Drivers who pull up and stop at traffic lights and then only indicate to turn right when the lights change to green. Tossers

Come the revolution they will be among the first up against the wall.

Railway stations that charge you to use the loo

Any establishment that has a sign saying 'Toilets are for paying customers only'

Are you homeless again, OJ?

Mondays mornings after we've lost pathetically on Sunday.

The inability of Microsoft Excel and Microsoft Powerpoint to talk to each other intelligently.



I will add that there is probably a way to copy a sheet from Powerpoint in to Excel which doesn't **** up the formatting or make the font look like it's an old CEEFAX page, but I can't work it out. And that's the issue. I cant be the first person who wants to do this. Why isn't it just an easy button/command? Microsoft is just so shit at software.

Just been reminded of one that really grinds my gears.

Completely unnecessary, unhelpful use of generic terminology.

It seems to have started with estate agents and the police, and they're still the worst offenders, but it's spreading.

So we have police talking about "a male seen in the vicinity". Male what? Giraffe? Hamster? There's a specific word for male humans, it's "man".

Or estate agents talking about a "desirable property". Is it a house, flat, beach hut? Why deliberately withhold information?

Or police again appealing for information about a "vehicle". Do they mean car, truck, unicycle? Why deliberately make your meaning less clear?

I suspect it's some kind of wrong-headed extension of business speak. They think it sounds more professional to say "the male arrived in a vehicle and entered the property". No doubt they have been on many training courses to sound so artificially asinine.

The rest of us would say "the man got out of the car and entered the house". And people would have a much better picture of what we were trying to communicate.

Rant over.

People who build housing estates but forget to get things like phone lines, street lights, broadband etc connected to them.

Bloody fold up bicycles taking up loads of room on the train. If you liked your bike so much, ride all the way home.

That excitable arse from Oxfam or some other charity who's in your face with a patronising smile on any major high street in the British Isles. It makes me less likely to donate to their charity.

Didn't know Andy Johnson was your son?

Getting to the station and realising suit jacket and trousers are from different suits. That was pretty annoying.

But not quite as annoying as going home to rectify, your wife phoning asking you to do something at home and you consequently forgetting why you went home in the first place, going back to the station and then realising your suit jacket and suit trousers still don't match.

I have had better mornings

People unable to pronounce Marylebone properly.

It's not Marlybone for ****s sake.

People walking around London with umbrellas. Buy a coat with a hood you jebs.

Weather people using the word squally to the point of spontaneously combusting as an antidote.

Cold callers ringing the doorbell at teatime and making the dachshund go spare.

Anybody using the term 'backstory'.

Car drivers who don't bother to indicate as they're too busy talking on their (not hands-free) mobile

Watching TV and seeing the cameras or monitors refected in the actors glasses.

Tv shows that start with a preview of what your about to watch, I DONT WANT YOU TO SHOW ME WHAT IM ABOUT TO WATCH, IT RUINS THE ******* SHOW!

People posting Daily Mail links that never work.

Tell them you're 17 and they back off.

Anyone who stops me in the middle of a high street and asks me if I want to talk about Jesus.

I may be in the minority but I actually enjoy being curt with these people to the point I almost hope that they approach me. As the Blur song goes, it gives me a sense of enormous wellbeing.

EFA - and The bastards don't play - or it would be with their clubs.

People who refer to Arsenal Spurs tonight as the NLD.

love doing this to w******s who go in the right hand lane because they can't be bothered to queue in the left lane which has a bit more traffic.....serves em right.

Even when the right lane is signed as being straight on or right?

Yes. Very much so. If they had been signalling then I wouldn't be sitting behind them.

Do they think they are saving electricity?

People posting Daily Mail links that DO work.

The conspiracy between my bladder and erm 'old chap' to hold back about about 5ml of stealth urine during the normal pissing/shaking off procedure and then helpfully release this down my inner thigh just as I have tucked the old fellow back in.

This only ever seems to happen when wearing a suit and having to look presentable. It's like it knows or something...

Knobhead

What? He said he loves not indicating right until the last minute to annoy the people behind him, as he implied they shouldn't be in the right hand lane.

I asked does he do that even people are legitimately allowed in the right hand lane (i.e. if it's for straight on and right)

Thanks man:)

People who think they have the right to just pull out at a junction without stopping when I'm already on that main road about to turn right onto my drive.

Also when coming from the other direction past the junction - I have to go past and onto my drive at 20 mph to stop them pulling out and hitting me. They are too busy looking for any car behind me to look at what I'm actually doing.

And yes, I do signal (for all the good it does).

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...nday-time.html :p

Scum rag

Being sat on a closed motorway on your birthday trip up to see Palace play Charlton, and knowing you're going to miss the game with two tickets just sat in your hand :grrr:

:lux::lux::lux::p:vader:

M25? :(

.

A2 but backed on to the M25 as well, didn't start moving until five mins before kick-off so I turned around and have been drowning my birthday sorrow at home ever since! :sob:

Finally found a pub after today's game, but there was this bloke in there that had a cold. Why do people go to the pub when they have a cold? I don't get it. It's gross. Stay at home.

Not so much an annoyance as a puzzlement, but why do weather presenters refer to the 'odd' shower?
Why not infrequent or occasional?
What is 'odd' about a shower?
It's just short lived and wet isn't it? :confused:

The new font on iOS 9

People using umbrellas in covered areas.

Builders who promise you the skirtings will be removed by completion day then don't touch them.

I've probably already said this but it still gets right on my tits... traffic reporters who say 'due to an earlier accident' or 'due to an earlier broken down vehicle'. Of course it's ******* earlier, when else would it be? Are there delays on the A303 due to an accident that's going to happen this afternoon??

