People who continue to watch whatever they were watching on their tablet after getting off the train walking at a snails pace down the platform in rush hour.

The gap between the FA Cup Quarter Final and the Semi Final.... was it always this long?

It's to allow extra time for everyone's Parish Points to be calculated

People constantly sniffing on the train this morning.

The very time they're needed, no beggars' tissues in sight.

Nope, in 1990 the semi final was April 8th, which was about a month after the Cambridge game

People who say 'egg-zit' instead of 'exit'

I did ask him to move the bags and he refused. That was what I was trying to share.

:p:D

7 years Lukas Graham

What a f*cking irritating song that seems to follow me everywhere.

good toon is that

I'm tempted to neg you

Never heard of it, does this make me cool or uncool

:)

Feel free. Let it out brother, let it out

It makes you fortunate.

Didn't you say "Don't f... with Mr Zero." ?

Coffee shops labelling their drinks 'hand crafted'. Whatever next , hand crafted Big Macs ?

By the way you should have sat on his bags.

Euphemism?

Indeed. Sounds like the guy needed to feel a bit of pain.

difference between McDonald's machines where they grind and pull the shot automatically and small coffee shops which are more involved

Him, and his bags, should have gone out of the window. Even if the window only opens at a slant of approx 3 inches.

People who rush to get on a train/tube then immediately stop dead as soon as they're through the door, oblivious to the fact that other people behind them might also be trying to make the train.

Yeah, they usually move pretty quick when shoved hard in the back though. Same as people who do that at the bottom of escalators, or at the entrance or exit of shops.

No,no,no,no,no.

People who, on this very forum, type "he's" when they mean "his" are the worst.

Top apostrophe work there :p .

Courjetti is when you make pretend spaghetti out of courgettes.

There seems to be a whole generation of men incapable of blowing their noses. Loudly regurgitating your own snot on public transport is almost trendy it seems. All part of this passive-aggressive "do what I like in public" culture, I suppose.

99% of the f vckwits on the Wembley tickets forum.

Ffs.

grammer, An - spellin! naziis

The weather, why is it always dry when I'm in the office but wet at weekends and bank holidays

just imagine if we get to the final...

Club have ordered another 100,000 Monopoly sets just in case:D

People who wear surgical masks in public , I am in Prague and a few Asian tourists are wearing them , Is there something I don't know about going around ?

The smart ones will be going for the Crystals calendars then flogging them to the #cpfcfamily on twitter and on HOL

:)

Head colds, can't hear or taste a thing

Japanese people wear masks when they've got a cold/whatever to avoid spreading germs. It's the other way round to what you'd think and rather nice of them.

Never knew that. Thought they didn't like our air.

Me too

F*cking Millwall get everywhere.

I was doing a lot of driving today, and there was a constant advert on the radio for "The International Champions Cup" from The Rose Bowl out here between Chelsea F.C. and Liverpool F.C. featuring world class players.

What is sad is they are expecting a sell-out (which is in the region of 100,000) considering the two teams in question will treat it as a per-season kick about.

I tend to kick away their crutches / walking sticks. This seems to indelibly stamp into their brains "do not block access points" :p

People who, when you've done them a favour, just go 'ta.'

Cold, insincere wankers.

Even worse, people who, when you've done them a favour and worked their saturday for them so they can go to some poxy horse trial or something, then don't reciprocate the favour by giving you a saturday off when you need one for Palace. Grrr.

I didn't know that either.

There must be a lot of Japanese rife with the cold all the time. Do they wear fart extinguishers when they go to work after a ruby as well? How very considerate.

Surely fart extinguishers would just melt? About as much use as a chocolate teapot.

Made of asbestos or iron?

AT&T - they are driving me to drink!

A classic "there is a hole in my bucket" story!

People who smoke in crowded areas

Utter scum.

Parking my car 5 doors down from my house, and finding a note on the window from a neighbour saying "pls park outside your own house"

I Would if I could, and you don't own the road!

Also scum. You should post a note to that effect on their front door. Maybe leave out the 'scum' bit though :)

Sitting in the service reception at main dealers waiting for them to tell you your car is ready when its actually been sat round the back for at least an hour to bump up the labour costs.

Sitting in the service reception at GPs surgeries waiting for them to tell your GP is ready when its actually been sat round the back for at least an hour in make up for a Channel 5 documentary series.

Undertakers laughing and joking and having a fag outside the church waiting to become all solemn and dignified again when you come back out.

Being driven back from my mum's funeral at about 35 miles an hour and thrown round bends near Ally Pally so the undertakers could get an early finish.

People who don't smoke in crowded areas meaning we have to endure others B.O and farts instead.

On the smoking theme, people who smoke at entrances so you have to pass through a curtain of smoke, dragging it all in with you.

If smokers used a little common sense there wouldn't be the need for so many laws.

