You can take the boy out of Maidstone, but you can't take Maidstone out of the boy... Just saying.

I don’t know what you’re suggesting.

Racist.

There are a couple of Curb episodes related to exactly that kind of parking validation scheme.

What is this "Curb" you speak of?

Curb Your Enthusiasm.

If you've not seen it you have missed out big time.

Watch and enjoy :lux:

Ah... yes.

I have heard good things about it... I might be a bit late to the party! :rolleyes:

.

Have you replaced Piddles as Maz's sidekick?

Was there an interview process?

Or with the absence of SC, was it like Palace when Nuno suddenly became available?

I see you two as the two big black blokes in the holding cell in Trading Places...Maz doing all the talking, and you chipping in with 'Yeah'.

People (usually of advanced years) who treat a trip to the tip as a day out.
They either have one carrier bag of newspapers (which they take out one at a time to dispose of them), or a car full of odds and sods that they decide to sort out once there at the tip, spending a ridiculous amount of time taking individual items to the same bin.

Bang on there, and they look at what they've chucked in the skip for about ten seconds afterwards.

What on earth are you on about you lecherous sot? I was defending you.

With Peter, attack is generally the best form of defence.

"defense"

Americans chants at sporting games.
Nothing more cringy.

I feel exactly the same and am equally disappointed in myself. A couple of thoughts suggest themselves as possible factors...

Are we a little like a battered spouse? Beaten into silent despondency by so many experiences of hurt. (I'm sure this is an inappropriate simile but I mean no harm. I know that's no sort of excuse but it's all I have.)

Are we done in by the Hodgson years? I LOVE Roy like a favourite (peculiarly much older than me) child and think he did a superb job asked of him, but by god it was tedious. I HATED the Francis and Taylor eras and even early Freedman could be trying, andyou'd have to put the Hodgson era in the same bracket, but for the 'success' (which obviously DOES separate it.) So could it be that having to endure a similarly - if not identically - workmanlike and unadventurous style with England (who could be so much more dynamic and daring) is too much? I'm absolutely gasping for a bit of daring and derring-do and can't see any of the buggers anywhere. It's all sucking the life out of me.

Plus most of the most visible England fans simply are unquestionably dicks.

Defence.

Endless posts about people mis-spelling VieIra.

(Well, they don't. But they will.)

D-Fens

There is an L in it?

A poor attempt at imitating an accredited BBC comedy writer.

that's a flat joke, drained even

In keeping with the songs on the other thread.

No L,
No L,
No L,
No L,
Born is the king,
Of the Ho-olmes-da-ell.

(It would require the crowd all to have read this thread, but I have great confidence.)

He is French though, what's the Vera line, veal meat again, don't know Ware do know Whenger?

Shall we just refer to him as Patrique instead, less tricky?

Paddy Viera has a nice ring.

Is that a suggestion for a chant?

Ooh er missus,

Still receiving emails when you have unsubscribed from them. Wankers.

:D

I would agree with this one...

They sometimes say something like, "This may take 14 days to come into effect" (I paraphrase). Never understand this, surely it is like a light switch, and you unsubscribing should be instant.

It's a bit like banking transactions done on their websites that require "5 business days" to transact. Do computers take the weekend off too?

Very good !

Indeed. I am so used to our back and forthing, I couldn't see it.

My apologies.

I can't argue with that. Well, 'accredited', maybe.

I think our mutual friend was more Alan Partridge than Steve Coogan. Perhaps another example of Ricky Gervais actually being David Brent.

I have perhaps the number classic today.

In the absence of the missus I am tasked with several household instructions. A job list, if you like, for me to get done among the football, BBS, and other wastes of time.

The principal task is doing some sanding on the outside of the house. I have the sander, but are the sanding discs where they should be in the tool cupboard? I now have to second guess exactly where the wife has decided is the appropriate place to store them.

Or in the pause between games rush down to ironmongers, which will probably be quicker.


