Originally Posted by BECKS66 (Post 13956334)

Had a real bad case of the trots in Turkey once while in the shower. Didn't have time to get out, does that make me a wrong un.

Originally Posted by PeterH (Post 13956443)

Get that idea out of her head Pete. Smartish. Let's not have that one festering in there.

I can barely tolerate a day without meat (or fish) in the diet.

Originally Posted by Big Gav (Post 13956446)

I did as well this year in Turkey. Just managed to run across the road from the shop I was in to a bars toilets and totally pebble dashed the place. A few seconds later and I would have been standing amongst loads of people with crap running down my legs

Originally Posted by Big Gav (Post 13956446)

I did as well this year in Turkey. Just managed to run across the road from the shop I was in to a bars toilets and totally pebble dashed the place. A few seconds later and I would have been standing amongst loads of people with crap running down my legs

Originally Posted by Hedgehog (Post 13956451)

A nice visual while I'm eating my lunch... :eek:

Originally Posted by Pistol Knight (Post 13956491)

what a stupid time of day to eat lunch

Originally Posted by Pistol Knight (Post 13956491)

what a stupid time of day to eat lunch

Originally Posted by elgin eagle (Post 13956512)

Good stuff. Glad it's getting your goat you complete feckwit.

Originally Posted by Fedora69 (Post 13956496)

Agreed. I bet he goes to sleep at 6am as well.

Originally Posted by Pistol Knight (Post 13956525)

You would have thought he would have eaten enough yesterday to last a week and should be running around the shops like a headless chicken

Originally Posted by Pistol Knight (Post 13956525)

You would have thought he would have eaten enough yesterday to last a week and should be running around the shops like a headless chicken

Originally Posted by Salad_Burnet (Post 13956522)

I am not the feckwit here.

Originally Posted by Fedora69 (Post 13956539)

Turkey twizzlers in the H household a week from now.

Originally Posted by elgin eagle (Post 13956543)

Sadly you are, as you prove with comments like this. Imagine getting upset at someone's stadium idea.

You ****.

Originally Posted by Vendy (Post 13956550)

Not sure if you can see the irony in this LOL

Originally Posted by andyocpfc (Post 13956659)

Snoring!!

Originally Posted by elgin eagle (Post 13956543)

Sadly you are, as you prove with comments like this. Imagine getting upset at someone's stadium idea.

You ****.

Originally Posted by Isle of Wight (Post 13956681)

What stadium idea?

Originally Posted by Hedgehog (Post 13956081)

I think various airlines are trying different grouping when boarding. They all appear to have a different logic (The new crazy BA one to board in order of what you paid for the ticket having zero logic).

On a recent United Airlines trip it appeared that Group 1 & 2 was for the rich and famous, plus the usual preferred boarding folks. Group 3 was for all the window seating people, Group 4 the middle row, and Group 5 the isle seats.

It sort of worked, but by the time Group 5 boarded there was no bin space left.

Luckily, as much as I now dislike window seats at least I was Group 3 and got on reasonably early. As alluded to though, this does not stop the people near the front getting on prior to the people at the back regardless of group which causes isle block.

Originally Posted by Hedgehog (Post 13956549)

Not this year... only the two of us, so we got a turkey breast. Worked out well... Although we do have enough stuffing to keep us feed us a week.

Originally Posted by Stellavista (Post 13956722)

You need this.

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/...29_634x368.jpg

Originally Posted by Stellavista (Post 13956722)

You need this.

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/...29_634x368.jpg

Originally Posted by Little Fozzie (Post 13956784)

Kwiff

Originally Posted by Maidstoned Eagle (Post 13956448)

I bought a large piece of steak today,no ******* way am I going veggie

Originally Posted by Salad_Burnet (Post 13956522)

I am not the feckwit here.

Originally Posted by Hedgehog (Post 13956790)

Betting site?

Originally Posted by CT_Palace (Post 13958018)

feckin shitty Metro (Tude) drivers who pump the breaks sending everyone flying.
At every station.

It was a woman driver. Just saying.

