Been a prime member for ages but not sure why it’s any harder. Buying processs is the same isn’t it? You don’t benefit from free/prompt delivery but everything else is the same or at least I thought it was.

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

I'm not sure if it is the same reporter but today I see this:

Nearly 30 new cases of COVID-19 were confirmed in the Santa Clarita Valley Saturday, along with over 1,300 newly confirmed coronavirus cases throughout Los Angeles County. An additional 29 coronavirus cases have been reported in the Santa Clarita Valley on Saturday.

Again... why not just say "29 new cases" - it takes less energy than saying "nearly 30 new cases" and then in the next sentence say it was 29.

Because it keeps screaming at you JOIN PRIME! JOIN PRIME! YOU WANT US TO DELIVER THIS EVER? JOIN PRIME YOU BASTARD and the no thanks button is tiny and hidden away

God that pisses me off too.
On Friday was enjoying a rather chilled eve and some twats decided they wanted to play their own music rather than that in the pub. They didn’t make the second song.

Picking up on Mushroom's post: builders.

Because modern journalists suck. You've only got to read some of the BBC match reports to realize, that many of these newbies would struggle to get a C.S.E grade D if they were born twenty years earlier.Luckily for most of them they graduated in the 'every student gets an A and a hug era.' If anyone wants to see real journalism, they should take a walk on the wild side and go into Memory Lane. Some of the match reports from well over a hundred years ago are absolute class.

I will actually give these reporters I've bitched about a bit of slack, because a) they are doing written reports for a local radio station, and b) judging by their profile photos they are either just out of college or doing this as some sort of internship.

But I actually agree with you wholeheartedly. If these people see this as getting their foot in the door to becoming serious journalist they need to start thinking of a different career path.

And I appreciate people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones... then again I've never written a piece for public consumption or wanted to, unless you count this here BBS!

It’s almost like their Editor told them to write a 200 word report and they’re padding it out to fulfill that requirement. The above example just repeats itself!

when you apply for a job online, attach your CV and then they want you to fill out your last 5 employers READ THE FKING CV

Try...

Cassanova Smooth
Iceberg Slim
Clarence Sims
Hugh Hefner
Papa Silk

People at work moaning that they might still have to come to work after Thursday. Our business was very good in giving us full pay throughout the last lockdpwn and like most business's cannot afford to close its doors at the drop of a hat for 4-6 weeks.

Trying to cancel Amazon prime. I got there in the end but they don't make it remotely obvious. It's something that needs to be changed - hopefully we will see some regulation updates that outlaw this kind of thing.

The BBC's obsession with Manchester & specifically BBC Sport's obsession with Manchester United. Even more specifically, that awful 'journalist' Simon Stone who seems to be contactually obliged to write numerous pieces per day on The Wankers.

Today, a whole article on 'Paul Pogba: Manchester United midfielder made 'stupid mistake' with Arsenal penalty'

**** off.

My iPhone was bugging me to update the software so I did. Nothing too obvious except it changed the appearance of the music App, and added a Translator App (which I can't figure out how to use).

Then low and behold I turn on my PC this morning and it has updated its software. Again nothing obvious, except it starts off my asking me a bunch of questions regarding options/setting.

Why can't they just leave **** alone and stop making change for change sake. Or at least stop bugging me to update, and leave it to me to check it out once in a while to see if its worth updating.

Because then they can't control the built-in obsolescence that drives their future revenue stream so easily. As the software is "upgraded" so it is more and more demanding on hardware which encourages you to spend money on upgrading hardware every so often. And it is often not as convenient as even your experience suggests; I once (quite recently) switched a Windows PC on and it was 65 minutes and three reboots before the desktop came up.

This is less likely to happen with open-source and independently produced software. Even though Android has a Unix core, nevertheless there is a commercial overlay on it. If you fail to upgrade often enough you will find sometimes that you cannot upgrade at all and your hardware is basically a brick - this is particularly true of Apple.

I use Linux wherever I can and this reduces the problem to a considerable degree on PCs. Linux is still not mature enough on tablets and phones to make that a viable idea; Canonical tried a mobile Ubuntu a few years back but it doesn't seem to have made it into the air. Oh well. I did have a Chromebook lately but that was so hopeless for this kind of crap that when the screen broke I binned it* and bought a little laptop and put Linux on that. No touchscreen but it goes like **** off a shovel compared with ChromeOS and the like.

