Worse than the dolphin whisperer? Worse than the Go Compare bloke, particularly in his latest incarnation in a black cab? Those have me reaching for the remote control. Haribo ads just wash over me.

People who ask you a question just as you take a bite of something

I also hate people that make digs about what your eating etc. **** off.

I hate those pathetic women. Those adverts have been going on for years making out Maltesers are only for stupid lonely women on the verge of tribbing each other while their husbands are quite rightly out with frozen Mars Bar loving brasses.

Having to google what tribbing meant.

Or on chopping boards/random lumps of wood which is just so edgy and out there these days

I don't mind cold plates if they're round my bellend.

any kind of comments on what/how much I'm eating are very offputting

G/f taking photos of what we're eating & posting to the world on Facebook. Who gives a s**t? (Other girls, apparently - Ed.) Oh yes, sorry, this gets 'em excited man!

Big Macs look the same the world over.

Coconut water

First you think Engeerland is west of Wales and then you admit to not knowing what tribbing is (from which I can only assume you don't view XHamster, which makes you totally weird).

You're not making life easy for yourself mate...

I fear that the contents of this thread may come as something of a surprise to you.

http://cpfc.org/forums/showthread.php?t=133492

Even more annoying is the caption which inevitably includes the word 'scrummy', 'yummy' or 'yum'. I don't know why those words irritate me but anyone over the age of 5 saying then needs their tongue stapled to a bread board.

When sitting in an aisle seat on a train and you are aware of someone standing next to you. You look up and see them pointing at the empty seat next to you, presumably indicating that they wish to sit there and could I move my legs to allow them to do so.

Just ******* talk you ****wit instead of looking like Donald Sutherland in Invasion of the Bodysnatchers.

People who sit on a train with their feet on the empty seat in front of them. Dirty bastards.

Labradoodles.

People who don't put their phone keypad on 'silent'.

I have to say, this is probably the thing that bugs me the most on a daily basis. Ipad owners seem to be particularly bad with this.

The Dartford Crossing. Still takes hours to cross, even now they have made it cashless.

People who de-badge their 2-litre diesel saloon/coupe and make out it's a high performance car. The tiny tailpipe gives you away, you numpty!

Wrong thread.

"Nom nom nom!"

Pop pop pop pop pop pop....followed by constant loud text alert sounds. Turn the sound off you're looking at your phone you will know when your arsehole mates are replying to your shit.

I don't know what's wrong with these bastards that seem to block the whole world out and have no consideration for others.

People that walk down the street with their cup of Costa/Starbucks coffee held out in front of them like it's a live grenade.

I momentarily contemplate stabbing people who say delish.

Are you admitting to a foot fetish here, Chocky?

They should be killed.

Is there a mobile phone reception 'jammer' that can be purchased that wouldn't mess with the train driver? I want a localised block out of all mobile phone reception in my carriage so I don't have to listen to those noises, or someone spitting pig latin into their phone for my entire commute.
It does my hairtrigger temper no good whatsoever. I'm going to end up on the news quite soon I reckon.

You'll tell if it's live if it goes off after 7 seconds.

:D So many people do it too.

Work colleagues that get above themselves.

People that only ever have their phone on silent to so never answer the phone or hear messages and reply hours later.

:hi:

I do this.

Checkout person asking me if I want a bag after I have dumped a trolley worth of groceries on their till?

'No, it's fine, I'll simply carry all this ******* shit home in stages over the next three days love'.

Loads of tight c*nts put it straight back in the trolley and straight in their motor loose.

Actually hate feet but there have been a select few women who had tidy plates no twisted little toe or corns or second toe massive sticking out compared to the big toe. Feet can be like minges. Perfect ones that you'd spend hours down there sweet tasting or ones that look like a f*cking ripped out fireplace that stinks of out of date Scampi Fries.

Nice feet to nice minge ratio no comparison though. Feet mainly rank avoid. Minges mainly ok sometimes take photos for Facebook 'delish yum yum'.

Go to America, buy a gun, I'll get out the popcorn and watch it all unfold live on Sky. If we go down I'll join you.

