Traffic. Got home from Selhurst to Beckenham, admittedly via Forest Hill, just after 6.30 today.

Seeing as most of our recent ex-players were released to sympathetic retirement homes, I’m not exactly surprised to read that.

Because we had so many old players under the last couple of managers.

Hennessey, Kouyate, Gallagher, Loftus-Cheek, Bumfluff, Townsend, Alex McCarthy, AWB.

Non stop posts on social media with UNBELIEVABLE Haaland-related stats. ‘haaland has scored more goals in 6 minutes this season than van persie and Suarez combined managed in their professional careers’ kind of stuff.

Yes yes he’s an amazing player but please cut out the wanking

Use your indicators, you twat.

"Today" as in "Do you want a receipt today" or "is that all today" or "do you have a Nectar card today".

They all seem to do it. At every supermarket. Why the 'today' bit? Its superfluous.

No, I'd like to buy this now but get my receipt tomorrow....

People (let's be honest women) that get to the top or bottom of an escalator or wherever and just stop. Get out the way for f**k sake!!

and another ... this sort of shite that constantly pops up on my facebook feed

There were times I’ve had £5 to just feed myself and I’ve also had £200 to go out to eat. I’ve had a house full of food and I didn’t have any. I’ve been in stores cashing out with no worries and I’ve also had to add it up and put things back on the shelf. I’ve paid my bills in full and I’ve had to pay them late too. I’ve given money and I too have had to ask for it.
We all have highs and lows in life. Some certainly more than others, but we are all just trying to make it.
No one is better than anyone else and my heart is sad for those people who think that they are. No matter how big your house is, how new your car is, or how much money sits in your bank account - we all bleed red and will eventually fade from this earth. Death has no discrimination and neither should your life.
Be kind to others. We are all here to serve. Stop the power tripping. Your oversized ego won’t get you anywhere.
Be humble. And keep faith going.
Very few will actually read this far but if you’re genuine I challenge you to copy. Most won’t, because they’re the type of people I’m talking about. Copied from a friend x

Did the situation escalate further?

That was bad - on so many levels.

I thought that was slapstick clever

no, I just gave her a long stair.

I giggled.

Bizarrely, you must give etc. to Jimmy.

Probably just gave her a lift.

You need to to rise above it, next time take steps to avoid the situation.

I hate those. Good thing is though, if it’s a colleague or a neighbour, is that you instantly know what that person is all about so make a mental note to avoid in future.

De-escalation is usually the safest bet, but this lady had already gone a step too far.

Momentum took her up there can’t really blame her for that

Said this to someone recently, meet someone new, befriend them on Facebook before you get to know them, you can tell if they:re a complete twat so don't have to bother and know to avoid them

And did you hear from them since?

We recently got a new washer and dryer. I had a question so went on line to their chat link. After a while it became obvious I was talking to a bot. It was actually very convincing at first and had me fooled for a while. Anyway "it" finally said it would connect me to a technician, but first wanted me to sign-up to be charged $5 for them to talk to me...

Am I missing something here? Why should I pay to talk to their customer service?

Wankers...

That is a good way to employ technicians, where you pay the wages.

I have not come across this in UK, I am sure some bright spark will think of this

It's rare here, but I have encountered it before.

Surprised you have not heard of such a scheme in the UK... a country where they charge you to go to the toilet!

No, never heard of that. I am sure I will come across it.

Public Toilets are free, never clean dare I say

I'm being a bit disingenuous there. I'm probably harping back to the old days of having "to spend a penny".

Re my current Chat Line help bitch... I wouldn't mind, but it is basically a "Yes - No" answer I'm looking for, and any customer service technician could deal with the question in under 30 seconds including pleasantries I'm sure.

I've been trying to unlock the keypad of an old Motorola 'brick' mobile phone and tried Motorola's online chat facility. Got through to a real person, but she told me that unless I gave her my name, full address, phone number and email address she would only answer generic phone questions. Is this where we're at these days?

:) chat line bitch made me laugh

Is it a question that you could look up on the internet search engine of your choice?

Possibly… and what I found led me to needing to talk to the manufacturer direct.

Come to Oslo mate, costs 50p but you get sung to in French and they're whistle clean, genuinely enjoyable.

De franske toalettene i Spikersuppa
https://maps.app.goo.gl/DXQWbej7n3W6rQjf8

Ask Jeeves?

Or Maz

He's more hair dryer than tumble.

Boy, is that still around?

Used to use that 20 years ago...

He got sacked along with all the other's when Charlie moved house.

I have been and must say haven’t experienced the French singing. I have noticed in the continent, you need to pay to use the toilets and they are well maintained. It is a price well worth paying.

Reviews for the toilet you posted are good

Don't know if this is an annoyance, or just baffling. I have 4 reasonably sized (4 to 5 inches) goldfish in a large tank. Yesterday evening as I was feeding them, I noticed that one was missing. Gone. Vanished. Checked everywhere - he's just gone. So now I have 3. RIP Clarence. They've lived together happily for 4 years - now this. And it was my birthday yesterday.

Did your wife at least make you a wonderful F&C supper for your birthday?

