Won’t even make them bat again. All positives from yesterday completely gone and will end up getting thrashed by an innings or 10 wickets rather than looking like making it at least competitive

Normality resumed

Buttler reverse sweeps for four. Nothing from Tuffers.

There would have been PLENTY if he got out.

Likes getting pissed though.

Turn the belief up and crush it inside 20 minutes. Good old England.

Public school bell who pretends to be one of the untermensch. Would fit in on here or the Guardian.

PK? Is that you?

Big fan of the feed going down. Looking forward to it coming back and seeing Leech and Wood in.

Ollie Pope is so overrated.

Is Warner out there?

Not sure he is

Although now you've asked that he probably is

Amateur coverage now

Gonna take a worldie off his ribs

"Harmy" and "Cooky" trying to fill is exceptional.

Harmison giving it a go but talking rubbish. Cook with the "I don't know why you're looking at me, I've got nothing to say".

Fair play.

Apparently it’s a power issue at the Gabba.

Shite Oz radio coverage still preferable to the Norcross/Tufnell cockwipe flux

Poor Art

Harmison talking through the monitor they get their info on, finishing with "this is how they must have watched it years ago" I think might have been my cricket highlight of the year.

Third man/Long on camera feels like a The Hundred innovation.

*****.

Palacesque almost.

Was better without the picture AM I RIGHT, HEY??

Is this Benaud CGI on TMS?

Ok now I’m actually off to bed.

Check PM's if you can be arsed.

Simon Mann bringing up Botham 81 FFS

WE ARE THE ARMY. THE BARMY ARMY.

Repeat x100

Where's Maidstoned

Hope c out b inevitably 0

ROBINSON AND WOAKES BATTING MASTERCLASS INCOMING

Getting bummed up off a donkey, no doubt.

Is that 4 caught behind? And one at slip? How many of those were balls they could have left outside off stump?

******* rubbish from Malan, Root and Pope early doors.

Left the party at this point and I’m just in.

Can’t even bring myself to look at the score.

What the **** sort of shite was that from Root? Wouldn’t have hit another set and he’s gone neither forward not back. Hopeless.

That final ball last night, way outside off and Root fished at it. A sign of uncertainty. They ain’t much better though. Gotta bounce back.

Hope this doesn’t jink things moving forward FFS ya paranoid fvckfaces

Moving forward we can only go forward from here. Unless we go backwards.

In these cliched times, we can deffo go backwards moving forward

I think you guys haven't had a lot of luck tbf, but feck me, you've been your own worst enemies with the bat. Given us so many wickets with shit shots and decisions.

OMG WE’RE LEVEL

Is Quinton Hull and Beames ? If so its fing shite. Totally amateur hour.

Stokes went a little back, a little forward and a little sideways all in one go for his dismissal.

But they will go again.

Why am I still watching this?

Because you are a Palace supporter , so its in your blood.:D

220-2 to that is just awful. On that track. In those conditions.

Smacks of wanting an extra day in the bush.

Called it.

Roll on next test

Waking up to this news is so disappointing. I thought at the least we would set them 3 figures to chase. Pathetic.

I'm not sure why anyone has any faith in this England team.

Because ATM, they basically have one reliable batsmen (and he's never scored a ton in Oz), 2 fine bowlers but they're veterans and the coach/capt thought it would be clever to save them for the 2nd test, have only 1 pace bowler available, haven't got a decent spinner and they seem to drop lots of catches.

Otherwise, they're good !

All it needs is for Everton & Verstappen to triumph this weekend & I will have had a miserable, albeit wonderfully financially rewarding, few days….

I couldn’t have put it any better.

That is smart, like it

https://www.icc-cricket.com/news/2409371/amp

Just bowl your ******* overs & stop cheating the paying public

David Boon never swore as a player :)


100 per cent fine is tad unfair I reckon

Do you think it was tactical? Or a result of Leach getting tonked and bowling more overs from the fast men?

