this, haven't been this nervy for a match for a while. 2/3 wins and I'll relax

Starting today fingers crossed.

And staying on the football theme...Palace strikers who are persistently caught offside.

People who are late so often they don't give a shite if they are late.

getting turned over by West Brom. West Brom FFS!!!!!

Football

football managers with surnames beginning "P"

GPD on a day like this. It should be closed for new posts for 24 hours while everyone calms the **** down.

Jim Watt

Just checking you meant that literally on the boxing thread. You did:D

POTD

Yeah that Popovic fellow is a real ****wit

Someone needing to be literally stabbed in the box before Palace get another penalty.

The ******* "double cheese" upsellling attempts they do really ******* annoy me. A fiver works well, stop trying to trick me into paying 50p extra for a couple of ******* cheese slices.

Badgers.... stripey ****ers make up your mind what colour you want to be and get out of the ******* road!

Ignorant ex pats who refuse to integrate and don't even know it's Andalucia weekend where bars chuck out free food and cheap beer (always cheap beer anyway mind) and put up bunting and balloons and party with the music of the place. "Oh no f*ck all that dego shit I'm staying in my English bar, forever".

You live here you f*cking bastards. Have to say many of us do join in and are welcomed but those that don't are probably the same thick tossers that left the UK "because of too many immigrants". Well you are the 'black bastards' now. F*ck off back to England.

Very true and no doubt were the first to criticise immigrants not intergrating in England.

integrating.

Idiots that can't spell or punctuate properly correcting their political opponents on here.

Doh.

Everything is annoying me today

Politicians

Old women.

Robbie Savage

The illiterate missives from my son's teacher.

You could send it back with corrections in red ink and a C grade.

Having a cold

Know what you mean. Felt freezing all day.

Probably going cold turkey from the varnish fumes :)

Still going strong with that nonsense sadly, done 2 coats of the decking and just sealing the underneath with some more. Have to do some each day before the brush dries up :)

Rufus Hound

Miranda Hart,about as much fun as cystitis.

Painting screw heads a wood-like colour

http://i.imgur.com/hDrweba.jpg?1

http://i.imgur.com/HR0tNfr.jpg?1

http://i.imgur.com/a2Ui9RI.jpg?1

Note to brain: Buy the right bloody colour next time.

Are you trying to create your own mini Terracotta warriors display?

:)

The paint probably won't stay on them anyway, but the 'antique' coloured version of those screws cost an arm and a leg, believe it or not. So I'm hoping this 5 pound alternative works. Poking 600 screws through cardboard took a while, so qualified for the category.

People who say "truth be told".

Oh, and while we are at it, people who 'seize the day', Carpe Diem and all that cobblers. I miss the days when all the working class needed from Latin was Status Quo.

Or people when you're queuing at the bar "Veni Vidi Vici" - jeez.

Some annoying bloke on an ad they've got running on the radio: "It's a story of how one thing led to another!"

That's what a story is, you prick.

Anyone who says "even a broken clock is right twice a day"

I was just thinking, won't the screwdriver scrape the paint off again?

I hope not, because you deserve success for all your effort and ingenuity. And I'm sure you tested the theory on one, before you went ahead with the effort of doing all 600...you did, didn't you Elgin?

Gastropubs, having to eat a burger off driftwood instead of a plate because a twat with a beard thinks it's cool.

I very nearly punched a diminutive, and female, colleague who steadfastly refused to stop saying, "Today's Wednesday - all day" - and for Wednesday read any c*cking day of the ars*ng week.

That's why god gave us Wetherspoons

I have a real hatred for TV shows that have a dartboard on the set that is not set at the correct height, i.e on the Big Bang Theory.

It was acceptable in Withnail & I when it was "a f*cked clock".

Finishing the end of a TV season and having to wait months for the next season

The pathetic little squirting nozzle they give you with a tube of Anusol

people who promise an AM delivery.

They don't want to be too presumptive.

Films that don't have a proper ending

I'll add to that with films where you can see 30 minutes BEFORE the end its not going to have a proper ending because someone mentioned to the director the word "Franchise'

Films that are shit in the first 15 mins but you have to keep watching in case they get better. They don't.

Trailers that give away the entire plot of the movie, including twists.

Or trailers for a comedy film that contain ALL the funny bits in 30 seconds.

Films

That was what happened with Four Lions... rented it on the strength of the trailer a month or two back. The trailer was funnier than the film.

Politics.

They should provide a free caulking gun

Very much so. I now deploy an active filter against films that have very descriptive trailers.

