


Sorry Worksop, I know I shouldn't, but well... you know.

:D Feel free mate, we laughed a lot about it.

Sad though as we won’t return there because of that

Why are churches in the country any different to ones in towns and cities ? I live about 250 yards from a Church and apart from Sunday mornings, weddings, funerals, christenings and practice on a Tuesday evening, they respect their neighbours and remain quiet. And I actually love sitting in my back garden and hearing the bells. At an appropriate time.

There is no need or reason for bells to ring on the hour after 10pm, let alone every 15 minutes. Smacks of ‘power of the church’ to me. And when residents complain, I’m not sure your statement holds true at all.

And you’re right, we will go away and not return to that village/small town which is a shame because it’s lovely. And I’m sure many tourists will feel the same. And how does that help the town ?

It’s like the idiots who complain about the call to prayer when they visit Islamic countries.

It's more melodic than clanking bits of iron clattering around in a bell tower.

yeah, but do they do it every 15 minutes ? )))):supergrin:

keeps the unwashed masses away?

I think they’re both a bit annoying but have been around for longer than I have, so wouldn’t do a Daily Mail-esque “why oh why oh why” type rant about either of them.

Bullshit like you wouldn’t :supergrin:

Self-service checkouts - why do seemingly 80% people not realise a green light, above each checkout, indicates it is free! To be fair, the supermarkets should have signs to advertise this but in the U.K. they do not as far as I’m aware

:D

Now you know why you got such a good deal.

:D If only mate ! Extortionate prices at the moment in the UK

Once again, your post makes no sense.

Oh give it a rest you boring chuffer

It’s supposed to be a lighthearted thread

Things that annoy you
 

I’ve lived in a few coutryside villages since leaving South London as a child and never been woken by ‘through the night’ ringing church bells.

Had you announced on here on here a “holiday recommendations thread” type thing? Maybe SC was ringing the fu-kers [emoji3]

:supergrin:

I think he’d go for my neck before the bells

Ha - possibly.

Tbf, it’s a bloody stupid idea and someone has to either stay awake all night to carry out said procedure or set a rota for numerous people to wake up in the night, come in, pull the chain and f—k off back home again. And his/their audience is basically no one. Madness (and infuriating to others)! You had it 3 nights, imagine living there! Jeez

Parts of North London think they it's the countryside. Some locals refer to the neighbourhood as 'the village'. The only village it reminds me of is the one in 'The Prisoner'. Quilted jackets and expensive wellies. Consequently, we have the all night church bells. Sets off the big cats in the zoo. Be seeing you..

:confused:

Surely some clock-like-workings based devilry? You might even say clockwork?

I don't think Andy understands that new-fangled automation malarkey.

It didn't work.

Things that annoy you
 

I’m old fashioned where I still believe there are bell ringers that come in periodically [emoji3]

👜

Marmite trails on the kitchen work surfaces. Taking the marmite from jar to toast on a knife invariably leads to some drippage, leaving its distinctive mark for all to see.

I love listening to that.

I’m ambivalent but I expect it and don’t whinge on like a northern halfwit when I go to places like Turkey or Morocco. It would be like writing a stiffly worded letter to the Daily Telegraph about the sounds of birdsong or traffic outside my flat.

Before we moved to Dorset, I lived in a small village on the Ashdown Forest about 100 yards from the village church which chimed exactly as you describe.

You will clearly find this odd, but I miss it dreadfully.

The quarter chimes were so important in the very fabric of rural life for over a hundred years, it’s brilliant that some churches still do this.

In practical terms, I can’t remember just how many times those chimes saved me from missing last orders.

I was in Northumberland not Turkey or Morocco

I was talking about the Islamic call to prayer, you div.

Whats Morocco like? I really fancy going to Marrakesh.

My Missus snoring is constant, and travels wherever I go. Swap you her for the bells.

