Someone on here gave his ST to his mum on Sunday so she could go to the match,

Seemed like a wonderful act at the time.

Both my sisters do a tribute to my dad who died 6 years ago - on his birthday, his anniversary, fathers day and more recently Christmas. They try to out do each other with longer poems and comments. Neither I or my 2 brothers do anything of the sort just remember him in own way.

Such tributes are not exclusive to my sisters either.

:D

I read that as STD at first. :eek:

My dog deciding my new motorbike gloves taste better than his dinner.£120 out is arse:veryangry:veryangry

Is that 'out his arse'?

Possibly, not sure after I tried to kick it back in him:sob:

Women who refuse to help out in a group task as they are female so 'let the men do it'.

The media obsession with a foreign election. Our own election didn't get anywhere near this amount of coverage 8 months before it happened as the US one is getting here and I bet the US news didn't give a shit about it either.

Too much choice. It does my fecking head in. Wanted to buy a leather messenger bag online and it ended up taking me fecking hours to decide which one I wanted due to there being thousands of the bastards.

Fvcking Coral ads with the blonde woman and the fat bloke and everyone's smiling, even the bookie as he hands over her winnings.


Odds on nobody smiling in a Coral for the next 24 hours
3/1

Congratulations on coming out.

'Leather messenger bag?' FFS.

.

I just read the user reviews and choose whatever the masses don't like. Most of the filthy British unwashed don't have a clue. :p

He works the pony express from Luton to Redcar, don't you know.

People who buy leather messenger bags.

Two shitholes. Redcar slightly better due to 'yellowtops'.

What's a messenger bag?

Are you telling me Melissa has had a bag fitted?

:D

Its Gay beardy kit...what would a normal bloke need it for?

Supermarkets nauseating shop music that just makes you gnash your teeth & hit someone. Then they intersperse that diarrhoea with so-called 'ads' for their wonderful products (not)

SC, I would genuinely like to know what you use when you need to carry stuff that's too big for your pockets?

(You understand, I guess, that I'm a messenger bag type of guy myself. I nevertheless respect your view on them.)

I think it might have got a mention at the end of the news bulletin's 3rd segment, just before the adverts.

Sweet juicy vag or hairy arse? Now that was an easy choice.

I don't know about that.
I was treated to 'Facist Groove Thang' in my local Morrisons this morning.

'Brothers, sisters, where the f*ck's the goose fat'?

Tartan trolley. Circa 1980 paper round stylee.

I don't carry anything that won't fit in my pockets. Wallet, phone, fags, lighter, shiv.

:D

What about your paddle?

http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/multim...7476_6425c.jpg

:D
FOC

(Pints in Reading, you div.)

Sounds like a plan...

Bring your bag SC will need to keep his tissues somewhere

Total solar eclipse over Indonesia and it's the rainy season.

Didn't need these :cool:

Mark 'Chappers' Chapman

Why? Always struck me as fairly innocuous. I am open to persuasion.

Innocuous ? He shot John Lennon.

People who let their kids piss in the street. I can understand on a car journey, pull over and pee by the side of the road. Not in the middle of the day in a busy high street, letting her 2 boys stand and piss against a wall outside the bank. There are plenty of toilets you have taken them to you lazy bitch.

Today, pretty much everything and everyone is annoying.

Never seen that happen....surely she could find something like a supermarket toilet to use.

Makes you want to go round and pee against the side of their house in retaliation.

Me neither. Maybe in Basildon. Seen loads of pissed adults doing it though, even on trains when the toilets are out of order.

Dream catchers. Feckin' dust catchers more like.

A Mr. Bean lookalike who lives in my condo & thinks I'm his friend. His long diatribes about his "adventures" are no more than you'd expect - normal day-to-day stuff a sane person wouldn't even remember 5 mins later. Think he was brought up in the Bates Motel. Sad but also ANNOYING!

People not able to keep to their own seat on the train so leave you hanging of the edge of your seat

I know, one called my Mum a slag but I kept my cool and pissed out the window.