Another of my tasks, not on the job list, is to sort all this storage out, and perhaps put some brightly coloured 'THIS GOES HERE' instructions up.

Question is, is the sarcasm worth the later grief, or do I just suck it up.

Your wife's away? Well, that explains a lot.

Just don't do what a friend of mine did around the time of the last World Cup. His missus(who's affectionately known as the War Office) was going away on a three day work trip. Of course she left him with a honey-do list that consisted of chipping some old stucco off of the side wall, re-plastering it and later on in the summer they were going to paint it.
Being a lazy git and also a bit of a conniver he decides to go and pick up a day labourer to do the chores. He sets the guy up on a ladder and then he goes indoors, pumps up the A.C, cracks open a cold one and gets comfy on the couch to watch the football and congratulate himself on all the credit and brownie points he was going to build up.
As he said himself the fellow was only up the ladder a couple of minutes when he heard a bang. The day labourer had dropped the hammer and it had hit the windscreen of his wifes jeep that was parked in the driveway. The little amigo legged it in panic never to be seen again.
He ended up doing the job himself and explaining to his wife that he had accidentally broken her windscreen.

I know you are busy with your excellent sessions, but I clearly warned everyone on here. I was trumping my own blower. :p

I love that story. It's like Stubbs vs O'Reilly.

As a continuation of mine...

I missed most of the first half of Belgium/Italy to go to the ironmonger's.

They didn't have any sander discs of that size. Although they sold me the sander, and contine to sell the sander. They have a particularly depressing record of not having stuff. I get that during this pandemic a lot of people are doing projects and things go out of stock - but whoever is the stock manager pleb there must be on job experience.

I just looked at the sales assistant with what must have been a gormless, dumbfounded face. I can't believe I was stunned considering that's the third consecutive time they haven't had what I needed.

Anyhoo..

I found the discs. In a box we use for extra cutlery. Obvious really. Logical.

Growing in annoyance... the Tapatalk App.

When I first started using it to access the BBS it was good, no problems. But it seems to be adding adverts exponentially... the problem is as I try to swipe up or down it seems to connect to one of the ads and open on their website if I'm not careful.

Now trying to be super careful to stop this happening, but easy to accidentally open the ads site.

Bloody annoying I would say.

Easy to uninstall.

Yes, but there is no alternative if you want a BBS App on your phone at this time...

I just open the BBS up via the internet on my phone.

I do my hardcore posting via the laptop.

Phones really aren't the gamechangers for certain things. I have rarely seen a game that translates to a phone - at least one that isn't trying to empty your wallet every 5 minutes.

Phone calls, wassup and photos/videos - all the other stuff is noncense.

Why have an app that frustrates. That's like all the Apple Fan BoyZ.

cpfc.org via the internet on the phone is an eye test!

The old cpfc.org App did not have ads and was bespoke for us - I appreciate its replacement is under construction by the good folks who work tirelessly in the back ground on here, and the Tapatalk option is a commercial Band Aid until the new App comes on line.

Still annoying though!

Have you got one of those OAP phones yet?

Just in case of the wild fires, Yellowstone or San Andres Fault kick off.

You wouldn't want your eyesight, stubby carpenter fingers or cheque/check book confusion to let you down.

You're million dollar healthcare plan that kept you working past your prime won't help you out if your stubby finger fingers and cataracts can't make out the small numbers in an emergency.

More Baileys...

You forgot the hearing aids... and the arthritic thumbs. :p

Can you drink Baileys straight? Always had it in coffee. Thinking about it, I recall my Mum used to have a small glass of Baileys now and again.

Think of the most illogical place for sanding discs in your house and that’s where she will have stored them.
Ah, just saw your later post.

Do men ever set woman tasks at home?

Asking that is rather like asking a man which sanpro priducts he prefers.

Does anyone actually say "sanpro" rather than the correct terms of jamrags and c~ntmice? Is sanpro products a tautology? What are sanpro priducts?

