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-   -   Things that annoy you (https://www.cpfc.org/forums/showthread.php?t=255975)

elgin eagle 23-07-2018 05:54 PM

:D

nathe 23-07-2018 05:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elgin eagle (Post 14347771)
I have an elastic band somewhere. Does that result in lots of loose skin everywhere? Mind you, I guess you can probably get that lasered off and tattooed over or something. I would imagine it would force you to exercise more to avoid that scenario though.

Depends how tight they do it. If it's done looser it leads to gradual weight loss and no flappy skin.

elgin eagle 23-07-2018 05:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nathe (Post 14347797)
Depends how tight they do it. If it's done looser it leads to gradual weight loss and no flappy skin.

Ok cheers, sounds like a good solution. Amazing how things like baldness and fatness, that have dogged men for centuries, can now be fixed. What a time to be alive.

the digger 23-07-2018 05:58 PM

Failing to ignore the BBS for just one day.

Fatboy 23-07-2018 05:59 PM

Adipose on the NHS ?
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikiped...ec/Adipose.jpg

nathe 23-07-2018 06:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elgin eagle (Post 14347807)
Ok cheers, sounds like a good solution. Amazing how things like baldness and fatness, that have dogged men for centuries, can now be fixed. What a time to be alive.

Just need an easier way to do penis enlargements and your sorted

Maidstoned Eagle 23-07-2018 06:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maz (Post 14347728)
So now you can go to seed again!

You missed the post where I said I go to the gym 3 times a week to.maintain my weight loss? :D

Maidstoned Eagle 23-07-2018 06:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nathe (Post 14347813)
Just need an easier way to do penis enlargements and your sorted

And how do you know he needs one?

elgin eagle 23-07-2018 06:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nathe (Post 14347813)
Just need an easier way to do penis enlargements and your sorted

Perhaps they can reuse the surplus fat after they've done your tits :)

elgin eagle 23-07-2018 06:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nathe (Post 14347813)
Just need an easier way to do penis enlargements and your sorted

.

Blind_Eagle 23-07-2018 06:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nathe (Post 14347813)
Just need an easier way to do penis enlargements and your sorted

Perhaps they can reuse the surplus fat after they've done your tits :)

Blind_Eagle 23-07-2018 06:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nathe (Post 14347813)
Just need an easier way to do penis enlargements and your sorted

.

cappuccinoeagle 23-07-2018 07:07 PM

EDF - and their incessant correspondence about smart meters, and supposedly they are crap and barely save any money.

Wolfnipplechips 23-07-2018 07:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by little al (Post 14347541)
I got weighed at a medical today, I am 11s fecking 4lb

4lb of cock?

Blind_Eagle 23-07-2018 07:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wolfnipplechips (Post 14348016)
4lb of cock?

From an unwelcome position of knowledge, Id hazzard a guess that he meant to post 11.4

Blind_Eagle 23-07-2018 08:00 PM

Advocado threads.

OLD BASING EAGLE 23-07-2018 08:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blind_Eagle (Post 14348055)
Advocado threads.

Avocados are evil bastards and appear to be taking over the world. They have even made in roads into the BBS and are intent on world domination I tell you.

Terrace Bickle 24-07-2018 05:53 PM

Parents who don't take their children to the toilet before taking them swimming. Enabling their children to poo in the pool and then not doing anything about it!

Maidstoned Eagle 24-07-2018 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Terrace Bickle (Post 14349667)
Parents who don't take their children to the toilet before taking them swimming. Enabling their children to poo in the pool and then not doing anything about it!

Doody in the pool!!

https://goo.gl/images/74qRRF

Gazza2 24-07-2018 08:53 PM

Banks who keep asking you if you'll switch from paper to electronic statements

Oldtown Eagle 24-07-2018 11:23 PM

:veryangry Dogs - the bastards.

CT_Palace 25-07-2018 05:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oldtown Eagle (Post 14350494)
:veryangry Dogs - the bastards.

There's one barking his nuts off outside right now (midnight FFS)
It's at times like this I wish I had a gun.

Maidstoned Eagle 25-07-2018 06:17 AM

Buy one of the sound emitters online.

firesign 25-07-2018 09:29 AM

People who make you a weak coffee

elgin eagle 25-07-2018 09:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by firesign (Post 14350782)
People who make you a weak coffee

People who make you coffee.

Maidstoned Eagle 25-07-2018 10:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elgin eagle (Post 14350832)
People who make you coffee.

https://russianlegacy.com/images/samovars/S0248.jpg

elgin eagle 25-07-2018 10:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maidstoned Eagle (Post 14350886)

Coffee is for grumpy baldies.

andyocpfc 25-07-2018 11:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elgin eagle (Post 14350889)
Coffee is for grumpy baldies.


