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-   -   Things that annoy you (https://www.cpfc.org/forums/showthread.php?t=255975)

Reps AJ 25-06-2016 09:32 PM

People who can't queue properly.

Surely, now that we've given up any European pretensions we can get back to being properly British. Orderly queue please

FORZA SELHURST 25-06-2016 09:41 PM

Schlange stehen!

art malice 26-06-2016 11:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skin Up (Post 13069676)
So in the event of an accident the emergency services know to look for a child that maybe trapped in the wreckage or flung out of the car.

Wouldn't the car seat be a clue though?

mroakley9 26-06-2016 11:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by art malice (Post 13071671)
Wouldn't the car seat be a clue though?

What if the car seat is in the car, but not the child? Then the emergency services are looking for a baby that isn't even there.

art malice 26-06-2016 11:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mroakley9 (Post 13071676)
What if the car seat is in the car, but not the child? Then the emergency services are looking for a baby that isn't even there.

Maybe a 'baby not on board' sticker for when he or she's at school?

art malice 26-06-2016 11:33 AM

Or a 'maybe on board'

Chocky 26-06-2016 04:26 PM

That's me on Dragon's Den. A baby on board sign with a slider so it can say 'not, don't worry about it rescue services'. Don't any of you bastards nick the idea until it's patented I know you snides.

Chocky 26-06-2016 04:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr Mojo Risin (Post 13069990)
Mark Lawrenson. The most miserable pundit of all time.

He is isnt he. Match commentary and in the studio everything is doom and gloom attitude.

chrisophiex 26-06-2016 05:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chocky (Post 13072391)
He is isnt he. Match commentary and in the studio everything is doom and gloom attitude.


Ridiculously camp too :D

PIE "N" MASH 26-06-2016 06:39 PM

Tell you what feckin annoyed me today.Purshaced a shower screen from B&Feckin Q,got it home and started to fix to then realise half of the fixing kit is FECKIN MISSING.You utter:jerkit::jerkit:
On the plus side,me new Milwauki drill is bloody awesome :D

ZanderCPFC 27-06-2016 12:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by civil eagle (Post 13069338)
Not knowing how to paste photos on here as I have a really funny squirrel one

We are all waiting now...

KYLIE MINEAGLE 27-06-2016 04:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chocky (Post 13072334)
That's me on Dragon's Den. A baby on board sign with a slider so it can say 'not, don't worry about it rescue services'. Don't any of you bastards nick the idea until it's patented I know you snides.

I'll go halves with you on this idea. What you suggested but with a double illuminated sign on/not on. Like outside of motels with vacancy/ no vacancy. Let me know when you have patented it and will pm bank details.

Pidster 27-06-2016 11:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KYLIE MINEAGLE (Post 13069686)
What if the baby was not in the car in the first place?

A comprehensive discourse.

Maz 27-06-2016 11:52 AM

:)

KYLIE MINEAGLE 27-06-2016 12:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pidster (Post 13074336)

So the bbs getting like all fashions. Everything comes back in a few years. Have they had the my family stickers in the UK. They are annoying.

cappuccinoeagle 27-06-2016 07:53 PM

David Mitchell doing a Barclaycard ad,what a sellout

pallet 27-06-2016 08:26 PM

Watching england

Stellavista 27-06-2016 08:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cappuccinoeagle (Post 13075380)
David Mitchell doing a Barclaycard ad,what a sellout

Selling out from his ultra-Marxist roots you mean?

cappuccinoeagle 27-06-2016 08:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stellavista (Post 13075595)
Selling out from his ultra-Marxist roots you mean?

He's always struck me as slightly left of centre,used to write a thoughtful semi political column in The Observer

cappuccinoeagle 27-06-2016 08:56 PM

Two ads - Liverpool FC & Head and Shoulders

FrankieBoy 27-06-2016 09:11 PM

Players that, when they believe they have been fouled, fall over and grab the ball before the whistle has blown. I'm looking at you in this case Sterling. Love it if there was no whistle and they got booked with a foul going the other way.

