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Bloody royals following in my footsteps. One week I'm going somewhere mysterious and exotic; the next week it's all over the Daily Mail. So much for exclusivity.
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I know one is supposed to be bowled over by her attractiveness an' all but she annoys the **** outta me. She's a right c**t. |
People who do not learn from history
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Drum machines playing on the radio during news bulletins. Heard one during Talkshit yesterday and just thought WHY?
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Cash point machines that charge you for the privilege of using them.
They should f**k off! |
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Filtering on the A13 this morning in the pissin rain and having a sneezing fit.The inside of my helmet/visor was a mess.Then getting to site soaked and trying to get helmet of without smearing snot all over my head:O_O::=Z:
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Paying £4.9fookin5 for a pint of Heineken at Center Parcs
Yorkshire war cry of 'Hooooooooow muuuuuuuuch' ensued. Bastards |
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Mind the gap threads, all three of them.
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Maybe I am lucky. |
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I have no complaint about my own bank either, but they have just closed my local branch down, so lost that personal contact I talk of above. |
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The manager I deal with at my own bank is fit tasty and horny. Her mate there looks like a model. Are they good at their jobs? Do they help me in any way? Dunno too busy getting thrown out for wanking. |
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I like you. I like you a lot. Not in the biblical sense though...... |
Tins without ringpulls.
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'Starchitect'
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Eyeeeee ahhhhhh it's an Op an Undddder.
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Salesmen knocking on my front door on a Friday evening at 6:30 when I've drank half a bottle of wine.... really, you want to sell me something!
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Seagulls. And not for footballing related reasons.
I was attacked by one once whilst atop a ******* great ladder. I tried to grab hold of it's beak and then strangle it but it bested me. Were it down to me, I'd destroy them all. They're filth merchants and they're coming more and more inland. Be afraid. Be very afraid. |
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It pecked like a c**t though. They're vicious bastards and they're getting braver as time goes by. Mark miwurdz, they're coming for you. |
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Are we talking about seagulls the birds or the scum supporters ? Coz I'm sure it's perfectly legal to shoot the latter |
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Protected species apparently. My best mate who owns a fishing boat moored at Shoreham told me that. There is a way but it's cruel and as much I hate them I can't be cruel to any creature. Well apart from a hamster I had when i was 6. Made him go around that wheel day and night I did. |
Baking soda, or bicarb, in bits of bread.
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Halfrauds. Last Sunday I needed a can of primer for some panels on my CBR600. Visited West Wichkam and they wanted £7 for a 330ml can :eek:
My neighbour picked up a can for me in the pound shop on Monday morning and it's done the job just fine. |
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They're evil, vicious bastards. |
For the last hour mainly iTunes.
I was trying to buy a tune that my wife wanted. I tried and tried and tried but could not get it to allow me to buy the darn thing. Did multiple help searches both on iTunes and Google with no luck. Finally figured out my credit card on file had expired over a year ago (shows how often I do this!). Not one bloody pop up telling me what the problem was. For once in my life a pop-up would have actually been helpful! My first use of the head banging smiley since its return.... :wallbash: |
"On this day, x years ago, Jamie Vardy scored against *random non-league side* and now he's just scored against *shitty Premier League side*"
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"On this day, 1 year ago, Leicester were at the bottom of the table, and now they're leading the league."
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People thinking Justin Trudeau is a good looking man. He's really not. Just because he's not a seedy old man like most politicians doesn't make him good looking.
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Not that I go to them any more but every year it annoys me how more and more mainstream festivals are getting. Irrational maybe but seeing Taylor swift and her entourage of supermodel friends, security goons and hangers on getting papped wearing vintage guns n roses tshirts on their way to some celeb afterparty at coachella really pisses me off.
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People with massive rucksacks at gigs!!
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The woman on the Go Daddy advert who says Doh Manye name.
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'End product'.
**** off. The most ugly phrase in the game. |
That twat in the Albion who enthusiastically cheered when Arsenal scored
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I find it annoying how before every game at Selhurst the TV commentator needs to point out how narrow the tunnel from the dressing rooms is, as if no-one else had ever mentioned it.
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Absolute W*n^ker working in the Porter... Get some professionals in there
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People who believe putting baking soda in bread will make seagulls explode if they eat it.
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I find it really annoying when people cough and do not cover their mouths, and also a poor customer service.
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Thinking I could help my daughter to enjoy her birthday by joining in the trampolining into the foam pit. I did, by breaking my glasses and acting like a beached whale whilst trying to get out of the pit.
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Colleagues. People.
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'city'
'united' Unless you come from Manchester please desist from referring to them without the manchester or man prefix. Obviously in the case of the latter there is a far more suitable name in 'wankers'. |
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Thank you :)
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I've played so many people on it.
Who do you support? United We had your ex manager Warnock at Palace. Warnock never managed United. Eh? He's Sheffield through and through. No mate, man united F*** off C***. |
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Sky are to blame for a lot of it too. City this, city that, trying to keep their big 4 bias. Bit fecked now Leicester are top. |
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He was Spanish and did not understand. Sod it, I laughed.:confused: |
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Yet another fantastic highlight in supporting our club. There's something wonderfully elegant about answering whom we support . Just one word. Classic and timeless. A word no-one else can lay claim to. Palace :love::love: |
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Well who had f*cking burst eardrums in the end eh? It wasn't me. |
Via a rammed home knitting needle I hope?
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Actually recognising so many Elton John song titles/lyrics.
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Getting to the tube station in the morning before it has opened.
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It annoys me that when applying sun cream, a mere two grains of sand in the vicinity suddenly feels like half the feckin' beach is on me. It's like the grains have an evil mind of their own and self-multiply whenever they sense the factor 50.
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When you call certain companies before they put you through to someone they ask you a load of questions which include your name and account number. When you are finally allowed through this vetting process, the first thing you are asked is your name and account number.
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Was Up the Junction one of his?
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It takes two?...oh no, that wasn't him
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Not Jim's fault his fat fingers didn't hit the space bar properly.
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Dwight squeeze?
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People saying various other sports are shit, despite the fact they've endured a season watching Palace.
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^^^^^^ Oh look at theres another beautiful sideways/backwards 3 metre pass.
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For instance, ice hockey, surely the players should be better than they appear to be, and to me it looks like a load of not very talented people on ice skates. But I would imagine I hold that view because I don't really understand how difficult it is. That does not mean it is a shit sport. I would assert that this applies to almost all sports (other than AFL and gaelic football, which really are shite ;) ). |
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Putting my CV out there for a new job with my new number - and Scottish Twatish Power try contacting me.
You giving me a job - No - then feck off |
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Using your example, I can ice skate a bit. However, try ice skating surrounded by Canadians who grew up playing hockey! |
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