A school headmaster wetting his knickers on the news because 'Banksy' has left a painting on a wall. That they would have removed in seconds should anyone else left the graffiti.

The number of different light fittings there are in my house, I think there are at least 5, bayonet, small screw in, big screw in, spot lights with pointy fitting, spot lights with flat fitting. Ahhhhhhhhh it drives me crazy I never have the right blub when one blows why can't we have just one type of light fitting.
Whilst I'm at why do we have so many colours of paint, we should have 6 at max, red, blue, yellow, green, white and black that way if you need to do a touch up you have a realistic chance of finding the right paint.
Some people suggest that what's gone wrong with this country since the 70's is immigration, others capitalism but my theory is choice, we have to much bloody choice these days and it's ruining things there should be only a couple of models and types of anything and then the choice is easy. Take holidays it used to be do I go to Isle of Wight or Bournemouth and everyone just gets on with it , but no we now have an almost infinite choice of locations, hotels, packages, airlines and car hire companies each with infinite reviews some good some bad so the sheer act of booking a holiday takes months of decisions and when you get there you never actually relax because you spend half your time worrying you made the wrong choice and you would have had more fun if you booked somewhere else. It was better before you knew wherever you went it would be miserable so you just got on with it

the 6 0 clock alarm!

Mixing the wrong quantity of hardener into the epoxy resin despite following the instructions so that instead of shiny decking i have a sticky load of boards that haven't dried all day and don't look likely to now. Dunno if i can do a second coat tomorrow with more hardener in this time, having a longer reach than Mike Tyson would come in handy. Tried fixing it with a roller on a stick but the material came off the roller and added to the dog hair and dust storm debris that blew up from nowhere. Poxy epoxy.

Tyson had a short reach of 71", you're much better off with the reach of Ali or Liston at 84"


Although this probably isnt of any actual help to your predicament

84" would be perfect, as the boards are 6'6" so i could redo it without the risk of overbalancing and landing on my face on wet resin.

But yeah you are right, it isn't :)

some sort of paint brush duct taped to a stick implement might be an idea.
That or a full face helmet

:D

The brush-taped-to-a-stick-approach is definitely what im planning, the difficulty is getting enough downforce to get into all the grooves. The roller-on-a-stick-approach was a disaster tbh.

Liking the insurance of a motorbike skid lid if not though. The fumes on this stuff are amazing. gurit sp320 its called. The stupid applicator on the hardener squeezed out a couple of drops, compared to a meaty squirt of the blue one for the resin. Should have realised half way through really that the hardener wasn't emptying as fast as the bigger resin bottle. Plank.

Tape it to a drone.

The wife?

:)

Adults who use the term 'bestest'. F*cking grow up.

Not being able to post a :jerkit: on the end of a thread. Or make any sort of reply to a snidey comment for that matter.

Besties.. urgh

No one in my house loads or unloads it. Except muggin's here. lazy bunch of bastards

People that pm you apologising for their actions being very nice and friendly but acting very differently on the main BBS.

People that don't respond to your nice and friendly request but prefer to get the last word then instantly close a thread. (if you are referring to my pm, that is).

Epoxy resin that refuses to cure no matter how much fecking hardener you add to it.

:D ???????

Groups of (usually teenage lads) holidaymakers who dont understand the science of cause, effect and consequence when standing in far corners of a swimming pool lobbing hard objects to each other in a game of catch whilst many other holidaymakers and their kids are using the same pool

Paying £1.69 for a magnum earlier in my local post office. Daylight robbery

You should've done a runner with it. Daylight robbery back. As long as it was still light.

Colt or moustachioed PI variety? Seems good value for either.

Rain landing on your sticky decking just to really rub it in.

casually watching a few episodes of a tv show and then all of a sudden it's 7 o'clock in the morning.

Breaking Bad was probably the only show that did this for me

Either the kids have hacked your account or you haven't had your Snickers!

Having to go to the shrink again tomorrow for more hypnotism on that bed.

Humidity

I'm pleased you are getting help...Good luck.

Thank you Les. Fecked if I'm thinking of selhurst park as my favourite place again though.

Try wembley....!

Oh..

Western-style pies/sausage rolls in their own special freezer @ the supermarket....unpriced. You guess a reasonable price but end up paying an extortionate amount @ the till. Good trick - but won't work with me anymore.

People who snot, gob and sneeze everywhere on a packed train blaming hay fever. It's still germs coming out of your shonk you selfish pricks. Take the day off sick!!!

Yes because hay fever lasts only one day...

'Morning boss. I'm not coming in today. I'm ill'

'Oh that's a shame Worksop, what's up?'

'Hayfever'

'Wanker. Find another job'

Going for Cyprus. Hoping she doesn't start banging on about the economy.

:D

Give it to her both barrels if she does

Or bore her to death with your decking story

:p

people who put their feet on train seats...Amazed how common it is.

the twat at london bridge who pretended he accidentally knocked into me, so he could get through the barrier without a ticket. Suit on and everything, get a ******* ticket. Wanker

I probably will, got to convince her i'm keeping busy :)

http://i.imgur.com/AMtH8ec.jpg?1

http://i.imgur.com/zD6XrfM.jpg?1

probably could have done it better if i'd followed the instructions, but who does that :supergrin:

Putting my clothes in the dryer and then going to get them an hour late and they're still wet. ******* stupid shit **** dryer.