Chocky 27-06-2016 10:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pallet (Post 13075582)
Watching england

Just broken into Iceland in Fuengirola and unplugged all their freezers. That'll teach them to be better than a load of c*nts.

glenn.f 27-06-2016 11:02 PM

That useless **** on the radio advert trying to describe the offside rule....it's like your nan trying to explain it, no bloke would start with "the ball is kicked"

Oh and whining Norfolk crybabies bleating about a tiny bit of flood water almost reaching ankle level at its worst.....if your soakaway is full and its still raining what the **** can I do to sort it....we don't carry magic wands.

Wolfnipplechips 27-06-2016 11:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chocky (Post 13076764)
Just broken into Iceland in Fuengirola and unplugged all their freezers. That'll teach them to be better than a load of c*nts.

:D

Jerry Murphy's Fringe 28-06-2016 09:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FrankieBoy (Post 13075925)
Players that, when they believe they have been fouled, fall over and grab the ball before the whistle has blown. I'm looking at you in this case Sterling. Love it if there was no whistle and they got booked with a foul going the other way.

Every time I see a player do that it just compounds the sense of injustice I have for the free-kick awarded against John Lacy in the 83/84 season.
Everyone thought the referee had blown his whistle to indicate an offside decision, however, when the ball rolled back to our man Lacy he put his hand down to make it stationary prior to a, presumed, restart via an indirect free-kick
(pursuant to Law 11 - following an offside sanction). But no, the referee had made no such decision (or had forgotten that he had) and in fact sanctioned against Lacy for a deliberate handball with a direct free-kick against Palace!

It hurts, even now - it really hurts.

Chocky 28-06-2016 05:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chocky (Post 13056000)
Thierry Henry's f*cking big lipped French bastard c*nting face on my TV on Sky adverts on Sky pundit now on normal TV every pissing five minutes.

F*ck off you ****** French c*nt.

He's on some other bloody advert now as well in a lift. Pundit on BBC for the Italy game, TV turned over for ITV England game and there he is again. F*CK OFF.

I bet he's on the BBS as well the wank stained pissflap.

Worksop Palace 29-06-2016 08:29 PM

It's the BBC yet again

Barry Davis commentating at Wimbledon. I mean ffs

RobertCPFC 29-06-2016 09:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Worksop Palace (Post 13081413)
It's the BBC yet again

Barry Davis commentating at Wimbledon. I mean ffs

The one I don't like is Andrew Castle. On Monday he started talking about someones washing machine being deliver 30 minutes early.

Wolfnipplechips 29-06-2016 09:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RobertCPFC (Post 13081605)
The one I don't like is Andrew Castle. On Monday he started talking about someones washing machine being deliver 30 minutes early.

I was unfortunate enough to sit opposite him for dinner once.

You're instincts are spot on. He's a right cock.:p

Wolfnipplechips 29-06-2016 09:51 PM

Headphones.

WLYWLYAWYPWF 30-06-2016 06:06 PM

Saucepan lid handles that conduct heat. What c*nt designed those?

Typed with non burnt hand on my windows phone.

Chocky 30-06-2016 06:23 PM

My pan handle conducts immense heat.

adrenalin john 30-06-2016 06:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chocky (Post 13083428)
My pan handle conducts immense heat.

Is that a Florida panhandle?

Panhandlers are often frowned upon in fairness, although I always try to give

Chocky 30-06-2016 06:39 PM

No it's a pan handle that sometimes turns into a pork sword.

adrenalin john 30-06-2016 06:47 PM

Off the frying pan and into the oven it goes then

nicknackpalace 30-06-2016 07:10 PM

"narrative"

cappuccinoeagle 30-06-2016 07:57 PM

Cameron,Farage,Hodgson,Boris Johnson,hate em all.
Gareth Bale interviews,snooze,let your feet do the talking,Gareth.
BT wasting money on Alex Baldwin ads,is anybody gonna switch cos an American actor does an ad?
And of course,Christiano Ronaldo

cappuccinoeagle 30-06-2016 08:41 PM

Forgot to mention Corbyn,a showroom dummy would be better.
Plus Nani & Pepe

Chocky 30-06-2016 08:50 PM

On the theme of 'Can I get', just heard someone having walked to the bar say "I'm going to get a pint of lager and a Malibu and Coke". Rudeness combined with shit speak c*nt.

cappuccinoeagle 30-06-2016 09:00 PM

Lionel Messi,choker

Wolfnipplechips 30-06-2016 09:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chocky (Post 13083738)
On the theme of 'Can I get', just heard someone having walked to the bar say "I'm going to get a pint of lager and a Malibu and Coke". Rudeness combined with shit speak c*nt.

