Idiots slowing down on the motorway to look at an accident, one stupid bitch was even taking :veryangrypicture yesterday!!!

Those moments in life when you just know that if you had a third hand the problem would be solved.

The teenager I overheard on the tube arguing with his mate that goalkeepers should wear protective gear like Ice Hockey keepers. Feck Off

Andy Murray and his little girly scream when he serves.

"Easy" peel satsumas that don't f*cking peel easily. Whoever is putting the peel on needs to be sacked.

It's the same for the lazy twat who takes the pips out of some types of "seedless" grapes.

LBC's unhealthy obsession with Muslims, immigrants and benefits. Radio Littlejohn.

I wonder how they propagate them?

I know!
When you have both hands on her tits, need a 3rd to give a little tug.

Typing a long message on your phone on the train to post onto the bbs, only to get a 'web page not available' message. Feck off :grrr: Then when you try and go back to find it to try again, the phone overheats or the battery dies.

And then realising you've forgotten to stop at two stations :D

Only 2? :D

I'm a good boy with my phone, but we travel pass (passenger) everywhere to pick up trains. I use it then. Got free wifi too, but its shit.

Serious post - I know you wouldn't dream of it. The consequences wouldn't be worth thinking about.

Back on track (geddit)

For some reason the bit in "Don't Let the Sun Go Down On Me" when George Michael says "ladies and gentlemen Mr Elton John".

Actually, all of it but that pretentious bit especially.

No totally. Nobody does it.

Whats annoying me today is having to walk to the station to get the car, having been out with keltic, exiled and bubbs yesterday. Still, at least its not raining :)

You'd think one of them would give you a spin to it!

See also "spreadable" butter.

What, because it doesn't actually spread from the fridge? or because there's no such thing as 'spreadable butter' and margarine is the devil's discharge?

Nah its miles from them, we were out in stirling :)

Toothbrush chargers that don't charge.

Morrisons?

Yeah had 1 in there, then restaurant, then some irish bar. Was good, i like Stirling.

Exiled once invited anyone in Stirling to come to Morrisons for a drink.
I replied "which aisle?"
He didn't reply :(

(I thought it was funny :()

Not knowing what the f*ck everyone is going on about the last several posts.

Elgins, keltics, exiled and bubbs day out!

Actually, reading them back I can see where you're coming from - toothbrush chargers :)

The next Palace Minute cartoon could be good then. :)

You've not heard of Morrisons ? Tsk.... How the other half live . :D

Pmsl :D

Fans of other sports who try to get a football style chant going at the event.

For example - those twats supporting Andy Murray on Saturday.

Haha yeah sorry about that - my vain attempt to get the thread back on track :)

Going to work on a Sunday afternoon :grrr:

Wimbledon and those screaming women players. STFU!! I remember when the likes of Chris Everett used to just make a whincing sound akin to just having had it slid in.

Music in restaurants

#MURRAY :rolleyes:

:p

I've already had a pop at Screechapova on the Wimbledon thread. A while ago, I thought umpires were under instruction to clamp down on this, but apparently not :(

Way back in time, Jimmy Connors used to be a "grunter" - quite loud at that. John McEnroe was getting increasingly pissed at it all, and started mimicking him with his own little squeals and grunts. Connors took little notice and carried right on. McEnroe's grunts got louder and louder, the crowd picked up on it and started cheering. Connors finally twigged, and we ended up with a rally of comedy yells and groans. Even the umpire was forced to break out into a laugh.

And Connors grunted on. Tennis used to be FUN back then. :)

I think the Australians have been the worst at Wimbledon this week.

Myself. For getting too hooked on the Cabaye thread.

Serena Williams doing the ******* Haka after every backhand

Nah we just love our little Kyrgios

And Americans. For example on Man v Food when Richman is in a Diner full of rednecks somewhere and they start shrekking "Let's go Adam" followed by some badly timed clapping

Oh yes with their highly original '' Let's go (insert name) let's go'' clap ,clap:S:

People in a line in the bank for example who have personnel calls and the stare at you when you look around when they something interesting.

Oh yeah and long waits in banks!!!

Feedbot - WHO IS HE?

Cara Delevigne. In the papers every bastard day. Ugly old moo always falling out of nightclubs and that.

That girl needs to eat something. Disgustingly thin.

And Rita Ora and Miley Cyrus.

Scum

It's probably already been said but Shop queues. If I have to wait more than 3 minutes to give them some money then i ll go somewhere else. Used to be 5 mins but I am getting older and grumpier.

