The media's insistence that AFC Wimbledon have won the FA Cup.

Making a cup of tea in the morning, only to discover there is no milk. Then treading in dog piss. Not the best start to a monday morning ever.

Sorry, but that image made me smile :)

Why are you making tea in the garden...with no shoes on?

:)

Fortunately I was wearing socks. If i'd slipped over on it there would have been one seriously worried untrainable chihuahua hiding somewhere.

People who go to the pictures and have to F*CKING EAT all the way through. Popcorn chomp chomp chomp chomp sweet wrappers more popcorn crunch crisps crunch chomp. Watch the film and shut the f**k up you selfish bastards, stay at home and watch films online if you want to sit there stuffing your faces.

People who call the cinema the 'picture house' when they're only 40 years old.

I heard this. They need to be told.

:lux:

I work with a guy who says this and he's a c*nt of the highest order. Lives in Brighton of course.

I bet they call what they are watching, 'filums' as well.

Bit harsh on people under 40 who grow up in a town where the 'cinema' is actually called the Picture House, Chocks.

http://i.imgur.com/O6IxoBR.png

Absolute wankers.

Exactly. I will not go to the pictures for that reason. Ugh!!!

ps,If I went, it would be the pictures, not the picture house (that's Irish I think).

This, this, and thrice this!

Sat for three hours watching Interstellar with some ****wit three seats down cracking monkey nuts for half the film. Interspersed with sucking a bucket of coke through a straw. What the **** is it with people that they have to eat during a film like they've never seen food before! :veryangry

Exit soap box...

Whilst we are on the going to the picture house to watch filums topic one thing that pisses me off a lot as a parent is the gigantic diabetes inducing portions of the soft drinks and pick n mix. You put about 4 sweets in the massive bags and the kids look at you like 'nice try, but give in or its full on tantrum'. Thanks cinema bastards!

The people who dont move their car along in traffic, they just sit there thinking there cool not realising further back people want to get in and out of side roads.

Well mk haven't won it either...

This. Every f*cking morning. C*nts.

Don't know if they still are saying it, but the BBCs laboured efforts to get the contrived word 'cupset' into the football vocabulary was a bit crappily annoying in the past. Give it up mate and move on.

Broadband providers/phone companies that make it impossible to work out what the best deal is, e.g., "ONLY £6 for 4 MONTHS plus FREE Super Hub, FREE install worth £49.95 & EXTRA £50 OFF when you buy online!*" *£14.99 a month +Line Rental – £16.99 a month or £169.90 for 12 months in advance.

£6 IS NOT THE PRICE, neither is £14.99. LINE RENTAL IS NOT AN OPTIONAL EXTRA. STOP ******* ME ABOUT AND GIVE ME THE TOTAL PRICE OF THE ENTIRE PACKAGE OVER THE WHOLE CONTRACT.

Getting shit FA Cup draws. Every fecking year

Must be a website somewhere that does all that for you, and gives you a best plan.

If not, there's a business opportunity.

People who toot their hooters at me cos they are not as cool as me

BMW drivers on narrow roads, driving too fast mainly on your side then move over at the last minute.

BMW drivers who don't indicate left when turning left at a roundabout.

BMW drivers who insist on driving 1cm from your bumper.

BMW drivers who are on their phone whilst driving.

BMW drivers who sit in the middle lane when there is no traffic, forcing you to either undertake or move over 2 lanes, to then move back in 2 lanes.

BMW drivers who weave in and out of lanes like they are playing a computer game.

Ditto for Audi drivers.

Car alarms that go off in the night... in fact car alarms full stop.

Does anyone ever take any notice of them, except the poor neighbours who are woken up at night then have to lay there waiting for them to go off again while the owner does f-all about it.

When the song "Candy" comes on, and everyone starts line dancing. Where and when did you all facking learn this?

That doesn't bug me. But what does is f*cking idiots that say they're going to see a 'movie'

They probably flunked their grades at high school last semester too.

F*cking idiots.