Help yourself then ****.

Only don't step behind my bar or I'll have to hit you with my Doberman.

elgin eagle 30-06-2016 09:33 PM

Andy Townsend.

bubbs11 30-06-2016 09:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RobertCPFC (Post 13081605)
The one I don't like is Andrew Castle. On Monday he started talking about someones washing machine being deliver 30 minutes early.

I hate this man with a passion. Such a knob. What's worse is he totally ruins the theatre of tennis matches with his amateurish commentary. Why has no one at the BBC realised this?!?

elgin eagle 30-06-2016 09:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bubbs11 (Post 13083831)
I hate this man with a passion. Such a knob. What's worse is he totally ruins the theatre of tennis matches with his amateurish commentary. Why has no one at the BBC realised this?!?

Imagine townsend doing tennis though with his monosyllabic commentary. 'Good serve there'. 'Murray needs to up his game'. 'Slight deflection on that serve etc etc'.

CT_Palace 30-06-2016 11:00 PM

that ball-less squeaky screaming Icelandic commentator.

art malice 01-07-2016 01:18 AM

Mediafied Matt le Tissier talking about the new Southampton manager 'taking the club forward'.

Seriously what the FFS

PhuketEagle 01-07-2016 11:56 AM

Michael Gove with his flabby jowls, Eric Morecambe glasses & whiny voice. Like a fly round a piece of sh*t you want to swat but be careful of swatting the sh*t too.
Driving me crazy already

catty 01-07-2016 12:06 PM

The girls I work with have just had a debate about which century the second world war was in. Stupid people annoy me.

pallet 01-07-2016 12:23 PM

People who fly up behind police cars and ambulances so when you pull over and then try to move back over near drive into your boot.

mroakley9 01-07-2016 01:39 PM

There's no sausage sizzles at any of the election booths near me tomorrow :(

CT_Palace 01-07-2016 01:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mroakley9 (Post 13085083)
There's no sausage sizzles at any of the election booths near me tomorrow :(

:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

Terrace Bickle 01-07-2016 01:42 PM

The way that some young women, I've only heard them do it, drag out the last syllable of the last sentence they say.

It like they have to emphasise it to check people are still listening and haven't topped themselves.

Jerry Murphy's Fringe 01-07-2016 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RobertCPFC (Post 13081605)
The one I don't like is Andrew Castle. On Monday he started talking about someones washing machine being deliver 30 minutes early.

Yes, he is an unctuous buffoon.

Nigel_Scarfer 01-07-2016 01:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RobertCPFC (Post 13081605)
The one I don't like is Andrew Castle. On Monday he started talking about someones washing machine being deliver 30 minutes early.

He was absolutely spot on with his comments about Marcus whatever's girlfriend though - "I wish my dentist looked like that!"

elgin eagle 01-07-2016 02:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by catty (Post 13084829)
The girls I work with have just had a debate about which century the second world war was in. Stupid people annoy me.

Excellent, what were the differences of opinion? :D

People who throw your scraps of paper with important information on away.

strawberry mivi 01-07-2016 03:27 PM

Moving desks at work again.
This time, there are no light bulbs overhead - it feels like I'm sitting in a cave.
Tossers, bloody 'hot-desk' wankers.

mroakley9 02-07-2016 06:33 AM

The fact that in a few hours this man may very well be Australia's next PM. The cunt can't even eat a sausage properly, how is he supposed to lead a ******* country?

http://www.smh.com.au/content/dam/im...7431631526.jpg

oz_da II 02-07-2016 06:42 AM

At least it isn't this creep anymore.

http://resources1.news.com.au/images...ony-abbott.jpg

They are all a bunch of f'wits. Each party waiting for the other to **** up so they can have their turn "in charge". Rarely anything innovative to make significant changes. It's a game of musical chairs on the Titanic.

