People on planes who start clapping like mad as soon as the plane touches down on the runway.

It's still travelling at 150mph (give or take) and the pilot has to slow it down, the job's not completely done FFS

Even when the job's done.
If he or she can't land a plane then he/she shouldn't be up front FFS.

(maybe acceptable if it's a howling gale/blizzard cross-wind)

Talking about politics. I hate election time, especially as I'm the only lefty in a house of ******* Tories. **** that for a laugh. I've had to make a no politics rule to save my sanity. It's hard when even Gogglebox has segments on the week's political news.

People that start clapping at the end of a movie.

The cost of my Internet keeps going up... I'm sure they must tell me it is going up in the small print somewhere.

Why should it keep going up? Should it not go down in cost?

Then they temp you with special offers to "get faster" internet for less money, but then stick hidden cost on top, and in 12 months the "special offer" expires and you will be paying more than you are today.

Exactly :p

And the cable co's sales staff's complete and utter inability to tell you straight how much you will end up paying.

Precisely! Along with line rental. I must have bought the fcukin line a hundred times over by now.

Yep - and even the technical support people always end with a sales pitch... "Oh I see you don't have x, y, z service.... "I can install that for you now while I have you on the phone... How about a bundle - etc, etc."

:eek: Saturday night TV schedules. How do so many channels contrive to broadcast so much shite on the same evening. Its a complete wasteland until MOTD. Its enough to keep you in the pub.

I didn't know until recently that the likes of Virgin and Sky buy their Internet services upstream from the likes of Verizon who are, unofficially, one of the part owners of the Internet with 5 other major comms companies.

So many channels with nothing worth watching on 99% of them.

The way women aah when the words 'Ant & Dec' are mentioned!

They are not puppies or kittens! They are grown (partially at least) 40 year olds.

ITV (for so many reasons)
Obsession with James Bond
Obsession with Carry On films
Obsession with serial killer/police procedural dramas
Too many ad breaks
Too much Ant,Dec,Schofield

Is it Yo zay, Ho zay or Joe zay?
Likewise, is it Van gall, Van hall or Van gull?

It's wanker and ****. HTH

I know ... but would still like to know :)

It's like when David Gin-o-la became Dav-eed Shin-ola

Eurgh, where did these c**** crawl out from? WHO THE **** ARE YOU CLAPPING?!! Knobs

As someone who learned Dutch for a year I can clear up the latter for you. Its van haal (Dutch g is similar to our h with a guttural edge to it). But in English its just pronounced wanker.

I want to expand on yours and say inconsistent pronunciation of player names in general. Bellerin in the Arsenal game today had about 3 different ways of saying it between the two commentators. It pains me they don't bother to learn how to say it correctly, even the Yanks get that right in sports.

Islam

Do these people go to an art museum and start applauding in front of a painting? I think not.

There is no one there that cares... unless your at the Premier I guess.

Thank you your insight.

It would appear that G's are pronounced as H's.

Now all we need to know is it aitch or haitch?

We do know, it's aitch.

Unless you were Harry H Corbett of Steptoe fame.

When asked what the "H" stood for, he answered "Hanything".

Automated menu systems at call centres that make you go through 1 for this 2 for that then ask your account details and address and then when you get throughout to someone THEY ******* ASK IT ALL AGAIN! I ******* HATE THE ******* THINGS! WHAT IS THE POINT!

Think I'm losing my senses but here goes. Listening to BBC's 'Books And Authors' podcast, I heard an author mispronounce the word 'hyperbole'. The failed pronunciation loses the speaker every ounce of credibility in my books. Then, on another episode, I heard a Cambridge scholar use a rhetorical term I had never come across before and she failed to spell it for the listeners. The term is anacolutha and I spent the last fifteen minutes trying to find it. My story has a happy ending though. I thought to myself, I'm going onto the BBS thread, Things That Annoy You. Whaddayaknow? Guess which thread was first on the left hand column? It's times like this that my love for the Palace family knows no bounds!:lux::lux:

Someone who posts this crap! No insult intended btw!

Ed Miliband

If you resolve to only contact call centres at work, the inefficiency of the system becomes your friend and you grow to actually enjoy and draw out the entire process, just to kill time.

Tory politicians
Recycled BBS trolls

I do hope you're not a Civil Servant.

Fake child voices on tv adverts. The Barclays learn to code one being a prime example.

