A positive post for the this thread:

For 2 weeks I have become increasingly annoyed as I tracked a parcel getting increasingly lost in Royal Mail's automated system. One phone call with Foz (in the club shop) and, hopefully, all is resolved and my nephew will have a Speroni shirt for his birthday!

Every thread on every subject. Three points . . . three points!

People calling pizza 'pie'

Sky and its lets turn our tv into american rubbish, shit countdown rubbish.

Our injury list

thankfully nobody does that here. It's a pizza, not a ******* pie

Its a Chicago thing

Who the hell does that?

People like this guy

Yanks. Heard it being said on tv a couple of years ago for the first time and wanted to kick the thing in

People from Chicago

I blame Dean Martin

Not a big Dean Martin fan then?

Phew, won by a short head

I was distracted.....:D

My next door neighbour - comes to tell me he has bought a caravan and does he mind parking outside our back garden by our garage - no problem with that I said.

Then he tells me he’s taking the family to Cornwall in the summer as it’s old England and he only saw 2 black faces there whilst in summer holidays last year.

I just had to work in but I think my face said it all- shame he has 2 kids but he is a millwall fan. Tosser

Hope it rains

It’s Cornwall, of course it will.

Chemmy Alcott - she's a bit hyper- although she could be a guilty or unguilty fancy !

Rugby rules.

Dumbstruck. Eddie Booth is alive and well in 2018.

Remove the tyres.












Replace the tyres underneath the caravan.

Set light to the ****ers.

People "supporting" a country they have no links to, today mostly pretend Scottish wankers.

Those plastic notes that ping out of your pockets, lost £30 yesterday from the 30 second walk from the cash machine to the pub, it must have popped out of my pocket when I answered my phone.

It's a lower class quiche....

People who stare at and listen to everyone at hotel breakfasts. Fvck off and mind your own businesses

I feel you on this one. Someone would have recycled them for you though I'm sure. :D

they are bastards aren't they. I never carry a conventional wallet but have a little leather pass holder and keep them in there these days. But after decades of keeping notes in my pocket I keep forgetting what I have done with them

His wife is Turkish Cypriot- you just can’t make this stuff up

:jerkit: Fatty :love::supergrin:

Spurs fans didn't hear a peep for 88 mins....

Spurs

Plastic paddy's are by far the worst.St Patrick's day tends to bring em out:jerkit::jerkit:

Fat bastards on horses.Out on the bike today and came across a superfat bint trotting around the lanes of Essex,the poor horse would know she was on it.2 Shires strapped together would have struggled carrying her:moo2::moo2:

Completely unnecessary positivity on every thing.

Sounds like my next door neighbours daughter from many moons back. She was a large girl on an even larger horse. They were hit side on by a vehicle one day and the vet came out and shot the car.

Out on your bike !! Lost me as soon as I saw that.

Today. Paying for the Palace v Spuds match and first 20 mins being dedicated to Chelsea manure match and childish millionaires being children. Then Spuds once again mugging us by a goal in last couple of mins AGAIN

The lack of WiFi in Costa Coffee, South Norwood

People that call a hamburger a sandwich.
'Mmm that Big Mac sure is a mighty fine sandwich'

Get ****ed.

That pathetic Billy Ray Cyrus song away fans sing... "I just don't think you understand". They're correct, I don't, it's ******* abysmal.

VFR120,hope it helps in your search.

Bang on the money for Basildon :p

Watching League Cup (Carabao) Final with strange-sounding commentators (Scottish?) constantly squabbling & talking a foreign language. While the brain was trying frantically to translate this garbage they topped it off by so many mentions of the start of the MLS season & "free-to-watch for a limited period" offer that the game got consigned to a sideshow. Which it was for Arsenal anyway...oh, what joy to see that poor Arse kid crying his eyes out! His Dad shd be locked up for making him a plastic in the family tradition.

People complaining that it’s too cold for me to sit in the pub garden and read the paper tonight. What’s it to them?

If it was too cold I wouldn’t sit out there, would I.

:supergrin:

Crazy fecker

Don't feel sorry for him, he has a home made gazebo and a nice log fire to keep him warm.

Children.

Specifically, mine.

Specifically, my wife for wanting to have one and then her (the child, that is) keeping me awake all night.

:D

Been mentioned before but TV weather forecasters. Last night on BBC London News at 6:30pm the bloke said that it might be worth getting up a bit earlier in the morning to check how the conditions might affect public transport and your journey to work. **** off you patronising twat. Maybe you might want to get the weather forecast correct instead.