Originally Posted by Hedgehog (Post 13956726)

Upon landing:

https://thumb9.shutterstock.com/disp...-137388038.jpg

Originally Posted by Stellavista (Post 13956722)

You need this.

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/...29_634x368.jpg

Originally Posted by LN1 (Post 13958456)

London underground (and others) try putting this on your escalators.

https://i.imgur.com/q2t3AYT.jpg?1:cool:

Originally Posted by Little Fozzie (Post 13956784)

Kwiff

Originally Posted by Wolfnipplechips (Post 13958497)

Is that a cross section of one of Maidstoned’s shits?

Originally Posted by Wolfnipplechips (Post 13958497)

Is that a cross section of one of Maidstoned’s shits?

Originally Posted by Stellavista (Post 13959454)

People taking credit for things they had nothing to do with. People refusing to take responsibility for things they've f*cked up.

Originally Posted by Hitchin Eagle (Post 13958598)

All betting ads except the one where the blind footballers kick the cat over the fence.

Originally Posted by Vince Hilaire's Afro (Post 13958508)

Hallelujah. Same when you exit the corridor into airport arrivals - if you dump all your shit and stop dead the second you see the people waiting, no one else has anywhere to go, except up your arse

Originally Posted by Isle of Wight (Post 13959627)

Cheating parent linesmen in teenage kids games. I have never seen such bollocks, no wonder parents get upset. 4 offside's that were completely good. A 5th that even the ref overruled it was so obvious. A goal kick given the wrong way that again was soooo wrong and a flag wave for the ball being out after our winger had got round their defender and it hadn't even reached the line!!!! This wasn't poor decisions this was blatant cheating. It didn't matter to our side in the end as we won but it still has annoyed me.

Originally Posted by Mr Mojo Risin (Post 13960068)

Advent calendars that cost hundreds of pounds.

Originally Posted by Isle of Wight (Post 13959627)

Cheating parent linesmen in teenage kids games. I have never seen such bollocks, no wonder parents get upset. 4 offside's that were completely good. A 5th that even the ref overruled it was so obvious. A goal kick given the wrong way that again was soooo wrong and a flag wave for the ball being out after our winger had got round their defender and it hadn't even reached the line!!!! This wasn't poor decisions this was blatant cheating. It didn't matter to our side in the end as we won but it still has annoyed me.

Originally Posted by justjuice (Post 13960163)

Sainsburys xmas advert

Originally Posted by Wolfnipplechips (Post 13959630)

Boris Johnson?

Originally Posted by in-exile (Post 13960185)

What's in it and why?

Originally Posted by remmer (Post 13959923)

Any 'deal' (e.g. tv, internet, phone, gas, electric etc) that offers £x per month for 'first three months/year/five years' - I absolutely refuse to sign unless I know exactly what I will be paying in the future.

Originally Posted by pallet (Post 13960496)

All the countries involved in Brexit knowing that they have to get on an agreement but making stupid demands.

Originally Posted by Fedora69 (Post 13960503)

My enjoyment of Jeremy Kyle being interrupted because of a royal engagement.

Originally Posted by elgin eagle (Post 13960524)

Wish he was marrying a Russian. The BBC's nonsense coverage would be even funnier then.

Originally Posted by Fedora69 (Post 13960532)

Only four months of incessant banging on and on and on. And that is just H and
M.

Originally Posted by cappuccinoeagle (Post 13961771)

Not the Royal Wedding, which is merely tedious, but the lack of Bank Holiday.

The Sun newspaper - I'm assuming this piece of poo paper only writes about cricket when something controversial happens?

Originally Posted by Reps AJ (Post 13962706)

People using the lift to go up one floor.

Originally Posted by Dave McGregor (Post 13962811)

People who don't signal at roundabouts

Originally Posted by stamford triumph (Post 13962815)

I'll raise you - people who don't signal and start in the left lane but go right

Originally Posted by Stellavista (Post 13962817)

When did not indicating become standard practice?
How did these people pass their test?
C*nts.

Originally Posted by Reps AJ (Post 13962706)

People using the lift to go up one floor.