Point of order, Jimmy. Wouldn't it just be 'F supper'? Doesn't 'Fish supper' mean 'Fish and chips'?

Dunno, all I get are fish finger sarnies, with a few chips in, if I'm lucky.

Hotbot was the one to use...

French motorway picnic area loos usually a hole in the ground job.

Had a curry! Chicken (as least i "think" it was chicken!)

Silly question, but do you have a lid on the aquarium? Fish often jump out if not.

If it died in the tank it would likely cause enough ammonia to kill the other fish.

Yep, proper lid. I've checked all the fixtures around the lid too as I was concerned it had got caught around the light.

I'm going to empty the tank tonight so continue the investigation!!

Years ago I had a fish tank in my bedroom without a lid. Had a minnow it in, walked into my room one evening, fish had gone, found it squashed on the floor. What must have happened was that turning on the light (in the room) made it jump, literally, out of the tank and I trod on it!

I only commented as I didn't think goldfish are cannabalistic. It's a bit of a mystery.

TV personalities and tv people with no personality who still manage to appear on tv and as they dont have anything about them bring along another member of their family who seems just as uninteresting.
e.g Jon Richardson and hie mother in law.

Add to that tv personalities who will just whore themselves for any job or advert. i.e Davina McCall and Mylene Klass.

A wild card I know, but did you notice a minature wooden horse at the bottom of the tank that you can't remember putting there?

Just read that whilst in an on line meeting and not on mute. Just had to explain away my laugh as a cough. :D

Colin Farrell’s eyebrows

Colin Farrell

He has been found. Not sure how he did this, but, we have an ornament in the tank, an Moai. Somehow, he must have knocked it askew, got into it (it's hollow) and then it has righted itself so it looks completely normal. He is alive, but he was stuck in there. I had to pull the idiot out.

Clarence Lives!!

:lux:

He should be buoyed by his near-death experience, but has probably forgotten all about it.

It all sounds a bit fishy, tbh

Needs to be renamed to Houdini

I was thinking Jacques Cousteau for want of not knowing any famous cave divers!

Goldfish will happily eat their dead buddies. :)

My mates got a place outside of Euroa here in Victoria, his dam is full of unwanted giant Goldfish, they must have got there in a flood.

He is a wild outback West Australian boy, who is considering putting explosives in his dam. He ain't happy at all.

I'll get a video if he does... LOL.

Actually BE, can you think of another solution for getting rid of them?

I keep cichlides . If one karks it you got to get it quick or the others will eat it in less than a day. Course I don't feed them for a few days after that so save on fish food :D I see Blind things that goldfish will eat their own, thought most fish were like this.

Going to the station on a day when they're not supposed to be on strike to find that there are no trains.

Piranha?

Daughters conman partner, who's actions have caused her to split from him, thus her needing our support. Which ended our round Australia trip.

When I say conman this is one right out of the box. A gaslighting kuunntt I'm working out how to react at an extreme level. A proper full blown double life mental cruelty conman....black is white, white is black prickk.

Sorry to hear this, man.

Make sure you are patient and think rationally about any moves, in order to ensure you achieve the best mid to long term outcome for your family

And then kill him.

Long term, this is the most important bit, Ozzie.

Don't expect me to be a character witness at the Melbourne crown court :angel:

Clarence is still alive this morning, which is good. Interestingly (well, you'll be the judge of that) I had a fish that i named Houdini and a another called Houdini Junior.

Long story short, when I moved into a flat in Horley, there was a mouldy old fish tank in the lounge, it was full of green, unfiltered, unheated, unaerated, unlit mank. I said I keep it, not expecting anything to be in there. When I emptied it out there were two Glowlight Tetra in there. One big (Houdini), one small (HJ), I sorted the tank (didn't heat it) and lived for quite a while alongside small goldfish.

With the price of fish fingers going up so much, it may pay to keep Clarence for a bit longer...

Yesterday it was a single bolt to attach a new front seat into my car - felt like 2 hours to get the bugger to catch.
(the 3 others went in easy)

So far today, nothing yet.

[emoji3] That's what his tank mates would have you believe!

Latest e-mail from HR.
Now instructing us to refer to someones partner/husband/wife/sigfnicant other as their 'person'.
Why?
Because XXXXX thought it would be a more inclusive thing to do and wouldn't place a strain on people to determine the status of their relationship.
Of course XXXXX did. Because XXXXX is also the same c**t that insisted upon people putting their prefered pronouns in their e-mail signatures, and then reported me to HR for not playing along with their game. XXXXX also then suggested I was making a mockery of the whole exercise by my insistance that everyone refer to me as xim/xam.
Ok. But can't we just do this to appease people?
Appease people? You mean one person. The same person who, coincidentally, hasn't actually had a 'person' for 10 years because she manages to stink of cat piss without actually owning a cat.

Sounds like you got a job in a Kafka novel.

Shit, I was vicariously enjoying your trip. Hope this gets sorted effectively.

Absolute nonsense. You've been referring to your wife as 'my wife' for the last 10 years. You refer to your wife as 'my wife' in every single other interaction. But if you refer to your wife as 'my wife' in the working environment, you'll face disciplinary action? ******* hell, world's gone mad, mate.