I'm not sharing a cell with you, Chocky. I have beautiful feet.*



(*I don't. Hurling has destroyed them. I'm like Christy Brown with two left feet. I drink more though.)

Apparently ;)

The same with 'to die for'. They should be instantly eradicated.

When popping out for a takeaway, you ask your family 'Do you want anything', as in a portion of chips etc . 'No thanks' is the reply.

You return with your large cod and chips and the first thing that happens is your chips are stolen before your eyes. What part of 'I asked if you wanted anything and you said no' do they not understand!!!!

You then use your fork for its real use, that of stabbing grabbing hands.

Women with eye brows that look like they've been stenciled with a marker pen. Who is convincing them that it looks attractive? They just look angry all the time!

In that scenario I always buy an extra portion because I know the f*cking c*nts will suddenly get hungry and want to dive into my Indian/Chinese/Fish&Chips.

Then I use the fork to stab if the greedy poncing f*ckers don't pay for what they ate. At least that way I get to eat all my grub with the possible addition of stabbing some scavenger wankers.

Amen brother.

Young women who pump shit into their lips and other parts of their already decent faces thinking the result will make them look like pouting sex queens. When in fact they they look like ugly acid victim plastic blow up dolls you could pop with a pin.

Two birds with one stone!

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com...62f5ba74f6.jpg

******* hell she looks like a startled sink plunger.

WTF is that? Fvk my hard hat, thats a monster. I feel quite ill. No wonder PK went all up hill gardener.

Half-term Underground-dawdling idiots who stop at the bottom of escalators during the evening rush hour. Get the f*ck out of the way.

I'm beginning to get irritated by English celebrities calling 'Los Angeles' 'LA'. I think maybe it's the familiarity of the term that annoys me, like they've achieved something over there and have earned the right to abbreviate it, when actually they've achieved sod all. I suppose I find it presumptuous.

Having lived there, I would argue that it's what people from Los Angeles actually call it :)

There is an otherwise very attractive women who get's my train in the morning who has done exactly this. She now resembles a duck. WTF was she thinking!

I've always heard it called LA. But calling the airport LAX is a different level of pretentiousness.

I call it LAX as that's what they actually call it :D

http://www.lawa.org/welcomeLAX.aspx

nonce behaviour, that

People who loudly revel in their stupidity. I can't believe I had a conversation with a woman in her mid-twenties who didn't know how raspberries grow. She then found a 'worm' (a tiny grub) on one and felt the need to loudly ring her mother to ask if she should eat the rest. Unfortunately she decided to bin the whole punnet and treated us all to another 10 minutes of topics such as 'how do you vote? I know nothing about politics and who is the prime minister?

Isn't that just girlish frivolity? She might've been flirting with you and you missed all the signs.

I admire your optimism, in my attractiveness to younger women! :-)

I reckon there's more than a hint of a moustache?

13 minutes. **** that. Get a gun.

That's the airport - if you go around calling LA "LAX" you'll get some very strange looks.

I can honestly say that, at my age, nothing annoys me anymore.

Which is what Rob said, LAX, the airport.
Perhaps LAX is used by people as a name for the airport because it distinguishes it from smaller airports within the LA conurbation e.g. Long Beach.

Selfie c*nts.

http://www.express.co.uk/news/world/...-Plata-dolphin

False, meaningless mealy mouthed apologies given, ie by Chris Gayle, Manny Pacquio & Tyson Fury

Don't blush baby

Just like the good old days... how did we ever make it to 2016?

It seems to have been a particularly annoying day... over 2 pages of posts in the last 24 hours!

Anyway... as a resident of "LA" for over 30 years, in speech I'm not sure I ever call it LA, just in posts on the BBS. Verbally I will still call it Los Angeles.

LAX is another matter. Yes it is akin to calling the London Underground "The Tube". As Rob alluded to, I live nearer to Burbank (as many of you do to Gatwick), so I have to be more specific when going to the airport. There is not a person in Los Angeles who does not use the term LAX.... it is a given. I would agree that someone in London would never say they are going to LHR!

The cost of wine in Abu Dhabi. Effing ridiculous.

Automatic doors that don't open quickly enough & therefore actually hinder my progress through them.

What? Not even me?