The Mexican bloody wave

No offence taken. I was in need of getting it off my chest. Seriously though word pronunciation is important because it affects how seriously a person is taken in a public forum.

National anthems and dignitaries/hangers on being introduced to teams before internationals. Even worse is the trend for some warbling opera bint in sequins belting out god save the queen. Just cut the shit and get on with the ******* game.

Especially considering the players have spent the previous half hour warming up only to be then made to stand around for 10 minutes.

Ant and Dec.

In particular the fact that they seem to spend their lives standing or sitting in the right order ie Ant and Dec rather than Dec and Ant.

The amount of packaging involved with an Easter egg.

Danny Higinbotham

Yes, Yes and Yes!
Exactly who is responsible for world sport being infiltrated by over the top pre-ceremony? National anthems go off at the opening of an envelope these days. FFS, the cricket World Cup sent teams out to the sound of their anthems at the semi final stage. :veryangry
However, God Save The Queen conspicuously absent on those occasions.

Working class Tories

Middle class Labour supporters. :bash:

So the more you have the less you should care about those without?

Prawn sandwich football fans...like the middle bit at Wembley! ***** get out and watch the ******* game! :grrr:

Show me examples of people "without" in the UK. If they can't be arsed to go and work and prefer to live on benefits I don't feel anything other than scorn.

We do not have poverty in this country - only people who feel entitled to more than they contribute.

Yep. Another pet peeve of mine. Especially over here where all the telly is dubbed and the isn't the same tradition of stage school as there is in the UK.
Virtually all the kiddies are dubbed by adults and it sounds awful.

People at concerts who hold their iPad up in front of them to film it obscuring the views of everyone behind them. I want to watch the concert live not you recording it on an ipad. Should be banned, like selfie sticks

People who take ages putting their bag in the overhead luggage rack on trains.

People who tut loudly while I'm taking ages placing my bags in the overhead luggage rack on trains.

The stupidity of "the authorities" sometimes. From MSN:

"An Italian grandmother has accidentally poisoned herself and three children with hot chocolate that went out of date 15 years ago.

The 77-year-old woman, named as Mrs Rosetta, reportedly found the expired sachets at home and mixed them into warm milk as a treat for her two grandchildren and their friend.

She also enjoyed some of the hot drink, along with her partner and son, Il Mattino reported.

Her partner was the first to feel the effects, suffering sickness and diarrhoea, before the whole group had to be hospitalised with food poisoning symptoms.

One of the children, who were aged between eight and 12, reportedly remained in hospital for almost three weeks.

Suspicions quickly turned to the hot chocolate and when she was able to return home, Mrs Rosetta discovered that the expiry date was 5 June 1990, Il Giornale di Vicenza reported.

She had brought the drink sachets “a few years earlier” in the 1980s, the newspaper said, but forgot about them as they languished hidden in the bottom of a cupboard.

The hot chocolate’s expiry date was in the month when Italy hosted the start of the World Cup, the destruction of the Berlin Wall began, the US and Russia signed a treaty to end chemical weapon production and J.K Rowling finished writing Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone.

Prosecutors are now considering pressing charges against Mrs Rosetta over the incident."

Gosh, what a story. They shouldn't prosecute her but what was she thinking?

At 77, probably wasn't thinking at all!

Football players that hold their face and go down as though they have been Poleaxed to get a seining off.

The most stupid recent example is here:http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/32121130

He had a bit of grass thrown at him!!

....that's 25 years out of date!

That's old people innit. :)

I bought a tin of soup for my mum at a cub-scouts bazaar when I was about 8 or 9 years old. I reckon that had been donated by an old person because I can't begin to describe the smell when we opened the tin! :(

No but where is the proof that people who are working class and vote Tory, don't care about anyone else ?

But of a stupid generalisation really

Wow. You really don't know your country at all do you?

People who take iPads too football matches. If I see anybody with an iPad at today's game I reserve the right to batter them round the head with it. WHY WOULD YOU TAKE AN IPAD TO WATCH FOOTBALL AAAAAAAARGHHHHH

Bring back Witch burning!

Am I actually reading this shit?

Never thought I'd say this but check your privilege.

People that express strong views on the major political parties when they are almost identical in their policies. Voting Tory doesn't make you a eton attending upper class aristocrat and voting labour doesn't turn you on to a working class citizen smith hero / communist. Banging on about it is tedious in the extreme.

