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-   -   Things that annoy you (https://www.cpfc.org/forums/showthread.php?t=255975)

biggus mickus 04-10-2016 07:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pallet (Post 13256106)
People who cant go to the threatre cinema etc without using thier phone.

Mitch and I went to see the Malaga orchestra, for a Wagner, Tanhauser evening. Some old spic dog, opening wrapped sweets and three text messages. I was about to explode, when a spic fella did it for me. :D good man.

Great evening apart from that.

TopKnot 04-10-2016 07:25 PM

London Bridge station 'testing alternate route' between the train platform concourse and the tube. What exactly are they testing, that directing people down a rabbit warren of twisting tunnels takes significantly longer than the direct A to B route that was being used last week?

little al 04-10-2016 07:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smileysmith (Post 13258123)
This.

I remember the days before mobile phones when we blokes were renowned for brief to the point phone calls ("Pub?" "Yeah - meet you there at 8" "Later").

We laughed at the women and their constant nattering. What happened?!

Thats still pretty much the conversations I have.

knowlesyUCLA 04-10-2016 07:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TopKnot (Post 13258418)
London Bridge station 'testing alternate route' between the train platform concourse and the tube. What exactly are they testing, that directing people down a rabbit warren of twisting tunnels takes significantly longer than the direct A to B route that was being used last week?

Agreed - this is absolute bollocks.

Joe85 04-10-2016 09:28 PM

Eastenders.

Utterly ******* ridiculous. How is this show still getting funded?

Yoda 04-10-2016 10:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joe85 (Post 13258536)
Eastenders.

Utterly ******* ridiculous. How is this show still getting funded?

....because it fills a lot of slots in the schedule?


We stopped watching it several years ago. We suddenly agreed it was boring us and shouty nonsense.

Haven't missed it in the slightest.

So if we all did that, it'd get the axe at last.

gold76 05-10-2016 01:23 PM

The Simpsons

Used to be TV gold- watched it the other day, totally jumped the shark..

Chocky 05-10-2016 03:57 PM

EastEnders should be banned because it's racist. Everyone knows that the whole square and surrounding areas would be inhabited by Pakistanis and Bangladeshis and the Vic would be a Muslim Comminuty Centre. But it's predomenantly full of white people shouting at and kicking the shit out of each other, when in reality they all pissed off to Essex to do that years before the soap started.

Chocky 05-10-2016 04:03 PM

Same as Corrie. How many streets in Moss Side have only one Asian family and a homosexual with Downs Syndrome? And a bloke who used to be on Play School fingering Jemima?

WorthingEagle 05-10-2016 04:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chocky (Post 13259397)
Same as Corrie. How many streets in Moss Side have only one Asian family and a homosexua with Downs Syndrome? And a bloke who used to be on Play School?

Apparently Southerners are falling over themselves to move to a small village in Cheshire with a murder-per-capita rate higher than El Salvador.

evvo111 05-10-2016 08:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gold76 (Post 13259170)
The Simpsons

Used to be TV gold- watched it the other day, totally jumped the shark..

Just watched episode 2 and Homer dancing nude to I Feel Free by Cream must give it a few plus points :)

evvo111 06-10-2016 12:30 PM

People who keep losing things

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...ck-BOTTOM.html

Jim Cannon 06-10-2016 12:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by evvo111 (Post 13260250)

Some people will do anything to get in the papers

evvo111 06-10-2016 12:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jim Cannon (Post 13260253)
Some people will do anything to get in the papers

Finchy from The Office was wrong :(

janetfdoss 06-10-2016 12:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Icy (Post 13091346)
Ryan ******* Giggs. The whiney faced **** seems to be everywhere after the wankers dropped him like the sheep shagging wanker he is.

