Kittens and puppies, needy little pieces of vermin that should be put in an air-tight sack and thrown in a canal.

Classy dude

Too far?

Not far enough, maybe throw them a bit harder next time

You can say what you want mate. A bit of context around why you want to drown kittens and puppies might help :supergrin:

Says the 'man' who spends his entire life trolling on a football chat forum looking to wind people up and squabble with anyone foolish enough to rise to the bait.

You really are a bit of ucking sad case Maz.

You forgot the bricks, the sack needs to sink innit.

Oh, and take the puppies out.

He did, they are needy bastards.

At last, some levity. But you still need to grow up and stop seeing offence everywhere.

Have some rep:p

The BBC using music on trailers for their new programmes that doesn't actually appear in their new programme.

I was going to, but then I thought that Maz-bashing might be just another form of rep-whoring, like BBS pity parties and charity threads, so I decided against it.

Endless f*cking petitions.

Yup.

We need fewer petitions and another referendum.:)

At which point did hash browns become part of the full English?
F*ck off with your toasted mash.

Some person called Troy Deeney scoring an own goal and losing me fantasy league points. ;)

If there's space on the plate.

Not at the expense of black pudding I hope.

Demolishing a jumbo tub off egg mayonnaise only to realize afterwards that it was 4 weeks past it's sell by date. I have a bad cold so didn't notice the smell, but that would explain the dirty looks and tutting from people in the cinema. About 30 minutes into the film my stomach dropped and i knew it was just a matter of time until i had to release the gases. I would've gone to the toilet but it was very busy and i didn't want to disturb anyone, so i just had to wait until loud parts of the film to let it all out without raising any alarm.

There was a lot of sniffing and coughing around me but i'd like to think that it was just down to people also suffering from colds. Next time i shall certainly be checking the sell by date before i devour it as i really didn't enjoy ruining the experience for everyone around me.

Although that sympathy doesn't stretch to the taxi driver who kicked me out en-route home. It wasn't a cold evening so why he didn't just roll the windows down i don't know.

Sturgeon. Not necessarily for her policies. She just has a really irritating face.

bit much referring to the train guards like that

Won't be a problem for too much longer thankfully.:hmph:

Watching something on C4 catch up and seemingly not being able to fast forward through the bloody adverts.

And also them showing episodes you cant watch yet, whats the point?

The amount of bloody wires behind the TV. Got the router, Virgin box, Xbox, 2x Sonos speakers, TV and cables coming in from outside for the internet all in one place.

That must do wonders for your wifi signal.

130 mb on the iPad

People that type 'lol' after every comment in messages and on social media when the comment isn't at all funny. It's not bloody compulsory to end every conversation message with lol.

lol

Like I said....

http://www.speedtest.net/result/5504209866.png

:)

Bit jealous of that!

People showing off, hom much internet they get. Bastards.

I am on spic/dago rubbish system. I have given up porn ffs!!!! Bastards!!!!!_!

People in a queue of traffic that sit with their foot on the brake pedal that ensures the poor sod behind gets blinded by the umpteen brake lights they have. Someone did that to me on the ferry on Saturday evening. The boat hadn't even docked and the stupid bastard turned on his engine and sat with his foot on the brake. Good job Palace had won and l was in a good mood otherwise he could have got a mouthful. Inconsiderate tosser.

Wightlink

Me and my dog annoyed me.

My dog going for another dog causing me to instinctively grab whatever I could to hold him back. This caused me to grab the extendable lead rope (stupidly) which cut through my fingers. Attachment 48378Attachment 48379

Ouch!

Accidentally booking the same two advance tickets for the same train journey when one was meant to be the return. I realised straight away - 32 nicker down the drain with no chance of a swap or refund. :sob:

BBSers dying...... stop it you bastards!

Couldn't agree more. Modern day version of highwaymen. :veryangry

Go for the pictures instead of video mate :p

I did something similar - for the trip to London for the final last year as it happens. Booked the wrong train back and Virgin refunded once I'd booked the correct one

I'll send GWR an email then, thanks. Didn't have time earlier and their help page seemed quite final about it.

Vodafone - ever tried cancelling a contract ? 3 months later they are still direct debiting, more long calls tomorrow..

Why don't you just cancel the DD ?

The new BBC home page. All the articles are now in the BIG boxes with a Pic and loads of space. WHY????? all it means is you spend your time scrolling away. WTF is it with these web designers they are so far up their own arse they forget the purpose of a website.

It still looks the same for me.