Football matches scheduled for 8pm on a Monday night when we've had a 4-day weekend for the game to be played.

Amen to that, Brother.

Someone recently said to me that only ex-Etonians and members of the Bullingdon club vote Tory.

That doesn't even make sense in simple maths, let alone on any deeper level of discussion.

Bass players who have the feckin' thing up around their tits. Tossers.

Not being able to bring and eat your own sandwiches to pubs. It's really annoying having to sneak off to eat them in the loos every time I go out, not to mention highly unsociable as I'm forced to leave the table for 10-15 minutes and sit in a cubicle to fill my boots. Add the time that I do actually need to use the loo and I must spend half of my evening in there. Plus why is it that everyone that goes in the next cubicle along seems to have a bloody great cold? Sniffing away unnecessarily . Unless it's a little hint that they are letting me know what I'm up to? Either way I'd like to eat my sandwiches with my pint please.

Why do ads never ever ever buffer when you're streaming a live event?

Palace winning every time I don't ******* go

Pulling off a great win aginst Man City and the media glossing over it to big up the Manchester Derby next weekend. We are not an irrelevance.

Like most derbies this season it'll probably be underwhelming

**** em, we and the players know how good we are

Man United WANKER scum writing 'thanks palace' on the club's facebook. I've told a few to go **** themselves, feel free to join it

https://www.facebook.com/officialcpfc?ref=ts&fref=ts

Yes but wasn't it worth the 16 day wait and we are making a habit of ending clubs title hopes on Monday Night Football!

Again, SSN and their cricket cricket cricket. Now it's the start of the Indian Premier League.

Who gives a shit other than Bradford or Hounslow? Or Leicester or Oldham or Burnley? Get your own channel for this irrelevant shit and piss off.

Can't believe how these ***** are toadying up to us. Don't care how much we're helping them out, they're not welcome.

Boat race watching idiots

http://travel.aol.co.uk/2015/04/12/s...?ncid=webmail2

They're okay if you win them. And suck if you lose. :lux:

LOL. And why is it when I want to watch the Mastrs in a seemingly official site (CBS) it tells me I'm not in the right region, yet the adverts seem to be fine.

Sick of all this region bollox; BBC, C4 etc. What should it matter if a programme of little interest to the vast majority outside the UK is limited to UK only - radio, too.

Little Fozzie going to Palace games

Couldn't a lot of them had got a bunk up?

So it was you? ..... http://www.cpfc.org/forums/showthrea...ight=Lost+ipad

Know what you mean Pete... surely the point of them is for people overseas or traveling... if I was in The UK I would watch it on the bloody telly!

Women who put their makeup on whilst on a train. That's like me brushing my teeth on the train.

Playing football at 40 and not being able to move the next day.

Playing football at , well over 60 and not being able to move for the next week.

That period of brand new shoes until they are broken in.

Half and half scarves. The people who sell them and the people who buy them.

Slow walkers. I reckon I walk faster than 99.5% of the London population. It's particularly frustrating when trying to get over London Bridge in morning or evening rush hour. Hurry the **** up.

People who use the word "basically" when making a statement or in the middle of asking a question.

For me this borders younger people using the word "like" every 6 seconds during conversation as well as journalists covering a story (usually a bad one such as a member of a family losing relatives in a fire) and their first question being "you've lost your family in a fire, how does that make you feel?"

And the people that call them "matchday scarves" and ask where they can buy them,

My son was a mascot at the Man City game, and I was forced to buy one through gritted teeth as a keepsake.....

Three 'Hail Supa Al's due, and you are absolved from all guilt, my son! :D

No such excuse for any more though!

:)

Worth every penny.

Trying to play football at , well over 60 and not being able to move there and then.

"I'll have a fruit cider please"

What, you mean you don't want the non-fruit based cider?

Chicken Pox

Being handed change on top of the receipt.

People who are clearly incapable of using self-service machines (ticket, supermarket etc) who insist on using such machines. You should need a licence

Estuary accents are annoying me today.

"Did you get me e-mao-wl? I sen'it chooose-deeee"

Agreed with ticket machines. I believe there should be a ban on tourists and day trippers from using these at mainline stations during rush hour.

Supermarket self service is a minefield though. A small change in air pressure will often see the ones in my local bark out that I should remove the unswiped item from the bagging area