The BBC website Football homepage turning into an Arsenal news site for the day

I've been told I'm a misanthrope.

No idea what that means. I do know I hate everyone though.

Motorists who don't stop at zebra crossings, then wave their hand acknowledging you, as if that makes it alright

f(x+dx) - f(x)

y=ax^n

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8

On the BBS - the occasional homophobia and the digs at the BBC

Agreed.
Especially those Strictly Come Dancing poofs.

But the bbc is certainly dumbing down. Just look at all the emojis they plaster over all the sports clips now. They deserve it.

The new fa full time website. What a load of style over substance. At least they still have the old one running on a link.

Arsene Wenger ******* tributes

Lunch time strangers getting the best bench in the pub garden for late evening sunshine and not even appreciating it.

All they did was moan about the heat, moan about being feeling ‘threatened’ when a couple of locals kindly offered to swap their bench in the shade to help them and moan that the pub doesn’t serve food*.

They eventually left to a collective sigh of relief from a packed pub garden, followed by a mad scramble for the vacated table. Lots of laughter was interrupted by the side gate opening and the same couple reappeared, moaning they’d missed their train.(the pub is called the Railway Hotel and it’s a 5 minute drunken stagger max to the station.)

The spontaneous round of applause wasn’t well received.

*Nuts, crisps and potato based snacks were obviously freely available at the bar for the discerning imbiber.

People who go to the pub for a meal.

Ffs. Pubs are for drinking, restaurants are for eating.

Pub food is invariably Brake bros. frozen shite served with chunky chips (what’s the ******* point?) anyway.

Pork scratching, (not the puffed nonsense), the stuff where all the salty goodness coagulates in the corner of the polythene bag is the only non potato or nut based food acceptable.

Have a few pints, then go somewhere better for a meal. It’s basic common sense.

Agree with you on the Pork Scratching front but hey,

Welcome to the 21st Century!

Chubby lasses wearing their lycra running gear to and from work, but not actually running. No one is buying it ladies and we all know that rather than running to work off the train, you are heading to the nearest pret for a latte and cinnamon swirl

Nancy D'Allo
Matt Barbet - so smug

Political canvassers knocking on my door.

It's like flying ant day out there atm.

You mean Black Cab drivers then?

Spoons food is aces!

Having worked for Spoons as an area manager I can tell you that 90% of it is either deep fried or microwaved.

It’s good value and tasty but I wouldn’t describe it as aces.:):p

It really isn't. Spoons pubs are generally crap. I avoid.

Yeah most of them are pretty grim, I just love the food!

Kirsty Gallacher and all her sultry model-type publicity photos.

**Edited after being correctly called out by Oddjob.

That’s a touch unpleasant ?

Agree totally the sort of people who would never sit on a bar stool or mix with fellow locals
Another annoyance every show have to prostitute itself to a celebrity version based on the assumption that dumbed down viewers will moe likely watch it if these so called celebs are on it - duh

Wash your mouth out, they always stop. If they've got a fare in the cab.

.

https://i2-prod.mirror.co.uk/incomin...AL_BABY_02.jpg

:jerkit:

idiots like this...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england...yside-43867132

Agreed. It's very sad, but there are other paitents in there that do not deserve the hastle.

Being kept waiting

Yep, how many millions was taken away out of grassroots football to design that shite?

Parents at junior football matches who stand on the side lines watching whilst coaches and managers set up the goals, put out barriers etc, then just **** off straight after the game without taking them down, or even saying a word of thanks.

Parents at junior football matches who think that the game is being played for their benefit and entertainment, and get upset if the team lose or don't win convincingly enough.

Parents at junior football matches.

Totally agree on that one!!! Still link to the old one.

You just know there is nothing inside those metal panniers as well... Unless its official BMW survival kit garb in case they get marooned in the far flung reaches of Surrey.

Send feedback and moan about it if no one does nothing happens. The new one is really really shocking cant even display the league you want to see on a single screen let alone all the other info :jerkit:

Oh yes, I help manage a junior team and this pisses me off. Can’t believe some parents don’t help or even don’t watch their kids play football. They treat it as free childcare.

I think the not staying to watch when they’re young is worst, partly because it means that the coach and other parents have to deal with stuff such as their son’s injuries or tantrums.

But it can be tricky if the kid only has one parent, and that parent might have younger siblings to look after too.

If parent help is essential, then I think it’s best to make it clear right from the start what is expected when they sign the club forms. You can then debate any special circumstances with a parent from the get go.

Resentment tends to build up when new parents aren’t told from the start, because then you’re backpedaling and trying to change a pattern of behaviour they’ve got used to.

The Royal Baby thread on the BBS, although only glanced at it very briefly I wonder if its ironic

It has everything to make it a BBS classic in the making, arguments, conspiracy theories (the best bit as it was my creation), humour (A particular gem from Bert's head) financial facts and figures, sensible mod interventions, I think even Brexit gets a mention. Whats not to like (Apart from Royal babies obviously)?

championing this thread as any royal thread is useless in the knowledge that PK is missing.
Sorry Exiled, but you're beating a dead horse there.