They are c*nts. I ended up with a default on my credit file that caused me all sorts of problems after a similar scenario. Recorded delivery cancellation letter is aggro but the only way to cover your arse if they're being wankers.

Vodaphone are signed up to the Ombudsman Services for Communications.

If you've followed their suggested procedures for complaining to the company and have no joy after 8 weeks they will take it up for you.

Here's the link and I thought it might be helpful to post what it says:

https://www.ombudsman-services.org/c...nications.html

Complaining to a communications company
We can only consider complaints about companies that have joined our service.

Please check the latest list of companies that have joined our service.

Before you can use our service you must tell the company you are unhappy with about your problem and follow its complaints procedure. The firm or company has up to eight weeks to resolve your problem.

Advice when making a complaint
1. Contact the company as soon as possible – its contact details will be on the back of the bill or on its website.
2. Think about what you want to say before you make the call. Have the bill or document in front of you and explain the problem. Write down the name of the person you speak to, the time, the date and take a note of what they say they will do.
3. Hopefully the company will be able to resolve the problem at this stage. Listen carefully to what is proposed and decide if you are happy with this. If you are not, stay calm and let the person know that you are not happy.
4. Ask the company for a copy of its complaints procedure or ask where you can find it on the company’s website. Communications companies are required to tell you the best way to complain about the service they provide to you. Follow each stage of the complaints procedure until the problem is resolved.
5. If you need to write to the company, keep a copy of the letters you send. If you receive any letters from the company, keep them along with a record of any other phone calls you make or receive.
6. Don’t stop paying. Ask the company to put on hold the disputed part of the bill.
7. Work with the company to fix the problem. If access to your property is needed, arrange an appointment and make sure you keep to it.
8. If you are uncomfortable sorting the matter out for yourself, ask a trusted friend or a family member to help. You can give them your authority to speak to the company for you.
9. If the problem isn’t sorted out within eight weeks from the date that you first told the company about the problem, or you are unhappy with what the company has done to sort it out, contact us. You can complain using the form on this website or by calling 0330 440 1614. We will ask questions about your problem so get out the notes you have taken of the calls you have made and received and the letters you have sent and received.
10. Be realistic and understand that it is not the role of ombudsman services to punish the company.

had a moan at BT on monday for sending me a final demand for a bill I paid at the weekend. The bill wasn't even due for another 3 days
"oh , it takes time for the payment to go through our systems"

Well the money went out of my account within seconds, so for a 'communications company' you are pretty 5hlt.

BBSers who setup a Relegation Avoidance Calculator thread then don't keep it updated.

:lux:

From a Sunday road trip I have a couple to add.

F***wits who despite being in a packed, 50mph 2 lane area with speed cameras flashing think that it's strange that you aren't doing 60mph and/or immediately getting out of there way (despite there being no gaps to go into). Then have the nerve to give you an array of juvenile hand signals. I do hope they get the fines/points that they deserve.

I also hate those temporary 'incident' speed limits that flash up in Motorway signs and then you crawl for several miles without seeing anything at all. Is this their idea of fun! (Note this wasn't the same as the one above which was real roadworks. What made it worse is that we saw the sign change as we entered the area and so it can't have been something that had already been cleared. Oh how they laughed.

Road rage over.


P.s. Another one is those automated fining cameras. One making machines for the local councils. Bradford is reknowned for them and I got done there once before (made worse because of the weird centre layout and some poor signage but hey ho) but Leicester has them now. There is a nasty one at a bus lane that extends far too close to a junction where most traffic turns left and so when it is empty almost everyone slides across early and will now be getting fined :(

I signed one last week and it worked!

The Catford Cat is safe :lux:
http://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/catford-cat-london

Nihal - on 5live useless

The new Sporting Life website. Frankly, it sucks. There used to be loads of football info incl reports & full breakdowns of League Tables with form, discipline stats etc. Now that's all gone & it's turned into a virtual pure betting website showing loads of minor sports which no-one's interested in. The stories are boring, lists of odds are really boring. I know that's how they make their money but COME ON! Have a re-think PLEASE! Plus I've tried logging in/registering a few times but they've got a problem their end, so gave up.

The words "total lockdown". Ghastly Americanism, overly machismo, and massively over-used. Whatever happening to masterful British under-statement at moments of small difficulty ?

People marking themselves as safe in the Westminster attack that never or rarely go to central London

The term "Questions are being asked" when no questions have been asked.

Media shit stirring.

Oh, and "COBRA". Whatever bureaucrat thought that was an appropriate name for the leading members of the British government in crisis session. This isn't some cheap & crap U.S. paramilitary programme

The name loses it's effect when you see it's members too.