Things that annoy you
 

Sandwich makers who have such little strength they fail to cut the bottom slice in half. Leaving you to tear your bacon and egg butty, the filling falls out and your left with bread, bacon and egg in a heap. Do your ******* job and cut the ******* bread!

Dear god, this is absolutely f*cking disgusting, bunch of *******!

You're a lawyer aren't you? You can afford it. Anyway should you be drinking in an Arab state? Isn't that disrespecting their culture?

Static shocks. You probably think you get the most, but it's me

Amen

Started with Jade Goody and is now exampled regularly by Joey Essex and his ilk, being stupid or ditzy is seen as cool, cute or endearing.

It's not.

Pregnant women

I hope you have a happy and healthy pregnancy I really do, but can the rest of us get on with our (obviously not as important) lives without having to recognise every 3 minutes you are with child.

I was on my train companies Twitter and a pregnant woman complained it was too busy, she couldn't get a seat and if anything happened to her unborn child she was holding Southeastern trains directly responsible. She then followed it up 5 mins later saying she had battled through, removed (her word) someone from a seat but that it was too hot and she was uncomfortable, she then followed up by complaining as she was worried she wouldn't be able to get off the busy train and is she missed her stop she was holding Southeastern trains directly responsible!!

Get a different ******* train - the world doesn't revolve around you !!!!!

You can get alcohol in loads of places in Abu Dhabi, and Qatar and Dubai etc etc.

Vegetarians and vegans who can't keep it to themselves. Yes, I am aware. I can't help but be aware, you've made sure of that. Repeatedly. I respect your lifestyle choice now respect mine as I consume this fried sliced dead pig in a roll.

Being told " enjoy"........

People who have picture and autographs framed on the wall.

I make a point of saying it's probably fake :D

People , normally TV or radio presenters , who talk too fast and make that weird noise ( try breathing in really fast but have your tongue slightly poking out ) as they race to get to their next "hilarious" sentence.

Zoe Ball does this all the time !

When commentators say that stuff about Bolasie not knowing what he's going to do next so the opposition have no idea etc.

When Holloway initially said it, it was a sharp and witty observation, now it's just pundit parrots squaking it because they haven't watched the match and have f'k all else to say.

When I hear them say it, it makes me want to burn down my house, live in the woods, and worship moonbeams.

Or maybe there should be more trains at peak times, and they should have better facilities, for everyone?

TBF most pregnant women just get on with it, I think this is just a byproduct of the 'LOOK AT ME' generation(s). I once had a pregnant woman berate me purely because I dared to sit next to her on a Southeastern train. Once a drama queen always...

Those 'baby on board' badges get on my tits. There should be more of these:

http://40.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_md...67qro1_400.jpg

It was Chief Brody's time of the month I reckon.

This is me.
Holly, Kryten (:vader:)and the Cat - not fakes though

:vader:

Oh, so it was.

Try watching interview with Gordon Brown, he gasps like a goldfish out of water.

Just because something can be afforded doesn't make it good value.

As to the disrespecting their culture, good effort at moral high ground. Even better effort at ignorance.

I have no idea what you are talking about.

The new BBC app. I unfortunately upgraded via the phone. What a hunk of junk for people that need BIG PICTURES rather than reading stuff. Fortunately I was able to get the old one back from iTunes. I hate what software developers think we need just to appease their egos.

Men who, especially in front of other men, say how unattractive certain women are, and that they would never consider the possibility if having sex with said women.

This, despite themselves being out of shape and ugly, as are their wives, and despite the fact they would probably ejaculate before removing their underpants if aforementioned women did approach them for sex.

Do I know you?

The BBC news online has really dumbed down over the years.

And is almost identical to CNN's... what's that all about?

The cock up that is the Costa coffee serving counter that resulted in me going home from the Ely shop smelling like a gingerbread latte.....but at least I caught the whipped cream. Place is full of twats wafting their arms about at said counter waiting for the coffee to be made by captain slow.

Baristas? Trying to hint that making a coffee has some form of skill like Ian Dowie (a rocket scientist)

Its Ely. Mind you, you would think Captain Slow could use those extra fingers better. Was Sturridge in there?