Please yourself with this interesting topic written on " Are Vampires Real ? The Vampire Myth, Real or Claim ? "

I can't share URL. Reply me to give your URL of this post private and you shall share it on the thread.

saxoneagle 06-10-2016 01:37 PM

German wankers. One specifically.

fioreuk 06-10-2016 01:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by saxoneagle (Post 13260300)
German wankers. One specifically.

Helmut Stroker?

Joe85 06-10-2016 01:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by evvo111 (Post 13260250)



Excellent.

elgin eagle 06-10-2016 03:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joe85 (Post 13260304)
Excellent.

Four candles? :)

ElwissAtMemphis 06-10-2016 03:15 PM

"a bit of Saturday morning playtime" !? Man, I've lived a sheltered life.

PALACEWU 06-10-2016 03:20 PM

Daily mail probably made it up.

Joe85 06-10-2016 03:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PALACEWU (Post 13260460)
Daily mail probably made it up.



I think you're over analysing.

Maidstoned Eagle 06-10-2016 03:28 PM

Bosses who think that paying you a wage gives them Carte blanche over your life.

elgin eagle 06-10-2016 04:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ElwissAtMemphis (Post 13260454)
"a bit of Saturday morning playtime" !? Man, I've lived a sheltered life.

She came 4 times in the ambulance. No wonder it got there in 5 minutes.

Most un-daily mailish story ever.

Terrace Bickle 06-10-2016 05:58 PM

She looks rougher when she's made herself up. I bet her parents are so proud.

Chris K 06-10-2016 06:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PALACEWU (Post 13260460)
Daily mail probably made it up.

It was in the Metro too. She's even quoted as saying "Lee's not been scarred by it - he just thinks it's funny. I think he should have one up his bum and take it one for the team"

I don't care if you are from North Wales, you still wouldn't come out with that if it was a real story.

Chocky 06-10-2016 06:48 PM

I saw some porn documentary who knows where and why but the same thing had happened to a girl. She had to kneel in front of the sofa, bend over and eventually managed to shit it out. Not one of my best wanks.

Nostrils 06-10-2016 07:52 PM

'He tried a kitchen fork handle...' The two Ronnie's will be spinning in their graves!

Worksop Palace 06-10-2016 07:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by evvo111 (Post 13260250)

That's a story right out of Viz

ElwissAtMemphis 06-10-2016 08:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chocky (Post 13260678)
I saw some porn documentary who knows where and why but the same thing had happened to a girl. She had to kneel in front of the sofa, bend over and eventually managed to shit it out. Not one of my best wanks.

A documentary was it? Was that before or after the fly-on-the-wall wildlife feature and the proctology infomercial?

Worksop Palace 06-10-2016 08:25 PM

Lewis Hamilton

What a self absorbed, arrogant prick

Chocky 06-10-2016 08:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ElwissAtMemphis (Post 13260746)
A documentary was it? Was that before or after the fly-on-the-wall wildlife feature and the proctology infomercial?

It was presented by Proffesor Brian Cox. Standing there grinning as usual. When it came out he shoved it up his own arse. Still grinning.

Then started going on about other universes with a dildo up his aris.

biggus mickus 06-10-2016 08:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maidstoned Eagle (Post 13260475)
Bosses who think that paying you a wage gives them Carte blanche over your life.

Had a boss try that on me once. Just the once. He looked stupid with one McDonalds straw down both nostrils.

biggus mickus 06-10-2016 08:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chocky (Post 13260777)
It was presented by Proffesor Brian Cox. Standing there grinning as usual. When it came out he shoved it up his own arse. Still grinning.

Then started going on about other universes with a dildo up his aris.

Aris? Is that a moon?

Polak 06-10-2016 10:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by biggus mickus (Post 13260782)
Aris? Is that a moon?

Don't know if I'm being whooshed but here goes.
Aris short for Aristotle
Aristotle = bottle
Bottle and glass = arse

A bit convoluted but there you go.