Root says querying the selection is easy with ‘hindsight’. It was met with immediate universal disbelief.

Bet he doesn’t win another toss either

Goodness me I'm hungover

That might be a blessing

Seriously, and I’ve said this for a while and not just because of this test.

If I was a bowler in this England team, I’d be going f’kin apoplectic at our batsman. I’m running my swingers off and giving us half a chance in just about every test and you lot can’t even be fvcking arsed to play proper cricket shots. Getting caught behind off balls that wouldn’t hit 5th stump.

Hearts like peas with brains to match.

I assumed he was our batting coach

Add in the fact that at least one of them will be dropped for Jimmy and Broady, and the batsmen will probably keep their places for Adelaide, and you'll have a very disillusioned crew.

I watched the highlights not sure why maybe I am bored, the results didn’t change

The ‘highlights’ were for the Aussies.

It’s like us losing 0-1 tomorrow (wow wouldn’t that be a shock) and sitting there until the end of MOTD to watch the ‘highlights’.

I’ll give that a miss ta

Hadn’t thought that far ahead but yes you’re right.

Not sure what sort of pitch Adelaide will produce but you can assume Leach will be drinks carrier. With how weak our batting is, you’d think they’d have to keep Woakes in. Buttler is Rooty’s pal so he ain’t going anywhere. Broad in for Leach and Wood to make way for Jimmy?

Oh well it's back to the drawing board, the only problem is what options is there on that drawing board? the frustration is the day started with Both batsmen well set hopefully to build a very healthy total, but as what we have come to expect as normal is the usual collapse.
What now and what can we look forward to in the remaining Four Tests? need i ask.

Crawley for me. Good against pace

Great win for us. Really poor result for you guys and a poor game all around to be entertained by. I know we won, but **** that was some seriously shit Test match cricket. Travis Head, Pat Cummins and Ollie Robinson were the only genuine highlights out of what was a poor example of an elite level match.

Good?

Nah. Average of 28 after 15 tests.

As good as the others? Probably.

A decent summary Bones. No matter what though, you’ve got to love watching test cricket haven’t you.

Congratulations on a convincing and deserved win.

‘ We go again ‘ :wallbash:

Perhaps it was a mistake to go into a Test series with only one recognised batsman.

Oh well, at least we made them bat again. After the early hope evaporated (once more) we were up againt it again. We need to follow a good session with another and another. The next collapse is always just around the corner.

Do we have a proper 'test mentality' for want of a better expression? The whole team needs to stand up, not just different individuals at diffent times. If you cannot score 300 runs, then you are unlikely to win a test match. We need the team to gel and bring some consistency. Rory Burns has his strengths; test opener and slip-catcher are not among them. Am I being a bit harsh?

We move on and hope for a team fight. The ability is there, we need someone to harness it a bit better. Perhaps a foreign coach better versed in the 5-day game? We have sacrificed everything for a bit of bish-bash-bosh. Come on England, make us smile in Adelaide.

Disappointed my prediction of the Aussies winning by an innings was so cruelly taken away.

I saw we were exactly split - 350 / 500 - got 425. :D

Perfect summary.:supergrin:

For who?

I don’t see Crawley as any less flakey than any of his replacements.

I do like his red and blue handle grips though so get him in.

Agree. Bringing Crawley in doesn’t solve anything. Just brining in another walking wicket.

In that case, we can expect an even worse run rate when we play an all-pace attack in Adelaide.

Tactical? No, I honestly don't think so. It's just a lack of discipline from the captain &/or a management ethic that they just don't care. Fines - even 100% of match fee - don't hurt them. Just penalise them runs, wickets or, more interestingly, ICC World Test Championship points. But even the latter (of which England have just lost five) don't hurt if you're nowhere near the top two.

If I pay £80 to watch a day's Test cricket, I expect to see 90 overs. Me seeing 78 overs is a piss-take. There'd be uproar if a football ref took the players off after 85 minutes of a game because it was already 4:45pm. They're cheating the paying public, it's as simple as that.

