Except that it’s Kleenex who have made this, admittedly daft, decision and not society.

:D

I presume you replied as such ‘go tell someone who gives a fvck’ ?

Accept the bill graciously.

Then present your neighbour with a bill for £211 for the dog utilising your fence.

:D

Agree with you. You’d think people had more important things to do. Boots had to withdraw a “Gentleman’s” sandwich as it had 1 yes1 compliant that it was sexist. You won’t be able to fart noisily without being told it is fartist against people that can’t fart loudly.

they've had pressure put on them by consumers in the last 12 months which have probably contributed towards this. Nice PR exercise for them as well.

https://twitter.com/LisaMHancox/stat...86428107726848 - this clearly never happened :jerkit::jerkit: stupid bint should have had polyfila shoved up her at a young age :D

They were obviously marketed for wankers.

He actually gave it to my wife, if he's got a problem he always comes round when I'm out. We previously didn't speak for a couple of years over another incident. But as he needed access to my garden had to grovel and apologies. It could be longer this time.

Presumably it must've got through his fence to get into your garden?

What a dick head he is -

Hope you just laughed and shook your head. A c unit like that doesn’t deserve a second of your time.

You should have screwed it up into a ball, thrown it and said 'fetch boy'.

On the subject of annoying ignorant neighbours...ours is having work done to his front garden that involves having big blocks of paving cut by an industrial masonary saw. The workman are sawing them in his front garden and subsequently our car this past week has turned from shiny blue to a bloody sandy yellow mess. Same as parts of our front garden.

No warnings, no apologies...no ‘I’ll pay for your car wash bills’ or even quickly hose down our motor...no attempt to sweep up our garden...

Mrs Bubbs is doing her nut. We’re not really close with them next door, just on nodding ‘hello’ terms. I’m reluctant to go and say anything for creating bad blood and can’t be bothered with the awkward ignoring that will know doubt ensue everyday over a bit of dust. But I know if it was us doing that work we’d warn our neighbours and at least try and minimise the mess to those around us though. Just common courtesy surely?

Anyone been in a situation like this?

It did, but that side of the garden its my fence. Been to citizens advice, they laughed then looked up the law. It is his responsibility to ensure his pack of dogs can't escape.

Yep, same law for if it does something while off a lead.

Answer machine messages when people fire of their contact number so fast that it takes about 3 playbacks to get the sodding number.

Just before I got to the end of your post the phrase ‘common courtesy’ popped into my head. And that’s exactly what it is. If your neighbor had come round and said ‘bubbsy mi old mucker, your car is gonna be a shit tip on the outside for a week or so but that’s life I’m afraid, deal with it mi old china’, you would have said ‘fair do’s mi old cock sparra darnt you worry’ (not sure why I’ve lapses in to some fake cockerneee bollocks accent but anyway, the point remains).

What to do now ?

Dog shit in newspaper set alight on his front door step, knock and run and watch him stamp it out ? Air bomb repeater through his open greenhouse window ? Eggs thrown at his front room window ? Hedge hopping ?

Sorry getting carried away - nearly mischievousness night round these here parts.

Personally I’d have a chat. ‘Hi mate, you know next time you’re gonna be ****, would you mind letting me know in advance. Ta duck’

Good luck pal. I’m right behind ya

Why are 90% of ball point pens ******* useless!

I'm looking at you Bic!

Talking of Bic, bought what I thought were 3 ballpoint pens only to find when I ripped 'em outta the packet that they were the 'so much ink & such a soft tip the paper's covered in blobs or it doesn't write at all' type.
B'stards!

Some great advice there mate - thank you. :D

However, knowing me I’ll just continue with the pleasant ‘hiya’s’ and nod of the head while saying ‘COCKHEAD!’ aloud in my head.

I’ve not been in such a situation, but I think I would make a big point of cleaning your car and garden while your neighbour is around and the work is being carried out. Make sure they see what you are doing. And if one of them is nearby just casually tell them to try to be a bit more careful.
It would definitely annoy me, so I know what you mean.

Had three extensions and a new house built on neighbouring houses/gardens in the last five years around me. My lawn damaged twice by delivery trucks, car and house frequently covered in dust/dirt from the building work and woken up after night shift by noise. Never had one apology or thank you from anyone despite owners living onsite. I couldn't think of doing any large scale work on my house without thanking my immediate neighbours with a bottle of something for the grief but that's just soft old me?

Starting to think that building work that requires planning permission in a residential area should have a a mandatory nominal compensation fee applied for adjacent owners to compensate for cleaning etc as long as the work goes on.

Could you try to go round and politely explain the inconvenience his work is causing you?

