It's weird, I was just wondering whether to stop throwing away my shoes and servants when they become dirty and buying new ones, and start to economize by getting them cleaned.

Maybe it's something I'll look into when I return from my private island

I have my own Clarkes shoe shop on my island you c*nts. Complete with that mental mechanical foot measuring contraption they had in the 70s and all that. Lording it.

Bastard

My shoes never need cleaning.

I only wear them once.

Same for me with my Yachts

How do you wear your yachts ?

Boat shoes.

Well I had taste the difference lincolnshire sausages for my dinner whilst posting today so youse lot can all **** off.

Geordies clogging up #cpfc with their bitterness. Get over it you weird Northern mugs. You've got a new manager and Fat Mike has got his wallet out, why are you still obsessed with little old Palace? I went on their forum the other day (I like reading other teams' forums) and they had an over 900 page thread on Pards. Even the Tarquins aren't this obsessed...

When you order carppets the compamies estimate the underlay as the same meterage when clearly the underlay will be less due to it being more easily cut to fit as it's unseen .

Have you seen the Bostock thread?


www.mactochampionships.com The home of the combative elite

Think you'll find that palace fans also have their obsessions.

I guess I get annoyed by the notion that we are superior human beings because of the football team we support.

Same here. I'm just a superior human being, regardless of the team I support.


www.mactochampionships.com The home of the combative elite

Yacht telesales people disturbing the servants servants servants.

Also having to go to work and missing the end of the Palace match.

The obvious one is a good shout. Missing any Palace game.

Those saturday afternoons feigning interest in some godforsaken ladies section of some shopping centre, or the unavoidable family occasions. Sometimes people are so inconsiderate.

Not to that level, we don't.

Isn't that pretty much the basis of all football support -pride?

I don't. But they never need cleaning as I only use them once

NAh.

Pride in the team, yes.

But for most of us, we didn't choose the team, it chose us. So why should we be better than any other football supporter, as people?

That road sign in Streatham near Tooting Common which says 'Adverse camber'

Having tickets for tonight's T20 at The Oval......and it's hosing down.

Because Chelsea fans are all c*nts Maz.

Smint containers. F*cking F*CK OFF!!

The Craig Charles Funk and Soul Show on 6music.

What? You is mental.

Seriously though, if you have the chance to see him DJing live he's really good.

It's his 'schtick' I can't abide. Music's OK.

These terms:

YB7
Jedi
Evil Sash
Bolaise
"No re-sale value"
Palace family
Best supporters in the world

Also;

Anybody that types out a 3-2-1-3-1-1 formation on a thread as if we are all meant to believe that this suggestion will reach Alan Pardew's desk on Monday morning and he'll consider using it in our upcoming game against Chelsea.

trying to remember a zillion passwords, codes and secret questions

This. Then when you think of a password that you might just remember, they tell you that you can't use it because there aren't enough/too many characters in it and you need a number/punctuation mark. :veryangry

You could've just typed Glaziers Fan and saved yourself some time.

Take a look at this -might be the answer to your problem.

https://keepass2android.codeplex.com/

Briefly, it securely stores all your passwords in the one place that only requires you to remember the one to access it.

'Please enter the tenth, fifteenth and twenty seventh character of your password'.:veryangry

that ******* ref today

When you forget your password so try to change it before being informed your new password can't be one of your last 5 passwords.

Train from Manchester to London. Four of us, two teenagers and two parents. Guy sat by himself at a table for four. An empty two seats across the aisle. Yup, I sat across the aisle. Surely basic manners to at least offer to move?

What I hate is women on crowded trains who proceed to put their shopping on the empty seat next to them hoping no one will ask them to move it.

Or buses

The fact that there is a poster on here seems to be 'stalking' me - randomly and regularly sending neg rep for no fathomable reason. No idea why, but regular as clockwork I get a neg from him. And there seems to be nothing I can do about it. Childish and infuriating!

Heb, Mole or biggin?

Nah, someone else. Must have done something to upset him, but no idea what. Obviously watching me, as whenever it has been long enough to leave rep after the previous occasion, he negs me again. Clearly a hate crusade, but I'm far too dull to warrant that level of contempt!

Just put them on ignore, it renders their rep worthless.

Hello Fresh - one of the most stupid concepts ever and yet it seems to be making someone some money.

:D I disagreed with your post. No need to get your knickers in a twist. I have used the rep system fairly.

The fact that Starbucks are opening a branch in Beckenham High St

He he. The posts you have negged are completely innocuous. Most people only neg posts that are offensive, not just because they happen to disagree. The fact that you have found this one shows that you are tracking me. Really sad.

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you. :angel:

Done the ignore thing - mod advice was the same.

Never done it before ... feel like a kid with a new toy! :p

Gluten free Nazis.

Stephen Mulhearn. I want to smash the radio every time I hear his voice (but the kids insist on f***ing Heart FM)!

Heart FM is listened to by spurned fat women who enjoy wearing pink at weekend charity events and require radio that's sexually unthreatening and has male DJs that are immasculated and speak with lisps.

Chip Chapman

Cars with tinted front window.

It's amazing how subconsciously you make eye contact with people at junctions, and how unnerving when you cannot do this.

Here anyway it is supposed to be illegal, but people do it anyway... how can places do it knowing it is illegal? The police apparently have to have cause to stop you before telling you to remove it. They cannot stop you specifically for having tinted front windows.

Booking a days holiday on a Monday and waking up at 6am and not being able to get back to sleep....

Bummer.

Mind you I'm retired and I'm still up and about at 6am-ish most days.

Retired at 55....

Jammy barstool !

