Carb overload

The woman sitting behind me on the train who first munched her way loudly through a bag of crisps before getting her mobile out and chatting shit to someone for 30 mins

People who call Lego bricks 'Legos'. Usually our American/Canadian cousins.

How much Legos can you stuff up your bum?

Shane Long

The distinct lack of cup a soups in Haywards Heath today.

He wanted pasta + chips + cheesy bread.

Triple carb overload!

Writing Christmas Cards in 2015... nice to receive but annoying to have to write and post.

Cheeky garlic bread, a cheeky pint,a cheeky bet,a cheeky smoke.

WALOFS

Service charges in resteraunts, don't I get the choice if I want to tip?

Star Wars nerds. Its a childrens film. Hope its crap so you all shut the f up.

Stop fishing Al, you're boring!

Not being able to a proper Internet connection upstairs in my house. Especially when I want to er, watch some videos...

Simon "smug twat" Cowell. Yes I'm being subjected to last night's X Factor after an afternoon of footy watching.

The way my hot water runs cold for about 30 seconds before it gets hot.

Talk about saving water during a drought!

Christmas ads.

The only reason I look forward to Christmas Day is to put an end to these smaltzy, cheesy, overly guilt inducing, fabricated adverts.

I saw an interview with him after he got burgled recently where he's saying that he'd like to be put in a room with the burglers. We all know he'd melt so where's this fake tough man act coming from?

Pipe lagging required!

No, It's the same all year round. Old technology I guess.

Not in America you don't.

They pay the poor feckers bugger all and expect tips to make up the difference.

And it does pretty much so they can earn a reasonable living but the punter is ultimately screwed and has very little discretion.

It pisses me off no end but "when in Rome..."

New York is getting fairly outrageous with tipping demands - 25% isn't uncommon.

Powerline adapators is your answer... providing upstairs plug sockets are on the same circuit, you can pick them up with WiFi extender for less than £40

http://www.amazon.co.uk/TP-LINK-TL-W...ords=powerline

Plug and play for less than £20.

Should make for some flawless, erm, activity.

In bars in America you're expected to tip at least a dollar a drink, even more if it's an expensive drink. And because there aren't defined measures of spirits in America, bartenders even coerce you into tipping by giving you more or less spirit in your drink depending on how much you tip.

As someone who works in a pub for not much money at all, I'd gladly take their position; if you're working in a good bar/club on busy nights making $500-1000 in a night on tips is not unheard of.

If you have no signal to extend as in my bedroom then this. Shop around I paid £39 less than a month ago and there maybe other options. Happy.....well whatever http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/offer-lis...&condition=new

Exorbitantly expensive cartridge razor blades with about 30 fecking blades and five lubricating strips which are actually just shit and don't leave me clean shaven.

People that queue to buy some thing and then when they're asked for the money proceed to spend 5 minutes getting the purse/wallet out and getting the exact money like they weren't expecting to have to pay for it!!, have your bloody money ready you morons

Totally agree, or when they wait in line at an atm, then spend 2 minutes trying to find their wallet/bank card when it's their turn, scum.

Mickey Quinn.
Spouts drivel of the worst pub lawyer kind. Got the hump because Newcastle are a bit crap and Liverpool are not presented every piece of silverware, by right, every season.
"It's not a great season for the Premier League" : I think you mean, just because Chelsea are not in the top four and Liverpool aren't 10 points clear, you can't get your head around it.

At least Ian Rush is saying the opposite and citing the fact that after 16 games, teams are where they are on merit. Deal with it!

And while I am on a Liverpool theme, when is Lawrenson just going to do the decent thing and go to keep Hansen company in the one eyed, red tinted, home for the aged in Lytham St Annes?

Saudi nationals, who claim residency in the UK to spout there dangerous Wahabi brand of Islam, spend there time in the UK trying to get more of their dangerous cohorts into the country, get nicked in Afghanistan by the Americans, transferred to Guantanemo Bay (American Prison) and despite the best efforts of the UK government to release them, come back to the UK to slag us off. Go back to your own, HOME, country and slag off your OWN government for not getting you released. :veryangry:veryangry:veryangry

I met an Australian today who told me that he supported Germany in football rather than Australia. I stopped talking to him at that point.

