That advert for the navy that ends with “Sure, I was born in Carlisle but I was made in the Royal Navy.”

No you weren't marra, that's not a Cumbrian accent - you're from the north east!

Coins first, counting the change out backwards, small to large then notes. Proper old school way to do it, from when the till didn't calculate the change (or anything else).

Foreigners who are on the phone mouthing off to whoever in their native language but don't realise you understand what they're saying. Especially when they're mouthing off about you.

Yes but his family moved to the North East when he was 4.

You mean purse, not wallet. A wallet is for notes only.

Some wallets have a section for coins :rolleyes:

Yep

That's called a purse

All that fecking shrapnel you have in the UK for change.

Don't fall in the river, you ain't coming out!

And paint. Sick of the sight of it :(

People that blow dry anything but their head hair in the gym. No one wants to see you posing in the mirror blow drying your pits or ball sack you sad *****.

I'm with you on that although I do occasionally squat down in front of the kids height dryer and splay my arse cheeks.

Pubs that serve you a drink at 10.59 and then start chasing you out at 11.04

People who mention on the Facebook about having a friends cull and 'if you can read this you've made it'

Used to make me laugh blokes standing naked and posing while the blow dry different parts of their body.

Everything gives you cancer stories.

Independent front page headline... Alcohol definitely gives you 7 different flavours of cancer. Probably true but thanks a lot you *****, is there anything left other than Quinoa that doesn't give you cancer?

The Guardian All of it (except the sport)

Some good ones today. Was appealed at the independent headline this morn. And agree with oddball on the pub serving and closing trick. Coins are for the back pocket, but prefer my notes on top. Carry on.

Meh, G2 is usually fun.

People who snapchat or Instagram themselves singing and dancing at concerts instead of watching the artist

Coins into pockets, notes into wallet.

Unless you're a girl.

This post might want to be moved to the Middle Class problem thread... but I do live in California, so is the norm not the exception:

Came home from work and it is 110F outside! I have a pool, and it is full of leaves because there is a wind storm going on this afternoon also. I put my swim shorts on and clean out all the leaves... and as I'm dumping the last net of leaves the pool guy shows up!

5:15pm on a Friday... WTF! Anyway, a) I did all his work for him, and b) he puts a bunch of chemicals in the water. No way am I going in after that unless I want bleached hair!

Nobby can relate I'm sure...

Middle-class American problems. :supergrin:

I share your grief with the pool guy - $100 a month for about 20 minutes a month of work.

Yeah, I sure hate it when that happens... :shy:

Humans and their pathetic insular motives.

I'm $90 a month... but I'm sure he will be hitting me up for a raise soon! :eek:

My guys just wants to talk... he is American/Colombian... spends more time talking.

He's the pool guy, he's late because he hasbeen shagging all the bored housewives, have you never seen the films?

I have but you've not seen our pool guy. He'd be unable to arrange a shag with himself.

People with pools who get annoyed.

I'm annoyed at feeling guilty for having daily first world problems

That's a good one.

Anyone mentioned Pokémon Fvcking Go, yet? :wallbash::wallbash:

I am trying my best to avoid it. Not easy.

People who organise their weddings for half 2 on a Saturday afternoon during the football season.

Starting to clean up behind the bar after a busy shift and these pricks come up and order at 10.59

You're open to 11. Serve up and shut up till 11.20. If the drinks aren't finished by then you can pipe up.

Nessun dorma.

Yes, it was fabulous sung by the pros and Italia 90.

But I really don't want to hear it murdered anymore....give it a blooming rest.

Being logged out of this site after just a few minutes of inactivity !

I mean it's just a fan forum not the NOC list for the CIA, happens to me constantly :veryangry

Ha ha, great site, thanks :p

Bars at Selhurst Park post match.

As soon as the temp gets to about 25 most pubs cannot serve cold beer,
ie the chillers/coolers cannot cope.
In Spain it gets into the 40's, ice cold beer everywhere!

Yeah. And when it's served in frozen glasses even better :)

If doing so, the very least they can do is consult with SKY and BT Sport to see what can be done:D

Or even just ensure there is a decent wifi connection in the church and enough sockets along the walls :)

Henry Fecking Blofeld on Test Match Special droning on about seagulls & pigeons at Old Trafford

Alan Brazil.

ONE day he might allow one of his guests to speak without constantly interrupting them?

Or those stupid news bulletins on talkshit. Ray parlour thinks that jose murinho joining man moan will make them stronger. No shit

Me.

4 or 5 young guys at work, are doing a football manager thing between themselves. They take great delight in telling me that they have just beaten Palace when it is time for their 'wonder' team to play us.

I ask where are we in the table and apparently we are in serious danger of being relegated.

Why should I care it is only a ******* virtual game ffs?