Vue Cinema on Purley Way turning a blind eye to the attendants waving dozens of their mates in for nothing to such an extent that they ask me what is the film that's about to come on?

Well done. Another lost customer.

F*cking idiots.

The cinema does have it's perks though, you can get an erection in public and no one will notice as it's so dark.

Television screens on top of petrol pumps that run TV ads while you are trying to fill up. TV ads in general when was everyone so happy?

smarmy Michael McIntyre with 'comedy' that could only be found funny by daily Mail readers.
The daily mail by the way is past annoying, it is offensive

Does anyone else think that the unfunny Michael McIntyre looks like the son of unfunny Ronnie Corbett?

At least Ronnie is a Palace fan.

I find the shadow on the screen normally gives the game away.

As does the fapping noise. At least it drowns out the popcorn munchers.

is he really though? Has he ever been seen at a game or anything like that?

Logging onto the BBS hoping for some transfer news and finding nothing :)

People who leave their food, particularly those who order meals at cafe/restaurant
and leave half the plate untouched.

Yes he has there always used to be a picture of him at games in the programmes, he also donated to the Glad All Over night years ago.

Probably a Spanish one but....people who stand in the queue for the checkout at a Supermarket with one small basket...you wait behind them until just as they get to the checkout their wife/partner/sister whoever arrives with a fully laden trolley.

Or the ones who get to the checkout and as the girl starts ringing the items through, nip off and get some last minute bits they've "forgotten"

As much as I admire what he has done in the game, the ridiculous nonsense and over analysis of the aged Gerrard announcing that he is ******* off to the US.

The worst is the media (and Brendan Rogers) telling us that FA cup final day is his birthday. They have only scraped through to the 4th round ffs, but it is said as if there is any justice, Liverpool will reach the final, and win obviously.

Toilet seats that won't stay up on their own.

Coleslaw now being Americanised to 'Slaw'

:p

Colossal yawnfest. Hope he goes on loan to Man City Lampard style and ****s the scousers over.

When people 'take to twitter' to vent their displeasure / annoyance.

Or to a football website. :D

Bastards!!

SSN treated it like he had died. On and on and on and on.

And those that 'take in a movie'. FFS.

When the youngsters say baller instead of footballer

Where does the word coleslaw come from ?

Slaw that's cole

'kohl' is german for cabbage.

this

Haven't heard that one before but it is annoying me already.

Thanks

And slaw ?

It comes originally from 'Coles law' which was a law invented by drugged up footballers so they could put a phone up their bum

That was off the top of my head but I googled it to check like and it comes from the same neighbourhood. It's what you could've done.

There you go.

Reality TV

So the yawnfest that is CBB 77 (just seems like it!) will be right up your street. Simply oozing z-list 'slebs.

Estate agents using the term that an area has 'arrived'.
C*nts, all of them.

Estate agents saying 'baller'. Hope they choke on their coleslaw.

Noisy eaters ,

Use of the word 'freaking'. Either swear properly or don't ******* swear at all you *****.

TV producers who allow the football cameras to linger on the goalkeeper five minutes after he's released the ball, whilst all sorts of stuff happens elsewhere on the pitch.

This is of course counterbalanced by those who instruct the cameramen to scour the crowd for large knockered beauties.

Seems to be getting worse that one - I'm sure you were watching the game Sunday over here. Long shot of Hennessy that they just would not stop to the point he started getting ready for incoming action again.

I've sworn at the TV more than a few times the last few years over this one.

Maybe it is because there are so many games being covered at one time there are not enough true football game producers/directors out there, and they don't understand the way football should be watched.

Drivers who cannot do a right hand turn until there is no traffic visible for at least half a mile

The phrase "grinds my gears".

EFA

Yup. Plus drivers who pull out and force you to slow down to avoid hitting them, because either there wasn't enough of a gap or they are too ******* slow/stupid.

And those are turning right to join a road, that seem to forget (or ignore) who has right of way - and expect YOU to give way because they've angled themselves across your path. I particularly enjoy (very slowly) manoeuvring around this special kind of ****wit - and smirking back at the dagger looks coming my way. More often than not it seems to be a woman in a Range Rover or an elderly chap in a Merc.