Don't know exactly what bit annoys me but just the whole thing.

There is a 30MPH speed camera at the bottom of a hill near me. Immediately after this they are doing some road works, with a 20 MPH speed restriction. This morning a car was coming down the hill, at not much over 30, see's the 20MPH sign, slammed on his breaks under the camera and the car behind just piled in the back of him as it was wet and so unexpected.

I think it may be because I feel that they should have switched off the camera to save confusion. Nothing to do with me but still was made me grumpy.

I would have stopped on hearing the Australian accent.

Try and watch this advert without trying to smash your television up!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zB3JekAH9rc

Turned it off immediately before I smashed my phone up. That and that bloody Sky Movies brussel sprouts advert.

People who buzz around the office really importantly and ask people how they are at 90 mile an hour.
Fvck off you coked up twat

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5nzLTkKd9Q0

This one is worse. It's creepy more than annoying. Difficult to watch

Having 'last christmas' by wham going round in a loop in your head. Apologies if this subsequently annoys you too. If it does, don't randomly and bizarrely choose 'wham rap' to try and shift it, as it doesn't work and leaves you with 2 shit songs up there.

Turned it off after about 4 seconds. Unbearable

I'd like to see the nutter from Trollied come flying round the corner, punch that wanker's lights out and give the stuck up tart a proper Tesco cream pie.

I wish I had characters like that where I work. At my place of work everyone's been vetted, and you can tell.

Caught about 10 mins of most expensive Christmas thing on channel 4 last night and had to turn over before I exploded.
People with too much money spending £250k on Christmas flowers for a house that might not be in(might be on New York or their south of France home) and if that wasn't bad enough their daughter saw a house in London boarded up that she like. They checked the land registry to find out who owned it so they could make an offer to buy it, to find out they owned it already!!

Wealth Porn.

Is that the one where they decorated a Christmas Tree with diamonds and gold bars? I saw an ad for it made sure I didn't watch.

Think so, had so smug bloke who worked for this couple grinning like an idiot, and so other ponus who made this star for a Christmas tree for £300k.

I suppose it shouldn't annoy me as such, perhaps we need a thread for things that make you deeply upset ? :(

Police cars that follow you for ages .

Are you talking years?

Allo son. I know your face and I know your race. So I'm taking you in son.

Seems like it when you have left it late to get to work in time ;)

Little dead bugs floating in my cereal. No idea how they get in the box, but they always do. Pisses me off.

Really? How the hell does that happen? There are dead bugs in your cereal packet? Not worth taking it back to the store you bought it from and kicking arse? Unless you live on a farm and get your milk from a bucket that's been left out all day and night since the tits were squeezed?

Getting my fourth Palace gnome as a birthday present and still not getting the one I want!

Recruiters calling all the time - especially when I have things to do.

Honestly no fvcking idea, they're microscopic bugs, smaller than a crumb, I think they're in the cupboard we keep the cereal in but honestly I have no idea how they get in.

Grain Weevils?

http://www.thekitchn.com/how-to-prev...of-grai-140955

Yeah I think those are the bastards, I think the problem is no one in my house (including me) bothers to close the cereal boxes.

It's not a huge issue to be honest, there's rarely ever more than one in our average bowl of cereal, but it's still an annoyance.

I've found them in flour inside a tightly sealed apothecary jar. I think they can be in the grain itself.

Not sure if flour beetles are the same thing.

http://www.pantrypest.com/flour-beetles.html

Put any new flour you buy in the freezer for 24 hours. It kills them and stops them reproducing. Won't prevent them being in your flour though, but they are harmless.

If you get them in your cupboard you're looking at a major operation to eradicate them. We had them ate buying ingredients from a market weighstore. Never again

The Daily Express and it's apocalyptic banner headlines, they're like the Mail on steroids. It's usually something about biblical deluges coming to drown London next Tuesday or Siberian blasts causing snow until July but today they have excelled themselves:

ISIS to unleash TENS OF MILLIONS of jihadi hackers on West in blitz worse than NUCLEAR WAR

http://www.express.co.uk/news/world/...ul-John-McAfee

Scaremongering ****trumpets.