Weather forecasters in general irritate me. Why do they always have to be so bloody cheery?

Cheap zips on non-cheap coats. Wankers

Tis true al, although some bugger nicked the logs the other day so no fires at all this week. :hmph:

People who say 'how are you?' as a form of greeting when, in reality, they couldn't give a sh1t. There's the genuine and friendly and attentive 'how ARE you?' which is fine but the monotone version is so fake and superficial it just gets on my tits and will never use it ever.

Fat people in coats too small for them.

"love you to the moon and back"

Not just the expression but also the people who use it.

Guilty m'lud. But in mitigation only to my young daughter when we are having a competition which always ends with 'universe+plus infinity+plus one on top of whatever you say next'

It's like The Waltons here sometimes.

Spot on. And when people describe somebody as their rock.

I'll let my ten year old daughter know. She says that to me a lot.

In my defence, I always used 'Love you to the chip shop and back' with my kids when the were youngerer.

'You're a star'

Said by some office numpty when all you have done is complete a piece of work that is part of your job on time!

You are forgiven as you have gone beyond the moon and in the process taking the piss out of the whole gooey mush of expressing love. " I love you" works perfectly well, and if you need to make such a grand expression of " I love you to the moon and back" I would guess it is a feeble attempt to cover up that your actions dont endorse the 'I love you' .

10 year olds are forgiven.. it is adults using it to express love for another adult that is just so vomit inducing.

De-icer spray. Nozzle clogs after first use and you spend the rest of winter trying to unblock it.

Should be hit over the head with it :)

What about "sole mate" or "I love X to the moon and back" - pass the sick bucket!

I meant soul!

Yeah, fish mate might not go down as well (npi) :)

The coffee shop at Redhill station trying to be all cool and funky with its sign at that counter "this is your Britain's got talent moment", the stupid font on everything and the cup trickery server. Just shut the **** up and give me my coffee you ****

I blame Jamie Oliver and his "oo aren't I retro and cool driving round in a Ford Capri" tv program, the fat tongued bellend

When you're on your lunch break in the office and having lunch at your desk or in the kitchen and someone comes up to you to talk about work.

https://preview.ibb.co/hA5TOH/03_D78...5_E6_FCA23.jpg

If it carries on snowing like this tonight, chances are I’m going to be snowed in at the local beer garden.

Nightmare.

Then they ask if you are at lunch. I normally deal with this by saying...No, I've been eating sandwiches and reading the paper since I arrived this morning.

People who lean on the doors on tubes despite numerous warnings telling them not to.

Should have cut you losses with 'Redhill' in that post.
We would have all understood.

Peers moaning about the standard of food in their tax payer subsidised restaurant.
Pay full price, or f*ck off somewhere else you ungrateful c*nts.
£2.50 a pint in the bars as well.

That makes it an overpriced coat.

Andrew Marr. Self-important fecker.

False news

https://preview.ibb.co/g8nQLx/82_E46...A574419_A8.jpg

About the same as my local working men’s club.

Thanks Lord Nigel.

Crap choice of bees anyway.

Or even beers.

That’s the HOC’s tarrif you utter halfwit.

Again, just like my local working men’s club.

No ales.

Wankers.

And they say "are you on your lunchbreak?"
"Well I've got my sandwiches on my desk, I've got the paper out and I've got the BBS on my laptop. Of course I'm ******* having my ******* lunch you ******* ****. Now **** off."

Don’t ‘Guest Ales’ count?

Depends what they are.

Worthington Creamflow. What more does ‘tha want ?

Sounds like a bad northern porn star.

:supergrin:

Well there’s Cellarman’s Reserve for one. ;)

Sorry m'lud.....won't happen again m' lud. But the poster was complaining about peers complaining m'lud, so not sure why HOC was mentioned......m'lud........is this your wallet mlud, found it in the bushes mlud?

Australian TV it is absolute shite. My Kitchen Rules. God ******* spare me.

God can't, it doesn't. Exist mate.

Snow :grrr:

He does, and for some reason he hates Palace this season :(

That’s annoying. Why can’t he pile the injuries on clubs who are run on dirty money. That would make sense if I was God. Got a bit of a suspicion God’s a capitalist wan**er.

All right Steven Hawking ******* spare us. It's still shite.

This extreme weather at the end of Feb is Madness :( (one for BUBBS to understand )

There's only so much you can do with stripes.

Wallet?

Not guilty. :)

Manbag?