But I do, and am tempted to buy the game, join in, and save Palace's honour.

Ridiculous.

Do it!

We would all be disappointed in you if you didn't join in and feck 'em all up now mate. Off you pop...

:lux:

But what happens if I relegate us?

I could not live with the shame.

Or the abuse, both on here and in work.

In Stirling we trust.

I dunno.

No offence Stirling, but if these young'uns have been playing Football Manager for years they could be pros.

In which, they're goading you into joining so they can whoop your arse!

That is what worries me.

However the guy playing as Man U ended up getting whooped 8-1 by Chelsea as in an attempt get back in the game when 3 down he reverted to playing just 1 CB. However the other ones seem to know what they are doing.

I hope I am boring everyone now with this, as it will give you a flavour of how I feel at work, when I get a run down of their team (a list of players I do not even know of) and the tactical astuteness they used to secure a victory.

Worst motivational speech ever!:supergrin:

I've never played before, but maybe a thread here with some of our younger lads for guidance?

btw we are currently 17th in the table. May have an update tomorrow after the next round of games.

Tell them to get back to work or you will sack the lot of them.

just make sure you buy a striker pdq !

Send them a virus:)

Ashamed to admit I work in one of these establishments, I think it's a bloody disgrace.

waiting in a car queue at traffic lights. for ages
The lights turn green, (at this point I'm expecting an F1 start),

But the persons at the front is still picking his/her nose for up to 10 seconds. I am the persons who arrives at the lights as they turn red.

Guns can be good in some scenarios,......

Drivers who choose the outside lane at lights, wait till they turn green THEN indicate right, SELFISH BASTARDS :veryangry

These people need a high five, in the face, with a brick

Selfie wankers

Is that like taking a picture of your self while knocking one out?

Twats that run along side the riders during the Tour de France and other cycle races.

Yep, and with very little indication of your intentions beforehand

Cyclists. I'm never worried about cars or buses in London but cyclists are a menace. They speed along far quicker than cars and completely ignore red lights. Why they are not forced to be licensed and insured like other road users is beyond me. And to top it off, most of South West London and Surrey will be closed on Sunday to celebrate them.

They probably go home and bang one out looking at themselves, the self obsessed twats.

Hippies.

People who let their kids run riot in hotels while they get pissed at the bar.

In south Wimbledon there is a right turn only lane and the straight on lane can be quite busy. You get f****** w****** who steam up the right then indicate left and force their way it. Makes my blood boil, had 2 arguments so far.

White people will dreadlocks...hair looks really dirty and horrible.

People in car parks that drive up to the barrier then go to the machine to pay for the ticket. You know who you are.

Tempting though.

not if its the kids getting pissed :)

tempting to raise my leg as they go speeding past the front of my settee for the fifth time.

Having an office that doesn't have mains water, meaning everytime I wish to fill the kettle I have to go to another building and then return.

Going into my father's place of employment, and being told that I'm tall by every single person I ******* met. Yes, I'm well aware I'm taller than the average person, you don't need to ******* mention it.

people entering/leaving a shop, who suddenly decide to stop, blocking the entrance/exit.
Get outta the ****** way,....pr1x

People who walk straight out of a shop expecting the pavement to be clear and taking out the person already there who should have right of way.

How tall are you?

only 6'4 so it's not like it's even that impressive.

Wow has anyone told you that you are tall?

maybe once or twice i dunno

::supergrin:

I've got a mate who is 6'7. We call him nine foot. Which is odd as he's only 6'7.

He can drink a lot of beer.

Being 6'4" myself I am firmly of the opinion that it's tall, but just the right side of freakishness and not worthy of comment.

6'5" and above is freaky.

Being 6ft 4 tall "what's the weather like up there?" has always proved to be a particularly annoying remark. Now if I had a pound for every time...

"Do you play basketball?" is probably the comment most likely to send me homicidal.

I agree. Except in the cases of my dad and my brother, I am highly suspicious as to the species of anyone taller than me.

There's a kid at work whose nearly 7 foot tall and thin as a stick. People pull him back by his rucksack and yell 'TIMBER!' Probably childish but he seems to see the funny side most of the time.

Good to hear he can rise above it.

He accepts it as character building.

Shit hot at tennis mind.

People who make smug comments for no reason. For example on a busy, standing room only train "you'll have to put the paper away this morning", or waiting for people to exit a pub before you enter "you let them out before you let them in".

Tossers.

Only tallies get this. Nobody continually says to others "oh you're short" "oh you're wide".

glass them

#prayformaddy

Wankers doing loud DIY at 21.30. I don't mean wanking.

Having Hot feet in bed.

As a tallie, I'm guilty of continually calling fat ****'s, "fat ****'s" if that helps?