Errr no.

That's the soundtrack to Christmas!

Use the red one! Wuss.

Black Friday. It has now morphed into 'Black Friday Week'

TFI Friday. Rant incoming.

utter insipid bollocks, I know there is currently a stupid trend for 'retro' 90s things but has there ever been a bigger case of rose-tinted glasses.

I hate it, hated it when it was first around, hate it even more now. the repetition of stupid crap (yes rolling a malteaser down a tape measure might be funny a couple of times but by the 18th time in the show, complete with drum rolls and moronic audience cheering each time, it...grates)

Look! here's a butcher with some meat, he's just gone down a little slide. Everybody cheer and laugh and applaud! then lets do it again 20 times.

A little kid is going to ask a celebrity a funny question! Everybody cheer and laugh and applaud! then lets do it again 20 times.

Chris Evans, with his freshly dyed ginger hair and arselicky interviews, mentioning how wacky live TV is every few seconds. Everyone hated him in the 90s, so much so that he disappeared off TV because no-one could stand him - now he's back and everyone suddenly loves him. WTF people.

Smug producer Will. The glazed-eyed idiots in the audience cheering and whooping at anything. Ocean Colour Scene still being used as the jingles. Elderly Duran Duran miming onstage. Reading out viewer's letters, brilliant TV.

Before anyone says anything I have to watch it because for some reason my Mrs likes it. Surely I'm not the only one to see this as the utter, utter, utter shite that it is though?

It's only a restaurant and no-one forces you to go there.:confused:

If I'm at an airport waiting for my luggage to appear on the carousel, I am able to see it arrive from a fair distance away from the carousel. The advantage here is that other people can see their luggage too.

However, if a bunch of stupid ***** stand right in front of the carousel (especially with their ******* baggage trolley right next to them), you can't see your luggage at all. And if for some reason you do catch a glimpse, you can't get to it anyway.

*****.

Excellent rant. It's banned in my house as stuff would get damaged as I'd kick the bejaysis out of the room and spit at the telly using language you wouldn't hear from a docker.

I'm not convinced it is:

http://i.imgur.com/LLvNYCE.png

Palace

Wayne Hennessey

******* football

Sexyrazor watching Palace.


Grrrrrrrr.

Defoe

Beat me to it!

People that CONSTANTLY moan about the X Factor. Don't like it..don't watch it. There is only a few hundred other channels to watch or millions of films or catch up tele ffs. It's all a bit pathetic.

People watch it week in week out and make comments like this should be scrapped, it's years out of date etc...THEY WATCHED THE BLOODY THING.

Oh and Defoe.

Fat, Tub of Lard, Barrel of Atora, Mattress Muncher, Salad Dodger, Shame to see he is still off his food, dumpling bollocks Sam ******* Allardyce

You have to watch it because your wife likes it?
Surely you could do something else instead when it's on?
If I felt I had to watch everything my wife liked, life wouldn't be worth living.

Virgin Media sending me promotional post I always write 'not at this address' on it but roughly monthly get another one. Anyway of stopping it?

Move.

Kill the postman.

Stop buying houses.

yes


https://keepup.virginmedia.com/optout

I can't believe they put restaurants on TV nowadays . What's the point in that?

Anyway, stay clear of TGI Fridays and head for the old jerk chicken place on Whitehorse Lane. :p

Failing that, go to Sainsbury's and buy a sandwich, which you can eat in the car park.

Drunk away fans who sing on there own whilst staggering down the WHL. Always one every game.

BOLAISE

:veryangry:veryangry:veryangry

Or do what they did on Goodfellas, threaten to shove him into a pizza oven. "If any more mail comes to my house from Virgin Media, head first into the f*ckin oven you go".

Spaghetti Bolaise.

Awesome thanks for that. The bastards have been hounding me for months as well.

That said filling out the form did force me to read the following passage and then puke in my own mouth.

'Thanks for getting in touch. So you want to unsubscribe from our marketing – that’s totally cool. The last thing we want to do is send you things you don’t want.'

Lumps of Coffee in the sugar pot at work, i drink TEA for a reason you dirty scumbags !

Thanks

My elderly mother received so much promo material from Virgin that she started to feel they were targeting her personally. It began to bother her quite a bit.

Jiss in their Nescafé Gold.

Good shout, also those scumbags making everyone a drink who don't rinse the spoon after making coffees and leave a small kick of coffee flavour in my tea.

He said he didn't drink coffee.

Adverts on tv. I'm even getting annoyed when fast forwarding.

Jizz you stupid slag

Speaking Spanish Innit.

When the doors of an already shite train service shut in front of you, not once but on both connections home.

I feckin hate that. The sugar spoon is a dry object. It does no wet work. Bastards.
I told one of my Spanish lads I would sack him, if he did it again.
Tea, nectar.

"That's totally cool"

Virgin Media getting all sarky on you if you dare to tell them to shove the junk mail up their router.

Twisted socks .

Give up sugar?

I hate all that nicey feely wank-word bingo.

Words like "Snap", "Aw" and "No problemo".

I made that last one up but I bet it's somewhere !

Also, trademarking phrases annoyes me. I'm sure I saw "good morning" or "hello" trademarked on an advert .

People that take regular days off sick thru the workng year, and then at the end of the year make a big song and dance about how much holiday they have left and how on earth are they going to use it all up.............

Black Friday - I am just going to hide under a blanket all day.

a young man in a customer service role, late teens calling me Dude

can't even mock the septics for this any more after the scenes last year :(

More than that wet socks after you've wandered into the bathroom to do your teeth. Sodding eleven year old messy sod.

That's American shite as usual. It's jiss short for jissom.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=jissom

'Owned' ie Palace owned Chelsea.

Wtf is that all about ?

Why can't people talk properly these days ?

