Worst thing that could happen to them moving there. At least that frees up an area to build some more Halal butchers and they won't have to look at their plastic Lego towers any more.

And gaps in cubicle walls so you can be seen whilst having dump/pee/tug

And the short doors and massive gaps at the base of the door.

This and the grande thing, piss off. I've made it a point when on the odd occasion I'm in a Starbucks to always ask for a small/medium/large and never any of that shite

YES! to both of the above :D

I must've been away too long because I'm f*cked if I know what a 'flat white coffee is"? WTF? How about a 'white coffee' or 'plain white coffee' dash of milk.... if you're in a poncey coffee shop get f*cked. Flat my arse. Australian shit talk.

Next time I'm over in Pret a Wanker must remember to order a cup of flat tea with no koala spunk.

was in McDonalds yesterday, asked for a small Big Mac meal and was told "medium or large".
Me: What?
Her: Medium or large - we don't do small.
Me: I don't give a flying what you call it just give me the smallest fries and drinks portion you have.

Period.

Coffee snobs
;)

Never mind about coffee I had a mate on holiday who asked for just the pizza base nothing on it, the bloke taking the order was confused (why wouldn't he be?) and asked if he was being serious, he just wanted dough? 'No' matey said 'wiv the tomatah and cheese of course' looking at him as if he was stupid. "You mean a Margherita?"...."what's that then?".

Hasn't CT gone through the menopause, I thought he was old enough to have

I always think a Margherita is a pizza that's had all the toppings slip off whilst in transit !

HRT ;)

A flat white is similar to a cappuccino, in fact it basically is what a capp should be, not the frothy shit you get at Costa etc

my drink of choice

just shove the ***** to the side, if they can't be bothered to read signs or look up our city's customs then **** em

I have to confess I got up quite quickly when we flew recently - largely because my knees were really starting to get unhappy about being locked in place for 3 hours. The relief when I stood up (even if I was restricted to standing where I was) was palpable

:D

Saggy tits

Paying £100 odd for my television licence, and being expected to be happy with "prime time" BBC1 coverage of people baking cakes

(just checked, it's £145 - even worse!)

Last year on holiday some woman in her 60's went topless... It hurt my eyes...then I realised that my wife's fun-bags will end up looking like that.

what's so funny?

Attachment 45098

that block v whistler,
sometimes turns up row 24 roughly 118 seat. His missus just totally ignores his anti social behaviour. its not just the whistling, its the comments, I'm not sure if he is just a sandwich short or has a genuine problem.
and he's definitely punching above his weight on the missus front:afro:

Is it Roger Whittaker?

Trying to walk (or even move) the day after playing five a side with 20 somethings.

Turkish mobs:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQOFHW7_ULk

Don't f*ck with the Irish!

Just hope Des O'Connor isn't anywhere near ...

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worl...-festival.html

What a load of bollox this is, the mind boggles.......

at least they aren't maiming and torturing animals for this one

Bloody jehovahs waking you up when you're trying to have a kip before work. Happily the chihuahua tried to attack one of them though, which was fun. Probably wondered why i didn't shout at him like usual.

Peoples inabilties to keep even the most mundane parts of their life of Facebook? do they generally beleive people are interested and that our lives are that empty we aren't enriched until you tell us you were 15 mins late to work?

That embarrassing slow hand clap bollocks that the HF start at every set piece we are about to take. It's the football not fecking Athletics and it was unsurprisingly watching the Athletics that reminded me how much it annoys me!

The fact the BBC genuinely appears to beleive them releasing who is going to appear in Strictly Come Dancing on a daily basis counts as news.

100% agree, complete rubbish. Punch isn't a javelin thrower so don't treat him like one

The Jehovah's Witness ?

People that don't nod or raise a hand when stooping to let them cross the zebra crossing. Manners cost nothing.

Good point, I nearly forgot how barbaric they can be

And the reverse, drivers who don't think they need to stop at crossings

I do that Elgin but at 53 it is "trying to walk for the next 3 days after playing 5 a side with 20 somethings!"

American gun laws

What about people still referring to the Premier League as the Premiership......that was 2007...Jesus!

What about numbskulls banging on about their 'poll tax' which hasn't existed for decades. It's called COUNCIL TAX.

Was tempted to give him a biscuit as well :)

Things that annoy you
 

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manspreading

Manspreading.

Not just that there's a stupid word for it, but the act of it too.

Person next to me does it at Palace. Close your legs or pay me the 20% of my ST seat your taking up.

Never before has the phrase 'too old for this shit' felt so apt. Christ knows how you do it at 53! Quite like the idea of walking football already tbh :)

Nice :D

This word - closure.

