I think I’ve got a stalker…

I think you moan too much.

Leonard Cohen

People at gyms that sit on equiptment whilst using their phones.

Leave the phone in the locker. Have a break from it and do some exercise.

And anyone that covers him

Hallelujah!

Leaf blowers. Old people of the world please get a (different) hobby.

Big zuu. Annoying nob.

The gym I use has now received an influx of kids due to the summer holidays starting and it's ******* ridiculous, standing around on their phones, hanging around one machine talking to a mate who's not even using it, one even had his shitty tinny reggaeton shite playing on the speaker of his phone. I asked if he had any headphones and he huffed and walked off.

LinkedIn. It’s just Facebook, except you brag about your new role of creative consultant executive assistant officer at whogivesafvckincorporated, rather than what you had for dinner.

The rumour was that he had allegedly contracted gonorrhea. The length of the ban was not expected by Man Utd.

I maintain a very brief profile on LinkedIn for the purpose of being approached for potential job opportunities, but I never stray beyond confirming connection requests and replying to messages. The things people post make my toes curl, the worst of all the social media platforms by far.

"So proud to work for...blah, blah, blah." See how proud they still are when they get dropped by said company for a younger, cheaper version! LinkedIn really is a "show & tell" of the shallowist kind.

I'm not on social media but I'm tempted to create a profile on Linkedin for a bit of amusement.


The trouble is my profile would contain the expression "I can't be arsed" too often to get many responses and in any event, I honestly couldn't be arsed to do it anyway.

I have it because employers supposedly stalk you on there to verify your CV, and can think you’re a weirdo if you don’t have one, at least if you’re under the age of 40.

Never posted anything (except by accident when I added a new job role), never will.

On a similar note, very old men at my gym (70+ I think). Massive respect for even signing up to the gym at that age, but don’t sit at a popular machine for ten minutes doing absolutely nothing. Not a single rep, just staring into space (no phone required).

Have offered to help a few of them before, couple were appreciative, but most just looked at me like I’d kicked a football into their back garden.

It’s always the men, for some reason. The old women seem much more productive.

It's possible that the old women have signed up their old men and they don't actually want be there?

:D

Perhaps.

Or they signed up to ogle the young (and old) girls.

Not that I would know...

Bad tinny music deserves on shit headphones deserves it's own category.

Playing any music outloud in public from a phone is even worse.

I don't see how anyone can claim to like any style of music when the sound quality is awful.

People seem to do it far more frequently in Croydon/South London than anywhere else.

You barely get subjected to it if you move to the sticks.

Naga Munchetty

She is a truly dreadful presenter. Very Partridge a lot of the time. She would probably be better off on the One Show or just ******* off completely.

I would say latter, I switch 5 live off when she comes on.

Blatter being found not guilty

SKY SPORTS NEWS . . . do we really need a transfer window countdown ticker to 100th's of a second?

The state my wife leaves our car.

Illinois? Texas?

Isn’t she a Palace fan?

So are you.

Apparently yes according to IMDb website (whoever they are) but their list also includes Pope John Paul II?

BOOM

Stephen Warnock reporting, on 5Live, that he's put English mustard on his hotdog & not 'American' mustard.

******* hell, stop with the faux pally bantz & comment on the football, you Scouse halfwit.

Channel 7 trying to boost interest in that antiquated concept the Commonwealth Games.

Looking forward to seeing Geoff Capes.

I would sometimes like to be able to put some Coleman's on my Bratwurst, mind (-not a euphemism-)

I believe he now goes by the name, Fatima Whitbread.

Supermarkets moving every thing around why bother if I wanted the other crap I’d go and look for it

Reminds me of the old gag that ends "No, Tessa Sanderson."

Being lost in a city centre and then receiving a 35 quid fine for entering a bus lane on my way home from visiting a mate in hospital. Guess where . . . BRIGHTON!

Putting my back out walking to the gym and having to spend the last 2 days prostrate on a wooden floor because laying on anything else is too hot/uncomfortable in this weather.

The thick troll known as Fen Eagle

The Brits going into meltdown because the sun came out.

Also, and this must have been said already, limp wristed, clammy handshakes, FFS you wet fart just do it properly.

Yes, but what if they are so fat that they are actually melting?

