Or 'basically'.

Or "I'm literally..."

Mik59 is shite with maps

Or 'it's so random'. No it isn't it's a COINCIDENCE.

Family wedding announced for Saturday 14th April 2018 :veryangry :wallbash:

Lulu. Seriously, just stop it. For 53 years you've been screaming 'WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL'
at any, and every, opportunity. Knock it on the f**king head will you.

will definitely be moved for tv, you've just got to hope not to early/late Saturday.

Drivers who put their hazards on to go straight across a roundabout....anyone coming from the left thinks they're turning left & anyone coming from the right thinks they're turning right. Don't do it FFS! (calm down - Ed.)

who the **** does that?! that's mental!

You are a bit of a hazard if you drive straight across a roundabout instead of going around it ;) I'm guessing its a Thai thing? Never witnessed such foolery in the UK!

Cyclists do it all the time......:supergrin:

This is how a Thai driving test goes.


1. Drive the car in a circle in the test centre car park and park the car. That's the practical.

2. Colour blindness and reaction test. As 90%+ of Thai males are permently drunk the reaction test is a bit pointless.

That used to be it until about 5 years ago.

Now the have a written multiple choice test that they can just keep going back in and doing until they guess enough right (about 4 times a day).

And recently they introduced a video showing rules of the road etc. I had to watch this in Thai when renewing my Thai licience. In a room of maybe 100 people watching a small TV, 40% were asleep and most of the rest were playing with their phones.

As you may have guessed they never learn how to use roundabouts or anything for that matter and mostly aren't sober.

People who call champagne or prosecco "bubbles".

Anyone who utters the word "drinkies"

So, no bubbles with your post-work drinkies this week?

;)

[hides]

Prosecco....re labeled old bottles of lambrusco and Lambrini

People who tag others on memes that are posted on FB and Instagram.

Ridiculously loud exhausts on cars and bikes and people who do wheelies on their motorbikes down Penge High St.

Probably just heard the news about Dougie...

It's the most excitement Penge sees these days unfortunately.

http://www.cpfc.org/forums/search.php?searchid=2662571

The Great American eclipse. Does it belong to them now?

We had one last year. Wasn't called the Great Indonesian Eclipse.

Sky have sent Kay Burley to report the event. Telling us about people who have been camped out for days waiting for this and then just as it starts she interupts their enjoyment by interviewing them. What an idiot.

reporters on CNN from various locations along the route of totality saying they are "eclipsing" in e.g. Idaho.
You're not eclipsing anything dumb arse. You're viewing the eclipse.

Things that annoy me? The BBS. Actually, it's the Palace. It's like watching your favourite uncle suddenly start using crack only to be told by your slightly thick cousins that it's all perfectly fine because he's managed to keep living in the same house for the last five years.

The amount of global TV coverage and BBC headline of 'the day the USA got dark. All because it got dark in the US today. Big deal, it gets dark here every night! Amateurs.....

It' s a sign from God to get rid if trump

Silly, whinging, noisy bint at the epassport booths in Gatwick yesterday "what a palaver that was, etc...."

I'd not used them before but you snake your way through the barriers, walk up to an empty lane, place your passport on the glass and hold, 10 seconds later all sorted.

The very opposite of 'a palaver'.

Tropical storms.

I have tried to use them everytime I have flown into Gatwick since I got my E Passport....they have never worked. So after trying the same machine twice, then being told to use a different machine...twice.... and then having a member of staff look at my passport, try to put it back in again to no avail....twice... and then being sent to the normal passport control i would say "a palaver" is a ******* understatement.

Same here. They are probably great if you have a lucky passport that the machine recognises.

People who can't wait for 30 seconds to overtake a stopped bus and decide to overtake by driving into the oncoming traffic which has right of way.

Also people who don't know how wide their car actually is and come to a complete stop where the road narrows due to parked cars but in actual fact the gap is still wide enough that two tanks could easily pass each other.

This

I'm with 3 Beers on this one. Never had a problem. Piece of cake! :D

I'm with Maidstoned and our ebay passports. Outside, now ;)

What a div.

Yeah, he is. Imagine thinking it's easier.

It annoys me that I've only just discovered the joy that is Aldi. Came back with all sorts of shit I don't need today.