Incidentally we bought a laptop last year from PC World (*phtoo*), just a basic one for web browsing and to use online tutoring and (as it turned out) zoom calls and stuff during the lockdown for schools; and it was hopeless, taking ages to boot, taking 30 seconds to respond to a mouse click and applications not responding, that sort of ****. Anyway we put it aside and reckoned to sort it out later whilst we used another PC for these things. Eventually I got round to looking at it, and rather than spend ages trying to dig about (I am no expert on Windows), I booted it from a Windows USB and reinstalled the operating system, then to my surprise it was fine. I don't know what PC World put on the machine that made it behave so badly, nor do I know whether this was commonplace or whether someone had cocked up the installation. Obviously normally you would return such a thing to the store, but I had forgotten the machine for so long that the warranty was toast.

* ahem - I had it recycled, of course!

The BBS after we've lost. I give it a miss for a few days.

Fireworks in residential areas. Scares the dog, the cat and the baby. **** off you *****

No offence to you, but it's not that difficult: https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/help/cus...deId=202016220

They could make it easier, of course, but I am generally annoyed by these sorts of comments after Giles "Wanker" Coren wrote an article not that long ago saying that he had no idea that Amazon would start charging him for a premium service after a free trial period. Amazon then caved in and refunded him. Giles Coren is a wanker.

I just write that on the form. "All details on attached C.V "

Love it . When did dogs become such wimps?

Virtual office Xmas party ideas. All of them sound awful. Can’t we just go to the pub and call it a work meeting?

And guess who are featured on their live FA Cup game on Saturday? Yep - FC United of Wankchester.

Waking up half an hour before your alarm goes off.

Agree with this, virtual work socials are dreadful

Working for a company that doesn't believe in work Christmas parties

That’s not the end of the world, one of my favourite nights is watching people you work with all year make total dicks out of themselves.

Working from home and these are the ideas they have come up with - just No!


- Secret Santa
- Christmas WebEX lunch
- A work elf on the shelf - if people can take turns doing an elf on the shelf type thing and sharing that to the team via email/WhatsApp.
- A Christmas quiz
- A virtual advent calendar
- A competition for the most Christmassy work from home desk.

F**k, online work meetings are bad enough. I don't want to see your cat/dog/new kitchen or your 'adorable ' children. Just get the business done and piss off.

You poor sod. They are very strange where I work here, they love Christmas and decorate the office to within an inch of its life. They of course do a departmental secret santa and wear christmas jumpers from about 2nd dec onward. However no one sends Christmas cards to each other, found that very weird. Dont got to the Christmas parties for two reasons, one I live miles away so would have to book a hotel, secondly I dont really like enough of them enough to want to socialise with them outside of work.

I work at a language school for kids and even the above looks childish compared to what we have to do.

I'm far from scrooge - but I won't be doing any of that

I think your team needs to do some more work.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry. You poor sod.

If people are thinking these up on company time, heads should roll.

I feel I should share the whole email:

A few of us have been talking about this already and we’re keen on trying to make the most of what the year has dealt us by having some Christmas fun.

Yes, yes, I know it’s early but we will need time to plan. I’m happy to organise things again this year although if you want to be involved in organising something please say so – the more Christmas spirit the better! (plus there’s been a few suggestions and I’m going to need help)

Suggestions so far:
- Secret Santa
- Christmas WebEX lunch
- A work elf on the shelf - if people can take turns doing an elf on the shelf type thing and sharing that to the team via email/WhatsApp.
- A Christmas quiz
- A virtual advent calendar
- A competition for the most Christmassy work from home desk.

Secret Santa can still be arranged however you’ll need to be comfortable with giving out your home address if you want to get a present.

Work Christmas lunch is likely to be a WebEx meeting - we comb our hair, wear our Christmas jumpers, pop our cameras on and open our presents!

Please let me know if you want to be involved using the voting buttons!

And let me know if you want to organise something/have any other ideas for what we can do!

Christmas will be different but it can still be cheery!

Time to find another job I'm afraid

We comb our hair, what are they 5 year olds?

What if you haven’t got hair? That’s hairist

What is "elf on the shelf"?

Is there a moo option on the voting buttons?

There should be but not checked the voting options as I won’t be voting.

You office lot are feckin weird.

I was wondering that. I would pobably win such a comp as I have a cat that looks like an elf primarily on account of her huge pointy ears. She also has an elf suit and a little sign that says 'elves at work' on it.

She doesn't like wearing the suit though as opposed to another of our cats who loves his santa costume - I was having a bit of a 'Heb moment' obvs.

It's an elf and it's on a shelf.

Someone who's been at the djinn.

The video can become pixielated.

It’s a toy about your actual size that parents put around the house to brainwash their children to be nice before Xmas.

Firework *****.

Young Dennis is not enjoying our arsehole neighbours setting off the bastards. After midnight last week for Diwali, and now another lot for 3rd November or some shit.

Loads going off in Reading. Nowhere near as many as there was 30
years ago though.

I can picture the sort of person who wrote that. I've worked with them before. Basic as ****.

Nobody has talked about it other than in their mind. You can tell that by what's in the ( ).