Fk off, I love coffee.......



Oh!

elgin eagle 25-07-2018 11:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by andyocpfc (Post 14350917)
Fk off, I love coffee.......



Oh!

:D

I never had you down as grumpy. Maidstoned, on the other hand...

Maidstoned Eagle 25-07-2018 12:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elgin eagle (Post 14350920)
:D

I never had you down as grumpy. Maidstoned, on the other hand...

I'm not grumpy....I'm goddamn pissed off!!!:supergrin:

elgin eagle 25-07-2018 12:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maidstoned Eagle (Post 14351010)
I'm not grumpy....I'm goddamn pissed off!!!:supergrin:

:D

Same here. 8 days in a bastard row.

kenz 25-07-2018 12:51 PM

wearing a rucksack whilst someone rummages around in it for something, coathangers,
when an English person corrects a foreigner speaking English over something pedantic.

Maidstoned Eagle 25-07-2018 12:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elgin eagle (Post 14351012)
:D

Same here. 8 days in a bastard row.

Idiots on Twatter, idiots on here, idiots on faceache....ffs, I'll have to start reading books again at this rate.

Maidstoned Eagle 25-07-2018 12:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kenz (Post 14351040)
wearing a rucksack whilst someone rummages around in it for something, coathangers,
when an English person corrects a foreigner speaking English over something pedantic.

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com...0bf95b2473.jpg

Dj 784 25-07-2018 01:19 PM

The evening standard’s Palace coverage

Selhurst Celtic 25-07-2018 01:48 PM

The evening standard's West Ham coverage.

Coastal Palace 25-07-2018 01:49 PM

The Evening Standard.

Selhurst Celtic 25-07-2018 01:50 PM

West Ham.

Maidstoned Eagle 25-07-2018 02:53 PM

Palace

smileysmith 25-07-2018 02:58 PM

Not a lot really. :)


Davy64 25-07-2018 03:03 PM

Liars

foresthillbilly 25-07-2018 03:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maidstoned Eagle (Post 14351054)

English people, who can't speak the language proper.

Maidstoned Eagle 25-07-2018 03:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by foresthillbilly (Post 14351261)
English people, who can't speak the language proper.

Like what we does

PalaceForever 25-07-2018 04:18 PM

I parked in the far corner of a car park in a leisure centre on Sunday as the spaces in this car park are tight, I had the kids with me and I don't mind walking across the car park as there's a path. About 20 empty spaces and my car.

When I return, there's 19 empty spaces, my car and some idiot who has parked so close to me, I have to reverse my car back in order to be able to open the passenger side doors. Other than doing it deliberately to be annoying, why would you do that? Probably the same sort of person that will come take a leak in the urinal right next to you even if there are 4 others free.

CP-RJW 25-07-2018 04:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by firesign (Post 14350782)
People who make you a weak coffee

People who add milk to my coffee

Stellavista 25-07-2018 05:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CP-RJW (Post 14351314)
People who add milk to my coffee

The bastards! Have them horse-whipped.

OLD BASING EAGLE 26-07-2018 12:40 AM

The bastard toe rags that attempted to break into my British Legion last night. Despite top notch CCTV the police are not interested. This is the fourth or fifth attempt within the year and non got away with anything just the damage to doors/windows. This time however they made a huge mistake of removing some posts of our beer garden adjacent to a horse field where some local travellers keep their horses that almost escaped to the main road. These horses are their pride and joy. The cctv footage has been shown to them and they recognised the motorbikes used so justice will be served one way or the other.

cpfc4evandeva 26-07-2018 05:56 AM

Why were the police not interested?

OLD BASING EAGLE 26-07-2018 07:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cpfc4evandeva (Post 14351803)
Why were the police not interested?

Said they couldnt get out to us for a while by which time any forensics would have been disturbed. As the culprits also wore crash helmets said little chance of positive ID.

Pub Idol 26-07-2018 11:11 AM

Smokers. ******* idiots.

Brett 26-07-2018 05:36 PM

Software pricing.

Look, only 4.99 a month (billed annually).

Well it's 59.88 per year then, isn't it, bastards?

Johnnieboy 26-07-2018 05:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brett (Post 14352686)
Software pricing.

Look, only 4.99 a month (billed annually).

Well it's 59.88 per year then, isn't it, bastards?