That is bad!

Paper plates at parties.

Guaranteed to retain none of the food on it.

2 guineas for gods sake?!

My wife (Again!).

She goes out and buys 2 pairs of trainers today.... a) why 2??? and b) why the **** a week before Christmas???

Probably because she guessed you wouldn't buy them for her for Xmas and they would probably slip under the radar if she bought them herself.

Just go out and buy some stuff that you want but you know won't be bought for you.

Equilibrium is achieved and thus life can go on without any problems. :p

Local Thais trying to sell you Ray Bans on the beach when you're already wearing a pair.

The year I decide to skip the office Christmas party is the year the police are called to it.

Dammit

Non stop coverage of Major Tim.

What happened? (That you've been told)

Yeah but their's are genuine :D

Winter Wonderland in Hyde Park. Though not sure to be annoyed with that shitfest, the missus who insisted it would be good or myself for failing to convince her it was a nailed on absolute shitfest.

Video adverts in websites. Adverts are fine if they don't move and don't blast sound at me. A simple scrolling Gif is also OK

Sitting in the office earlier listening to Michael Buble Christmas songs God the bloke must be blandest singer ever

The fact that I only recognise 8 of the 46 artists on Now that's what I call music 92.

Bring back top of the pops.

To be honest I wouldn't be eating anything if it was being served on paper plates. What sort of party has paper plates apart from a childrens one maybe?

The positioning of my end button on my new laptop being in a slightly different hand position. Sick to the back teeth of jumping to the end of pages.

BBQ?

Self harmers party, although paper cuts can hurt.

Jimmy Bullard hopefully he will disappear into obscurity soon

Opposing managers that are bitter pricks.

Mark Hughes. Reminds me of a fly round a piece of s**t. Or maybe just the, yes u know what I mean.

People who always turn up over an hour late while we are waiting at home to go out for a meal. Good job we hadn't booked a table and hope we can actually get one.

The fact that the clock is never displayed during football highlights especially during game of the day on Sky.

having to do "normal" shopping when every other ****** and his dog is out Christmas shopping

Hard to explain this one.... But it's people who spit tiny little spittles. The Norwich manager does it even when he's stood still on the touchline !

Spitting is disgusting , and I can probably excuse it somewhat in sport , but it's the tiny little ball of spit that annoys me.

People shooting their load over the new Star Wars film

Joel Ward's spelling

People who randomly get their fvcking smartphones out in the middle of a game and record a twenty second clip of the match or a player. Especially if it's some twat recording an away player from a top four side, just fvck off home please.

Sam Allardyce's inability to chew gum without having his big, fat, ugly mouth wide open.

Have you tried undoing the tow rope?

They didn't manage to shoehorn Princess Diana into that too, they're slipping

Anyways
Yous
Laters
Bruv
Innit
I'm lovin'it
Simples

The list is endless.....

'Mr Whacky' oh what a funster he is. Any bloke with a ponytail and tramp's trousers is a f*cking c*nt. Piss off nobend.

Thanks Pizza Express for lack of thought when you selected the Christmas sweet, presented with the bill.

It's full of nuts, so totally inappropriate for those of us with kids allergic to nuts. Christmas is a 'nut nightmare' for us anyway, so thanks for rubbing that in....here's a sweetie kids, oh sorry you can't have it!

Pretty insensitive for a chain that's a family restaurant.

I am sure they can't please everyone, I wouldn't let it ruin your Xmas 😳

Newspaper articles (especially the mirror) with "thing's we learned" headlines like this one.
http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/footba...pool-5-7021136

Christmas ads on tv. Soon to be replaced by sales ads.

Quite.

Negative pant wetters in the match day threads.

The latest revision of the free AVG virus software... Pop-up reminders all over the place.

I've always loved the fact if works quietly in the background, now it has become a jerk like the rest of them.

People with catarrh who make that disgusting snorting sound when attempting to dislodge lumps of snot from the back of their throat.