Originally Posted by Johnnieboy (Post 13960979)

Starbucks. Four cup sizes now so that you can no longer ask for medium instead of whatever twatty name they used to give the middle one

Originally Posted by Johnnieboy (Post 13960979)

Starbucks. Four cup sizes now so that you can no longer ask for medium instead of whatever twatty name they used to give the middle one

Originally Posted by bubbs11 (Post 13965584)

The fact that my Mrs is right when she says I can't find anything I'm looking for that is literally right in front of my face.

For example, earlier I went to the fridge to get the butter for the nippers toast. Stood there for ages looking and no, definitely not there. Irritated shout from me to Mrs Bubbs, 'What have you done with the butter??', followed by her walking to fridge rolling her eyes and grabbing 'missing' butter sat right at the front of the fridge. I just couldn't see it. Now either she is a magician of David Blane proportions or I in fact suffer from MPB: Male Patterned Blindness.

Anyone else a sufferer?

Originally Posted by bubbs11 (Post 13965584)

The fact that my Mrs is right when she says I can't find anything I'm looking for that is literally right in front of my face.

For example, earlier I went to the fridge to get the butter for the nippers toast. Stood there for ages looking and no, definitely not there. Irritated shout from me to Mrs Bubbs, 'What have you done with the butter??', followed by her walking to fridge rolling her eyes and grabbing 'missing' butter sat right at the front of the fridge. I just couldn't see it. Now either she is a magician of David Blane proportions or I in fact suffer from MPB: Male Patterned Blindness.

Anyone else a sufferer?

Originally Posted by LN1 (Post 13955537)

Not only on the plane but Singapore airlines have pulled me out the queue twice asking if I can move my selected seat to accommodate people who want to sit together.

Originally Posted by Mr Statto (Post 13966203)

I was that person - on our honeymoon in 1999 the taxi turned up so late that by the time we checked in there were no seats together anywhere. Fortunately the guy on his own next to my wife was happy to swap

Originally Posted by Mr Mojo Risin (Post 13960068)

Advent calendars that cost hundreds of pounds.

Originally Posted by Hedgehog (Post 13966763)

Needing to get a government issued document, and:
a) Being charged $15 for it.
b) Being charged a $9.00 processing fee to get it
c) Being charged $18.50 to mail by UPS
d) taking 20 days to do this

Alternate is to drive 40+ miles into deepest darkest central Los Angeles to said government office and take a number and wait a minimum of 2 hours in a waiting room full of degenerates just to avoid b) through d).

a) through d) every time I think, still annoying as hell though.

Originally Posted by PeterH (Post 13966870)

Take a packed lunch. The time will pass in no time and you will save enough for an exotic holiday somewhere.

Originally Posted by Hedgehog (Post 13966877)

Hell no... a) the homeless down town will mug you for your packed lunch, and b) the Mexican food outlets downtown is far too good to miss!

Originally Posted by Reps AJ (Post 13962706)

People using the lift to go up one floor.

Originally Posted by Mr Mojo Risin (Post 13960068)

Advent calendars that cost hundreds of pounds.

Originally Posted by TWOSEAT EAGLE (Post 13966998)

There was a programme on a couple of nights ago with Philip Schofield in which he compared some of these....one, which had a rare whisky behind each window, was a limited edition and cost £10,000. Apparently a full bottle of whatever was behind the Christmas eve window would cost £28,000 :eek:

Originally Posted by bubbs11 (Post 13965584)

The fact that my Mrs is right when she says I can't find anything I'm looking for that is literally right in front of my face.

For example, earlier I went to the fridge to get the butter for the nippers toast. Stood there for ages looking and no, definitely not there. Irritated shout from me to Mrs Bubbs, 'What have you done with the butter??', followed by her walking to fridge rolling her eyes and grabbing 'missing' butter sat right at the front of the fridge. I just couldn't see it. Now either she is a magician of David Blane proportions or I in fact suffer from MPB: Male Patterned Blindness.

Anyone else a sufferer?

Originally Posted by Reps AJ (Post 13962706)

People using the lift to go up one floor.