Busy Lizzie?

Has anyone mentioned The Hive adverts yet?

For the love of god just stop please.

Betty Swollocks in the summer.

The price of used cars these days.

The equivalent model/year/mileage of a car I bought in 2006 for £9k will set me back £15k now. WTF? How do these wankers get away with that kind of bollocks, given the shit state of the economy?

I know the answer to that actually, yet again it's the result of "want it all, want it all now" ******* spending beyond their means with all that PCP crap, rather than saving up / getting a proper loan. Dickheads.

https://40.media.tumblr.com/cd2684e9...7xtao3_540.jpg
https://41.media.tumblr.com/86ccee6e...7xtao2_540.jpg
https://41.media.tumblr.com/700f399f...7xtao4_540.jpg
https://41.media.tumblr.com/851a8308...7xtao1_540.jpg

Top top.

As in

"top top player"
"Top top club"
"Top top manager"

Top top bollocks.

Jamie Redknapp has a lot to answer for

In that last pic with Ben Elton & the banjo, is that Jose Mourinho looking depressed @ the Jobcentre?

Why would you "save up" or take out a loan though if PCP works out cheaper than either? I get a new car every two years with no deposit as there is always equity on the one I am trading in, with reasonable payments and no hassle when getting rid of the car.

Am I a Dickhead?

As does the sperm that emerged from his father all those years ago...

Dangerous question to ask on the BBS...

I realised that as soon as I hit "submit reply" :)

Sharepoint

:lux::lux::lux:"top top b*ll*cks":lux::lux::lux:

and i-Manage.

Noticing things that remind me I'm getting older.

For instance, I just realised that if Julian Speroni doesn't play this season, then it will be the first season of my Palace supporting career that every player to make an appearance is younger than me.

It's something you get used to.......

Copying tables from Excel into Word. I'm mean for ****s sake, you're made by the same bloody people, stop being a twat to me

Ahh the Office family.

Which reminds me - being asked "Sounds good. Can you just put that in a slide pack for me. No more than four"

When did work become all slides, slides, slides?

I don't get annoyed by emojis in general, I quite like them however this �� gets on my tits. As do ones that come through to my phone as the constitute parts rather than the actual emoji, and I can't work out what they mean.

Ironically the �� above isn't showing. It's the ok hand sign whatsit.

People that use # on anything other than Twitter. Not everyone uses Twitter, for a good reason, its shit.
#Wankers

I think Palace's away shirt this season is a top top top.

A Top top top in top tumps?

The sight of David Cameron on my TV
The sight of Boris Johnson on my TV
Chris Grayling
People who want to relax Britain's gun laws

Getting to division 2 in Fifa 16, then somehow losing enough games on the trot to get relegated 5 divisions, with the same team.
The game is rigged - is Blatter a coder for EA?

Bolasie must've been out for ages.

Got IF Bolasie, scores loads if you rest him every 2 games

The name 'Nick Gusset'. Especially the gusset bit. And I've said it again.

That's enough worcester(shire) sauce thank you.

Still annoying me - the people who wait on platform 10 at London Bridge for the train after mine. There's still 10mins before this one leaves. I assume there's at least 20-25mins before yours. Stop huddling round the doors and stopping us getting on.

people who want to talk to you about work during your lunch break, especially while you are eating your lunch.

Potholes. There should be truck that drives round all day fixing the feckers.

My daughters school insists on using pop songs and cheesy feel good videos at any and every function I have attend there. Just stop it.

Had that today. Newspaper open , bbs on the laptop, sandwiches on the desk. "Are you having your lunch?" "Of course I ******* am! Are you ******* blind?"

They should be shot.

Tell me about it - there's a road I cycle down on my way home from work that's like a ******* minefield. Thank God it's now light enough in the evenings to spot them easily, it was a nightmare when it was dark before 5pm

I remember watching Bostock play for us at colchester and realising I was older than him and I will never be a professional footballer. Therefore, I would like to add reality to the list.

Yep. I think Teddy Sheringham was the last player I saw who was older than me...

The road to the station car park is like a russian motorway, bloody holes everywhere. I reckon the council are getting kickbacks from the tyre repair places to do nothing about them.

Adding to their kickback from KwikFit for speed hump exhaust pipe damage.

Adele.
Poor man's Winehouse and the next divaish Essex bird to be exposed Gemma Collins style.

Essex?

She's from Tottenham, a stones throw from Enfield.

She's from West Norwood! (Raised)

How true this is. I've started an offline career with myself up front. Much more rewarding and less stressful.

She said Tottenham the other night, can't stand her so never Googled it.

Edit. I did

Early life
Adele Laurie Blue Adkins was born on 5 May 1988 in Tottenham, London, the daughter of an English mother, Penny Adkins, and a Welsh father, Mark Evans.[20] Evans left when Adele was two, leaving her mother to raise her.[21][22] She began singing at age four and asserts that she became obsessed with voices.[23][24] Growing up, Adele spent most of her time singing rather than reading; the last book she read was Roald Dahl's Matilda when she was six years old.[25] In 1997, at the age of nine, Adele and her mother, who by then had found work as a furniture maker and an adult-learning activities organiser, relocated to Brighton on the south coast of England.[26]

In 1999, two years later, she and her mother moved back to London; first to Brixton, and then to neighbouring district West Norwood, in south London.[27] West Norwood is the subject for Adele's first record, "Hometown Glory", which she wrote and composed in 2004, when she was 16.[28] Adele graduated from the BRIT School for Performing Arts & Technology in Croydon in May 2006,[29] where she was a classmate of Leona Lewis and Jessie J.[5][30] Adele credits the school with nurturing her talent[31] even though, at the time, she was more interested in going into A&R and hoped to launch other people's careers.[5]

She's still a fat miserable ****.