Totally agree. How many times have the required 90 overs been bowled in a day over the last 5 years or so of test matches around the world I wonder. A small amount I’d guess.

It’s a stain on the game and no one in authority seems to give a flying fvck. They would if it had an impact on £ though. Wankers

For Burns, who has to go. I think Crawley might be ok on the quicker wickets down under. But I'd fancy my chances batting better than Burns, at least my technique in the living room is relatively sound in comparison :D

Burns will play in Adelaide.

Yep, I think you're right

Certainly wouldn’t be against dropping Burns for anyone to be honest.

And yes, I mean anybody. Literally, anybody.

Believe it or not (and this probably shows how useless the rest of the England batting is) but I read yesterday that Burns is England second highest run scorer in 2021, after Root !

Think he got a big hundred against NZ and a couple of decent knocks against India, in the Summer.

I feel he deserves one more chance. Not convinced Crawley would do any better.

Is the cupboard that bare? Surely with the amount of cricket played in England there should be someone that can play the 5 day game. Is the County cricket turning into more white ball than red ball?

Very much so. Driven by 1) The ECB desire to win the 2019 WC, 2) The ECB feeling that they got usurped by the IPL (after the Stanford debacle) & 3) Money (white ball brings in the crowds)

The ECB-designed calendar for the last few years has prioritised white ball being played in the summer months of July & Aug, with red ball largely being shunted to April, May & September.

Can Malan open?

In theory, Yes. So can/could Compton, Root, Carberry, Robson, Trott, Lyth, Ali, Buttler, Hales, Duckett, Jennings, Stoneman, Denly, Roy, Crawley & Sibley.

The problem with Malan opening is that you lose him as a #3, although I appreciate that if Burns or Hameed again fall early, Malan is almost opening anyway…

They won’t change Burns after just one Test in a 5 Test series. If he fails again in Adelaide, they may well make a change.

One down, one to go….

Hope you cashed out

Ha! No, they were individual bets so I was happy to let the Palace bet lose. Still well up on the cricket/F1/football yesterday :p

:)

Hazelwood out of next test.

Hazelwood is an excellent bowler so will be missed, but the Aussies are still too strong IMO.

Hard to replace such a brilliant line and length bowler that can swing it both ways a bit and seam it like he can. Not the easiest player to replace, will be a reasonable hole to fill.

Maybe we could ask for a loan. Anderson or Broad could fill the hole:D

Or Woakes, he'll be the one most likely to go for Kimmy and Broady.

I've never seen Jye Richardson bowl Bones, what's he like?

Played some T20 and 50 over games for Aus. Plays Shield cricket for WA.
He’s not that big but can send them down at a decent clip. Can swing it both ways as well. Not sure of his ability over a 5 day Test but he’s worth his chance and has been really consistent for the past 2/3 years. I haven’t seen to much of him either tbh. He’s a yard or two quicker than Hazlewood I reckon.

Not much in the above but it’s all I can remember off the top of my head.

We have to stick with Burns as in reality there is no other option unless we shuffle the pack around but that will only mean weakening another position, the alternative if he fails again could maybe we see Bairstow come in? its a sorry state to be in so early on.
Surely the selectors should have realised Burns with his "shuffling across" the crease style was always going to be an issue with the Aussie quickies and so it is turning out to be, and with the still struggling Hameed at the other end we were always going to struggle to build a crucial opening stand.
Going to be a long hard slog ahead for our boys.

Warner in real doubt apparently. Not sure who replaces him as opener, whether we push someone up the order or find another opening bat.

If i was a betting man, I think they'll push someone up the order and bring in a middle order bat.

Khawaja could open, no?

Yeah good call. Got be honest though, he's in real good form but i think he's one of those players to good for domestic cricket but not good enough at test level.
I think you might be on the money though with Khawaja being selected. Not sure if they'll open him though. Hmm, they probably will.