Sorry.

Are you sure the gym is for you if you put your back out walking to it. I suggest those chair exercises that old people do.

Worse is a limp elbow pump.

I find very little annoying these days.

Although I had a recurrence on Sunday. After a perfect cinema trip and other time with the two oldest grandnips, I passed by the local domino's.

Why not a treat for myself, I thought. Entered, unsteamed the glasses, looked at the offers, went to open my mouth....and...

...was told that they were only taking home delivery orders via the internet.

I took a step back, looked around, and said 'sorry, my error, I was under the impression this was a restaurant that served food to clients'. That led to blank looks, and I suspect some comments on my leaving of being a rude gringo tosser.

Thus, my no 1 current grievence is that the pandemic and post pandemic business environment has led to fat boy delivery scooters being the business plan of choice over and above any other form of customer service. It is just too much effort to serve walk-in passengers and have the tills or even card machines running. Clients don't even have to burn some calories picking up the fast food nowadays.

We are heading to the last of the human species mothership in Wall-E.

These organisations, and more so the smaller places, then complain later when they are going out of business.

I bought one of those on shopping channel. Overpriced trash, in the same drawer as the microwavable omelette dish, and sumo slicer.

I thought the punchline was "all the way down to my bollocks"

You must have a BBQ at some stage or you're dead to us, that's what most supermarkets seem to be saying this week.

Kate, William and their offspring... appear to have been in a massive charm offensive recently, appearances all over the place (making the little kid(s) dress up in suits is awful btw) to try to appear like the average famalam

Then, pictures of them getting on a helicopter yesterday at Kensington to fly off on holiday to some unknown destination, f**k the environment!

Why do we still tolerate the royals in this day and age?

The pictures of one of them (they're all interchangable) at Wimbledon in a jacket and tie! Hot day, having to endure baseline slogging and also wearing a jacket and tie! :S:

I met Geoff a few times.

He used to drive a mini(!) and park it in the Thames Poly Hall of Residence car park in Woolwich on visits to his then coach Stuart Storey, who was in charge of sports at the poly in the mid 70s. Really nice bloke (Geoff and Stuart). How the famous sports stars lived back then...

It's bad enough the sycophantic freaks in this country fawning over them and having weird parasocial relationships with the lizards and their spawn but then you see the yanks, especially the ones who care very much about "Harry and Meghan" one way or another. They have no excuses

You should be mad about the media. Who do you want to see photos of getting into a helicopter. It’s the media that take them and print/post them. They took photos of Rihanna in a flaming hairdressers watching a haircut FFS :)

The only sad reason is that people click on them/want to see them. I don’t understand it but getting upset about it is likely swimming upstream. I.e just not worth it.

Plumber's who finish their work but leave a leaking pipe. :rolleyes:

Geoff used to love a few beers and some in the Paxton pub on Anerley Hill after training at the Palace sports centre.

It was my dad's local and after throwing out time he saw Geoff trying to bend a metal lamp-post - dad swore he moved it a few inches :D

If you look into the lives of the "aristocracy" of England you will find that they believe they are a privileged lot and should be treated differently from the rest of us. I used to support and like them but getting to know them and their opinions of the rest of us I am becoming sick of hearing about them.
Doesn't make me a liberal...still a central leaning conservative :)

Return business.

The trick would be to set it up so it leaks a month later - then that is certainly a chargeable job.

We had an issue with a place we were looking to seel quick, and the cowboy put in a peice of old pipe or tube from a car. In doing so, he also cracked the
copper pipe firther down that was embedded in concrete. My wife paid him for that service.

Whatever you do, don't get Cyneagle's plumber in.

For some people like me with underlying health problems, extreme heat can be both uncomfortable and quite dangerous.

EFA, as Weltarse would say.

Men who don't understand urinal etiquette. Just went into the temporary toilets at Bishops Stortford services, 5 urinals, only #1 occupied. The guy in front of me headed straight for #4, leaving me no choice but to pick one next to someone else - what an arsehole!

Should have just stood behind him and pissed on his shoes

New remote controls. Almost the same as the last one, but diffeent enough to be disastrous for weeks after (for dimwits like me, anyway).