This is fantastic news and cheered me right up :)

Extending that, doesn't referring to someone as 'my anything' (my person) suggest ownership rights. Surely that can't be acceptable language in 2022.

Leopold could go back with that argument, but will be ironically accused of being difficult/obstructive/silly not taking the exercise seriously.

https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article...-misunderstood

All very well - but I found it quite hard to read with the they/them/their pronouns etc. In my mind I got confused with the reference to one person and the main picture of a couple.

Yeeah

Oh dear. I have a similar tale with a not-so-happy ending.

I had a tropical fish tank & the catfish (called 'Old Man') disappeared. Couldn't see him for days.

I took all the plants out (making sure he wasn't still in there when I removed them) - nothing.

I took all the wooden log feature out (making sure he wasn't still in there when I removed it) - nothing.

I checked the filters - nothing.

I checked everything - nothing.

Left the tank as it was so it would be easy to see him when he reappeared. Nothing for about two weeks so I put in some new plants & went to put the log back in. This is when I noticed the remains of Old Man in the log. I'd basically removed him & left him to die when I removed the log. God knows how I didn't see him.

Couldn't bring myself to tell the wife as he was her favourite. Every time she tells friends The Story Of The Disappearing Catfish, I squirm & a little part of me dies in shame.

I'm glad I don't work in an office. I don't think "my old lady," would go down too well in the 2022 office environment, where a simple slip of tongue can cause, shock, contempt and in some cases, especially with the more fragile and sensitive employees, an embarrassing accident to occur.

I suspect it all depends who has the 'slip of the tongue'. Someone junior or on the same level as the stickly HR person, or someone senior to IT.

I doubt they will sending the same tone of emails to the General Manager or CEO somehow. Which makes them HR bullies.

OMG! That's pretty tragic!! I had a Clown Loach once who was clearly just fed up of being a fish. We used to have an under gravel filter in our tropical tank and he had a habit of swimming down the up tune to mooch around under the gravel, eating all the crap, we could see him when we looked up through the glass bottom. Of course, he got stuck. and died. Had to completely empty the tank of everything to sort that out. I don't have under gravel filters now!

There’s a new show on channel 4 called “make me prime minister.” For Christ’s sake, I thought the apprentice was insufferable.

Alistair Campbell is one of the judges too. Nice bit of reputation washing for that ****.

I assume they have an episode about cheese?

Why don’t you invite him on a fishing up on the tidal Daintree, let the salties deal with him and, having given a tear laden statement to the police, you can continue your round Australia trip not far from where you left off. :)

Exactly my thought - it’s ironically impersonal and thus potentially offensive. It could get confusing if you are a police officer and trying to explain that the drugs were concealed about someone’s person with everybody shouting that their wife did nothing.

And opening up pork markets and one about growing pies.

Brompton bikes

Especially when they're taking up a perfectly good standing spot in the train carriage vestibule.

Just so I understand you cant now call your wife your wife when your at work???

Brompton newbie here :hi:

Bought it this summer to help me get fitter, had probably ridden a bike three times in the previous forty years and I love using it.

After clarifying, it is being suggested that we use the term 'person' whenever possible. There is no demand, however they would prefer it is used.

With the greatest of respect, if “Of course, he got stuck. and died.”, why didn’t you just sort out your tank before the inevitable happened?

People don’t really give a crap about fish, beyond their financial value. If someone who had a puppy that kept squeezing into a tight space until it of course, got stuck and died, there would be utter outrage.

Again, this is not aimed at you, It’s just given me an opportunity to vent on the subject.

I’ve just watched yet another exposure on the abhorrent Scottish salmon farming. Just think of what you’re actually eating when you next shove farmed salmon down your throat.

Christmas ads already

They've been showing Christmas movies since early September!

There's no need to be afraid.

Riding my bike on a bike 2-way bike trail the other day, there is a woman coming towards me and is talking, but I completely ignored her as I assumed she was talking on her AirPods phone, which is the norm for people talking to themselves these days.

Anyway just as we past each other I caught the end of what she was saying... she was actually asking me if, "That was a fire she could see up ahead of her". (It was BTW).

Cue me quickly trying to save face and yell out after her, that yes it was. But I don't think she heard me, or just ignored me in retaliation.

So thanks to idiots talking on AirPods being the norm (or are they actually talking to themselves - who knows), I look like a stuck up tit who ignores my fellow bike riders.

Such is life in 2022.

People who deck their gardens out for Hallowen, seen three really elaborate ones this morning. 1 more bloody Americanisation coming un 2 it aint for another 3 weeks.

Nice solution. I was in far West outback Queensland, which is more remote than Cape York in many ways when we got the news that we probably should go back. Was supposedly heading towards Hervey Bay and my BiLaws place. He has a decent ocean-going boat and goes after the big ones 80ks out on the reef... We had a date we'd missed out on and would have had the bonus of Whale watching... Next time... Drove back from Winton (Dinosaur central) to Melbourne in 3 days.



Meantime things are progressing with my Daughters and 2YO grandson's new future.