I am still annoyed by shitbags who put their feet up on train seats. I am thinking of carrying a bone saw, it is the only way.

When you book a days fishing a manningford with a load of friends and you come down with the worst cold you’ve had for twenty years and can hardly manage walking up the stairs let alone around a lake. Dirty snotty virus bastard.

Piss on their legs.

When they ask what that was all about, tell them, Sorry I was going to piss on the seat but your legs were in the way.

We live in a cul de sac of 20 houses. This year no fewer than 8 have had works of varying magnitude done, meaning skip lorries, grab lorries, builders merchant deliveries pretty well every day, plus the blokes’ cars clogging the place up, not to mention a severely bent lamp post. Not one resident gave any notice and none has apologised for all the muck and inconvenience.

Agree but also why the **** should trains become picnic parks or fast food restaurants ..... I don't want to see you eat that s*** or smell the stinking s*** .....no food on trains!!!!! Or buses!!!!

I hope this is not the same virus that Meyer and Sørloth have - if so it sounds like no way they will be available.

Vegans complaining that parkrun have a new sponsor, the happy egg company.

Fixed it for you. The only ***** more boring than the CrossFit crowd.

Christmas lights up in Selsdon. Wankers

2nd bricky letting me down,why the **** say you will build the wall then not turn up,no call,nothing. Now it's getting late in the year and I might have to wait till next year,you utter c×nts:veryangry:veryangry

You only apologise if you're on fairly good terms. Apology = Liability.

:D

What a load of old bollocks

I think you meant to post this on the sunday roast thread.

Whiny little brats in pubs. .

Parents of said brats rivalling the kids for whinyness

The fact that the ATMs outside East Croydon Station charge £1.99.
Tosun - did feck all when he was in my fantasy team but scores today of course.

the inevitability of how we lose.

Sirloin steak, egg and chips and a pint of beer, £9.40 in Carlisle.

Kids in pubs.

Plus parents who sit in pub gardens, who tell their screaming, obnoxious little shits to go play at the other end of the garden, as they don’t want to listen to their stupid, foul mouthed obscenities as they are out for a quiet pint.

Perhaps we were all sitting at the other end garden because we were trying to avoid their feral spawn in the first place.

Just FUCK OFF YOU INCONSIDERATE SELFISH *****.

They'll all be on your next long haul flight too

Cafes in OZ advertising breakfast as "brekkie"
Not sure why
Also why the f*ck do people walk around barefoot in inner City suburbs
Savages

you should know by now Pete, the the Aussies are incapable of saying a full word.
We had a girl in our office in Sydney called Sarah who was known as Sa.

What did they call Ann?��

I didn’t realise that - there’s no warning of that’s the case when I withdrew some cash the other day

People who hold the queue up in supermarkets with often out of date money off vouchers.

Don't go to East Croydon Station much, first time I noticed it was today.

I withdrew cash there on 17th October for the first time ever after the Lloyds on the corner closed. Just checked, and there was no charge. So, is this new? Won't use them again just in case.

Someone was saying it about 2 days ago.

Isnt that the same as abbrevaiting Australia to Oz, unless you were refering to the magical land of Oz and the cafes of the Emerald City?

:D

Professional footballers who miss penalties.

The smell of vapes.

I haven't smoked a cigarette in my life, but have spent many, many happy hours passively smoking in pubs & clubs etc. over the years (I actually prefer the fug of pubs in the old days to their sterile atmosphere now).

However, I cannot abide the foul smell that people leave as they walk along the street blowing clouds of sickly perfumed gas.

This^

It depends who misses it.

Sometimes it's great, other times not so much.

They really should never have banned smoking in the first place.

the same goes for a heavily perfumed/after-shaved person.

At least it's only a passing annoyance.

And if you walked through a cloud of my vape it would take you back to the fug you miss as I only use tobacco flavoured liquids :p

As a non smoker, even I agree with you.

Or people that hold the queue up as they try and find their debit card or money. Have the ******* stuff ready before the store person is putting the items through the till!

Or those that have a full trolley and go through self service tills.

It's like a surprise to them they have to pay!!! Twats!

Far too easy.

Even worse are the ones who pack their shopping, usually slowly and load the bags into the trolley, THEN scrape around for said card.

AND THEN ask for fcuking cashback!!

Probably the same people whose travel passes are always somewhere in the nether regions of their bags instead of a sensible place like a jacket pocket.

Let's add the bulk buyers of lottery tickets / scratch cards to the list. They invariably show absolutely no regard for the ever lengthening queue of people behind them while they potter about selecting various permutations of losing a tenner.

People that buy scratch cards and scratch them off at the counter.