I’ve not been there for a while but thought it was great. Michael Winner was a big fan of Marrakech but you’re safe now. You also might find SC’s copy of “The Shining” which he chucked out of a train window in anger.

The room we had in Marrakech had one of the prayer call speakers directly under our window [emoji2] Loud, distorted, and a couple of the blokes didn't have very good voices. Didn't bother me as I like to get up early on holiday. My ex wasn't happy at all though.

Dr Guy Secretan in Green Wing
The Kevin Bacon EE ads
And as ever the Compare The Market meerkats.

I went to Morocco for three days and spent two of them in the toilet. Or what passes for a toilet in those parts. Then they took me to a doctor who prodded me in the stomach and asked, "Est-ce que vous fumez?" "Non". "Quoi! Même pas le tabac?"

Are you sure that was a prayer call or were the Bee Gees on tour there at the time?

So some idiot in an advertising agency makes up an advert involving meerkats. Being a total ignoramus, he supposes that meerkats come from Russia, puts them in the Russian steppes, gives them names like Boris, Bogdan and Alyeksandr, has them talking in Russian accents, puts Russian hats on them and sets them up in an office in Moscow.

Then some smartarse points out that meerkats are endemic to southern Africa as he should jolly well know if he'd bothered his bottom to spend five minutes on Wikipedia, never mind the fact that they were featured in the most famous wildlife documentary in Christendom.

Now on any normal planet the idiot would have been booted into the street and the adverts quietly ditched and forgotten about. But instead they concoct this pathetic story about how they fell on hard times in Africa and went on this great and perilous exodus to reach the promised land that is errm Russia.

Then they produce another 10000 irritating adverts about meerkats, give away meerkat plushies to anyone stupid enough to trust their price comparator, and win awards for passing off this bullshit as serious advertising. Eventually it becomes an end in itself and they create a whole industry around Russian meerkat characters that barely has anything to do with the price comparison website at all.

As if that weren't bad enough the competitors for this product have all managed to come up with advertising campaigns which are equally stupid, moronic, irritating and irrelevant. I wouldn't get fed up with slapping that supposed opera singer in a hurry. And as for finding one vowel sound in the middle of your name and repeatedly making it sound like you've just managed to go to the toilet for the first time in about three weeks - words fail me.

Having to get involved in a domestic outside your place of residence.

Are you sitting comfortably then I will begin...........

FFS - I give up.... we have a gas meter in a wooden cupboard at the rear of the house and I wanted to keep an eye on the gas meter reading and temporarily shoved a spare ring (battery) camera in there so I could read it daily without braving the elements (just because I could). Anyway, first evening I was a bit shocked to be woken by the motion detection alarm going off in the middle of the night. Bleary eyed I pulled up the ring app to find a mouse sniffing the camera and seemingly staring back at me. :( The cupboard sits on decking and there are power cables etc under there and it’s right next to the house and so however cute ‘ mousy has to go’. So Amazon provides the stuff the next day and duly placed in the cupboard. Well first of all, the mouse seems to love the stuff and spends up to 40 mins chomping on it. I can’t be sure if it’s one, several or an army but if it’s one, it has the constitution of an Ox. Poses for the camera nicely and has been coming 3 or 4 times each evening/night. Surely it must kick in soon and fingers are crossed. But this morning I noticed the mouse had brought a date with it last night. A slug which merrily chomped on the second bag. Odd I thought, but this evening there has been no mouse (so far) but 5 slugs! So now we have a Fuffing slug problem. Looked it up and poison doesn’t kill slugs, they love the stuff apparently. So now I have to get slug pellets to stop the slugs from nicking the mouse stuff and I bet the mice live the slug pellets. Jasper Carrots mole solution comes to mind. So if you hear of mad householder being arrested for hunting slugs with a 12 bore, that’ll be me.......

I think the mouse has a table booking for 0300 hours (socially distanced of course) for a date with yet another slug. He has asked for pepper, but no salt. See if he turns up. Locked and loaded.....