So many questions.

You need to brush up on your marcomms lingo.

Is that like a breakaway Mumsnet splinter group?

If they did it’d be put on Twitter and within hours they’d be in hiding

Adfolk, I guess, where it is a category. Apologies.

I have it over ice.


My daughter asked if I considered having the operation for shortsightedness.

My brother had it done a good few years back. I am a bit squeemish about it.

Try it mixed with Amaretto.

The singing of the don't take me home song when the game is all about going home to Wembley and its coming home. Make your mind up

I have always been fairly relaxed about any sort of medical operation as thankfully for some reason I am able to default to my childhood ‘trust doctors and policemen who all are wonderful and can do no wrong’ when it comes to myself. Bit more concerned when it’s another family member. It’s probably been a help for the most part. When it comes to the eyes I have to say I am in the super squeamish category with anything involving sharp metal or lasers. It’s the one op I find hard to watch in documentaries.

A guy I worked with had the ‘simple’ laser correction of his short sightedness done and was never the same afterwards. For whatever reason his vision was blurred and he had to return several times for follow up corrections. Worse was that although he got rid of the glasses he instead acquired a weird mannerism of rolling his eyes around as if trying to refocus tired eyes, every minute or so which was beyond weird when talking to him. Daft thing is that his glasses had suited him. Can’t believe his case was typical but he is the only person I have known at the time of their op so it doesn’t help. Pretty sure it’s safe really but that’s a rational comment massively outweighed by the emotional response.

Sis in law has a cataract op soon and I am cringing at the thought. Sadly she has quite severe dimentia and I have no idea how that will work out as I am told she has to be awake for this. Expecting a train wreck tbh.

I've a friend who has the laser treatment but after 8 years her eyes just went back to the level.of vision she had before.

Well as residents of England had their tickets cancelled our support was made up solely of expats. If anything they're being smug about what they've ended up doing with their lives

Debbie McGee

Heard a few people say that. knew a fella who was a top class, pub level, dart thrower. After the op he was never the same player again. The procedure had worked but he sort of lost his perception of distance.

Had laser surgery a few years ago and without doubt one off the best things I have done

Had laser eye surgery in 2011.
Diagnosed with glaucoma in 2019, no idea if the two are connected.
Also, I lost my wonderful close-up vision and my distance vision has now returned back almost to pre-laser levels.
On reflection perhaps not a killer medical procedure.

"England reach first Euro Semi for 25 years"
It's first time in six holdings of tournament though, isn't it? They haven't had 25 consecutive years to reach the milestone.
Sports journos are always doing this, cricket, rugby etc, just lazily counting the years rather than the span of tournaments or an established gap between teams actually playing each other (The Ashes & Lions tours as examples)

As previously posted on here somewhere, I had the laser surgery on both eyes probably 20 years ago now and was very happy with the results. Minor halos or star burst when driving at night, but nothing I couldn't get used to.

Then about 10 years in I developed a cataract in my right eye (no connection to the laser surgery I was assured), so basically had that fixed which voided the laser fix. Again no issues other than having the laser surgery does limit the type of lenses they can use to replace the cataract. About 5 years back I had the left eye done. Not so happy with that one, but got used to it now. It's only really good for very long distances...anything under 10 feet is blurred, right eye is multi focus and is good for short and long distance. Doc didn't want to put one of those lenses in my left eye due to having laser done... previous doc was OK doing it, and doesn't seem to be an issue.

Why?

Maybe he thought this was the guilty fancy thread?

http://thumb-p1.xhcdn.com/a/Q7TvdP9d...90/711_450.jpg

Thanks for the eye laser stories chaps.

I won't be getting it done.

It's a valid question. The initial responder was clearly courting elaboration enquiries.

Barclaycard credit card payment reminders trying to sound casual/street/cool whatever by finishing with "already paid, nice one".

