Atomic matter

I have it even worse. Bloke sits at end of my row which is only 3 seats away. Usually only need to pass him at half time as I usually get to seat before him. Every single match I politely say excuse me can I just get past, and every game he blanks me and doesnt move so I squeeze past the ****** anyway. Been going on for years miserable bastard.

Range Rover driver hating people called Bob who live in Oxted!

Chris Gayle

this. If I want to moan about Palace on a forum that none of the players read (if they do, they get what they deserve...) and the contents of which don't really matter before getting over a 3-0 loss at home to some shit like Sunderland then I will.

Blokes who ask you to move so they can get to their seat and address you as 'fella'.

We're not West Ham so please stop it.

Women with massive backpacks on public transport. The lack of spacial awareness is astounding. It's like watching one of those black and white slapstick comedy routines featuring two idiots with a plank of wood. The best bit is they all still seem to have massive handbags....

Not because of what happened yesterday surely ?

Be lucky.

Sweet as.

Yes

Nice one geez.

It's West Ammmm, no H

That bloody black dog that keeps running down the line during matches.Someone should get hold of it. If it gets`on the pitch during a game there could be a serious injury.

How my smartphone immediately latches on to a wi-fi spot and changes from my cell network, regardless of how strong the hotspot is. Dozens of times a day I have to turn it back.

:lux:

Turn your wifi off?

I only ever turn mine on when I'm at home, or work, or my parents. Never when I'm out in public. Drains the battery too.

Got it and basically agree. But no matter how weak the signal is it will switch. Glad to be on wifi when it's strong enough to function properly.

If you've got an iPhone just switch on wi-fi assist.

Oil below $35.

You have parts of the country almost hoping Iran and Saudi properly kicks off.

Go to Wifi and then turn off Ask to join networks :)

Mother in law commented on a dog running around the pitch a couple of times when i had a game on over the christmas period.......went out and checked the bottle of Metaxa before i twigged it.

Back to topic.....hospital car parks and the never ending quest for loose change thatvi have had to endure since saturday. Hunting for a 20p to save stopping at a supermarket / garage has become a sport in my house this week.

Good for cheap petrol. Probably not so great for those involved in the oil industry though.

Toilet seats that won't stay upright when having a whizz. How can blokes live in houses like that?

GUM Clinics... They make you sweat for a week and a half waiting for results

I got made redundant on Tuesday, I am not directly involved in oil, but have a lot of oil clients. There are people losing their jobs in lots of sectors due to knock on effects.

Sorry to hear that, Al. Good luck.

Sorry to hear that Al. PM sent.

Depends where you go. There are a couple in London that now do same day testing :p. Get the results by the end of the day

Are you positive?

Sorry dude, kinda inevitable though. That city is in a great big pile of poo. We're announcing more up there.

Cheers to you and others.

I'll survive, even if I have to get a temporary job in a shop.

Nothing to do with calling your boss a **** and getting your dick out at the works Christmas do? :)

Sorry to hear that al, hope you get something sorted soon.

No disrespect to anyone personally but to me the 'oil industry' means billionaire sheikhs. The fall in the price of oil means they'll only be able to keep 2,000 racehorses in training this year instead of 3,000. Meanwhile I can fill my car up for a sensible amount of money once more.

It's all good news in my book, and before anyone comes on here to give me the flip side of the coin, save it.

I'm not interested.

Shit british weather. Just how much rain is still up there? Day after day of the crap.

Classy

That Joe Hart advert.

No no no no no no no no there's no dandruff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I see.

You don't appear to understand that your Sheikhs are the ones behind the massive fall in the price. They want this.

Im positive you could now safely eat your dinner off my Be*&end...

PM me your address. :love:

(P.S I don't eat cheese)

Badly designed power tool cases that give little to no room for the cable and plug, it can take longer to repack than the job if was used for!!

That heart sinking feeling in a supermarket queue when the old bag in front decides to be 'helpful' and pay the exact amount.

Cashier: "That's £23.91 please"
Old dear: "Right love, let's see what we've got here... that's 10, 20... oooh, wait, I've got two 5's if that'll help... 10, 15, 20. 21. You always need change so I'll give you some of mine... 50, 70... oh no, that's a 5p. The look the same to me those 5's and 20's. I've got the wrong glasses on. Just a tick, I'll put my reading glasses on. Now, where were they? I only had them 5 minutes ago. Right, that's better. Where were we? Oh yes, 20, 21 - ooh, one of those new ones, 21.50, 60, 70, 90... ooh, a few coppers 95, 96, 97, 99... 22 pounds. How much was it?"
Cashier: "£23.91... I need another £1.91 please."
Old dear: "Oh. Oh dear, I've run out of change. Frank... have you got £1.91 in your pocket?"
Frank: "Hang on dear, I'll take a look... 50, 55, 75... no, is a fiver any good? Oh, what's this? A £2 coin. Put that towards it and... how much did you need? Oh, £1.91. Well put the £2 towards it and give me 9p back. I don't want it all in 1's. Tell you what, take a 10p out and I'll gove you the 1p back."
FOR ****'S SAKE WHERE'S YOUR SENSE OF ******* URGENCY?? YOU'RE PROBABLY GOING TO BE WORM FOOD IN THE NEXT 3 MONTHS... SOONER IF I EVER GET ******* STUCK BEHIND YOU AGAIN.