The rest is just self indulgent.

Write an email to all the other recipients suggesting all donate to the taking out of a contract on the c*nt.

:moo:

Curse you.

Problem is...if you have the temerity to call out this as bullshit, you will be one of the first getting a P45.

One of the reasons I got canned was for calling out a couple in the team for being gushing arselickers.

Plus, as they are asking for help, send a pic of some christmassy humbugs..

...certainly acquire jars of these and scrooge, grinch etc.
Pics for the festive desk competition.

I would add symbols from religions that dont celebrate the 25th.

On the other hand you could go well overboard the other way...have yankee style xmas lights..a full manerisms scene, tree, reindeer, santa etc..

If you are client facing, i wonder how quickly the boss will put a stop to it..

Back in the day, wacky Pete collected tacky gifts from around the world for the office desk. About 100 ítems in total including a wind up bouncing cock and breasts.

Spider webs. All over the balcony and my barbie. Would'nt mind but I swept them all up two days ago now they are back.

How's Ken?

Sorry B B Q.

:supergrin:

People who call their pets names starting with ‘Mr’ or ‘Mrs’.

Mr Jinx just read that over my shoulder, he's not impressed.....

Is the right answer!
:lux::lux::lux:

And talk to them like they're babies, then dress ickle mrs piggywiggle up in a Wuveerly ickle jumper for her walkies and then go on about how animals deserve their dignity.

And call them their fur babies.

That and Pet Parents - to demeaning to be a pet owner!

Apple's spellcheck

Is it just me or has the Apple spellcheck gradually lost any logic programming that it may have had? I don't remember it being so plain stupid. In my memory at least it used to replace my typing/spelling errors with the correct word ... but now, perhaps in the last year or so, its replacement efforts show no sign whatsoever that there is any logic in the coding.

pmsl

And put the pets name on birthday and Christmas cards.

Really. Grow up.

Or buy them their own birthday cake.

How about in the middle? Where do you stand on that, Stav?

Meet Riverscharm Mr Mcgregor :)

https://i.ibb.co/M5HzSL8/Albert-Crufts-Ediit.jpg

Celebrating a pets birthday is odd.

I know someone who’s kid was born on Xmas day and they celebrate a half birthday :hmph:

It’s a dog, call it something normal like Jeff.
It’s like people who name their kids weird things and wonder why the kids hate them in later life.

To be fair, I'm joshing with you a little bit. RMM is his kennel name; in real life he's called Albert. Best of Breed at Crufts this year and owned and bred by an occasional BBSer. :)

"Crossing over the rainbow bridge".....you mean it's dead?

Italians.

The annual borefest that is Fireworks Fortnight.

Twitter. Been banned for having a conversation with (formerly of this parish) PK where we referred to Trump as a c~nt but didn’t actually tag the orange child molester.

Itchy hands

The saying 'serious goals' or with goals at the end of a sentence .

PK loves being banned, he gets more desperate in his attempts the longer he goes without a warning

The big hairy chestnut escaped the banhammer on this occasion. It was your correspondent who has been stopped from bringing sunshine to the lives of millions of Twatters.

Guilty by association

The Guardian, as usual. Their take on the new film version of Roald Dahl's "The Witches":

Sounds like a bus conductor.

The guardian as a whole. Full of all that is wrong with society from gross inequality to lack of worker rights but when it comes to the crunch offers piecemeal solutions and are now rushing to fall at the feet of vacuous Keir

The wait for the US Election result

This reminds me of the American propensity to say that someone has "passed" without adding the "away" bit.
Is that a thing in the UK too?
It's like the away bit is just a bit too final for them. Poor souls.

I see it as best of a bad bunch but still gets me.

I think peak Guardian was an article where the author was trying to defend their own private education

And whilst we're on about septics... my bug bear, mentioned here before: their inability to pronounce the letter T in bounty or county, which I've had to endure all too frequently over the last couple of days. Grrrrrrrr.

I agree. It's like when someone "loses" someone. What, so you lost them in Aldi?

"Passed away" is bad enough. What's wrong with "died"?

"Fell asleep" is/was oft used on headstones.

Jesus, those last two paragraphs are beyond parody.

I just read the whole thing. I used to read (and enjoy) The Guardian many years ago. The tone of that article just reminded me why I don't anymore, albeit it was never that annoying at the time I stopped buying it. I guess I am not their target demographic and I really have no problem with that.

Or "the poor old bastard kicked the bucket."

Having to wear a face mask to walk aroind our office and being told to do this via a video message from a CEO tucked away in his house. Our office already has strict social distincing plastic protective shields.

Another example of lazy English language used by Americans is the term,"my bad". WTF, my bad what? Breath, BO, back? Jeez.

The Americans know how to ferk things up. They have done a real job on the English language.