I cannot argue against that, but at least I tried.

tbf it is a shit thread

Bit of a hijack about kids football

2 dads watching junior football.
“Which one is your lad?"
‘Why?"
“Wanted to tell him how rubbish he is"
“You can't say that he's only a kid, how would you like it if I said that to your lad?”
“You have done all game"
“Why who's your lad?
“The referee"
Think before you speak...

Back to the being annoyed

Amen to all you say brother.

I get these emails from parents...'why don't you pick our strongest possible team for every match', 'why do you use substitutes so regularly', 'why can't we train midweek rather than on a Saturday morning'. My default reply is becoming 'set up your own team and then you can run it exactly how you like, and enjoy all the admin that comes with it'

The odd thing is none of them have the balls to have sensible discussions with me face to face, as soon as the final whistle goes or training comes to an end they scuttle off to their cars.

People caught cheating in online games then complaining about how unfair it is that theyre threatened with a ban

Ordering online, then being sent goods where the boxes have obviously been opened before. And guess what! There are parts missing!This has happened twice in the last two weeks, the first time I rang the company to more or less force them to post the misssing bits. The second time I’ve had to haul the bulky item round to Sainsbury’s to send back via DPD service. (Purchaces have nothing to do with Sainsbury’s).

Hermes. Hapless parcel losers. Having suffered three 'lost in transit' or perhaps what normal people call theft situations I am mulling over just checking future parcels in the nearest bottomless pits of fire to save time.

The expression "you can't polish a turd" and any **** who follows it up with the obvious.

We all thought it, but only you said it. And now you're smirking looking side to side for the approval of your peers.

**** 2 (Giggling whilst he speaks):

"But you can roll it in glitter! Bwhahaha! Am i right...? Guys, Am i right...?"

Awkward silence.

****. Right. Off.

Never heard that response.

That doesn't annoy me, I can't wait to use it.

I need to engineer a conversation to the first part though, and that won't be easy in Chile. Unless I get a sleepy CT on his second pint of pale ale.

Me neither. Quite good, I feel inspired to use it.

Thanks OPer :)

Oddly it is far more accurate and reflective of 'delivery phase', in my experience.
I do agree with the general sentiment from the OP, that nothing is more gear-grinding than watching your buffoon colleague recognise then execute some hackneyed pyrrhic phrase seeking to get the last word so as to be lauded as the office's acerbic python.

Fanny deodorant ads.

Is the wrong response

The correct one being ‘well you can actually, but it will still be a turd. You idiot’

You buy a smart new dishwasher in gleaming white. You install it, remember to phone the number prominently displayed on a sticker on the front of the appliance to register for a guarantee. You ignore their advice to upgrade the warranty. You peel the sticker off. It leaves behind not only loads of cruddy glue but also the print from said sticker which seems to be completely indelible. Your lovely new appliance is no longer gleaming white. Grrr..

Use WD-40 to remove the glue.

Yeah or lighter fluid.

....because they’re keyboard warriors, especially after wine o’clock.

Imagine what it’s like for teachers. I can email my son’s teachers direct, but I understand that some schools now have a system that means you have to email via the office. This was to monitor and discourage the number of moaning, entitled emails sent to their teachers.

I think my parents spoke to my school less than once a term. Pretty much just Parents evenings. They’d never consider it even a possibility to have rung up and moaned about team selection, for example.

I do recommend you make your team selection policy clear when new parents join. My son was at a team for which the coach would pick anyone who turned up. Sounds nice and friendly doesn’t it, but it did *ee us off when boys would turn up for matches but not training. And we had younger siblings turn up and get some game time, because he wanted to encourage them.

As a result, we might have multiple players being rotated on and off, including great ones taking a turn as subs whilst weaker players let in goals.

In the end I did ask whether he could name just 13/14 per match, as our son would rather play most of each game. We were happy to rotate this so that occasionally he’d take a turn of not being selected. I knew other parents felt the same, but no one wanted to say it.

Use WD-40 for everything, except things that need gaffer taping.

Or paint.

How do either of those things help with masturbation?

The last time I expect any useful advice from the BBS.

Need to get some more ice now.

Will try thanks, although probably won't remove the back to front text engrained in the door. Also I seem to remember trying to remove the greasy patches left on the floor from overspraying WD-40 is tricky unless that's where gaffer tape comes in?

WD40 to lube your hands and gaffer tape to stick your balls to your arse to stop them jiggling about.

And then when you’re left with gaffer tape glue marks on your floor, you can use the WD40 again to remove those marks.

You might be there all day in a neverending cycle of WD40 and tape.

:)

Wow, this site is just a god given oracle.

Dont forget the wd40 before you rip it off after.

That's why I need the ice.

It was really bad advice.

Even worse than using Pledge furniture polish and Sellotape.

My father, who died back in 1983, used to swear by WD40. It was a standing joke. Bloody good stuff, though, even way back then.

Johnny Vegas. Still a fat, irritating, talentless, unfunny twat.