Same for lidl both gems and it doesn't take you all day to get round them

Guess the wife must shop there then.

Nope. She'll do an online shop occasionally, I do the store shopping.

Don't know about Lidl - our branch in Camden is a bit of a hellhole. Aldi has some decent drinkable plonk at low prices.

Not yours Stella. Mine.:D

He shouldn't need one - as he is the BFG he can look over the rooftops of houses and see where he needs to go.

Early Saturday is fine - don't the blokes at a wedding pop into the bar for 90 minutes pre church anymore.

Ah! :D. That's why I don't take the wife or kids shopping with me. Always adds £'s.

Cyclists!! Especially those plebs with all the gear on the racing bikes, they don't half shift and you can't get passed the buggers. Also the old boys on their way to the factory in the morning weaving all over place,,,,,,and then we get the blame if we knock them off:wallbash:

Messers Wiggins and Froome have a lot to answer for, thanks a bunch:jerkit:

Bianca Westwood on Gillette Soccer Special

Just an appalling commentator / pundit

Appalling

Nice teeth.

Mmm.

Still 'kin rubbish though

She's not as riddled with cockney as the panel though....

Yeah? You should've seen him trying to navigate round Ronda last week. He had the damn thing upside down at one stage.

Walkers crisps.

Their Salt & Vinegar packets are green and their Cheese & Onion packs are blue?????

IT'S THE OTHER FECKIN WAY YOU BUNCH OF CRISP MAKING C**TS! :veryangry

The song ' Is This The Way To Amarillo?'
Celine Dion's complete musical output

Brilliant marketing

I think

Must spread rep etc. etc.

Wardrobe Instructions

1. Open door
2. find all available space has beemn taken by your partner
3. Kick said door.

1. Start to reassemble wardrobe
2. Realise some dowels are missing
3. Go to B and Q
4. Assemble wrongly
5. Take fecker apart
6 Assemble wrongly
7 Try to bodge
8 Argue interminably with usual feckwit on bbs
9 Realise bodge could be dangerous
10 Take fecker apart again.

If at first you don't succeed hide all evidence that you even tried.

1. Replace in box.
2. Return to shop for full refund.
3. Exit shop.
4. Re-enter shop
5. Re-purchase flatpack wardrobe (being careful not to pick up previously returned item).
6. Return home and try again.
7. Repeat 1-6 indefinitely.

I doubt they'll be taking this one back anytime soon.

:D Never use a screw when a nail will do.

I have always hated the phrase

'it is what it is'.

At work it was just trotted out constantly as an excuse not to fix something that everyone knew was broken.

You are Jeremy Clarkson and I claim etc.......

:confused: Tickets. Tickets for almost any event particularly gigs. Tickets go on sale to general public on a certain date, yet before and after supposedly being sold out that date the Internet is awash with them at hugely inflated prices. Something must be done. I know there are far more critical issues to be concerned about . . . But. If everyone were to boycott thee sites (Ticketmaster etc) things may improve. Confused because if I were to stand outside Wembley touting tickets I could be arrested, yet these agencies are doing the same thing. I may be naive but it's just another way we are being shafted.

Getting e-mails from some source that says something along the lines of, "One day offer, your last change to.... etc. etc.".

Only for a week later to get the same e-mail... and the week after that... and the week after that ad infinitum.

Talk about cry wolf!

People that see the bad before the good

EFL draws in Asia. In a nutshell what is wrong with the modern game.

You can add to that 'we are where we are'

I have a real big beef with the prices charges for fuel at motorway service stations compared to urban stations, currently around 20p per litre more expensive. There seems to be no justification for it, other than to rip off the captive audience of motorway travellers finding themselves low on fuel.

Not only petrol too. Everything else inside is at least 25% more expensive as well. It's like Cyprus without the sun in there. I always turn off the motorway and spend an extra fiver in petrol and half an hour looking for the supermarket version.

Mr Jackson the c rapping teacher.

Purple clothes pegs.
I don't know if it's every brand but every one that i got out of a pack from Homebase has snapped.
Not the green or red or yellow just them, why?

Feckin purple bas*ards! Go back to your own washing line!