Like a really shit super villain squad.

Classic media "trick" to get their own woolly liberal views into a news story.

See also "Auctioneers: Wall Bids"

I've been to COBRA. (Or at least the COBRA suite of rooms: I think we might have been in COBRB.)

I for one will sleep soundly tonight knowing that all those stay at home mums in Kent have marked themselves as safe.

I've been to COBRA but I've never been to B.

Pictures posted on the BBS that are so big that all other posts on the same page are so small as to be illegible to anyone with normal sight.

I agree.

I'd prefer the mods to move/delete the over-size pictures.

Laura Kuennsburg, I find it hard to watch her, and even harder to listen. I'm fed up of changing the channel and missing a lot of the news.

Hysterical overreactions to relatively minor events in Western cities, that in somewhere like China or India would pass without so much as a raised eyebrow.

Some people seem to positively enjoy these kind of incidents and revel in the coverage it generates. Marking yourself "safe" on ******* social media is like announcing "I didn't win the lotto this week". ****s me right off.

I'm not sure that committee for biro rationing in schools during the Rapture is quite as impressive.

Thank f*ck I'm not the only one that irritated.

Grant Shapps. Publicity whore.

Friendlies, Pre-season and International. Why people continue to try and read into them I'll never know. They are a glorified kick about down the park.

It was COBR back when I was involved.

If you think yesterday was a 'minor event' you're even more dense than I thought

News Programmes that read out some of the comments they're getting on their facebook/twitter pages.

Just give me the farking news FFS. Im really not interested in what Mr E Smith from Nether Wallop thinks.

Me making spicy food and it not ending up spicy until my first cup of tea the next morning.
Curry's, chilli con carni and last night breaded chicken strips.
I don't get it i used hot chilli powder, chilli flakes, cayane pepper powder which should be enough to make my tongue melt but nothing.

I think he means minor in terms of the number of people impacted.

There are what, 12 million+ living in London, plus tourists. 4 died and 40 injured. I don't think we need an alert of Facebook for attention seekers to announce they are safe - statistically everyone is safe.

I get the notion, and in some circumstances it has its uses (larger disasters, where the phone lines aren't working etc), but for this its ridiculous.

The stupid prick who just jumped on the line at Bromley South to retrieve his phone, who then had the temerity to argue with the staff when they pointed out what a feckwit he was.

Maybe they should have let him get hit and it might have registered in his tiny brain.

Cambridge EFL listening tests, using voice actors who cant do American, Australian, Geordie and Scottish accents.

Small minded bigots suggesting Muslims should be rounded up and put in prison, for something they might do......and them getting nasty when you point out the similarities between what theyre suggesting and Adolf Hitlers policies towards the Jews.

You nean its not G.I. Joe!?

Kay Burley has the same effect on me

Cabinet Office Briefing Room A is a bit of a mouthful though isn't it.

https://www.thechillioilcompany.co.u...st-chilli-oil/

Get some of this. You only need to stir a small bit in to your chilli or curry to get a real fecking belt. Lovely though. :p

You can add the BBC's Laura Bicker to that list. I can hardly understand a Scottish word she says.

Satsumas, specifically those that are now labelled 'easy peelers'.

No they're not, I had no problem with them previously?

Has the 'dumbing-down' process reached our fruit & veg?

Check the label. I bet your easy peelers are clementines rather than the easier to peel satsumas

Foxes, filthy vermin things. One attacked my poor cat in our garden last night.

There is an art to this spend a little time rolling them between the palms of your hands, it loosens the skin and they become easier to peel.....

:eek: Christ, I hope that technique doesn't work on all forms of skin :sob:

Americans mispronouncing names.

Craig is not 'Creg'. Graham is not 'Gram'. Gram crackers? What the hell is that?

Cats, filthy vermin things. One attacked my poor fox in our garden last night.

Surprised it had the energy left after ripping those sparrows to bits

I'm afraid I'm the same with cats and dogs. Four legged shitting machines. Never been seduced by the idea of domestic pets. Working animals, sure.

****

So they should be called easier to peel after a good massaging, difficult to peel satsumas.

The tree rats ate the sparrows ages ago.

Armadillo's. Leprosy carrying ant-eating varmints.

Adults wearing fancy dress to work (in the name of charity!). Especially Sainsbury's staff on red nose day. Concentrate on scanning my shopping, and not laughing with your colleagues about how whacky you all are.

That reminds me, I must go and shit in my neighbours garden tonight.

Are we still discussing cats?