That Best of You song by the Foo Fighters. Stop shouting FFS

Phuc Dat Bich man admitting it was all a prank.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-34918491

Jesus. Up your own arse much? The reason no-one questioned it is because it was mildly amusing and no-one thought that anyone would be sad enough to bother making something like this up. What a tool.

Wobbly tables in restaurants or pubs. Shitting myself because it feels like the f*cking thing is going over everytime I put my arms down on the table isn't my idea of fun when I'm out trying to relax.

conspiracy theories

People who seem incapable of walking along in a straight line, especially the ones that have the cheek to get annoyed when they walk into you as you overtake them.

The apprentice, I watch it every week and end up in fits of apoplectic rage. Why do I watch it, in fact I'm more annoyed with myself for watching it

Light bulb went out in hallway can light, so get a new LED bulb. Horrible light (needed sunglasses to look at it), so take back and get incandescent ones which only come in pack of 2. First bulb is screwed in, turn on power and it goes flash bang and black. Unscrew and put second one in. Again a horrible sort of blue light - so take both back. Drive to different store and find the one I'm looking for, but only comes in a pack of 3! FFS - the original bulb has been in the hallway since before we moved in 22 years ago! Why would I need 3???

Anyway, screw the first one in, and without wishing to sound like Goldie Locks is just right. Now I have to store the 2 left over somewhere and remember in 22+ years time what I did with them!

What's that joke about How many Engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Double post - that's pretty annoying also!

All-day every day cocktail bartender drink-throwing training sessions. Excuse moi, mais c'est tres pathetique. Et pretentious. Who cares if a cocktail waiter/waitress can chuck a few bottles & bits of ice about for half an hour - gimme my drink NOW!

You wont have to wait 22 years with these new Eco ones. They go pop on a regular basis. I'd keep them close by if I was you.


So continuing the things that annoy me. New Eco lightbulbs that only seem to last 5 mins.

....and take four and a half minutes to brighten sufficiently so you don't piss on your shoes.

Talking of lights, my family thinking we live in a lighthouse, when I get home from work my first job is to turn all the lights off in the empty rooms!!

The silly posh voice that people use during important phone calls.

The use of 'so called' for ******* everything, just stop.

I'm still amazed that the kids struggle to realise that the light switch turns them off as well as on

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-34933962

This everybody, even with a brain the size of a pea, knew this would happen. £10 million savings but an increase in evasion that looses an extra £30 million. Dooohhhhh

Put timer switches everywhere. Sorted.

Yep and me

Is it like Blackpool Illuminations at your house ?

Must resist urge to say something about Maz :)

Nigel Pearson not getting another job yet. Getting withdrawal symptoms from a lack of press conferences.

I like the cut of your jib. How do these work with normal light switches?

Get some candles - much cheaper. With the cash saved u can buy a Christmas tree AND set it alight.

My old man would turn off every light he could it seemed as he walked around the house, even if people were in it sometimes. He'd then leave the fridge door open for minutes on end when making food.

You've visited my house

:afro:

:) Quite possibly. Always curious how some people always seem to be the ones opening the windows and turning on the lights, whilst others are always doing the opposite. Can't be anything to do with who pays the bills can it.

Apps that are free to download, but when you want to see the tutorial you have to pay for the full up version. Sneaky bastards!

People with umbrellas who think it's fine to barge through crowds with no regards for those around them.

You just change the switches for those ones you sometimes see in khazis. Failing that motion detectors :)

Attachment 45561

People that leave the clear plastic film on over their watches, phones, electronic devices etc that comes with the packaging. In fact, even leaving the price sticker on the cover of a CD will drive me up the wall. Just peel the ******* thing off.

Even worse, people that keep the plastic pin protector on electrical plugs and put it back on when they've finished using it. Dear god.

People saying 'enjoy the game.'

They haven't got a fvcking clue.

Will have a look, cheers :p

They are usually these sort of people;

"Did they win last night? Oh, thats a shame! They should be beating Sunderland shouldn't they? Oh well, maybe next time they'll win. Its Newcastle next you say? Oh, they should beat them shouldn't they?"

These people think football is a simple game.

Weather presenters saying squally.

When my Macbook decides that it doesn't want to recognise the battery anymore and now I can only use it with the charger

Steve McLaren's stupid isolated 'Isle of Shearer' tuft. Steve McLaren in general.

Could have stopped at weather presenters.

The way you are looking on the internet for, say in my case a new watch, and from then on nearly every website you go to has watch advert banners all over them.

The stupidity of it is, if I have found a watch I like and bought it, the last thing I am in the market for is a watch.

I've had this happen with cars, trainers and monitors recently.

I can totally empathise.

Whatever you do, don't look up massages!

How come my name is showing up as Hedgehemphasis85046

Is that better?

Getting there!

Hedgeho

I feel better knowing it was operator error! I thought Dave was messing with me! :D

People who buy Apple products then complain about the built-in obsolescence. :D

I know this too well :S:

And autumnal.

Plaster dust everywhere and the steam mop has packed up.

Are you cutting it with the good stuff!
http://img.thesun.co.uk/aidemitlum/a...0_2387959a.jpg

Tyson Fury, the David Brent of boxing. Firstly singing to his missus (fingers down throat embarrassment) then saying the win was down to Jesus.

Yes mate I'm sure Jesus condones your violent job of trying to smash people's heads in and is right there ringside in spirit shouting "stove the c*nt's swede in".

Peace man.

People putting their Christmas decorations up before the end of November.

My Mrs can't stand the one on GMTV as the only word she seems to know is "blustery", she calls her "that blustery blustery woman" (personally I think she's gorgeous!). On Friday though, after the wife said "I bet it's going to be blustery today!" I did count how many times she used the word in one forecast , 17 blooming times :D