Oddjob 02-07-2016 07:09 AM

The over celebrating of goals in Euro 2016, it's now obligatory to include all squad members, back room staff, players wives and more

Worksop Palace 02-07-2016 08:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mroakley9 (Post 13087001)
The fact that in a few hours this man may very well be Australia's next PM. The cunt can't even eat a sausage properly, how is he supposed to lead a ******* country?

http://www.smh.com.au/content/dam/im...7431631526.jpg

Johnny McEnroe is going to be the next Aussie PM ?

Bloody hell

Worksop Palace 02-07-2016 08:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nigel_Scarfer (Post 13085116)
He was absolutely spot on with his comments about Marcus whatever's girlfriend though - "I wish my dentist looked like that!"

I'd have gone for the mother. Massive bangers

As you were

chrisophiex 02-07-2016 09:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Worksop Palace (Post 13087066)
Johnny McEnroe is going to be the next Aussie PM ?

Bloody hell


More Frank Skinner than McEnroe :)

eagle-leg 02-07-2016 09:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Worksop Palace (Post 13087066)
Johnny McEnroe is going to be the next Aussie PM ?

Bloody hell

You cannot be serious.

Zulu84 02-07-2016 10:45 AM

Drivers that aggressively pull out in front of you, forcing you to slam on the brakes and then proceed to drive 5mph under the speed limit. :veryangry

chrisophiex 02-07-2016 11:02 AM

Sky's clamour for Zlatan

#stickitupyerarse

PMSL 02-07-2016 11:14 AM

Adele

KYLIE MINEAGLE 02-07-2016 11:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by oz_da II (Post 13087005)
At least it isn't this creep anymore.

http://resources1.news.com.au/images...ony-abbott.jpg

They are all a bunch of f'wits. Each party waiting for the other to **** up so they can have their turn "in charge". Rarely anything innovative to make significant changes. It's a game of musical chairs on the Titanic.

I am going to do a Biggineagle here. Yep

mroakley9 02-07-2016 11:47 AM

The fact that the seat of Batman in Australia is not pronounced as Batman but rather as Bat-min

Vendy 02-07-2016 11:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oddjob (Post 13087017)
The over celebrating of goals in Euro 2016, it's now obligatory to include all squad members, back room staff, players wives and more

Started by those sheep shagging welsh.

Thought it was funny last night, Coleman thought the incoming William was going to hit him first

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/...7402234234.jpg

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/content/d...IB4HAWdEJE.jpg

http://ichef.bbci.co.uk/onesport/cps...v033837544.jpg

catty 02-07-2016 12:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elgin eagle (Post 13085136)
Excellent, what were the differences of opinion? :D



People who throw your scraps of paper with important information on away.


19th because it had a 19 in it didn't it? 18th because isn't it 18 for 19? Etc etc

CT_Palace 02-07-2016 01:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by oz_da II (Post 13087005)

They are all a bunch of f'wits. Each party waiting for the other to **** up so they can have their turn "in charge". Rarely anything innovative to make significant changes. It's a game of musical chairs on the Titanic.

If there's one country on earth that can challenge the UK for political ****wittery it's Australia and no mistake.

Mr Mojo Risin 02-07-2016 03:12 PM

The slogan Keep Calm and Carry On. Represents a twee Britain of Daily Mail fantasy that never actually existed in the first place.

Worksop Palace 02-07-2016 03:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by catty (Post 13087384)
19th because it had a 19 in it didn't it? 18th because isn't it 18 for 19? Etc etc

Bloody hell. Do you work in class 3 ?

elgin eagle 02-07-2016 03:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by catty (Post 13087384)
19th because it had a 19 in it didn't it? 18th because isn't it 18 for 19? Etc etc

That sounds like a real facepalm conversation.

WLYWLYAWYPWF 02-07-2016 04:28 PM

Super slow mo showing anything other than the sporting action itself. Why the feck would anyone want to see some old tart clapping in the crowds bingo wings flapping around whilst I'm watching Wimbledon?!

Chocky 02-07-2016 04:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WLYWLYAWYPWF (Post 13087800)
Super slow mo showing anything other than the sporting action itself. Why the feck would anyone want to see some old tart clapping in the crowds bingo wings flapping around whilst I'm watching Wimbledon?!

Took me ages to clean the screen.