FORZA SELHURST 06-10-2016 10:12 PM

And if you show off your bare arse?

civil eagle 06-10-2016 10:45 PM

The apprentice a good reason to hate anyone who describes themselves as an entrepreneur

cappuccinoeagle 06-10-2016 10:48 PM

That bloke who narrates Come Dine With Me

Icy 06-10-2016 11:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by janetfdoss (Post 13260256)
Please yourself with this interesting topic written on " Are Vampires Real ? The Vampire Myth, Real or Claim ? "

I can't share URL. Reply me to give your URL of this post private and you shall share it on the thread.

WTF?

Les Butler 06-10-2016 11:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Icy (Post 13260961)
WTF?

I did wonder LOL, I was trying to work out the cricket post as well :D

Takes all sorts...;)

Quote:

Originally Posted by janetfdoss (Post 12381007)
I have a question about county cricket that is it possible to have a quality player been produced by the county cricket type? As far as i think it is not possible because the nature of player in county cricket is to just beat no matter how bad he is playing or for how long time he is staying on the pitch, He just have to produce the scores for the team. What do you say about it?


Terrace Bickle 06-10-2016 11:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chocky (Post 13260678)
I saw some porn documentary who knows where and why but the same thing had happened to a girl. She had to kneel in front of the sofa, bend over and eventually managed to shit it out. Not one of my best wanks.

From the many stories I heard from LAS staff the tops off deodorants were the items most likely to go...ahem astray.

One bloke stuck a flower down his japs eye to impress. I can't remember exactly what it was, but the stem had bristles or hairs on it and it stripped his urethane a bit...

Terrace Bickle 06-10-2016 11:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by civil eagle (Post 13260909)
The apprentice a good reason to hate anyone who describes themselves as an entrepreneur

I read some quotes from the participants the other day. They should be abandoned on a uninhabited island somewhere so they don't pollute the rest of humanity.

west country boy 07-10-2016 01:13 AM

Kate Tempest.

Worksop Palace 07-10-2016 07:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by west country boy (Post 13261037)
Kate Tempest.

Is that the bird that goes round rapping shit poetry in a really shit way ? If so, I'm with you

Prince Phillip 07-10-2016 09:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cappuccinoeagle (Post 13260913)
That bloke who narrates Come Dine With Me

Yes, that thinly-veiled sarcasm is now uniformly aped by every other show of the genre.

Which is nice.

Chris K 07-10-2016 10:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Terrace Bickle (Post 13260975)
I read some quotes from the participants the other day. They should be abandoned on a uninhabited island somewhere so they don't pollute the rest of humanity.

You could make it in the style of hit Japanese film Battle Royale. You'd have a true winner and also 17 less ***** on the planet. All being well Brady would get done in the crossfire

I reject the Come Dine with Me motion, it's perfect Sunday hangover viewing when you don't want to get out of bed

Icy 07-10-2016 11:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Les Butler (Post 13260968)
I did wonder LOL, I was trying to work out the cricket post as well :D

Takes all sorts...;)

:supergrin:

To be fair cricket is pretty incomprehensible. I thought my cricket playing mate was taking the piss when he first told me about the Duckworth Lewis method.

V.Meldrew 07-10-2016 11:24 AM

Lazy bastards who let their front garden hedge grow into a jungle over the pavement so you have to either cross the road or duck and dive your way underneath. Bad if they happen to be brambles!

west country boy 07-10-2016 11:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Worksop Palace (Post 13261120)
Is that the bird that goes round rapping shit poetry in a really shit way ? If so, I'm with you

Yep, a BRIT School and Goldsmith's alumnus who pretends to have been brought up in a dustbin. So unauthentic she makes Damon Albarn look like Li'l Wayne.

Hedgehog 08-10-2016 03:04 AM

Not sure if they do this in The UK, probably do because they copy everything we do in America, but we get letters from charities asking for contributions and in the letter they for some reason tape a penny, or a nickel or dime in them "as a gift".