So true, and they don't even try to keep to their seat knowing you're trying not to fall off. Legs spread open, i'm alright jack mentality.

General Palace Discussion - many of the threads have very similar subject matter, but people insist on starting new threads! In the end, I give up looking at them

Another one drives a duster.

Oh FUUUUUCK OFF!!

Where was this ? :eek:

'So Called Islamic State'.

What, do the audience of the BBC, Sky and others have a mental age of 5 years old? Are we talking about a fight in a night club?

I think by now we all know who or what Islamic State are. Given the atrocities they have committed I doubt they are concerned that the supposedly unbiased establishment media stick 'so called' in front of their name or try to confuse them with Liam Daish.

After all, nobody goes around saying 'so called George Osborne' do they?

In 1974 I was waiting on the tarmac, not inside the terminal, with everyone else waiting for a plane to arrive to take us from Sofia to Varna. I vividly remember a woman holding her kid up over a bin while a stream of piss came out for ages. Bulgarian chav scum.

But they did give us free sweets on the plane in case it crashed fair play.

Fair play to her for not getting any over her kid....

:D

I have been to Bulgaria a lot and this is common practice. Parents letting their kids piss all over the place in public. They rarely even try to find a wall, a few just let them do it in the middle of the street.

I wondered where the Easyjet name came from.

Oreos.

Foul, disgusting creation. God only knows why Americans love them. Now they are trying to palm them off on us. They were the favourite food of Clyde the Orang-utan in Every Which Way But Loose. Says it all, really.

Now there are Oreos Easter Eggs. The price you pay for selling out to the yanks. FFS!

It was in Barking, a lovely place especially when its in your rear view mirror.

People who email to tell me my out of office is on. Yes, that's because I'm not in the office you idiot.

American woman from Baltimore who lives in north London and thinks she's better than anyone south of the Themes.

I agree that it is stupid, but there is actually a reason for this. It's basically because there have been a number of different terrorist organisations each with different affiliations, it isn't always clear exactly what it refers to. There's a decent explanation in here - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-35695648

I think I may have done this one before, but Apps that reinvent themselves and don't ask you to update, but just do it anyway.

The new version being no better than the last one other than everything has moved and has new names.

No 50% of the time they are worse. The BBC news app being a prime example. Old one was a simple layout with three stories on each Top, World, UK , Sport, and a swipe right got you the next 3 etc . Now its a lump of white SHOUTING space guessing what you want to read and getting it wrong

People who pronounce company as compny.

It's got three syllables you cretins.

Man City's defence is poor without Cumpny.

I bought a leather-trimmed, organic cotton-canvas tote bag the other day.

I hate myself every week for not being able to resist the urge to see what 'Team of the Week' that idiot puts out. This week he manages to shoehorn Deeney, Kane, Lukaku AND Pelle in the same XI, supported by Payet and Gradel.

My only surprise is that he doesn't have Wilf in as rush-goalie.

I hope your parents took the news well. Good luck to you.

Just a couple of things;

1) Being blind-sided with a "well if we are close-by, we can pop in to Ikea - I just want to pick something up".
2) Queuing to park at Ikea
3) Being in Ikea - at all
4) Finding out there is a "list" while in Ikea
5) Seeing a massive queue for the tokens to get an Ikea ice-cream
6) Paying for parking at Ikea
7) Ikea

Isea your problem

A residential service contract from Virgin which tells me to sign and keep DO NOT SEND BACK. Why would I waste the f*cking ink?

Been off work for 3 weeks and we've moved to the office directly one floor below and each floor follows the same plan. I went to the toilet for the first time to take a dump and notice that there are no urinals and the toilet looks unusually flash, but thought nothing of it. When I come out of the cubicle my heart sinks when I see a female looking in the mirror who reminds me that this is the lady's toilet. I try to explain that the men's toilet is in the corresponding area on the floor above, but I just got a disapproving look in return. Now I have someone who thinks I'm a weirdo/perv/borderline sex offender

... And knows what you had for your dinner last night.