On a similar line, streaming services with different methods of rewind etc... On one you can press back/left twice to rewind say 20 seconds, another goes on a rapid downhill slalom that's impossible to halt once it's begun.

Yes! I have a new remote for my new TV almost the same as the old TV remote except there's and Amazon Prime TV button just where the old 'Guide' button was.. Grrr!

Today's grumbles:

Binmen who won't take an extra carboard box next to the full paper bin.

Getting yet another excess postage note through the door from from the Post office due to an eBay seller not putting the right postage on.

Bringing an expensive Dyson fan back to the Uk changing the plug making sure I have a 5amp fuse plugging it in and the whole thing going bang !!

^you could have stopped just there

Count yourself lucky...


https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.mir...y-27486719.amp

On the whole, this isn't a laughing matter, but them not emptying her bins after due to protocol really rubbed the salt in. The photo is classic tabloid.

Not a fan then? :rolleyes:

Most of their products suck...

I thought that was the point of a vacuum cleaner. :confused:

Whooshity whoosh.

Plumber will do repair on leaking pipe when in the area again but lives 50 miles away.
Looks like a job for local plumber. A compression fitting seems to be the source of the leak.

I was playing along.:)


Should have said "apart from the hairdryers."

On a serious note, is it that easy, or does the fan have a votlage switch from 110v to 220v (or whatever it is these days)?

Nope tried again and had a Whif of smoke so recon it’s fried. Will try and appeal to Dysons great customer support and see what happens otherwise it’s off to the skip unless I can get a few Bob spares and repair on flea bay

How can I put this without offending... I don't think you have a leg to stand on! :rolleyes:

Not do I but I live in hope. Btw is the black live and white negative on American plugs coz I could have wired back to front as well :) I will go for sympathy and being a multi Dyson “fan boy” and see if that pun helps

I was going to put my two bobs worth in about 110Volts, but it's already been covered.

Apologies.

Black is the "hot" wire, white is the return. I think ozzieEagle is correct. The motor in the fan will be for 110v.

I gave up trying to understand electrics… I’ve said before, I’m a (was) a mechanical guy and electrics is black magic to me, but yes, as Jonboy says above, white is neutral, black is live…. I think!

Yep just wasn’t really thinking bought stuff from the USA before and never had a problem so didn’t think

At least I got the plug right :)

As an aside… I can’t believe I’m looking into this, but the Dyson website is pretty clear their fans built for 110v cannot be converted for 230v use.

Oops. Looks like that’s ££££££ down the drain. Maybe I can buy a 240 motor and stick it in myself. Gotta be a spares dept

What could possibly go wrong? [emoji33]

It'll probably suck!

If he's lucky... or blow as it's a fan!

:supergrin:

Yep one of those things you have to be very careful with when buying appliances abroad. Our 240v will probably work in most places at 110v but it's not a guarantee that 110v will always be 240v compatible. You can actually get 240v to 110v step down transformers for about £15 on Amazon if you really have to use a 110v item in this country.

The best thing to do in these situations is to keep a cool head.

^the sound a working fan should make?

When you tap to pay, I went into a pet store and picked up what I thought was a bone for the barker, tapped the machine stuck the bill in my pocket...Mutt loved it.

Turned out it was part of a deer antler, much harder and lasts longer ,37 quid FFS

That was a dear antler, for sure.

:lux:

Very good :D

Probably a lot less than if you did it.

Poppycock :wallbash:

Rather large forest fire near to us for the last 2 days, I say near, its about 10 miles away, but its brought out the attention seekers and dopamine addicts on faceache.

People posting pics and saying how scared they are and garnering lots of "U ok hun" type posts....though theyre 20 miles away. People offering space for people to sleep if evacuated, knowing full well a family from Alhaurin isnt going to be interested in a small room in Monda.

One woman posted that she'd gone to bed terrified and "surrounded by fire"...she lives 100 yards from my house and the fire is a column of smoke in the distance.

Alahurin town had to be closed by police because there were traffic jams preventing the firemen getting to the fires....the traffic jams were caused by bellends driving to look at the fire.

D'oh, a deer?

I got one of those for our hound (exactly the same as yours but with the interesting combination of skinhead and shirehorse feet). I was annoyed when he turned his nose up at it, never to investigate again.