Anyway I usually put these solicitations (without the coin) straight in the shredder. I just did this only to hear a horrible grinding noise and snap crackle and pop! I now have my second ****ed up shredder due to trying to shred these coins.

I'm convinced they do it on purpose for this very reason.

Bastards.

CT_Palace 08-10-2016 05:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hedgehog (Post 13262086)
Not sure if they do this in The UK, probably do because they copy everything we do in America, but we get letters from charities asking for contributions and in the letter they for some reason tape a penny, or a nickel or dime in them "as a gift".

Anyway I usually put these solicitations (without the coin) straight in the shredder. I just did this only to hear a horrible grinding noise and snap crackle and pop! I now have my second ****ed up shredder due to trying to shred these coins.

I'm convinced they do it on purpose for this very reason.

Bastards.

Just a thought H, but why shred junk mail?

Hedgehog 08-10-2016 05:45 AM

Things that annoy you
 
It has our name and address on it - and I love shredding - I find it somewhat cathartic!

stevek 08-10-2016 12:13 PM

In restaurants when you order an alcoholic drink and ask for a tap water as well, and they 'forget' to bring the tap water. It happens far too often to be accidental.

ChiswickEagle 08-10-2016 07:06 PM

People who say that Brexit has not been as bad as was feared.

Let's wait until Brexit happens eh?

Jim Cannon 08-10-2016 08:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hedgehog (Post 13262086)
Not sure if they do this in The UK, probably do because they copy everything we do in America, but we get letters from charities asking for contributions and in the letter they for some reason tape a penny, or a nickel or dime in them "as a gift".

Anyway I usually put these solicitations (without the coin) straight in the shredder. I just did this only to hear a horrible grinding noise and snap crackle and pop! I now have my second ****ed up shredder due to trying to shred these coins.

I'm convinced they do it on purpose for this very reason.

Bastards.

Not sure we copy everything you do in the states. For a start most of us don't have guns:supergrin:

RobertCPFC 08-10-2016 10:37 PM

Ryan Giggs being used as a pundit on ITV's England coverage.

WLYWLYAWYPWF 08-10-2016 10:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RobertCPFC (Post 13262900)
Ryan Giggs being used as a pundit on ITV's England coverage.

Could have stopped at Ryan Giggs

mrgins 08-10-2016 10:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jim Cannon (Post 13262733)
Not sure we copy everything you do in the states. For a start most of us don't have guns:supergrin:

But I bet you would if you could!

Terrace Bickle 08-10-2016 10:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hedgehog (Post 13262086)
Not sure if they do this in The UK, probably do because they copy everything we do in America, but we get letters from charities asking for contributions and in the letter they for some reason tape a penny, or a nickel or dime in them "as a gift".

Anyway I usually put these solicitations (without the coin) straight in the shredder. I just did this only to hear a horrible grinding noise and snap crackle and pop! I now have my second ****ed up shredder due to trying to shred these coins.

I'm convinced they do it on purpose for this very reason.

Bastards.

This where the UK is far more civilised, charities just post you an endless supply of bin bags.

RobertCPFC 08-10-2016 11:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WLYWLYAWYPWF (Post 13262910)
Could have stopped at Ryan Giggs

:D

Pistol Knight 08-10-2016 11:41 PM

The jocks thinking James McArthur is shit!!!!

MUGS the lot of em

Neckinger Eagle 09-10-2016 11:38 PM

When there's a corner and as the ball comes into the box the goalie or somebody shouts "away". Are all defenders so thick they don't know what to do?

Blind_Eagle 09-10-2016 11:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by janetfdoss (Post 13260256)
Please yourself with this interesting topic written on " Are Vampires Real ? – The Vampire Myth, Real or Claim ? "

I can't share URL. Reply me to give your URL of this post private and you shall share it on the thread.

Feck off and die please.

Les?

Blind_Eagle 09-10-2016 11:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mrgins (Post 13262916)
But I bet you would if you could!