Maybe WD40 would work on him?

Which is why lighter fuel or petrol are better solvents because both evaporate. A cloth with a bit of washing up liquid will remove any residue solvent.

Yewtree suspects #1 and #2

People who leave things unattended in laundrette tumble dryers - there are currently 5 out of 6 machines unavailable due to this with the other one due to run out in 4 minutes.

Shared living is a dying art it would seem.

Bingo.

Are you agreeing with yourself, or does bingo annoy you as well? :hi:

Full house of unusable dryers.

Anne Widdicombe - hideous woman

Hard to believe but she actually made me laugh out loud on some chat show thing the other day. She can take the p1ss out of herself.

Not 100% certain but I think the clown on the right used to live across the road from me in Waltham Abbey about 20 years ago......on the day Diana was buried, me and my partners son-in-law were cutting down two leylaandii trees in the front garden and he came storming across the road, ranting and raving about how disrespectful we were being to Diana, how 'thugs like us' should be executed for not showing due respect to the Royal family by watching the tv coverage blah blah blah......after using one expletive too many infront of my baby grandson, the silly sod turned and ran after he was threatened with a saw and nearly ran straight into the path of an oncoming lorry. My partner and I used to see him going out in his numerous Union flag suits and top hats regularly, and he'd often pop up on tv later that day waving his flag as the Queen or one of the others attended the latest Garden or Community Center openings - an absolute bell end.:D

Sounds like my worst nightmare. What a massive ****.

You did well not to beat him to death with one of his flags. Perennial arse licking twat.

Bloody Jehovah's Witnesses (again) knocking on my door on a Saturday afternoon.

What's the point?

And say what you like about The Jewish faith/religion... knocking on peoples doors drumming up support is something they would never do, nor are "expected" to do.

To be fair, I don't believe Catholics do this either.

She's a sexy bitch

I sincerely hope you’d been heavy on the Pacharan when you posted that

Doris Karloff? :vader:

Best blow job ever.

Alyson Rudd on this mornings Sunday Supplement on Sky Sports.

So hard to listen to. !

The tossers Weltklasse (weltarse) and CT Palace.

Negging wankers.

If you disagree with a post then argue the point but negging is so girly that you have to wonder about your mentality.

This is only slightly more subtle than writing a post that says "Please neg me".

Do they still do that over here? Over here their main tactic seems to be standing in pairs by railway stations, smiling but not actually accosting people. I assumed from this change of tack that they'd decided to wind their necks in and also assumed that this would extend to door-stepping too.

Diane Abbott :veryangry

I live in an area where we have to get deliveries to a post box in the town, we can-t get a hard line telephone cable brought in, only recently got mains water (we have our own well) etc...but at least once a month the bloody Jehovahs come calling.

I just set the dogs on em

Damn utilities. Should set your boy on 'em, wax on wax off.

Just tell them, "Sorry, I can't stop. I'm off to give blood"

I'm not sure if you mean his son or that his dog is Hong Kong Phooey.

This goes for any randoms, regardless of what theyre offering.. dishcloths, driveways or Salvation.. all doorstepping should be made illegal

I believe is known as a Diana superfan and hangs around outside Kensington Palace every birthday and death anniversary of Diana. Him and his gang get moody if Diana isn't given enough respect on those days!!!

Any Youtube video with the words Epic, Must See, Insane, Most, Craziest, Scary, Weird, Amazing etc in the title.

They still knock at the door (in pairs), but have seemed to have changed tactics.

They say something like, 'I know you're busy, so I just want to leave you this to read and we can come back to discuss it at a time convenient for you." Then proceed to give you a copy of "Watchtower" (or whatever their magazine is called).

Oh, and I agree with Simplex... all walk up "soliciting" should be banned.

His dog? His son is Karate Kid 3. He is Mr Miyagi, only with less hair and more gripes about life.

Still not resolved the last of three 'lost in transits' in one week. Last night's exchange with the Live Chat. Essentially they have sent me a link to make a claim that does not open..

08:34:29 PM]Karanraj Jedhe: I am sorry but I do not have the facility to do so while on chat
[08:37:05 PM]xxxxx: Ok, send it. I really just want this whole sorry episode to end. It is astonishing that; the delivery never made it, I can't talk to anyone for help, the parcel still shows as 'in transit', the tracking system does not work and the link I was sent to get my cash back does not work. What's the point? I will never ever being using this appalling service again. I could have hidden the clothes for two weeks myself, then dumped them in a puddle and saved myself the cash. Shambles.
[08:38:23 PM]Karanraj Jedhe: We are sorry for the poor service you have received.
[08:38:33 PM]Karanraj Jedhe: Is there anything else I can assist you with?
[08:39:51 PM]xxxx I don't doubt you are. You don't need to spend your days fielding this nonsense because your 'colleagues' are hopeless. You're sorry, I'm sorry - it's a sorry mess. Thank you and good-night.
[08:40:21 PM]Karanraj Jedhe: Thank you for contacting myHermes, have a good day.