I do that. If you'd ever worked at a supermarket you would too.

Eat your dinner off someone's be#%end ?

Oh , I see ..... Sorry !

:lux::lux:

My inability to stay away from threads that wind me up

But that doesn't happen anymore,does it?

Oooooh yes ..... I logged into the BBS just to vent !

Sink.

Not even if you ask for a skinny coffee?

Having both rail lines north of Perth closed now due to flooding, including the road to Aberdeen (leaving hundreds stranded in Dundee), and getting jobs to Glasgow and back (normally the wettest place on earth).

If referees grind your gears, try this : http://www.theguardian.com/football/...fy-the-referee

You'll hate yourself for instantly recognising so many of them.

(Spoiler alert : there is no Kevin Friend)

Whistling.

What is the point ?

Stop being so bloody annoying.

:)

Women who keep their handbags on them when posing for a photo .

Holidays etc, not "those" type of photos.

Not knowing many of the names that pop up in the Transfer Section of the BBS.

Glad I am not the only one.

The new drinking guidelines. 6 pints a week. Managed that in less than an hour and a half last night. And now they tell me.

Just off to my regular Friday lunch. Quota? Hah!

F*cking sick to death of people on TV and everywhere using the word 'so' to start a sentence when it's not needed, just had this rant on another thread....

Stop starting threads with 'so'. Everyone stop staring sentences with so, The Apprentice, Dragons Den whatever FFS FFS. American SHIT. Hello introduce yourself...'so my name is Stan, people call me Paki Stan". What do you do for a living? 'so, I wank pigs off'.

SO MY ARSE!!!!

:D

Hearing a guy say to a nurse "Get me a ******* drink now" followed a kiss of his teeth.

I'd piss in his drink.

I hope she did

He wants to be careful

He's only allowed 6 drinks all week

Sexist .


:D

So is Chockey is on the piss again?

You might murder rabbits with your bare hands but I've murdered loads of Indians and even brought some back up to life.

Blokes wearing shorts in the winter

Jurgen Klopp's Dame Edna glasses.

Greg Dyke,something about his bluff demeanour grinds my gears

Zebras...... Black white black white make your ******* mind up!

Amen!

Mark ' Guttering' Noble
Darren ' Lazy ' Bent

Ah yes!

Lottery win dream list... http://www.clos-o-mat.com/index.php/...alma-vita.html

Microsoft download error codes and no advice on what to do

Not being able to enjoy a Bacon sarnie, without thinking of David Cameron !

My bowels.

They kick in at 5.30am without fail.

Oh for a lie in.

Count yourself lucky! I wake up about 3 or 4 times a night for a piss, apparently I've just got a weak bladder :grrr:

Or diabetes.

The new 'guidelines' on amount of alcohol.

Why are the government so insistent on the population all living into their 90's and reducing the risk of doing anything enjoyable but ensuring that we all end up sitting in pools of our own urine and unable to recognize anyone. I know I for one would rather that I was like that every other Friday night rather than for every day of the last 7 to 10 years of my life

I'm with you on this one, pisses me off!

Just had a health check in December and it's definately nothing dodgy, I've had the bastard thing for years.

Lip Sync Battle.

Gave it 10 mins and it was awful.

I don't get it, they really have run out of ideas for tele haven't they!

Glad to hear it - the health result not the other part!

They so have. I mean, that Alesha one is a singer so must have done this before and Walliams doesn't appear to turn down any show.

:p

One last thing before I leave this thread tonight, people that roll their R's when they talk. No need for it!

Yeah, bloody Edith Piaf.

Holly Willoughby no journalistic ability not sexy not attractive, and smug with it. And don't get me started on her mate Schofield

Especially after what he did to that poor gopher

10 minutes :eek::eek::eek:

I watched the American version and lasted 2 mins tops. :D

You've posted something I can wholeheartedly agree with at last! :p

You have to be old:D

The Stock Market.

If it annoys you that much, just switch it off.

Works for the Chinese...

Didn't they disconnect the switch today?

Plan B on Monday.

Blokes wearing vests in hotel restaurants.

Have some self respect ffs. It's a restaurant not a beach.

Depends where you are I guess?

Miami and Crete... yes. London, New York or Paris... no

Gordon was the brains of that outfit!