He must have worked as a banker or in local government 😉

Ordering stuff online, getting to the checkout then finding they haven't added VAT. Why?? I could understand if the site sells good overseas but if they're ONLY selling within the UK what is the ******* point? It's not as if they give you an option not to pay it.

I quit 5 days before my birthday so that I could say I retired at 54. :)

Sounds like buying stuff in America, which is always 25% more expensive than you thought because they display prices without the myriad local and state taxes and whatnot added on. It's very irritating.

...and add to that 'trade only' sites. All so secretive, **** you, stop wasting our time, you're not part of the exclusive 'trade' club so we won't even consider give you a price now go away. For ****s sake I'm not asking to take a ******* Bugatti for a test drive, I'm trying to buy some ******* doors. *****.

Maybe he's Greek.

Operation Stack.

Johnny Vaughan.

Crap radio presenter, always cutting across what is being said because he is so desperate to furnish us with yet another one of his witticisms.

People who adhere to 20 mph speed zones outside schools at 9PM at night, by going 15 mph.

Do they not realise the fixed 20 mph signs are because the council cannot afford the electronic/flashing signs that allow for variable speed limits in the area.

The worst of these are those who take such pride in proving what careful and law abiding drivers they are, but apparently have no knowledge that their cars are fitted with indicators.

Appalling geezer. Why is he given air time?

Job interview questions such as these from Google:

How many petrol stations are there in the US?

Design an evacuation plan for San Francisco.

How many times a day does a clock’s hands overlap?

Why are manhole covers round?

How many degrees are there in the angle between the hour and minute hands of a clock when the time is a quarter past three?

You’re the captain of a pirate ship, and your crew gets to vote on how the gold is divided up. If fewer than half of the pirates agree with you, you die. How do you recommend apportioning the gold in such a way that you get a good share of the booty, but still survive?

How many piano tuners are there in the entire world?

I fear I could never get a job at Google as my answers would be either "wibble" or "who gives a sh*t?"

Didn't like him when he came on the scene doing some film review show because he was just loud and annoying. Have to say I find him refreshingly politically incorrect and bloody fun*y on the Saturday Warm Up. The stooges are there to support him don't worry about what they have to say.

Didn't like him when he came on the scene doing some film review show because he was just loud and annoying. Have to say I find him refreshingly politically incorrect and blo*dy funny on the Saturday Warm Up. The stooges are there to support him don't worry about what they have to say.

People that post the same thing twice ;)

the use of the word "thick" instead of fat or over-weight.

Whoever says that? Must be a sceptic term?

You ate all the pies, you ate all the pies
You thick bastard you thick bastard
You ate all the pies.

Exactly. C*nts.

Exactly. C*nts.

:D

Yes, may well be a sceptic term. See it over here too bloody often.

see: http://www.bbc.com/news/blogs-trending-33646878 and the comment made by a reader

I think it is a positive term for 'large', as in someone who is chunky but still attractive. I don't think the Americans know that it means 'stupid' over here.

Every radio advert.

Averts

EFA

People who don't know the difference between a sceptic and a septic. C****. :D

Facebook game requests

Not getting a response to Facebook game requests

Ah, defeated by next page :o

Edit: In fact, that's my thing that annoys ... when you're trying to write witty forum posts and you get put on a new page and it ruins it :sob:

People who come in and prefix their request with "can you just"

Always means they don't expect to have to pay for what they expect me to do to their bike

Easily fixed mate. "Can you just wait whilst I work out a price?"

Peter Mandelson. Wish I could shoot the prat.

Ordered a Dell laptop off their site yesterday with "will be dispatched in 2-4 working days" highlighted as an incentive to buy.

After payment i received an email stating delivery 10th August (14 days). Telephoned to query this and was told that it "will be dispatched in 2-4 working days" FROM CHINA and that it will take the following 10 days to get here.

Cute.

The fact that when you pop your clogs you can have your wishes of what to do with your dosh overruled. If I was the deceased I would go all poltergeist on both the daughter and the judges until they changed their minds.

http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2...will-charities

Seagulls, racist clerks, and gun laws.

Vodafone customer services

Especially Vodafone's piece of shit beatboxing one. So irritating.

Airlines. So there is 5 of us and we have 3 suitcases but a 80kg allowance. Can we split the 80kg across the three cases? Of course you cant!!! Instead take 5 cases!!! Why??????:veryangry

I think ive got an answer for this one.....we have a 16kg weight limit for health and safety reasons at aus post....resch that limit and your supposed to get someone to assist in carrying...breach that assist rule and incurr an injury and you'll have trouble getting workers comp...it may not be the answer in this case...different countries have different work guidlines.

Health Nazis....I've got low Cholesterol so I'm thinking great but oh no there 2 types and the 'good' type isn't low enough......slags.

Full kit cyclists.

Well, pretty much all cyclists actually - but especially full kit ones.

Try riding a road bike without lycra and come back to me on that one.

Itunes and Apples "we know best attitude" along with other software companies that make things so "simple and elegant" you cant find how to do things that you previously pressed a button to do.

I dont want to follow Lady Gaga, I don't want to listen to Mr Beats latest tunes, I JUST WANT TO LISTEN TO MY MUSIC OR WATCH A FILM VIA A STREAM FROM MY MAC

Disagree apart from anyone wearing a full sky kit.

Or a polkadot jersey actually.

So this would make you really angry? :p

https://scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net...7f&oe=5644CF3D

Well yeah that's pretty bad - although what triggered the comment was all the 40 or 50-somethings I see here in leafy Berkshire in fluorescent red/yellow gear - they think they're in the Tour de feckin' France, I'm sure.

You're not fooling anyone though guys - all that lycra is completely unnecessary - admit it, you're just a bit weird.

Able-bodied drivers who turn the steering wheel really fast with their palms