Mad neighbours. Maybe I'll have to move, or they'll have to DIE!

Bricklayers wages

http://www.theguardian.com/australia...nt-court-hears

People in supermarkets cramming enough stuff in their trolleys to last a month just because the ******* shops are going to be shut for a day.

People that use the term 'whoop whoop' on social media.

And "nom nom"

And BOOM, like Piers Morgan did last night when his Donald Trump interview started trending alongside Countryfile.

wicket maidens while England bat!

Drinks on the move

People coming to view my "for sale" house clasping costa coffee or starbucks beakers and wandering around as if it makes them look "sophisticated"

women walking around waitrose with a cup of coffee in one paw pushing their trolley with the other apparently also "looking sophisticated"

Why would any dickhead turn up to view a house with a cup of coffee? F*cking idiots. Might as well wander around the place with a bag of crips or a doner kebab. Show some respect.

I tell you what... if they'd turned up with any crips https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crips I'd have called me mum :afro:

Lol sorry I meant Bloods.

I bet that the 'coffee carriers' don't bid on your house...sounds like they're just there for a nose around, no better than window shoppers.

Personally, I'd ask them to leave their cups on a table and collect them back when they leave. If they protested, I'd query why they wanted to risk spilling coffee on carpets they'd own eventually, if they're serious about the house?

I was up drinking in London Bridge yesterday, went to one of those sports bar type places during the day- dead quiet in their.

Went back in the evening, goober on the door wanted to see ID- I'm nearly 40, it was still dead in the pub and I don't drive or dont see the need to carry a passport. I mean what the ****, thankfully my mate kinda made the guy see sense, but why the in the blue hell should I have to show id to get into a pub- ******* town.

Even worse, 2 pints in the barrowboy £10.30 I nearly died, which **** comes up with these prices?

Lists of things people hate

I'd have boiling hot coffee ready in the kitchen. Not to top their cups up before they venture upstairs, but to pour on their disrespectful faces if they don't make a good offer there and then. That'll learn them for the next viewing. Probably won't stop them treading on dogshit and walking it through the next house though. Idiots.

THIS

Picking up a 'swish' curtain rail and pelmet on ebay in Inverness, then not being able to fit it into the cab of the train. Won't be so swish in a minute.

Isn't there several hundred yards behind you it would fit in?:)

Was going to stick it out the window but think I'll go with your idea :) Someone will do well to nick it anyway.

I think it's rather nice that you are allowed to decorate your cabs.

People ignoring my revelatory posts on forums

its the way forward. not sure blackout curtains were the wisest choice mind :)

Any reason for the superfluous "o"?

A **** that knows other ****'s will still pay £10.30 for two pints?

Instead of being a compliant **** why didn't you just tell the **** to stick his ****ing pints up his man ****? :)

I would've and let them pour the 10;30 down the drain, the theiving *****

Tim Westwood - turned up on Pointless, reminded me what an annoying tit he is

People that can't spell the word ****

I thought this Prick had disappeared. :veryangry

Do you want a bag for your shopping? No i will just juggle these pizzas, coconut water, roses tin and 4 cans of Stella all the back to my car

Some people bring their own bag for shopping .:)

I got asked for the same to get in The George Wetherspoons on night we drew 3-3 with mickey mousers. Stupid dumb c*nt on a power trip who couldn't understand why I wouldn't carry a fecking passport around with me as a 42 year old in the town I was born.

:D Amazing how many people won't pay 5p for a bag.

People some on the BBS,who think it's trendy to slag off the England Football team

****

Blimey, I've been on trend for the last twenty years. :)

:D:lux:

They are the biggest wronguns going. A friend was speaking to some people in a group at half time at one game and the person speaking stopped what he was saying mid-sentence so he could turn around and wave to the Crystals...from the Upper tier. Said individual has also been known to donate large sums of money to the Crystals' justgiving pages and may or may not have tweeted them good night on more than one occasion. Why do we attract such strange people?

The founders arms next to the Tate modern sells Pimms mixed with lemonade on draught, can't be more than 5.5%, £9.70 a pint. Dead serious.

Was in Tesco the other day and we wanted four slices of ham from the dele, hand-cut off the joint on display, which they did then said it would be £9.50! :eek:

The slices must have been as big as steaks or something was seriously fecked with their scales.

Happily told them to keep it.

Did the barman have a twirly moustache on his hipster beard for full effect?

Geoff Hurst... it was 50 years ago, change the record for ****'s sake.
If a doctor asked him what consistency his shit was this morning he'd probably drone on about the shit he had after scoring a hat trick in the 1966 final.

Its SIR Geoff Hurst!

That's '1966 World Cup winner Sir Geoff Hurst' to you mate!

Henry Cooper was the same. I'm not doubting he was a nice bloke but was there ever an interview where he didn't mention putting Casius Clay down in 1963??