Never understood the media's attitude towards Rita Ora. A genuinely ugly women.

She has her lils hanging out all the time and does look filthy, so I can understand the attention.

Popbitch quoted someone the other week, stating of her "she looks like she smells of dried sp*nk". I thought this was a beautiful description of her.

Spot on.

I am getting like that too:D

People on TV who say "Give it up for...." when they mean please give a round of applause to....

Utter coffee drinking wankers

Large groups of people in pubs, cafes etc. who purchase their food and/or drinks separately.

Tight c*nts. They do my head in.

People who phone me and take too long to speak. If you take more than 2 seconds, I'm hanging up on you.

The reams of shitty worthless coupons that Sainsburys give me with each shop and a coupon telling me I get 2.86 off my next shop. Deduct it now you caaaants! You've admitted you've just robbed me, why should I come back?! All that shit should just work automatically off the nectar card anyway so I don't have to stand behind some wanker who spends two minutes finding his 10 extra nectar points against his value fish fingers coupon :veryangry:veryangry:

Any on-line news article that opens with "Fans take to Twitter" or "Fans react on Twitter".

So did Betty Stove, as in "pig".

She does look rough these days.

And they always pay with cards, the wankers

people who sit at a bar and dont get out the way when you want to be served

the adverts that pop up when you click on a you tube link (thank heavens for skip ad)

That clip 'has been awarded to the City of London'

Give it a rest now.

Buying a new pair of headphones so you have music for your 3 hour train journey only to find you left them at home but brought the previous pair which cut in and out on one of the ears unless you hold the wire in one particular position. Meaning unless you find said position you can only listen to music through one ear

People over explaining stuff.

People wearing singlet type shirts on the tube. I really don't want your sweaty skin rubbing against my clothes.

I had to google 'singlet type shirt' as wasn't sure what you meant but you are correct in every way.

The flip side is just as bad. I work with a bloke who says hello before you've had a chance to get the phone to your ear. I might kill him.

I don't know if it's been mentioned before on this thread but for me it's 'hipsters'. Skinny blokes with beards and tight jeans. They look like a gust of wind would make them cry.

People who end the call one nano second after they deem the call to have ended so they say 'goodbye' and then you say 'Goo.... (terminated by a loud crackle down the earpiece). Works best when dialling someone in your admin office or company that wants to make a point of how unimportant your call was to them.

I know I have form here but......

Wimbledon spectators. What's with the slow hand clap the minute a player challenges a line call?

You f****** *******. Absolutely totally cringeworthy you wankers.

Pointless canned clapping on TV Shows. In particular, lotto draws. Why the **** does anyone need to clap because some z-list **** pressed a button - and six numbered balls manage to find their way out of tumble dryer with a hole in it?

Moaning about hipsters? Is it 2012 again?

Agreed, also the ***** who feel the need to shout some inane bollocks right before a player is going to serve. Thanks for delaying the game and putting them off, you pricks.

twitter. And I don't even use it

The Cabaye thread

Gerrard and Lampard sucking MLS' cock over and over. Wonderful to be here. Everyone gets a thank. Except money.

Facebook for cxnts

So I've just started to get a bit hungry (it's dinner time here in the greatest country on Earth), and so I thought I'd put my frozen pizza in the oven for dinner. As I walk into the kitchen, out of the corner of my eye I see the box crumpled up in the bin. I'm absolutely furious, but there's no one here in my apartment to blame. And I'm far too lazy to put some shoes on and buy more dinner. And now I've got no food to eat as I flick between the Ashes, State of Origin, Yohan Cabaye thread and an essay for uni.

It should be compulsory to have 10 or 20 people with Tourette's in Centre Court and No 1 Court every day of Wimbledon. I wouldn't miss a minute. I would cry spunk.

Sorry, i've been doing a few interviews recently and have the STAR technique firmly in my head. Have you heard of the STAR technique? It's quite simple...

Step 1 – Situation or Task

Describe the situation that you were confronted with or the task that needed to be accomplished. With the STAR approach you need to set the context. Make it concise and informative, concentrating solely on what is useful to the story. For example, if the question is asking you to describe a situation where you had to deal with a difficult person, explain how you came to meet that person and why they were being difficult. If the question is asking for an example of teamwork, explain the task that you had to undertake as a team.