Wizz Air and their 'online check in'.

Wankers. 105 euros poorer now.

This with bells on.

Im tired, I want to go home, I don't want to watch you rooting through your handbag as you board the bus, holding everybody up when you've been stood waiting for the bus for 10 minutes.

+ 1 channels not available in HD. Everything should be f*cking HD now. It's an old technology. Not in 4K I can accept.

It pisses me off that HD channels are charged at a premium price too

Yeah heard this yesterday. A complete cash-in for Box Park punters and people using the trains that don't have time to mess about looking for a 'free' one.

South Croydon station has just turned to having a charge too. Mind you it did get blown up a while back by the butane boys so might have cost quite a few quid to replace :D

BBC can't even show the local news in HD FFS!!!!

Have we already done the one where you come home and the family are watching SD terrestrial channels on the giant ultra 4K TV with HD box?

I'm turning into my old man... "Why is the heating on with the windows open? Am I paying to heat Croydon?" followed by my own new addition, "and why are we watching the TV in Tetris mode instead of HD???"

#middleclassproblems

You unashamed capitalist pigdog !!

Whats the hurry.... I'd prefer this to the Aldi trend for whizzing everything past the scanner at super speed only for shit to pile up whilst you organise yourself... this is completely unnecessary and i will not be forced into a panic and go at my own pace whilst ignoring the tutting from the checkout... if they want it at super speed then give everyone hand held scanners and just have pay stations..



Apart from that I quite like their Euro product range

I am not sure why but guess its between getting old and people assume you are senile or because I do not wear a suit and tie anymore. What ever being treated as an idiot the two latest examples being the customer care assistant in the bank who knew less about banking than I did as she had no idea about a CHAPS transfer and a solicitor down the house buying chain who knew less than I did on adverse possession of land.

Sh** me it winds me up when people record a programme in SD when there's an HD choice. Jesus I pay for it, bloody use it.

With you on this one. I provide the family with HD Channels of everything and come home to them watching free Beeb in tetris mode. :wallbash:

Ordering a chocolate milkshake from McDonald's and it tasting like banana

Hotel rooms where the electricity is controlled by you key card, and that includes the plugs, so you can't leave something charging when you go to breakfast.

Hotels that don't give you 2 keycards.

People that don't charge things sufficiently before going to breakfast

Just use one of your coffee/loyalty/credit cards instead

People that dont put things on charge through the night.

Plug location is the problem. Not one by the bed.

The phrase ‘the definition of insanity, is doing the same thing again and expecting different results’ normally wheeled out by some Kevin Day type who thinks their have the secret answer when really that phrase could be applied to anything and is meaningless.

Firstly it isnt even the definition, ‘insanity’ is a soley a legal term to describe someone who couldn’t see right from wrong whilst commiting a crime (nothing about repetition)

I can see the phrase making sense if you apply it to someone doing something ‘crazy’ like banging their hand on a table and expecting it to rain, but wouldnt changing your actions and expecting it to rain would be equally ‘insane’, so therefore it is not about the actions, but the ‘expectation’ that more defines it as ‘insane’. This though already uses a situation that is ‘crazy’, so already has an ‘insane’ connotation. Perservation is strivig to achieve something over time, couldnt the phrase be said if you were unemployed and went to hundreds of job interviews. There are varibles here but so are when people use this phrase, essesntially it doesnt mean anything other than the user wants to feel smart momentarily fo pointing something out.

...people with too much time on their hands

Says someone who lists their ‘gaming achievements’ in their signature.

People who use public toilets and do not wash their hands before grabbing the door handle on the way out. Filthy, selfish scum.

Arrrhhh drives me mad as well. Dirty bastards

I used to like to follow it up by having a handful of peanuts from every bowl left on the bar. But you don't get that as much these days for some reason.

That'll have you shitting water the next morning.

People who have to have their phones within 1 ft of them whilst they sleep

People who can't pee without getting it on their hands.

If I forget to ask for 2 keys I find you can usually chuck something like a nectar card in there and it does the job.

YUp.

Getting paid 3k extra in error.

Went into a public toilet at the beach yesterday, and it was basically a whole in the ground with no running water.

God knows what the homeless crack heads get up to in there.

Nowhere to wash your hands in sight... tried not to touch anything that wasn't me, but locking the door was unavoidable!

See? You even have the time to read people's signatures they last updated 7 years ago.

Also; touché.

If only it was possible to engage someone, perhaps who was skilled in electrics, who could install a plug by your bed. Perhaps this is the sort of genius idea that might succeed on Dragon’s Den?

I just assumed you were going through a barren spell after ‘20.