Apart from Lewis Hamilton and other British F1 drivers...

Always cooking too much fvcking rice. When will I ever learn? It never grains but it pours.

The sound of the referee's whistle during a rugby match.

Officials closing off the quick way back from the Olympic Stadium to Stratford International last night. Made us walk all the way to the tube station and around .

The wife.

Dara O Briain's recent over indulgence hosting Mock The Week. I'm not a big fan of the show but he's hogging the limelight far too much these days .

I've said it before but it gets no less annoying - complete ****wits conducting loud banal mobile phone conversations on the train home from work.

I hate Rice...
Looks like ant eggs
http://www.saburchill.com/ans02/images/180807025.jpg
Or maggots
http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/...s_3187338b.jpg

McClaren's ridiculous hair!

People who are too lazy to put down the shopping divider on the belt.

I think he should go for the Trump look. :bash:

Absorption method. Never fails

General rule - half cup of rice per cup of water - pretty much gets it spot on.

just looking at that bloke's failed barnet annoys me. Do a Rooney or shave it mate, just sort it out

Because they want too. I'm not missing out on the pub due to a cold. Don't like it then stay in or invest in a "bubble". There's much worse kicking around on public transport (or every single child of school age).

I suppose they might respond 'what the feck has it got to do with you and if I want to go to the battle for a pint with a cold I will. So feck off'

People fumbling for their Oyster card at the barriers.

People with no concept of personal space.

Suit wearing bores on the tube who think reading their shitty newspaper is more worthy of space than fellow travellers.

Shoreditch: Overpriced grey shithole full of pretentious arseholes.

I have an irrational one - this latest obsession of girls that wear mixed swimsuits, i.e. black bottoms red top.

insomnia

and people on hols in Hawaii ;)

People who don't know the difference between his and he's. It's not ******* hard to learn the language you grew up speaking you dumb ****s.

The use of the words "thank you for reaching out" by support personnel, like you're some kind of disciple to their ****ed-up cult.

If I want to get something out of a high cupboard, I might well "reach out". If I want to stop a bus, I might "reach out". If I want to catch a ball that's going over my head, I might "reach out".

Wanting to know the identity of my account manager is asking a simple question, not ******* "reaching out" in any shape or form. So shut the **** up.

Smug mugs calling other Palace names all the time! ;)
http://www.printedpensdirect.co.uk/i...o2-380-380.jpg

Why you looking?

The weekend list of jobs that i need to do, that the wife always rumbles up....... :(:D

Originally Posted by art malice View Post
Always cooking too much fvcking rice. When will I ever learn? It never grains but it pours.

General rule - half cup of rice per cup of water - pretty much gets it spot on.

Depends how big your cup is of course...maybe that's why you're a mug? (joking)

Sky ads offering great deals for new customers.

What about your existing ones you bastards?

Don't worry. Once those unsuspecting shiny new customers are ensnared they'll be paying the same as you very very soon. Mwhahahaha!

Combine this post with your 'why do women leave their high heels on in porn films' and it starts to paint a pretty vivid picture of you H ....:bash:

Yes I'm a fully paid up member of the dirty old men's club.

Steve McLaren's haircut. He should bite the bullet and get a number one all over

Steve McLaren's teeth. He shouldn't have bit the bullet.

I don't care about catching a cold off a stranger in a pub, I just don't want to listen to it. I repeatedly heaved into my pint well after he'd smoked his cigarette and moved back into the pub. It was gross and nasty. Even now I can feel my stomach starting to turn.

Sneezing and apologising and not using a tissue - just go home.

How ruddy awful for you

I loved Shoreditch in the 80's. It now needs bombing.

Alternatively, you could just buy a pass when there is something on that you really want to see?
If you sign up to a contract with Sky you deserve all you (don't) get.

Cashback.

Go to the cashpoint you lazy bastards and stop holding the rest of us up.

Cameras repeatedly zooming in on royals at big sports events. Yeah, rub it in... best seats at the most sought after events where tickets are like gold dust and the ***** got in for nothing.

How does that work - you cheer on England, but your dad is the Prince of Wales? :confused:

Probably because he isn't. Allegedly.

MBNA - possible the worst company I've dealt with. They make money through their own incompetence.

Good news for you then, debit card charges are changing from a fixed fee to a percentage so cashback will die out as it's gonna start costing retailers money

Photos and footage of fat people with no heads out shopping. They thought their journey would end at Wimpy but find it's actually at News at Ten, unwittingly starring in a report on the clinically obese being a ticking time bomb for the NHS.

Not available where I live nor is any alternative. But thanks for your insight anyway :rolleyes:

Viz had an answer to that...

https://40.media.tumblr.com/652a4582...7xtao1_400.jpg

Removing to when saying you are going somewhere. Going Tesco, even worse when you see people typing it!

Kelly Cates' voice. She sounds a bit, I don't know, vacuous... like she'd be more suited to presenting a show on BBC3 about reality tv 'celebrities' shopping for handbags.

People who leave half of their sandwich in the butter

You would though

Who types that to you...many people?

Easy click engineered wood flooring. Easy click my arse. Smashed my fingers to feck with a mallet and a 'tapping' block.

Clumsy fecker :D

Slaphead ( ex C Grade golfer) Critchley's utter bilge ramblings on Sky.

:D

I'm paying for all those ebay collection trips tonight. Going for a soak in the bath i think. Theworst thing is i only did a third of a room, and it was the easy bit. Just going to do a bit each day, my knees cant handle more than 3 hours crawling about before work.

Golf do people still play that?