Yeah, and why can't we just buy it outright anymore, rather than paying them three times as much over the lifetime of the product for a subscription where the seller does absolutely no more than if they just sold it outright. That's a proper scam!!!

cappuccinoeagle 26-07-2018 05:57 PM

This weather

biggus mickus 27-07-2018 02:39 AM

Having to get up at 03..00am, to let the dogs out. A vixen just came through the farm screaming. Dogs chased it off. I am now with a mug of tea, wide awake and on here.

CT_Palace 27-07-2018 04:11 AM

better than waking up at 04:30am for no ******* reason at all like I did last night and spending the day in a fug... the only thing that improved the day was the beers this evening.

PeterH 27-07-2018 04:23 AM

Chilean TVs upcoming love affair with West Ham just because Pelligrini is the manager.

A few months back and they had barely heard of West Ham.

It means the brief football highlights every week will mention Man Utd for Sanchez, West Ham and whoever are on top of the Premier. They might even forego the latter.

Panther 27-07-2018 07:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brett (Post 14352686)
Software pricing.

Look, only 4.99 a month (billed annually).

Well it's 59.88 per year then, isn't it, bastards?

Much the same for printers, cheap as chips, and ink, not cheap as chips.

Fatboy 27-07-2018 07:21 AM

The passengers who go through the barriers at Victoria - and their train has not been announced.
They block the concourse between ticket barriers and the platforms.

You then fight your way past them to get on your train where Southern have given you 5 minutes notice before it departs.

They all stand in the way like French tourists.

charltonhater 28-07-2018 06:10 PM

Dialling codes.
It's 020 for London!
Not 0207, 0208, 0203

Maidstoned Eagle 28-07-2018 09:31 PM

Idiots who leave their bags with their car and house keys, money etc on a wall at a festival and then come and have a go at the staff for not being able to find it.

Hedgehog 28-07-2018 09:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maidstoned Eagle (Post 14356602)
Idiots who leave their bags with their car and house keys, money etc on a wall at a festival and then come and have a go at the staff for not being able to find it.

A bit abstruse that Peter?

Wayne Andrews is God 28-07-2018 10:04 PM

9 out of 10 people that go through airport security, they just take their valuables out of the tray like some **** and leave it there so that it blocks the rest coming, it takes two seconds, even people who have seen the hold up and are waiting for their valuables do it. I dont know why people dont engage their brain. I end up putting about 5 trays away while Im there to speed up the process to get my bag.

This is about 1 of 20 things that annoy me about people using air travel though.

Nigel_Scarfer 28-07-2018 10:20 PM

Amazon delivery driver demanding that I give him my full name in order for me to do the good deed of signing for a parcel on behalf of my neighbour.

When I said that I would give him my first name, but wasn't prepared to give my full name to someone who I had absolutely no connection to and who would therefore have my full name and address, he threw a right strop and stormed off (with his parcel).

I'm not normally so obtuse, but I have no idea what the need for my full name was and have never heard of delivery drivers asking for this before.

Maidstoned Eagle 28-07-2018 10:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hedgehog (Post 14356608)
A bit abstruse that Peter?

You what, you calling me a **** or summink?

PeterH 28-07-2018 10:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nigel_Scarfer (Post 14356651)
Amazon delivery driver demanding that I give him my full name in order for me to do the good deed of signing for a parcel on behalf of my neighbour.

When I said that I would give him my first name, but wasn't prepared to give my full name to someone who I had absolutely no connection to and who would therefore have my full name and address, he threw a right strop and stormed off (with his parcel).

I'm not normally so obtuse, but I have no idea what the need for my full name was and have never heard of delivery drivers asking for this before.

Why couldn't you have gone with Nigel Scarfer?

Hedgehog 29-07-2018 12:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maidstoned Eagle (Post 14356658)
You what, you calling me a **** or summink?

Is that what abstruse means? I was trying to sound clever! :confused:

Just seemed a bit random, so assumed you were part of the staff in question.

CT_Palace 29-07-2018 04:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PeterH (Post 14353173)
Chilean TVs upcoming love affair with West Ham just because Pelligrini is the manager.

A few months back and they had barely heard of West Ham.

It means the brief football highlights every week will mention Man Utd for Sanchez, West Ham and whoever are on top of the Premier. They might even forego the latter.

Oh gawd yes.
(Its already started btw)

Ian J 29-07-2018 06:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nigel_Scarfer (Post 14356651)
Amazon delivery driver demanding that I give him my full name in order for me to do the good deed of signing for a parcel on behalf of my neighbour.

When I said that I would give him my first name, but wasn't prepared to give my full name to someone who I had absolutely no connection to and who would therefore have my full name and address, he threw a right strop and stormed off (with his parcel).