What's next "Hey dude, like it would be totally chill if you could send some cash". Have a bit more formality, you're a bank not a pot smoking 35 year old skateboarder

was watching the golf last night and it went to a play off...."if Troy Merritt wins this play off, he'll become the first player to do so after shooting an ace in regulation since....2020" - so not that long ago at all really.

You did it on yourself?!

People who don't understand that special offers/deals are within the terms described. If you don't like/eat something on that pizza, you might have to pay extra for more expensive alternatives.

Its not the staff's fault.

The now put to bed the manager saga thread

Even pineapple?

The BBC referring to today's tennis schedule as 'Manic Monday' isa new depth of overhyped twattishness on their part.

You could say that it was a bit shite using it for last Monday's football. But some arsehole, somewhere, having the feckin stupendous idea to copy it....

It is related to all forms of crap in society, from bland football commentators to politicians with three word slogans. Dumbing down.

Might has well let school kids finish at 14, and give them a free university certificate at 16, so they are qualified to work 8hr shifts at Amazon and Starbucks before tuning into 8hrs of TV, music, social media pap etc.. Fahreneit 451 coming to pass.

Welcome to the Idiocracy

Sounds like you are having a manic Monday Peter...

Hang over.

Hang over

Say it 3 times in the mirror and it goes away?

Lets try.....


Hangover.......

Nope, he's still here.

Long Lost Family, I'm blubbing. Knew I shouldn't have watched.

This weather. It’s July ffs.

Damn

I know what you mean. Nicky Campbell on his own is bad enough, but put him in a room with Davina McCall and even the most gentle of souls is praying for the End of Days.

But, amazingly, not on this page so far

Hand wringing over when the Vieira interview is going to come out.

I just find her extremely irritating. Like James Corden.

yep - seen one, seem them all. "I've spent 43 years not knowing where you were, and yet ITV have found you in a fortnight with Nicky Campbell doing a couple of Google searches".

Probably having a kip.

https://i.imgflip.com/m01y9.jpg?a451368

I believe that is one word.

Otherwise it is a phrasal verb. As in - since Maidstoned started to eat packed lunches he has lost his beer gut. His flab doesn't hang over his jeans anymore, and he can even make out his tiny excuse of a penis in a good light.

On balance of probabilities - is that picture more likely to have been me and CT getting together, or the Southern Spanish brigade on one of their legendary sessions. Remember we have all read the stories.

Unless you have all gone soft.

Anyhoo - more of a past annoyance - and please feel free to ignore, agree, or snipe as your personality allows...

People who bend the rules or seem to have their own set of rules for well-established board games. Maybe, I am no fun or a touch competitive, but there are a clear set of rules for the likes of Monopoly and Scrabble, as far as I am aware.

Scrabble.

There is a list of allowable two letter words - that doesn't mean you can refer to it.

I believe that the protocol for all words is that you choose to play a word, and your opponent then has the option to challenge it via the use of a dictionary. I also believe an extension of this is that the player should be able to define the word.

What I have seen a lot of, is people checking the dictionaries for acceptable words before playing them. And then annoyingly looking smug.

I once played a game while travelling. Towards the end three or four people joined my opponent at the end and started searching through the dictionary for solutions. Needless to say, I was beaten by a couple of points. Needless to say, I had to put up with the celebrating and accept my defeat with good grace. I certainly couldn't call the amateurs - cheaters.


Another bugbear is different rules for classic games that exist in different cultures. In Chile, there seems odd rues for both pool and for draughts. In pool they line up the balls alongside the cushions. In draughts they take pieces along the length of the board in diagonals - the pieces don't next to be next to each other. Has anyone else seen this?

I have to bite on this.

I think my main detractors on this posting issue all have more posts than me.

Your good self has managed double my output over the years. Maz, for example, has tripled mine.

What are your excuses?

Quality over quantity is impossible to justify, just by the very nature of the BBS.

Who is who though?

Having to watch a penalty shoot out on TV from the overhead camera….

Was about to put the very same thing.