Eventim charging a £2.50 'delivery fee' for tickets i can print at home

This. So irritating.

As a kid I refused to eat Walkers Crisps for about a year after Leicester beat us in the Play Off final. Still not a big fan of them now.

Yeah, any football fan worth their salt has boycotted many a brand advertised on rival shirts. After endless pastings from Arsenal I wouldn't buy JVC products and don't get me started on Sharp after their association with Man Utd

Kronenburg 1664 used to be palatable until that C-unit became the face of their advertising. I'd rather he was the face on the toe end of my boot. Don't drink the stuff now, never will.

Jacked in my Vodafone contract for the exact same reason

"Cheesy" music (the phrase and the music)

Things that annoy you
 

I'm glad I'm not the only one who does this. Companies who associate themselves with the wrong clubs should not expect intelligent football fans to buy their products.

I never once bought a Nobo white board.

Still always feel pleased if I see a TDK cassette....

Sorry, wrong thread.

Sitting on a plane on a runway going nowhere.

Same. So pleased that Sony never (to my knowledge) sponsored anyone in England.

They did have a Viera TV though, I don't think Roy Keane had one.

Of course I always bought TDK tapes and though I have never flown Virgin I always got my records there:D

Before the Huddersfield game I saw a sign at the bar in the Holmesdale saying they accept all cards except Amex which made me smile. About the only thing that did make me smile that day!

I will throw in a couple having just returned from hols in Cornwall.

The first is the trend for chefs using their own names in the names of their restaurants. For the Gordon Ramsays of this world you can probably understand it seeing as their name is a key component of their overall 'brand'. But when it's some bloke you've never heard of it seems a pretention too far - 'Chris Atkins At Number 6', 'Bill Johnson Riverside' and such like.

The second is the proliferation of wetsuit wearers in the sea these days - when did that become de rigeur? I took the kids into the sea at Polzeath for some body boarding, they had wetsuits on which I suppose is fair enough for kids as it supposedly keeps the cold at bay a bit. As usual I had nothing but trunks on and after the initial acclimatisation I was absolutely fine for the 45 minutes or so we were splashing around in the waves. But I look around me at one point and I am the only **** out of what must have been 300 or so people in there who didn't have a wetsuit on - every man jack of them regardless of age, sex, religious persuasion, whatever had one of the bloody things on. It made me feel like I was the weirdo. I am not some sort of pseudo hard man, far from it, but if you are over the age of 18 then wetsuits for a bit of casual swimming mark you out as a bit of a wimp if you ask me - if you're a serious surfer who's going to be in there all day then fair enough but otherwise, **** off.

As long as you state WHY you are cancelling.

Quick cook pasta, tried some by mistake. Awful beyond belief. It only takes 10 or 11 minutes for the real stuff., why is the fake quick monstrosity even needed.

Celebrity chefs with their "with a twist" nonsense,

When they pull out a roundabout to replace with traffic lights. Why???? Bracknell Coral reef junction. Not been there in ages but worked fine before now just a massive queue.

When you're pissed and hungry and Emek's is shut.

Fresh pasta takes much less than 10 or 11 minutes.

Especially with an 11 hour flight to look forward to, and your butt hurts and can't find a place for your legs before you even take off.

We've got a roundabout up here in Edinburgh called the Sheriffhall' which is in the middle of the bypass (their version of the M25 basically). It's more often than not backed up with traffic. They call it a 'nightmare' but seriously, by London's standards it's a clear road at 3am in the morning. Anyhoo...

On the odd occasion the traffic lights break down at this roundabout, everything works so much more smoothly and no backed up traffic. Who knew? When people are allowed to work things out for themselves - they can and it works a lot better.

I did, as a matter of fact.

Could have stopped after the first two words.

Actually, the first word.

Scooters.

Inexplicably loud for something going so slowly. Almost always being driven like a twat ... by a twat.

:lux: You're not the only one.

People who eat their lunch at their desks and refuse to answer their phone, answer any queries from people in office during this time meaning other people in the team have to wasting several minutes taking a message and relaying it on. Inefficiency cause by selfish imbeciles.

Aren't people allowed to have a break from work, even if they are still sat at their desk ?

They could even have a designated name for it...like lunch break :D