I'm not normally so obtuse, but I have no idea what the need for my full name was and have never heard of delivery drivers asking for this before.

I work from home so often take packages in for neighbours and the couriers always ask for my full name which I have no problem giving

Bipe 29-07-2018 07:49 AM

I have a green pyjama top.

My wife insists it is a grey pyjama top which looks green.

Surely if it looks green, it is green?

This is but the latest in many similar garment colour related arguments over the years and it drives me nuts.

the digger 29-07-2018 08:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bipe (Post 14357062)
I have a green pyjama top.

My wife insists it is a grey pyjama top which looks green.

Surely if it looks green, it is green?

This is but the latest in many similar garment colour related arguments over the years and it drives me nuts.


Maidstoned Eagle 29-07-2018 08:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hedgehog (Post 14356831)
Is that what abstruse means? I was trying to sound clever! :confused:

Just seemed a bit random, so assumed you were part of the staff in question.

I was. :)

art malice 30-07-2018 01:41 PM

Lead story on BBC Sport website being Ibrahimovic scoring his first MLS hat-trick.

Who gives a fvck wankers.

little al 30-07-2018 06:17 PM

The DVLA, again. Wankers.

Terrace Bickle 31-07-2018 03:44 PM

The bunch of teenage girls, from London, judging their accents, who ****ed off from a pristine Norfolk beach leaving all their litter behind: empty lemonade bottles, plastic cups, crisp packets etc.
I felt obligated to pick it all up.

the digger 01-08-2018 09:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Terrace Bickle (Post 14360997)
The bunch of teenage girls, from London, judging their accents, who ****ed off from a pristine Norfolk beach leaving all their litter behind: empty lemonade bottles, plastic cups, crisp packets etc.
I felt obligated to pick it all up.

I'd say "try living in Brighton" but it's not worth the abuse.

the digger 01-08-2018 09:24 AM

People who light cigarettes and don't smoke them.

the digger 01-08-2018 09:24 AM

Retail staff who don't make eye contact when dealing with you.

the digger 01-08-2018 09:26 AM

School holidays ruining my midweek days off.

Baffled Bob 2 01-08-2018 09:28 AM

Cinemas that close their box offices so you have to queue up behind people buying popcorn, nachos, hot dogs, ice cream, Maltesers and vast buckets of Coke when your film starts in two minutes.

the digger 01-08-2018 09:30 AM

Seed investment in small businesses making it unaffordable for those of us who want to be owner-operators.

the digger 01-08-2018 09:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baffled Bob 2 (Post 14362398)
Cinemas that close their box offices so you have to queue up behind people buying popcorn, nachos, hot dogs, ice cream, Maltesers and vast buckets of Coke when your film starts in two minutes.

I guess that's why they have 30 minutes of adverts these days.

the digger 01-08-2018 09:32 AM

30 minutes of adverts before films in the cinema.

People who still can't make it to their seats before the film starts despite this.

The advert:trailer ratio.

the digger 01-08-2018 09:32 AM

Films on Film4 having advert breaks.

the digger 01-08-2018 09:48 AM

Drivers who seem to think an amber light means accelerate.

Stellavista 01-08-2018 12:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the digger (Post 14362453)
Drivers who seem to think an amber light means accelerate.

And a red light means the same. The Uber school of driving, which happily also dispenses with the need for indicators. Grand Theft Auto is real.

little al 01-08-2018 06:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baffled Bob 2 (Post 14362398)
Cinemas that close their box offices so you have to queue up behind people buying popcorn, nachos, hot dogs, ice cream, Maltesers and vast buckets of Coke when your film starts in two minutes.

You could have stopped at cinemas. Awful places.

Stellavista 01-08-2018 06:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by little al (Post 14363770)
You could have stopped at cinemas. Awful places.

I love a proper old stalls/circle picture house, not those shitty multiplexes that we have now. F*cking awful. The box office/munchies stands are combined to entice you to buy the overpriced crap on display. What sort of bellend pays seven quid for a bucket of popcorn? Box of maltesers from the supermarket and a hip flask, and you're sorted.

Hedgehog 01-08-2018 07:23 PM

Analysis paralysis… I blame Google. I am now incapable of making any decision when it comes to purchasing something without Googling the crap out of it, with the end result of me thoroughly confusing myself and ending up not buying anything, or if I do I second guess the crap out of myself.

It was so much more pleasant buying stuff on a whim and a prayer.

Maidstoned Eagle 01-08-2018 09:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stellavista (Post 14363848)
I love a proper old stalls/circle picture house, not those shitty multiplexes that we have now. F*cking awful. The box office/munchies stands are combined to entice you to buy the overpriced crap on display. What sort of bellend pays seven quid for a bucket of popcorn? Box of maltesers from the supermarket and a hip flask, and you're sorted.