Turks

People with 560 friends on Facebook but barely get 2 likes/comments and about 5 happy birthdays who the **** are the other 550 people!

Always mob handed, always weapons.

EPL BPL

yes:veryangry

Facebook.

Having to pay for the bloody toilet in train stations. As if the fares weren't high enough.

That is a terribly English thing isn't it (or maybe European also?).

It's where the saying "Spend a Penny" comes from that my Mum used all the time I believe.

It surely does and I clearly remember as a tiny 3 or so year old being taken by my mum to "spend a penny" in West Croydon station. I got to put the penny in the slot.

Has a Palace link. When the Great Exhibition was put up .1854? It had public toilets ,which cost one penny to use.

Modern update: spend 50p

Slide the knob ?

Pedestrians that will walk onto a zebra without stopping first to check theyre safe to do so..

Persons ignoring safe crossing positions and traverse the road without looking regardless of the traffic expecting everyone to stop.... wont be so tough when your under my wheels

I almost saw a woman almost getting mullered doing this yesterday. She walked straight on the crossing in front of a car that swerved and just missed her.

Guilty as charged - but what is the difference ?

It's the same old sh!t but three times more expensive.

Ex Pats or anyone who think the top division in Spain is called La Liga. This is Sky's fault. It's either the First Divison 'La Primera' or Liga BBVA now that it's sponsored by a bank. The second division is 'La Segunda A' or Liga Adelante. The whole of the Spanish football pyramid system is called La Liga.

Rant over.

People who stick their tongue out as they are about to eat something .

Who the hell does that?

Just you watch and see. It's not a tongue stick out like a "Na Nar Na Na Narrr" but an almost reptilian tongue extension as the food is about to hit the mouth.

Normally around pudding time .

I do it when eating an ice cream

Well yeah, so does everyone when eating it from a cone. Couldn't imagine doing it eating something off a fork.

I do it when eating pussy.

Pmsl

Speaking of pussy, Raheem Sterling runs like one on the pitch, and that annoys me.

Is it the left hand dangling around ?

It's like he's a ballerina.

Crushed ice IN drinks

**** you if you do this

Crushed ice is for chilling drinks in glass, stop putting it in drinks

Unless it's a slush puppy or mojito?

I was going to post some caveats but decided not to.

Wish I had now.

A bit.

The accepted wisdom that a Scottish accent is more acceptable than an English accent for announcements, call centres, adverts etc.

No it is not and they can all f*ck right off!

Caipirinha too

Wimmin love it, that's why

There is a commercial for a woman's medication here in the US that has Scottish accents... seems odd to me as they are in the US.

Never sure of the thinking.

laughed out loud at this

Being eaten out by a Jock while sipping on a mojito, no doubt.

Jog 25+ miles a week but you are correct and it is far too old, the joints just can't take it!

Not sure if this happens in the UK. But. On radio everyone answers a question by saying so. EG ''What did you have for breakfast Fred?''
'' So I had cornflakes''
''Did you put sugar on them?''
''Sooo I thought about it but did'nt''
More ******* annoying than saying ''You Know''.

The British bloody weather, August Bank Holiday and we've got lights on because it's so f****** grim and grey the

So the most annoying thing about this type of shit is that no matter how much I despise it myself, I end up f*cking doing it.

It always amazes me when i see 80 year olds running marathons. I'll be happy just to be able to eat them if i make it to 80 :)

Women's (or it maybe just my wife's) desire to keep tons of crap especially if it's to do with their children.
Just been sorting out some cupboards and found my wife has keep my 12 year old daughters pram cover, when questioned as to why, the only reason when asked why is that we might need it one day.
Oh and Bank Holidays they annoy me, the weather is always crap nothing on TV

Oh and my Mother-in-law had just turned up dear God why can't I be at work!

The pub is your friend civil.

Has "so" replaced "look" then?

Pigeons
People who feed pigeons

Can't we're having a family day:sob

So far that has been up of clearing out the spare room, now ironing whilst watching 'Another Cinderella Story with my daughter whilst my MIL chats to my wife in the kitchen. Kill me now

Leaving my car in gear and forgetting I have done so when I restart it.

so really you mean yourself

Yes, and there is a long list of reasons I have for being annoyed with myself :)

But just now I curse at myself most when starting the car when in gear.

I did actually blurt out yesterday 'you stupid ****' and felt much better for it.

There's this homeless guy who lives on a corner near where I live, and just about everyday he feeds the pigeons and talks to them and then gets angry at people who scares the pigeons away