Boring SHIT.

So is she.

This is so annoying :veryangry

That's what I meant Little Alan. Can't stand her miserable bollocks.

Whoosh you dopey bastard.

David Buik.

Appointed mouthpiece of the City of London.

That's soooo random!

No it's not, at best it a coincidence you ****.

You shouldn't have sent her to William McKinley High.

Mind you in the 70's it was all Grease, Abba and Fame....

Today I annoy me. Got to the car, no keys. Left them in the office, and my wife's out tonight. Might make it home by 9.30 if I am lucky

Anachronisms in writing. I'm reading A Brief History of Seven Killings, set in Jamaica 1976. At one point the author gives the expression, 'So last year' to one of the characters. I am pretty sure that is a 21st century expression or at the very least, late 1990s. At another juncture, he has one character use the term 'chillax' which I did check up on. Chillax is most certainly not 1976. Hard to take the rest of the writing seriously (it is a good book for all that) with that.

The lollipop lady at the bottom of Borstal Hill in Whitstable.

Do you know where she helps to usher the kid's across the road? On a Pelican f*cking crossing :confused:

What is the point in that? She just presses the button and when the red lights come up, she walks out all purposeful and stands there waving the kid's across.

The f*cking kid's could press the button and probably get the hump because they can't any more :grrr:

No she quite often carries on after the lights have changed - was late for the dentist last time I went down there in the morning

Packaging that is more air than product.

Just got a pack of Twirls, 3 + 1 free it shouts at me. First off the twirls are smaller than I remember, second the pack has room for 5 & 1/2 of these bars not the 4 that are inside.

Remember Milky Ways? Same thing - more airways than milky. You just recognised a taste & it was gone...which is what my girlfriend said the other day (Right, that's enough - Ed.)

The Oscars. Why do we have to have a 5 day run up then a 3 day dissection of the results? Who cares?

Dumb journalists.

Love this story...

TheMexicanHorse... I've been away for a while, some things have changed, but he's still a monumental, argumentative ****, even when he's clearly wrong.

^^^^

It's just a movie FFS.

People who judge others based on ethnicity or employment. Small minded ignorant turds.

or meeting someone and very early in the conversation, have them asking which school you went to

You could extend that to include any showbiz awards ceremony.

Yeah, cos that makes such a difference :rolleyes: judgemental wankers.

"What star sign are you?"

"You with your knowledge of astrology should be able to work out I was born under the sign of people who tell you to get f*cked you stupid pathetic tart".

Have you ever been to the north of Ireland?

:vader:

You shaddup!

Yes, its called the Atlantic. Its a bit wet there.

Ravenswood. You know, David Bowie and Peter Frampton.

:)

You're a big bloke, but you're out of shape.

So am I, come to think of it.

Agreed.

My wife getting her hands on a number of very rare Showaddywaddy and Grumbleweeds' 45s I'd left on top of the radiogram, and making them 'nice and shiny' for me by removing them from their sleeves and polishing them with Pledge.

I sold a copy of this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zg4RqR4IADw 42 yrs ago and so wish I hadn't

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTdn1w-oiIk

Anyone got a copy in vinyl?

Shaddup youngster, shaddup !

easy, easy, easy.

Whats all that about anyway?

The sound when the washing machine has finished.

BEEP BEEP BEEP....

Back in the day it was forgetting to take the washing out and only realising the following day because after the cycle finished it didn't go BEEP BEEP BEEP.

Typical problem, with the youth of today. Fvck, I hate kids.

Think yourself lucky chris sophie x The bastard we picked up from york on ebay before man city plays a bleedin' opera when its finished. Surprised it doesn't take a fecking bow as well. Its only washed some clothes ffs :)

where's the sledgehammer? :veryangry


PS. I think I know why the bloke in York was selling it.

We tried to find a way to turn it off but it wasn't having any of it. At least the dishwasher does what it should do without any poncy 'look at me' nonsense.

Insurance companies offering free toys for signing up. What do I want a toy for , I'm a single adult male and the cost of these toys would just be added to my premium. I want to smelt all the Brian robots in a furnace

Wait till your older than the referees:sob:

Just shouts: "Am I doin' the dryin' again as well as per usual!!" ?

:D It's enough to make you think twice about doing a wash ! Turn those underpants inside out..... :)

That takes me back. 'You wash, i'll dry' :) Never understood why some manky dishcloth would somehow put less germs back on the plate than just leaving them to dry naturally :confused:

It plays 'two tribes' when its washing my clothes :eek:

Its not the insurance companies offering them its the comparison websites who get a percentage of the premium you pay if you go through their sites. You would think therefore go to the company direct and the premium will be cheaper that does not seem to work very often in my experience. To get your custom they go cheaper on comparison sites (that annoys me)

:D

Subway calling their workers 'Sandwich Artists'. They're not ******* artists, they get paid to put meatballs onto my ******* sandwich and they can barely even do that properly.

Insomnia

My new mobile which can't ever find an internet signal. So those 'free LINE calls' are just a waste of time & button-pressing frustrating frenzies! (Take your medication now - Ed.)

Of course.

Being really nervous before the game today when we should be safe by now. Ditto Tuesday.