:supergrin: :lux:

Pompous posters. Init.

This is mainly for Slimbloke'H'...

Having used this CAD software for the last two days to attempt to draw the plans for a project I'm working on, and can say I don't like it. Nothing in particular, it just doesn't seem to allow you to get into a zone, which I could get into using AutoCAD.

I appreciate it might be me, but it's not intuitive, and the tutorial videos are very basic, and the user manual seems to skip over anything but the basics.

I feel like I'm playing a video game, and having to get to certain levels to learn the secrets to doing stuff.

Then again, for under $3.00... I can't complain, although obviously I am!

My critters seem to like escargot... lots of empty snail shells everywhere every morning.

You post made me laugh BTW! :D

i feel your ring related pain.

We have grape vines over the front door, and a pigeon has take to nesting in them. Every day at about 4.30 it decides it is going for it’s first flight of the day and sets the doorbell off. It’s then back and forth every five minutes or so. About once a week I destroy its nest, which at this time of year causes a lot of grapes to come come crashing to the ground, and then it is back and forth every minute trying to rebuild it, which sets the doorbell off.

I should turn off the motion detector on the door, but instead I am going to buy a gun or poison the ******.

An automatic doorbell, how modern.

Surely the easiest solution would be to move the front door? Problem solved.

You don’t say.....

:rolleyes:

How is the Islamic call to prayer comparable ?

That is done for a reason. To call the people to prayer.

For what reason does a church ring its bells at 3.45am do you think ?

You div

You are such a penis.

I wondered how long it would before you jumped in with your bumchum.

Go on, try responding to the post rather than just attacking the poster cos you’ve still got the hump from 3 months ago.

Give it a whirl. Or alternatively just fvck off

It's a light hearted thread you old chuffer. :clown:

And my post was on topic. And shared by a lot of people on here (& Hol, it would seem). Maybe you should have a look at yourself?

It was until you and your boyfriend turned up.

As per usual.

Pair of dicks that you are

Grow up man ffs

Standard procedure in most Spanish villages, well at least Catalan ones not sure about the entire country.

Makes me want to open the Church of Satan and play Death metal every hour on the hour through the towns PA system.

The church in Coin stops its chimes at 9pm.

I won’t hear a word said against any character in one of the all time great comedies on TV.

Which is entirely sensible and respectful of others. Clearly the church in Coin doesn’t feel the need to show its ‘power’.

Indeed. Remember the church scene in The Omen ?

That’s power :D

You talk about bumchums and pairs of dicks, then tell me to grow up? Look at yourself, just for a minute. Do everyone a favour. Have some self awareness. You are an utter penis.

It has God on its side ... Worksop is a dirty sinner ... it's as simple as that!

He's a thick, snide prick.

As usual, you started it.

Why are you choosing this thread to be a total idiot ?

You’re pathetic. Now run along there’s a good lad

You are a penis.

Yeah, leave workshop alone...you're rubbish without your bumchum.

Workshop Penis.

Oh yes, recognise that. We have a garden full of various breeds of pigeons too (there are several people nearby that either keep pigeons or used to and they come and s*** at ours - pigeons, not their owners ). Occasional issue with detectors but more irritating is their fuffing calling at the crack of dawn. Surprisingly loud. The enormous ones remind me of the good aliens at the start of Fifth Element. Thick as proverbial though and always flying into our windows leaving flattened bird imprints and scare the bejeezers out of you. They are dopey and walk round being stalked by cats. I used to worry for them and go out but they get in a corner and peck the cat whenever it gets near until it gives up.

No problem with grape vines here though :(

P.s. - the mouse didn’t appear at all last night and so maybe the slugs scared it off or the ‘stuff’ kicked in. Just got to get rid of the slugs now.

I’d see a doctor.

It's a well-known fact that slugs hate cheese, you should put some in there :p

Have people become so.lazy in the UK that they need doorbells that ring themselves?