We can, but in a strictly controlled manner.

Unlike you loons over the pond.

sherrifbart 10-10-2016 02:54 AM

Jack Whitehall,crap comediian who seems to on every time i switch on the tv.Must admit i enjoy watching him being well battered by our own Katy Taylor He is a posh boy who screams when he gets a clump.

whyte 10-10-2016 08:48 AM

He is very funny when doing stand up. Saw him at top secret and was by far one of the best comics I've seen for a long time

EagleSE24 10-10-2016 02:20 PM

People who instantly start chewing a boiled sweet instead of sucking it. Sounds like they're eating their teeth. At least it's over quickly.

Harry Bassett 10-10-2016 02:37 PM

Drivers who cannot be bothered to indicate whether they are turning left or right , something which should be natural to any competent driver.

fioreuk 10-10-2016 02:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Harry Bassett (Post 13264055)
Drivers who cannot be bothered to indicate whether they are turning left or right , something which should be natural to any competent driver.

Bang on. Seems to be getting worse by the day...regularly get very wound up by this.

fioreuk 10-10-2016 02:41 PM

Chit Chat Gold threads appearing on latest active thread lists....especially when someone has replied to about 10 in a minute.

Polak 10-10-2016 02:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fioreuk (Post 13264057)
Bang on. Seems to be getting worse by the day...regularly get very wound up by this.

Used to be a French thing along with not understanding about giving way at roundabouts but it is gradually becoming the norm over here. :veryangry

Polak 10-10-2016 02:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pistol Knight (Post 13262957)
The jocks thinking James McArthur is shit!!!!

MUGS the lot of em

They'd have lost without him. Twats

Isle of Wight 10-10-2016 03:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blind_Eagle (Post 13263651)
Feck off and die please.

Les?

But if they are a Vampires are they not the part of the undead so how can they?

CT_Palace 11-10-2016 01:26 AM

Just in case any of this thread's contributors decides to "blow of steam" in the gym.

https://www.theguardian.com/science/...ercising-angry

Les Butler 11-10-2016 02:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blind_Eagle (Post 13263651)
Feck off and die please.

Les?

What did I do ?

;)

https://66.media.tumblr.com/abb79a1f...mi3zo1_500.gif

http://i.imgur.com/Vznk1z2.gif

Blind_Eagle 11-10-2016 02:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Les Butler (Post 13264768)
What did I do ?

;)

From what I can see, absolutely nothing. :supergrin:

EagleSE24 11-10-2016 11:48 AM

Referees drawing a straight line for a defensive wall to stand behind with their vanishing spray. A line ten yards from a ball should be circular.

EagleSE24 11-10-2016 11:50 AM

This is how it should be done https://gfycat.com/TautGlaringChihuahua

fioreuk 11-10-2016 12:36 PM

Work meetings where attendees line up 1 or 2 mobiles, Pda, laptop etc in front of them, as if the more items they have reinforces their (self) importance.

:jerkit:

GanbareWashi 11-10-2016 01:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EagleSE24 (Post 13264951)
This is how it should be done https://gfycat.com/TautGlaringChihuahua

Referees wasting their magic spray annoys me

GanbareWashi 11-10-2016 01:57 PM

[QUOTE=GanbareWashi;13265120]

Referees wasting their vanishing spray annoys me :lux: [ /QUOTE]

art malice 11-10-2016 04:00 PM

Peter 'booming pain in the arse' Hook

Pub Idol 11-10-2016 04:10 PM

Parking in disabled bays with no badge.

gjohnk 11-10-2016 04:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fioreuk (Post 13264991)
Work meetings where attendees line up 1 or 2 mobiles, Pda, laptop etc in front of them, as if the more items they have reinforces their (self) importance.

:jerkit:

Then spend the time whilst you are talking fiddling with one or the other!

viking's no1 11-10-2016 04:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pub Idol (Post 13265294)
Parking in disabled bays with no badge.