I've been on crutches after a skiing mishap. London commuters are easily the most inconsiderate shits. I've had people push past me, kick my crutches, rush on to trains to get a seat before me. I get it, I'm an idiot for having an accident, but it would be nice if people actually showed just a hint of compassion.

And then there's the issue of uneven pavements. I now know how elderly/permanently disabled folks suffer with the conditions of our roads and paths. They're in a terrible state and make walking on them when you need to support yourself very difficult.

Self-afflicted, you bastard... just like all those pregnant women who guilt trip people into standing for them.

:afro:

Dicks on sticks

I probably mentioned this the last time he was mentioned. Garth Crooks is a gay Malteser.

When you get offers like London to Birmingham only £6 and Newcastle £14 but never anything on SE trains to Portsmouth just £40 cheap off peak, super saver, OAP, railcard youth return.

BBS threads like this:

http://www.cpfc.org/forums/showthread.php?t=264366

Yet another excuse for a leftie wank-fest without anything positive regarding the need for reform.

Why is it that when I win an all expenses paid long weekend in Madeira and the dates are non transferable does it have to be over the FA CUP weekend.

So wotcha gonna doo? Wembley or watch in a bar in Madeira?

Stupidly bright modern led lamppost lights. I know they probably save energy, but why don't they put covers over them? Interrogating council bastards.

Agree with you. They are so bright you get blinded if you drive over a hill and there is one at the top. You can't seen the night sky and your night vision is ****ed when you drop out a street light zone. Hate them. Why cant they have made them LED but a nice orange glow like the old ones?

I hate the bastards, we have two outside the house. Bizarrely half the estate has the old kind, so they must have just started replacing them with these poxy things.

Coming to a main road near you soon, LED road marker lights. Nowhere near as annoying as the lampposts, but you get a horrible distraction in your rear view mirror as you drive along. On the plus side though, if you turn your headlights to sidelights its like driving in some virtual world.

A trendy chef on This Morning pronouncing courgette as courjetty about a hundred times....aaargh !

In the budget they can put 10p on a packet of fags or 5p on a pint of beer and the very next day the price is up. They put a sugar tax on fizzy drinks..........2 years time WTF?

Smoke and mirrors....doubt if it will ever see the light of day, hence the two years bit.

That would annoy me too. However I would never watch This Morning in the first place:D

Er, i just happened to be in Radio Rentals paying a bill and it just happened to be on...honest guv :D

:D

1: Look up your item on the Ikea website. look for the page where it tells what area to pick the item up from. NEVER VISIT IKEA ON A WHIM !
2: Why waste 10 minutes trying to park as close to the store as possible. Quicker to park further away and walk into the store.
3: Enter the store via the Exit - closer to where they store the goods.
4: Pay at the self service tills. Nobody wants to use them.

IKEA is not a day-out. Get in - Get out !

We have one right outside our house.

Its like 'Close Encounters of the Third Kind' at my bedroom window.

Whilst at University some years ago........we had a street light right outside the bedroom window and only a sheet for a curtain.

It took at least six shots with a mates air rifle to shoot the light out.......

And then the bloody council came around the following week and fixed the bastard.

Sounds like it was a day out for him though:D

People who advertise their old football shirts that have their own name on the back for sale on ebay. Just stop it, it's not much better than offering to sell your used underwear

Some people pay good money for used underwear.

Who in God's world would ever stump up cash for "used panties", which I am given to understand are freely available for sale? :eek:

Japanese businessmen pay top dollar for schoolgirl knickers

It pisses me off that Mrs. JJ generally likes to follow the arrows on the floor, which are clearly only intended to make sure you don't miss a single nook or cranny in what they have for sale.

The BBC obsession with Barcelona, Real Madrid or PSG. I really couldn't give a toss about them.

F*ckwits queuing to get a sub from Subway that don't even have the manners to say please and thank you when asked what they would like. I hope they detest olives and get a random one hidden in there that they haven't spotted until they've bitten down on it, ruining the taste of the rest of it. Now that's annoying too!