Step 2 – Action

This is the most important section of the STAR approach as it is where you will need to demonstrate and highlight the skills and personal attributes that the question is testing. Now that you have set the context of your story, you need to explain what you did. In doing so, you will need to remember the following:
Be personal, i.e. talk about you, not the rest of the team.
Go into some detail. Do not assume that they will guess what you mean.
Steer clear of technical information, unless it is crucial to your story.
Explain what you did, how you did it, and why you did it.
What you did and how you did it
The interviewers will want to know how you reacted to the situation. This is where you can start selling some important skills. For example, you may want to describe how you used the team to achieve a particular objective and how you used your communication skills to keep everyone updated on progress etc.
Why you did it
For example; when discussing a situation where you had to deal with conflict, many candidates would simply say: “I told my colleague to calm down and explained to him what the problem was”. However, it would not provide a good idea of what drove you to act in this manner. How did you ask him to calm down? How did you explain the nature of the problem? By highlighting the reasons behind your action, you would make a greater impact. For example:
“I could sense that my colleague was irritated and I asked him gently to tell me what he felt the problem was. By allowing him to vent his feelings and his anger, I gave him the opportunity to calm down. I then explained to him my own point of view on the matter, emphasising how important it was that we found a solution that suited us both."
This revised answer helps the interviewers understand what drove your actions and reinforces the feeling that you are calculating the consequences of your actions, thus retaining full control of the situation. It provides much more information about you as an individual and is another reason why the STAR approach is so useful.

Step 3 – Result

Explain what happened eventually – how it all ended. Also, use the opportunity to describe what you accomplished and what you learnt in that situation. This helps you make the answer personal and enables you to highlight further skills.
This is probably the most crucial part of your answer. Interviewers want to know that you are using a variety of generic skills in order to achieve your objectives. Therefore you must be able to demonstrate in your answer that you are taking specific actions because you are trying to achieve a specific objective and not simply by chance.

:D

Do they still have Cliff turn up at centre court when it's starting to rain and he has a bit of sing song? Oh how wonderfully British! They can all **** off as well.

Not forgetting Henman hill where a load of middle class lesbians turn up for a great mutual bean flicking exercise whilst Serena William grunts her way round court

Tesco self service checkouts giving me 50p change in the form of two 20ps and five 2ps

Don't think Cliff has been back to the UK since the 'accusations'.

The Lloyds Bank/X Factor ad.

Carpet fitters who turn up wearing Chelsea shirts. I've had to disinfect and fumigate the place.

I assume they didn't expect a cuppa unless there was gob in it.

People who allow Chelsea supporting scum to fit their carpets:D

It's the old question. Should you be allowed to murder a burglar and Chelsea supporters in your own house?

Call centres.

Specifically, the part where they say, "can I ask you some security questions........are you the account holder?"

That'll deter the crooks, won't it?

And it gets worse. When I call up to discuss my wife's car insurance policy, which I bought online, and for which I'm a named driver, they ask to speak to my wife. Even though I know all the details. Passing the phone over to a woman so she can confirm that I can speak on her behalf achieves what, exactly? And what if I'm the woman, and I have a deep voice, or I'm mute, or have cancer of the larynx? It's a completely ******* senseless policy, rolled out by one moron years ago, who's practices have since been adopted by subsequent morons. Nobody has bothered to consider whether it makes any sense.

I have to call the car insurance people later this week to change my car. When they ask to speak to a woman, I'm going to tell them that I am one, at the moment, but I'm midway through by sex change. Let's see how they react to that.

Why is it that the original search page in Google wont reload when you hit the back button after visiting a page you've just found listed on Google???
Bloody annoying!

People at the bar/counter ordering drink/food saying "can i GET.....?"

You're gonna have to get used to that one, it ain't going anywhere. Language evolves.....

One of my most disliked phrases.

Argh this!!!!!!!!!!!!

Probably been mentioned but people that do a weekly shop in the local petrol station! I want to pay for my ******* petrol!

Ignore, just seen that was the first post on the thread. :D

People giving me dirties for eating my dinner on the train esp those who I've had to ask to move their bags for a seat.
Do they really think I would be in work clothes at this time of night completely sober out of any reason than absolute necessity. I got in at 8.15 and have barely stoped for 13 hours so f**k you if my burger king chicken premium smells

Ew.

I wouldn't mind if the coupons could be used online - we do all our shopping online & get vouchers every week for either extra points or money off, but can we use any of them? Can we bollocks!

Right click the back button. It brings a drop down menu and you can select the page you want and it will take you to it.