Why, do you keep getting a ticket?

Terrace Bickle 11-10-2016 04:27 PM

****wits on scrambler motorcycles tearing round our local woods.

Baffled Bob 2 11-10-2016 04:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Terrace Bickle (Post 13265304)
****wits on scrambler motorcycles tearing round our local woods.

5 metres of wire + 2 trees = problem solved

Terrace Bickle 11-10-2016 06:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baffled Bob 2 (Post 13265312)
5 metres of wire + 2 trees = problem solved

Hopefully the fact that they don't wear helmets, to avoid the fuzz, will catch up with them.

Chris K 11-10-2016 06:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fioreuk (Post 13264991)
Work meetings where attendees line up 1 or 2 mobiles, Pda, laptop etc in front of them, as if the more items they have reinforces their (self) importance.

:jerkit:

Yeah we've got one of these. It was very amusing the other week when he had two lads down from IT Support complaining he couldn't pick up the office WiFi on it.

Well you self important lesbian twat if you used a pen and notepad like everyone else you wouldn't have this issue in the first place. Also rather than scrolling through emails maybe you should pay attention to the meeting at hand :jerkit:

Bipe 11-10-2016 07:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EagleSE24 (Post 13264951)
This is how it should be done https://gfycat.com/TautGlaringChihuahua


As Barry Davies once remarked - you have to say that's magnificent. What game is it?

Chocky 11-10-2016 07:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bipe (Post 13265497)
As Barry Davies once remarked - you have to say that's magnificent. What game is it?

Cor v San.

Jim Cannon 11-10-2016 10:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fioreuk (Post 13264991)
Work meetings where attendees line up 1 or 2 mobiles, Pda, laptop etc in front of them, as if the more items they have reinforces their (self) importance.

:jerkit:

These are the same twats that have ever increasingly large rucksacks with them at all times to take people out on tubes and trains.

JJ 11-10-2016 11:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EagleSE24 (Post 13264950)
A line ten yards from a ball should be circular.

Wouldn't be a line then, would it. :p

cranesparkeagle 11-10-2016 11:11 PM

Just seen a CO Op Fairtrade advert. It was horrible but you need to see it yourself to see what I mean. Glad I've eaten already

Andycol 11-10-2016 11:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JJ (Post 13266121)
Wouldn't be a line then, would it. :p

Yes it would, it just wouldn't be a straight line :cool:

Jim Cannon 11-10-2016 11:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Andycol (Post 13266142)
Yes it would, it just wouldn't be a straight line :cool:

Nope, that would a curved line. A line is straight:D

Stellavista 11-10-2016 11:20 PM

An actual adult, interviewed on the BBC confessing that he was 'really excited' to get his new phone and 'heartbroken' when it was recalled and production cancelled.
Have a word, you tit.

west country boy 11-10-2016 11:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stellavista (Post 13266155)
An actual adult, interviewed on the BBC confessing that he was 'really excited' to get his new phone and 'heartbroken' when it was recalled and production cancelled.
Have a word, you tit.

Was this David Campbell from the north of Ireland?

nash84 11-10-2016 11:23 PM

I hate that you can't bullshit anymore or pretend you are intelligent before some ******* tosspot pulls out their ******* iPhone ******* 5s large and finds the ******* facts on wiki ******* something....**** off you iPhone wanker...you didn't know the answer so just let me have my moment of glory!!!!

Other than that I am fine

Worksop Palace 11-10-2016 11:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nash84 (Post 13266159)
I hate that you can't bullshit anymore or pretend you are intelligent before some ******* tosspot pulls out their ******* iPhone ******* 5s large and finds the ******* facts on wiki ******* something....**** off you iPhone wanker...you didn't know the answer so just let me have my moment of glory!!!!

Other than that I am fine

Yep, obviously not getting to you that one is it


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