Working with 95% women and literally anything sets them off crying....

Just mentioned my sisters appendix is about to blow up, which somehow got my supervisor thinking about her mum who died 12 years ago. Very sad, but as a man what the **** do I do in such situation. Ran to the toilet to get tissues :D

Should have slapped her round the face and told her to pull herself together.

Tell her the fixtures are out next week.

She's built like Chewbacca and would probably pull my arms off.

:)

probably get stoke away first match, and half the first team crocked :(

Attractive then;)

She's not a swallower then ?....

Cake cures all.....

Not sure what the correct response was, but don't think you HAW was the appropriate one

Sadly not. Still a few tears on the first one n'all.

The furore about the voting website crashing 5 minutes to the midnight deadline.

The registration deadline has been flagged up for MONTHS now. If people leave it until literally the last minute, then that is tough. Get off facefook or game of thrones and get your arse in gear!

And the silly-bitch MP likening any possible subsequent denial of the right to vote to the suffragettes! FFS!!

Apparently, registration will still be allowed today, so there's another deadline to miss...

Customers

The fact I will get all excited about the Euros until about 10pm Saturday night.

This x100. Always get up for England around about now and then when we get dicked 3-0 by Russia i'll remember why I shouldn't.

I have got my Russian hat ready and the vodka on ice. :D

Footballers pulling their socks up over their knees. (Seeing Joel Ward modelling next year's away kit reminded me.)

Berts Head likes that-says they look like Hold Ups......

The BBC Euro 2016 advert. What a bunch of ponces.

:lux::lux: my exact words (minus the f word) when i saw it the other day.

The neverending build up to the EU Referendum

Twitter bullshit rumours

:mad::veryangry

Politicians. Full Stop.

The world is bereft of quality leaders.

All looks a bit closet cross dresser'ish. Socks should never be over the knee.

Sky customer services - it used to be pretty good it is now a mare.

Shows that are called "That TV Show" or suchlike. Or people who have a name on social media like "That guy Jason".

Oh, isn't it clever ?

Pleb 1 : "Did you watch that TV show last night ?"
Pleb 2 : "Yeah, it was great ".

Pleb 1 : "Who's coming to the party tonight ?"
Pleb 2 : "That guy Jason ".

Thinking about that blue home kit next season.

x 2

It is truly awful

I haven't seen it. I take it I probably shouldn't

they may as well put on a pair of knitted tights

Blokes that are 21 and call themselves "ex-pro footballer"

You're not, mate. You're a footballer that never made it.

Also goes for anyone that has to describe themselves with what they used to be in order to big themselves up.

plus THAT Parish quote

:(

Please can you make an exception in my case. I used to be an IT specialist and now deliver pizzas.

so much you can do with stripes?

Well you can remove them altogether i guess. Blue Army.

When you finally get enough time to deal with the turtle head that's been creating uncomfortable pressure all morning and you get settled in for a satisfying dump and the bloke in the next stall drops the loudest fart ever and follows through with a splatterer.

Ant & Dec OBE. WTF?? What next,Schofield & Willoughby knighthoods?

Little tomatoes in sandwiches that burst all over you. FvckSAKE

Men who stand on gantrys

Suicide counselling.

How is she coping with you?

:D

Its like some mothers do 'ave 'em :)

I just want to forget about it and sleep, not relive it every week. Still its still easier than dealing with the russian hating clowns on here I guess. Say hi to stonepenge from me :p

People posting suggestions anytime anybody has a half decent game for anyone at the euros. Lots of anys in that sentence.

The Russians annoyed me Saturday..spoilt my evening until I saw a pissed up Welshman fall in the lake..:)

Meh, threads are free. Euros is every four years. Suck it up.

Newsday.

Why the f*ck do I want my news delivered to me by this dullard in Singapore?

http://i.ytimg.com/vi/tNTCaE7Qczg/0.jpg

Vaginal discharge being discussed on National TV during my elevenses.

Thierry Henry's f*cking big lipped French bastard c*nting face on my TV on Sky adverts on Sky pundit now on normal TV every pissing five minutes.

F*ck off you ****** French c*nt.

The french fullstop.

Is it different to the English fullstop??

Charlie sheen

Southern Railway. Why do connecting trains not connect?
Londoners ripping off tourists.

Yeah big lipped black bloke from france. Chockers how do you get away with it.

We all know you have been on BBS for mighty long time, but mate, newcomers like biggin breagle get off on your stuff.

Mods have a word if you are on dis ting.

street circuits in F1

used to be in a different period.

The bloke who drove right on my bumper, then cut me up at a set of lights so that he could move one place in the queue of traffic and turned off after 100 yards anyway.

Thanks for driving like a **** while you had your son in the front seat of your car, and mine was asleep on our back seat

Sorry about that, but you were driving like a f*cking granny. :p

'London is a series of villages....'
F*ck off you stupid knobs.

Talking of which, people who have Baby On Board stickers in their cars.

I mean, why? Are they advertising their fertility ?

'resealable' packaging that doesn't reseal.