Just use the "Move review ..." thread on here instead.

Twats that put fliers under my windscreen.

Headrests, or rather people who extend the rear ones to the very limit. I assume this to show off that their Fiesta Ghia has rear headrests. The most bizarre behaviour. I used to assume it was 50-60 year olds who did it as it used to be a luxury but seen teenagers as well

postman plod - "Twats that put fliers under my windscreen."
Quite clever I'd have thought - so they break into your car to leave flyers? Just get some windscreen wipers & do yourself a favour

Shit like this.....http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england...ester-35708399

Over age blokes in baceball caps and cars I have never heard of.














Apparantly

People that can't spell "apparently" correctly.

Or baseball?

Is that the American word for rounders?

2/3 wins.....you may want to try meditation as it could be sometime.

Please refer to the thread on time to give it up or what ever, First post should do it , not the apparently , apparently:D

Lol. No I apologise for correcting you, it was petty!

at this point I'm considering taking it up

Oops, meant windscreen wipers.
Although saying that, the buggers are pretty industrious around these parts :D

Shit banter between football commentators

People who use this - :D - at the end of their posts in the desperate hope that somehow it will make what they have written funny.

:D

Ah, on its own it's a fine way of saying someone has tickled you.

QUOTE=Maz;12856425]Ah, on its own it's a fine way of saying someone has tickled you.[/QUOTE]

:eek:

Matt Le Tissier

What a twat

The 'Clean for the Queen' thread. God bless Her Magesty!

The betting culture in this country.

'Tap Tap Boom'.

**** off

Met him a couple of times and he was alright, good company. He once said "Hi Nick" as he passed me when I was at St Mary's with some friends who are Southampton fans. The look on their faces was priceless. They were literally speechless that their hero (who they were too shy to go up and talk to) knew who I was. So I will always have a soft spot for him for giving me a fleeting moment of looking cool.

Raheem Sterling's ridiculous Mungo Jerry look.

Oi I'll have you know that Mungo Jerry is a great bloke. Saw him in concert last summer. Came on at 1 in the morning and rocked till 3.:p:lux: At the Jazz Festival in Bansko, Bulgaria. Great night.


Bet you Raheem doesn't have that stamina:p

I just have to add this:afro::afro::afro:

Again. A select women in Spain, in one of my local bars, every time I see them, going on and on and on, from last November til now, about a 3 day hen do in Magaluf, Mallorca in June. Going on about what they're going to wear their nails their hair for the duration on and on. YOU LIVE ON THE COSTA DEL SOL YOU CAN DO ALL THAT TOMORROW IN TORREMOLIMOS YOU STUPID F*CKING SAD BASTARD SLUT FACED C*NTS.

This one annoys me more :lux:

:D

:lux:

Fair play

Twat was a tad harsh maybe. He just grates on me that's all.

Does he ever play in the winter time?

The fact that he's currently appearing in Bulgarian jazz festivals in the early hours suggests that he'll literally play anytime/anywhere.

Lineker. MOTD is barely watchable with his mob winning every ******* week these days

Is it just me or has one of the recent updates of iOS turned the auto-correct function even more annoyingly random than it was before?

iOS trying to get me to upgrade to the latest version EVERY ******* DAY. I cant turn it off or decline, its a new Big Apple thing. I don't want to upgrade because every time I do I either hate the changes or it ****s up my phone/ipad

Palace kicking off bang smack in the middle of Mother's Day Sunday lunch.

Cheating scouse ***** and imcompetant officials.

Klopp. Him and his officials cheated Malaga now this. Dirty stinking scruffy bratwurst up his shitter c*nt. Have a wash and a shave you filthy kraut c*nt.

Post match threads.

Also Liverpool pricks.

Palace fans who say "we deserve to go down"

Liverpool fans who havent got the bollocks to reply to messages for the last 3 years and now all come out the woodwork to gloat. **** off you ******* pricks.

'We go again'

Rapidly overtaking 'parking the bus' as the most irritating phrase used in football.

People falling over themselves to give the most gushing tribute to their mum on Facebook.

One thing we can be certain of is that we all have mothers, and 98% of us (Eminem and a few others aside) love and cherish them but twatty social media users have to go further and bang on about 'their rock' and 'inspiration'

You love your mum, brilliant, that's as it should be, but give her a call, buy her card or send her flowers - putting those messages on FB is done as much (if not more) for your own benefit to gain the usual sycophantic attention as it is for your mother.