Spanish cinemas are about 5 to get in and they sell beer for 1:50. Bloody Brexit. :lux:

Stellavista 01-08-2018 09:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maidstoned Eagle (Post 14364084)
Spanish cinemas are about 5 to get in and they sell beer for 1:50. Bloody Brexit. :lux:

That's more like it. Do seats come with a free goat, and some toothless hag in a shawl trying to shake you down for spare change outside the lav (blowjob optional)?

the digger 01-08-2018 09:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by little al (Post 14363770)
You could have stopped at cinemas. Awful places.

Quite. Much better to stay in and watch Love Island :hi:

the digger 01-08-2018 09:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maidstoned Eagle (Post 14364084)
Spanish cinemas are about 5 to get in and they sell beer for 1:50. Bloody Brexit. :lux:

They're generally pretty cheap on a midweek afternoon over here. And empty. And the minimum wage staff don't give a toss what food and drink you bring in.

People who think they'll wait for the DVD (or whatever the modern equivalent is) are missing the point

the digger 01-08-2018 09:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stellavista (Post 14364114)
That's more like it. Do seats come with a free goat, and some toothless hag in a shawl trying to shake you down for spare change outside the lav (blowjob optional)?

You've been to Beckenham Odeon then.

Wolfnipplechips 01-08-2018 09:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stellavista (Post 14363848)
I love a proper old stalls/circle picture house, not those shitty multiplexes that we have now. F*cking awful. The box office/munchies stands are combined to entice you to buy the overpriced crap on display. What sort of bellend pays seven quid for a bucket of popcorn? Box of maltesers from the supermarket and a hip flask, and you're sorted.

The ones who really cant afford it. :frown:

Weve taken to using the UCI in Sutton, free parking for three hours and a shop over the road for the goodies.

Stellavista 01-08-2018 10:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the digger (Post 14364161)
You've been to Beckenham Odeon then.

Nah, my Saturday morning picture days were in Brixton. We wait until we're on the Isle of Wight to see any movies we fancy. Cheap as chips midweek.:lux:

Jerry Murphy's Fringe 01-08-2018 10:23 PM

Hot hotel rooms

Hotel curtains that don't overlap properly and let light in

Hotel doors that have a massive gap at the boot and let light in

Hotel rooms with tiny bathrooms

Hotel rooms with little red lights the are only visible when the rooms is dark, thus impossible to locate an obliterate with your shoe with the lights on.

Hotel (in fact any) breakfast self-serves set out so it is possible for people to defile the the scrambled egg (or an other) serving spoon with baked bean juice. There should be a special serving area for that odious concoction out in the car park. And why do people eat so much hotel breakfast?

Fatboy 01-08-2018 10:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jerry Murphy's Fringe (Post 14364248)
Hot hotel rooms

Hotel curtains that don't overlap properly and let light in

Hotel doors that have a massive gap at the boot and let light in

Hotel rooms with tiny bathrooms

Hotel rooms with little red lights the are only visible when the rooms is dark, thus impossible to locate an obliterate with your shoe with the lights on.

Hotel (in fact any) breakfast self-serves set out so it is possible for people to defile the the scrambled egg (or an other) serving spoon with baked bean juice. There should be a special serving area for that odious concoction out in the car park. And why do people eat so much hotel breakfast?

Because it's there !

the digger 01-08-2018 10:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jerry Murphy's Fringe (Post 14364248)
Hot hotel rooms

Hotel curtains that don't overlap properly and let light in

Hotel doors that have a massive gap at the boot and let light in

Hotel rooms with tiny bathrooms

Hotel rooms with little red lights the are only visible when the rooms is dark, thus impossible to locate an obliterate with your shoe with the lights on.

Hotel (in fact any) breakfast self-serves set out so it is possible for people to defile the the scrambled egg (or an other) serving spoon with baked bean juice. There should be a special serving area for that odious concoction out in the car park. And why do people eat so much hotel breakfast?

Happy holiday

the digger 01-08-2018 10:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stellavista (Post 14364225)
Nah, my Saturday morning picture days were in Brixton. We wait until we're on the Isle of Wight to see any movies we fancy. Cheap as chips midweek.:lux:

I had my first (non-self-administered) hand job while watching Look Who's Talking at the Ritzy.

This may explain why I love going to the cinema. And why I always fall asleep

Salad_Burnet 01-08-2018 10:39 PM

Right now, I'm mostly annoyed by inappropriate posting.


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