Worksop Palace 02-07-2016 04:44 PM

The slow hand clap during a players challenge at Wimbledon

Grow the **** up you quarterwits

Nork1 02-07-2016 05:26 PM

Overuse of the words 'legend' and 'genius'.

chrisophiex 02-07-2016 05:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WLYWLYAWYPWF (Post 13087800)
Super slow mo showing anything other than the sporting action itself. Why the feck would anyone want to see some old tart clapping in the crowds bingo wings flapping around whilst I'm watching Wimbledon?!


Ha. Bingowings.

You legend.

art malice 02-07-2016 06:14 PM

Sudden influx of the word 'narrative'. Kin fvck the fvck off

Far East Eagle 02-07-2016 06:18 PM

'reach out', 'social media', 'Je suis...', 'mansplaining', 'unelectable', 'mandate', 'super'

danpalace07 02-07-2016 06:24 PM

Chris Coleman love-in. He's shite.

nickgusset 02-07-2016 06:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by art malice (Post 13087961)
Sudden influx of the word 'narrative'. Kin fvck the fvck off

The use of roman numerals to get found swear filters can fuck off.

Jim Cannon 02-07-2016 06:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nork1 (Post 13087882)
Overuse of the words 'legend' and 'genius'.

add world class to that.

Jim Cannon 02-07-2016 06:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by danpalace07 (Post 13087973)
Chris Coleman love-in. He's shite.

When he is done with Wales he better not end up here

Chocky 02-07-2016 06:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elgin eagle (Post 13083825)
Andy Townsend.

Always the same with some fans. He hasn't even kicked a ball for us yet but moan moan moan.

chrisophiex 02-07-2016 06:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chocky (Post 13088003)
Always the same with some fans. He hasn't even kicked a ball for us yet but moan moan moan.

Exactly. And he's not even Irish.

westsussexeagle 02-07-2016 07:35 PM

People who put up signs saying 'No turning' in their driveway. Sorry but that's just a license to use their driveway to turn your car around even if it means driving back up the road and turning around again (preferably in another self styled 'no turning' zone.)

elgin eagle 02-07-2016 07:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chocky (Post 13088003)
Always the same with some fans. He hasn't even kicked a ball for us yet but moan moan moan.

:)

Someone at work said 'i see you have signed Andy Townsend'. I had to set him straight on that pretty sharpish.

Being shit at super mario and coming last to a load of kids. Have challenged them to a train race, double or quits.

CT_Palace 02-07-2016 08:54 PM

American pronunciation of entertainment. Ennertainment. Grrrrrr.

chrisophiex 02-07-2016 09:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CT_Palace (Post 13088245)
American pronunciation of entertainment. Ennertainment. Grrrrrr.


Innernet

in-exile 02-07-2016 09:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by danpalace07 (Post 13087973)
Chris Coleman love-in. He's shite.

Pisses all over our nob out manager that didn't have the balls to start the Punch in a final....

CT_Palace 02-07-2016 09:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chrisophiex (Post 13088255)
Innernet

There's a paper towel over here called Bounty. Advertised as Bouny (grrrr). You'd think for an ad they would make an effort to say the product's name properly.

cappuccinoeagle 02-07-2016 09:12 PM

Absolutely Fabulous - terrible series,over the top,overacted,overrated,and now they've made a film

Chocky 02-07-2016 09:30 PM

Watching the Germany v Italy game and hearing the CPFC song all the way through and not being able to stop singing it either out loud or in my head.

Jim Cannon 03-07-2016 12:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CT_Palace (Post 13088245)
American pronunciation of entertainment. Ennertainment. Grrrrrr.

Aloominum

Rowte

CT_Palace 03-07-2016 12:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jim Cannon (Post 13088706)
Aloominum

Rowte

Aluminum I can forgive seeing as they spell it that way (still wrong mind). Route though, you have a point. I guess the real bug bear regarding Ennertainment and innernet is that it's not a dialect thing, its actually the way EVERYONE says it, there's just no attempt at all to say the word as it's spelled. Mind you, this is a nation where a decent proportion of the population read ask as aks, so I shouldn't be surprised.

ceeby 03-07-2016 08:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chrisophiex (Post 13088255)
Innernet

Bunch of Cuns

Jerry Murphy's Fringe 03-07-2016 08:47 AM

Edith Bowman

elgin eagle 03-07-2016 08:49 AM

Strong bowman.

Hangovers in general.


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