I would describe myself as a fairly courteous driver, but I don't give an inch to wankers that try to bully courtesy out of other road users.

I totally booking agree.

Youngsters, usually girls and women, that throw in the word 'like' at every opportunity.

"I was like so happy that he was like really into me. I couldn't believe it Gemma! It was like totes amazeballs!"


People that the use words such as 'totes', 'amazeballs' and the dreaded 'oh em gee'.

"And I was like duhhh". Were you? Why weren't you like an intelligent, grown up person who is in command of their senses? That would be more admirable.

People who say absolutely , instead of yes

You are rather setting yourself up here.

^^^^ This. Absolutely. A million and one percent.

"And I was like, duhhhh, HELLO?!"

I could have done. But i'm not a google bore fest like some. I prefer to enagage with other humans.

Just saying

Commentators talking about sportsmen 'taking fluids on board'

Football managers who constantly refer to "the football club". Why can't they just say "the club".

Golf commentators & players who talk about "the golf course". Why can't they just say "the course". After all where else do they play?

Adults that watch superhero films / read Harry Potter style books and not for their children, particularly when they waffle on about how amazing they are.

Spiderman is the intellectual level of my 4 year old daughter. I don't want to hear some ******* ****** gibbering inanely about how great the film is. If you struggle to follow a real plot then go buy some crayons to keep yourself amused and keep your mouth shut.

Anyone who thinks a confined train carriage/bus full of other human beings is an appropriate place to crunch through a bag of crisps, a food item that is innately noisy.

Onion limits on planes.

Things that annoy you
 

People that bang on about Nandos as if it's the greatest place to eat in the entire world. It's a restaurant / fast food place. It's not that amazing. It chicken with hot sauce. It's been done before.

These people can't have a normal Nandos either. It's always a 'cheeky' Nandos.

Tossers.

I do like a cheeky nandos

Nandos is shite.

Seconded.

Absolutely, whenever I'm on the train I listen to my music as loud as I can so I don't have to listen to these scum. I'm like "dude I don't want to hear your eating noise, it'll put me off the cheeky Nandos I'm going for later"

Over careful drivers who decide to sit nearly ten mile an hour under the speed limit through built up areas.......it isn't you with the frigging Audi stuck to your boot its the poor sods stuck behind you bell end.

Once had to put up with a guy on a packed train eating smelly chicken wings and swigging beer noisily . I would think the hygiene level on trains is pretty low with bugs/bacteria everywhere , not a place I would chose to eat .

I was on a flight to Hong Kong once that was stopping at Bombay.There was a family of Indians sitting behind who got out Tupperware boxes of reeking shit while the plane was only taxiing to the runway. Other people around were holding their noses it's bloody stank. I was going to turn round and tell them to take their rancid shite and piss off back to where they came from. But I didn't, because they were.

1. Gratuitous racism
2. The Dutch

This. Mediocre chicken with some hot sauce on it and average chips. If I have to eat there, I'll have the steak roll (apparently this makes me a weirdo). Why people make out it's Jesus's own restaurant is beyond me

NAH M8

Maybe I'll have to try that the next time I fail to convince the rest of the family that it's not really that good

Press conferences where you can't hear the fecking questions.

The livers are awesome. (At Nandos)

Everything instantly getting a hashtag and catchphrase

#JesuisCharlie
#UmbrellaRevolution
#ArabSpring

by doing this it takes away from the real issue and makes it a fad, something popular to use to get more "likes" and "followers". It's ******* disrespectful and puts the magazine massacre on the same peg as #susansalbumparty

You are not a "reporter" you are a twat shouting into a large, dark room hoping for attention. Don't use the struggles and blood of others as a candle to be seen.

#HashtagCraze

Sometimes it's a bit chewy but it's better than the chicken

the word cheeky

very annoying

Yup.
Also, despite the fact I like Macdonalds, I discovered many years ago that when you sit near someone eating the stuff on a train you soon realise it smells rank:D